So we were making progress with potty training and then while trying to get to the potty in time to poop we missed and poop got everywhere. I tried my best not to make it a big deal, cleaned us up and told her it was okay and it happens. We'll it's been 4 months and she is still afraid of the potty. I know she is only 28 months, but I'm starting to worry that she isn't over this fear yet. I've sat on her potty, I've had her dolls sit on the potty, I took her with me to pick out a new potty at the store and nothing. She tells me when she goes or when she has to go. She goes long periods of time being dry and she understands that you are suppose to pee and poo on the potty. I can't even get her to sit on it. I ask her everyday if she wants to sit on it, we read books about it. I've offered her stickers, M&Ms, dora underwear. She doesn't care and won't sit on the potty. I don't force the issue, I just simply ask her everytime we change her diaper. Is there anything I can do to get her over this fear, or do I have to continue to wait it out? I just feel that it's such a major set back and if we didn't have the poop incident, I'm convinced she'd be trained by now.
I agree with Margie, they all do it in their own time. I have a daughter with a disorder that makes it harder for her to understand and it taught me a lot of patience when it came to my next daughter potty training. It's kind of like when you lose something.. Once you stop looking, you will find it. Good luck.
I need to clarify this:
how do you know she's afraid? Does she scream/cry? Does she hide behind you? Does she even go into the bathroom?
A few years ago, one of the girls in my daycare went thru something similar to this. Mom finally forced the issue & picked her up....& calmly placed her on the toilet. The girl started to wail & then realized that Mommy was still holding her. Mom got her attention, began talking her thru holding onto the "big girl" toilet......& end game.
I know this may seem harsh....but it worked - all because Mom was calm & collected throughout the process. Would I have tried this...."no" for my daycare....."maybe" for my sons, if the case warranted. Thank goodness, it was one bullet dodged for us!
Now for the rest of my thoughts: in the future, when faced with an issue/dilemma such as this.....Please do NOT try to use consumerism, bribes, etc to try to work your way thru the problem. The more you push....the more she'll dig her heels in.....& the longer the process will take! Kids thrive on drama, bribes, & manipulation.....backing off eliminates most of it! Peace.....& good luck.
take away the diapers let her run naked and clean up any messes. she will get the hang of it. and if she has an accidenbt have her help clean it up. It will get better. Just ditch the diapers. No pull ups either let her be naked. all the time accept naps and night time u can put on a diaper. dop it over the weekend and stay home get as many naked days as possible for her.
i know it's frustrating...but you gotta remember, she's only 28 months (i know, you just said that...lol)
maybe she's regressing a bit. no biggie. maybe take the pressure off yourself and her and don't mention it for awhile. maybe a few weeks, maybe a couple months. we had a couple false starts before we succeeded, too. i believe that my son just wasn't ready. yes, girls start earlier, but to me it sounds like she is resisting for whatever reason...it's a battle she will win every time.
if it was me i would back off her for a few weeks before trying again. of course being positive and encouraging when you do bring it up again...and heaps of excitement, hugs, and clapping when she does it successfully.
i know it's hard to go what seems like backwards...but to me i just think either they're ready, or they're not. is it worth the stress of fighting a losing battle?
My guys are 3 1/2 (twin boys) and we JUST achieved this feat! I know boys are supposed to take longer and blah, blah, blah, but I can honestly say that I did EVERYTHING last year at this time (getting them ready for a preschool which said they had to be potty trained, but understood that not all children are ready, especially early birthday kids :) ) and FAILED! I knew they were ready a few weeks ago, and I just said "we don't have anymore diapers", I carry a potty in the back of the mini van :) which helps while traveling (this means going anywhere, library, market, any/everywhere) and I always have them sit on the potty before we go into a place and when we leave...and they always go even though they say they don't have to.
WOW! Sorry to be so long winded! Point is, you cannot make a child who is not ready for the potty potty trained. She will come around when she is ready, PROMISE!
Good Luck!
My guy is 27 months so I can relate to the age and the potty training saga. We hit a wall ourselves a few weeks ago so this is what I did and am doing.
Take a week or two off with no mention of the potty, don't ask her if she needs to go, but leave it in sight. Then in a week or so get the diapers out of the house and don't look back. Keep her bare-bottomed as much as possible, tell her, don't ask, to sit at regular intervals every 20-30 minutes at first and gradually increase the time between as you gauge her needs. Use cloth training pants with plastic pants over them for when she needs to be covered, she'll feel the wet of her accidents (they can't with Pull-ups so don't have an incentive not to go in them) and you can tell her she has a choice, her pants or the potty. Use waterproof pads under her when she's sitting on carpet or furniture. Save the Dora underwear for when she's actually going regularly on the potty. Have her help with cleaning up her messes, agree with her if she says it's yucky, and remind her she can pee and poop on the potty. Praise her for trying and her successes, encourage her but don't offer bribes as they haven't worked. ~An exception I made was to get him to poop. He is peeing great, but resisted pooping, so I said he could have a candy IF he pooped on the potty. He looked at the bag of Dum Dum pops for a couple of days, tried to poop a couple of times, asked for "Canny!" and I kept reminding him he would get one when he pooped in the potty. He did yesterday and got his sucker, and I'll be using them until he gets in the habit of regularly pooping on the potty then wean him off them. He doesn't need treats for peeing so he sees this as special.
Hang in there, and don't frustrate yourself or her ; )
If somebody asked me several times a day if I wanted to do something THEY wanted me to do, I know I would be feeling pretty anxious and nagged about it. Try to see this from your daughter's point of view. She does not want to use the potty, and makes that clear several times a day. She's got no room to work out the issues on her own, and probably feels pressured, even though you don't make her try it. This would make even most adults put on the brakes.
If you really want to give her some space, which is what I think she probably needs right now, just tell her, ONCE, that you are sure she will want to use the potty, and she will be successful, when she is ready. Then give her time, at least two months, before you bring it up again. Keep using the potty casually yourself. In a couple of months, start the positive pre-training again. A lot of changes happen in kids your child's age over the course of a couple of months, and also a lot of forgetting of traumas and failures.
Meanwhile, keep doing your homework, finding educational articles like this one, which gives "readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...
She's only 2. Give it time.
Don;t ask anymore say It's potty time.
Then take her to sit a couple minutes.
Put a timer on for 1/2 hour or one hour, whatever you think is good.
Have just potty books, ours sang little songs when you pushed a button, they were only for potty time though.
Praise her for just sitting, but dont overdo it.
One day she will use her silverware, her napkin, and brush her teeth without being told, She will walk across a stage and be off to college, and she will be potty trained. :o)
