One day I was in the park with my 2 year and my male neighbor was there with his 2 year old son and his 2 little dogs.
We were doing our own stuff until my daughter saw his dogs and run to them, I didn't want to let my daughter play with the dogs since I don't know the dogs (or the owner) but my neighbors was very nice and hold them and told me that they were very friendly, and they were very nice dogs.
So while my kid, his kid and the dogs were playing we were just staying there without talking but it was kind of acuard. So we start talking about our kids and the guy was very easy going.
Once I saw him and the wife and I smile to his wife but she didn't smile back.
After that I haven't really talking to him besides a hi, how are you doing, how is your son, and bye, no because he is mean but because the wife I don't want to cause any problem.
Since then I try to even look away when I drive by, but we live in a community with only one exit, I saw them not everyday but often.
Today I had to park next to their house because I forgot to close my garage and I could do it from that parking spot, I notice he was out but didn't say hi and when I start driving back I saw his wife walking and I try again smile but she didn't.
Sometimes I take my daughter for walks but I have avoid walk in that street so I don't see them, which is a shame because my daughter liked their son and their dogs and would have be nice to have a friend for my daughter.
Would you just stop talking to both, or just keep saying hi to the husband, or try to introduce yourself to the wife?
PS: They know I am married, and I say hi to them even whit my husband in the car with me. And I don't know if it matter but they both are in fitness and the wife is very pretty, I can even understand why would she even be jealous, perhaps she is just cold?
After reading your replies, I think you guys are right. a) I may just presume that she is jealous because she didn't smile back. b) is not better way to find out then introduce my self. It just was one of those very awkward situation, plus the fact that I really would like my daughter to have a friend in the community (and he has friendly dogs, does it get better than that?).
Thanks all for your advice.
I'm not really hearing any jealousy in your examples... just not a lot of extrovertedness on their part, and a lot of nervousness on yours. I don't really understand why?
Introduce yourself. You may find out you were making more out of it then what really is. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Who knows maybe you will become friends! If that doesn't work then at least you know you made an effort. Best of luck!
I would definitely introduce myself to the wife and then if they are still cold and unwillingly to talk, then drop it. All you can do is put yourself out there and see if they are willing, and if not, don't waste your time. Some people are just not very friendly and obviously it's not the husband, it's the wife, but people are different around their spouses sometimes, so make the effort and then forget about it!
Introduce yourself to the wife.
maybe just cold- try not to take it to heart. Just be yourself, and if they don't like that then it's their loss! =D
I think you are presuming she is jealous. She may be non-social and has nothing to do with you or in my case don't wear my glasses and don't see anyone till they are a foot in front of me(lol). Go intro yourself properly and see where it takes you. Obviously if the husband thought his wife was a psycho jealous woman he probably wouldn't have been so friendly in the park. I think you mis-read this one.
They sound very strange to me and I would just shrug it off and be friendly with other people. We lived upstairs from a couple who did not like us, but we would smile and say hi and they would run into their apartment as quickly as possible. The wife hated us because she did not like sounds and lived downstairs from two college students, one of which loves to play metal very loudly during the day. In spite of the music (which we were courteous about) she complained constantly about us and they eventually moved. If they are so unfriendly, why bother trying to force a friendship just because your kids are the same age? The wife might be jealous, but again just shrug it off. Ironically, one of my best friends was introduced to me by my husband--they worked together and he talked about her a lot and how much I would like her until he finally introduced us. We are almost best friends and have sons the same age. I don't like jealous or nasty people and would not want my kids around them anyway. You can at least keep smiling at the dogs. :)
Insecurity. It has little to do with you. She probably feels threatened by anyone her husband talks to. To keep the peace he probably has to shut you out to keep the wife happy. So be cordial, but distant and when ever possible if given the choice to talk to one or the other of them - choose the wife to talk to. You don't know what baggage she has. And for all you know he might have caused some of it (strayed in the past). Or maybe she just can't trust in anyone. What ever their problem is - it's their problem - it has nothing to do with you. So don't worry too much about it.
Perhaps she is jealous, perhaps she is not. I think the best solution is to call her & ask her if she would like to have a playdate w/ you & your child, as your kids are the same age. Ask the WIFE for the playdate, not the husband. If the husband answers, just be pleasant & ask if the wife could call you back, that you thought she & yourself & the kids could get together to play. Do not have a prolonged chat with the husband. Do not invite the husband to a playdate. If she is jealous, the best way for her not to be jealous is to become friends or good acquaintences w/ you.
Hi well first I would continue to be pleasant and kind. I think its her not you. Maybe she is shy or not a very nice person. Maybe she just moved to the area and doesn't know anyone.
Why don't you go over to her the next time you see her and say something like.." Hi our kids are the same age..would you like to come over sometime and the kids could play. Maybe she just needs a friend.
If she doesn't accept your offer I would continue being pleasant but I would not make any more effort inviting her. Good luck.
... some neighbors just don't want to engage or get friendly with all the neighbors nor socialize. And that's it.
For me, we have neighbors with kids and/or pet dogs.... we happen to see them if we are outside in passing etc. But honestly, I don't want to chat up with them or get "social" with them or their kids. Sure they are nice & its not anything personal against them, but I don't want to get social and then end up having to have play-dates with them or their kids. My home, is private and I don't want neighbors just coming to my doorstep to "play" or just pop by, unannounced. Which is what happened before.
Once, me and my kids were just outside playing... and then the neighbor and her kid saw us... then they came over. And they ended up staying for 1 hour! I really had my hands tied... and because they are 'neighbors' I felt cornered and that I had to.... put up with it. Because who wants to be a 'snotty' neighbor. But well, I don't want pop-up neighbors on my doorstep. And I don't want to give them my personal phone number or have to explain my 'schedule' with them or my kids, nor my personal life.
So.... I am friendly in a perfunctory way with neighbors... but not overly social with them. My home and place I live, is private, and I don't want neighbors IN my home or having to play with them or their kids everyday, nor make it a habit.
Going back to that Mom and her kid that came over as I explained above... well after that, she and her kid would walk by our home everyday at about the SAME time... and they would look to see if we were outside... to play. And they would stop. Frankly, that was kind of irksome. I don't want passer by play-dates. My kids, said they didn't want to play with her kid (who was younger) every time, either... nor to feel they have to just because we all happen to be outside at the same time. Inadvertently.
So, my point is, I can kind of relate to your neighbors who are not real 'friendly.'
Some people are just not into getting close or social with neighbors.
I may seem anti-social... but my thing is... my home and premises are private and I just don't want my neighbors being all knowing about my life or my kids or my home. I like to be able to go about my own life/business/habits/routines... without them knowing what I do or my kids. I don't want to be in a 'fish-bowl' or feel 'obligated' to have get togethers with them or their kids.
all the best,
Susan
