It's Beach Time, but I Was Told My Swimsuit Was Inappropriate!

Personally, I wouldn't wear something that tiny around my kids. But if I had the body for it I would certainly wear it when they weren't around!

But I have a friend that grew up with his mom dressing very sexy and it was very embarrassing for him. He has said as an adult he wouldn't have cared what she did on her own but when she was around him, his siblings or his friends he would have preferred she be a little more conservative. Not that he would have wanted to see her in frumpy one piece suits but you get my point. There is always a good middle ground. The younger ones may not notice/be uncomfortable but I suspect the older one might. There are tons of cute 2 piece suits out there that you will look amazing in!

So sorry, but I have to agree. Don't wear it. Save it for the times when the kids are not around. That being said, I too wish I could wear that!

This is a hard one. For me personally, my body is for my husband to see, not for every man and woman on the beach to see and definetly not for my children to see. The point of a bathing suit is to have something to swim in. So what harm is it to buy one that is flattering but still covers you? I do not wear "tiny" bikins because I don't feel like I need to prove how sexy my body is and I don't feel the need to flaunt it to make other men drool. I personally am a confident woman who only cares about how sexy my husband thinks I am. And, I would like to think that I am a good role model for young girls on the beach that are watching the adults and how they are dressed. I would like to think that I can show them a woman can look good in a bathing suit without showing the world all her 2001 parts.

I wouldn't wear it. I am in the camp that thinks you don't need to wear an itty-bitty bikini to look great, show off your body and be sexy (your body will look exactly the same if you wear a bottom with a bit more coverage). I also much prefer to save my really revealing things for my husband rather than inviting ogling in public.

While I doubt seeing you in that suit would traumatize your boys, they are learning from you what to look for in women, how women should dress and behave, etc. How would you feel if your 9-year-old started dating a girl in a few years who wears a suit like that, or a really short skirt and a low-cut shirt? Maybe you wouldn't care, but personally, I would not want my boys going after girls who feel the need to dress provocatively. In your case, you may just be wanting to wear this bikini because you work hard and look great and are proud of it. However, many women dress provocatively because they are insecure and looking for affirmation; they often lack the self-confidence and self-respect I would want my children to value (this is particularly true of teens and 20-somethings who dress immodestly). I would not want my boys going after girls like those, so I would not want to model that for them.

I totally agree that it's good for children to be raised realizing that the body is a good and beautiful thing; I want my kids to feel confident in themselves and their own skin. However, I also want to teach my kids to value a certain degree of modesty and self/other respect, and for me that means also teaching them to not to be too comfortable showing TOO much skin to just anyone.

If your children aren't uncomfortable with it, or with the comments they may get from their peers, then it's probably all right. I think even nudity is fine IF it doesn't cause discomfort for anyone (and the social norms where yo live will help determine what people are used to looking at). The human body is beautiful, fascinating, and acceptable.

That said, a body clothed in a swimsuit, depending on the style, can leave a number of different impressions upon impressionable young minds, ranging from matronly, to sporty, to sexy. A sexy design can be far more provocative than total nudity. Designers have "motives" and a great deal of science behind their fashions, and if sexual allure is one of their motives, they do know how to make the most of it.

So I guess I would throw your question back to you. I'm sure you can answer this question honestly for yourself: Is your swimsuit designed to attract the sexual interest of other men? If so, it is probably not appropriate for boys (or girls) who are almost certainly exposed to suggestive images in advertising on a daily basis anyway. They are innocently soaking up all those impressions without a way to understand their impact, but the totality of these early experiences will become part of how they eventually express themselves sexually. What do you want for your sons?

Wow - lots of heated debate here. I will pitch my tent in the modest camp. Just because you CAN wear a bikini doesn't mean you SHOULD wear one. I don't think wearing one would necessarily be harmful to your children, however, the attention you receive from others might (and you know you will be looked at). If you're confident in a bikini, you should be just as confident in a one-piece. I personally don't think you need to advertise the goodies for everyone to see. If you're fit & healthy, that's great and that's a wonderful example for your children. Having others stare at you isn't.

Harming them? Geesh. People are so body prude. Everything is sexualized. She should be embarassed, not you. Shame on her for even thinking that way. Those are your boys, they don't look at you as anything other then Mom. Maybe your friend doesn't have as nice a body and was a bit jealous? People say stupid things out of jealousy.

You should tell her that you won't be wearing it around the boys because you sunbathe naked in your backyard. :)

You know, my parents slept naked and always have. My father has a habit of sleepwalking and checking on all of his kids in the middle of the night. He would do the rounds and look in on us. I was never "harmed" for knowing my parents slept naked. I was never harmed by seeing my parents bodies. Bodies are natural, they aren't disgusting, they aren't something to be ashamed of. Not everything having to do with the body is about sex.

Hi K.,
I would agree to not show so much. Males are totally visually oriented. It is a real struggle for them when women are showing it all. Besides your boys, do you really want lecherous guys looking at you?
Your great body is a gift for your husband.
Victoria
I've editing in response to the insulting remark that I insinuated that men cannot control themselves. Of course they can control themselves. Most of them exhibit extreme control when they are in this situation. Most women do not understand how men are wired.

Personally I don't think it's an issue of other women being "haters" - you don't need a string bikini for that to happen we women are ruthless to each other for a plethora of reasons. I laugh at the woman who said it was " ungodly, sheesh. Fundamentalists of all religions are so pushy. If you are comfortable in a bikini by all means wear one, but by comfortable take more into consideration than simply body image. If you can chase your kids, make a snack, get wrestled with and tugged on and not have string come undone or your left breast make an unexpected cameo then by all means wear it. I am a size 2 mom of an 18 month old and CAN wear a string bikini but I choose not too when I am with my daughter only because she pulls on my suit all the time and it's hard to build sandcastles when the DD's are threatening to fall out at any wrong move. I save my two piece fir trips without her and found a really cute non matronly tankini with a string style top because I simply found it more practical to play in. As far as the shaving issue shouldn't we be shaving for ANY suit? Body hair poking out of any swimsuit regardless of size is just unsightly and just as much cause for embarrasment as 2 more inches of stomach showing. Though I would take into consideration how your sons would feel if a strange man started hitting you in front of them and consider maybe a different style of bikini for that reason as well. I do not think it will scar them to see mom in a bikini at any point but if their friends and their friends parents are going to be a part of your day those times you really should make an effort to be mire conservative for simple consideration of their reservations and comfort level. Not saying you have to wear a one piece or a dive suit but a greater coverage bikini would be wise because if you make other parents uncomfortable they may be hesitant to accept or extend future invitations to your children. It's petty and stupid but unfortunately part of how society works. You will look excellent in anything you put on if you take cate of yourself like you do !

You are a mother, not a bathing suit model. Gi ve it up and get something
more age appropriate.

You need to ask yourself who you are wearing this teeny bikini for? Why would you want to expose so much of yourself for? What might be appropriate for an adult pool party might not be right for the beach with a lot of children around. You need to consider what reaction other children might have also. I am thinking of the expression MILF right now.

First of all, let me say that I am so jealous! I haven't been able to sport a bikini in years!! I wish I had to worry about comments about things like this! :)

That being said, I have to agree with some of the other comments. I think a swimsuit with a bit more coverage should be worn around children and maybe save the teeny bikini for your husband or the beach with your own friends. I mean-- do you really need to wear something so small around children that you need to shave your pubic area for?? What's the purpose in that? And ask yourself, would you have liked your mother to run around in front of your friends dressed like that?

There's a time and a place for garments like that....playdates with small children isn't one of those places, in my own personal opinion. But like I said, kudos to being able to wear something like that!!!!

Lynsey

Lynsey

Not appropriate at all. NOT AT ALL. Your oldest is 9 and he's at that age where he's going to be starting puberty soon, if he hasn't already. That means his friends are too. Wearing that suit in front of pre-pubescent boys is just asking for all sorts of trouble. You can still rock a bikini, just get one with a little more coverage. I'd avoid the string bikini. You can find a lot of sexy suits that aren't quite so revealing. Save the sexy suit for when you're out with just your husband.

I think that if you feel comfortable in a bikini, you should wear one.
I am thin and even though I could get away with wearing one, I personally never would because for some reason I feel naked. I can't explain it, especially since I've been known to take a late night skinny dip, but no one can see me.
I wouldn't refrain from wearing a bikini because someone said you could "harm" your children.
My son was raised by me and his older sister. He's seen us in our bras and panties. He comes into the bathroom when I'm in the shower. He doesn't think anything of it. He's seen my bare butt in a hospital gown that wasn't closed in the back. He doesn't flip out.
It's been my experience that boys who've never seen a woman in their underwear or a bathing suit are the most curious.
My son has a friend who can't wait for the bra and panty ads in the Sunday newspaper. He oohs and aahhhs over them. My son is like, "Dude....they're just boobs." His mother NEVER let her sons see her not completely covered up. To me, his fascination with not being able to wait to see a girl naked worries me more.
But, that's just my opinion.
If your sons say something to you about THEM not being comfortable with you not being covered up, that might be different, but I don't agree that you are harming them.
Again, just my opinion.

Enjoy your summer.

Wow, you've gotten a lot of responses. I go with the modest approach to dressing, whatever the age, whether mom or not, whether around children or adults. (still cute! but modest)
I think you should ask yourself questions like these...

*If there was a different, fit, young, sexy woman at the beach/pool wearing this swimsuit around my boys, how would I feel about them looking at her (especially the 9 year old)?

*My son's going to be a teenager soon...how would I feel about his girlfriend wearing this swimsuit around him?

If either of those thoughts causes you concern, then don't wear the suit around them.

Honestly, that friend is probably just jealous and wishes she looked as good as you! I'd wear it!

You are teaching your boys that woman can embrace their bodies. If you feel beautiful and powerful than forget what one prude friend says. If this was Europe you would be wearing it with out the top and no one, including yours boys, would think anything of it!

Wear the teeny tiny bikini around your husband on a little get away weekend. Or model it for him after hours. He will LOVE it!
Wear something more modest around your boys, their friends and their parents. Not because it bothers your boys, but because what their friends or those parents may say.
You need to keep the respect of your sons without putting them in an awkward position.

P.S. Since you revised your post about being a single mom and can't wear the teeny bikini for your husband, I will revise mine a little. The fact that you are single means that you need to think about the message that all friends, neighbors, acquaintances will receive by wearing a tiny swimsuit. People talk. And then people talk some more. As a mom, you need to consider that---even if you have a very fit body. I teach aerobics. I am 47 years old and wear a size 4/6. (So contrary to all the people who said your friend is probably "fat and jealous", I am small, fit and respectfully disagree.)
One day while getting ready for work, I was chasing after the kids outside wearing my black running skort and work-out top. I cannot tell you how many versions of that story went thru the neighborhood. My kids overheard some comments at school and were mortified.
You will do what you want....but I think a single mom needs to be more careful than a married mom. Not that it's right...but that's the way it is.

I'm not saying don't wear it, but when boys begin puberty they can have feelings when seeing a woman's body.......even Mom's. Your nine year old is probably in puberty. Later he will think you are disgusting, but right now he may get sexual feelings seeing you in a bathing suit. I don't think it will harm him, but if it were me I'd be a little bit careful.

However, if this is your style and you think it is appropriate enough to wear, then go for it. If it were me I would probably save it for parties with no children or vacation with my husband alone... but that's me. I totally support your right to wear your very tiny bikini.

Wear your bikini when your boys are not around, for the mere fact that you want to set an example, your older son hormones might be starting to rage, and being a single M., you will more likely be flaunting with no husband restriction. Boys will be boys even if they are your sons, and curiousity and visual stimulation is not what they want especially from you.

Hahahaha We talk about this all the time in our house. My boys are 6 and 9 almost 10. We always see moms that are less then Modest at his school. And I ask him what he would think if I dressed like that. We laugh at the indiscretion of the parents who arrive with their children and look like they’re in the market for action. Sometimes I threaten him that I will wear some short shorts and do the Raccoon eye make up and pick him up that way. We love it.

Your sons are at an age where they are learning to respect women, If it is a very sexy suit. Respect your sons and use board shorts or a cover up when they are around. A little modesty can go a long way, Really isn’t a big deal to cover up a little.

It will depend on your sons. I have noticed that some boys have very ridgid rules about how they want their moms to dress and represent themselves in public. I had a cousin who had breast implants after her last son was born.. In about 5th grade her eldest son told her, he wanted her to wear more clothes . A year later he asked her why she "had implants" and was "there a way to get them out". Apparently he started becoming aware of the impact her body had on his friends and other men. She went and had a reduction.

Our nephew is in 3rd grade this year. He asked SIL "what are you wearing to school today" (there was a parents event at his school earlier this year) she said she was not sure. He told her "not to wear any tight clothes" and to "wear pearls"! Who knows how he came up with these rules?

She says she wears a one piece when they have guests at the house cause her boys do not like her showing her "body parts." Interesting, both of these homes are households with only boys..

There is something nobody has touched on and I'm not sure you're thinking about. When my kids were your kid's ages, they would reach and grab and we would run around and play. Are you sure that a suit that small will actually stay on you whey your five year old wants something from you. My kids always grabbed....even modestly dressed I would have problems at times! Being naked on the beach is much worse than being skimpily dressed!

If you are a confident momma, that is a good thing! Do what makes you feel good about yourself... over time, we all lose the ability to look good in a bikini. I'm jealous! :-P Flaunt it while you can and enjoy!

My son is 11 and I don't think anything about wearing a bikini in front of him. He has also walked in while I was changing and seen me in bra, etc. He thinks nothing of it. He is at an age that he notices girls but he is very open with me and never said anything like geesh mom, don't wear that, etc. I have never thought about harming my boy in anyway by the way I dress.
However this being said, I do not wear my little bikini in public. Only at home sunbathing or with family/ friends at a private pool etc. My children and I talk about modesty and dressing appropriately for others often. We are water loving people in my house so we are at pools, waterparks, indoor waterparks, etc. ALOT. I usually wear a tankini or my one piece there not because I am ashamed of my body (I am a size 4) but for modesty reasons and also because I learned with having little kids (my youngest is 4) they have a tendency to pull where you don't want them to (LOL!) and it is easier to be exposed in a bikini.
If you are confident and comfortable in your bikini by all means wear it. It will not harm your boys. I agree with the comment about when they are alittle older.... they will still be fine but their friends are another story!
Hope this helps :)

I feel like I must be from another planet compared to the women who wrote some of these posts! You are a Mom sure but you're also a wife, woman and apparantly pretty good looking in a bikini. Why do these different parts of you make people nervous or incite negativity. I have NEVER worn a bathing suit that I did not have to shave the bikini line for and I am not a hairy person. If your comfortable and happy that is the most important example you can set for your boys. There is a place for this kind of thing, the beach or pool. Now if you were wearing it to the school BBQ then I'd feel differently. Some women need to lighten up and stop the judgement, I mean really, some of you sound like your from the 1800's. Enjoy the fact that you work hard for something that's important to you and enjoy your summer!

Congratulations on having that body after 3 babies. I have to say I'm torn. I don't think anyone should judge someone based on a swimsuit, of all things. I also think if I had that kind of body I would walk naked through the frozen foods section at Kroger. Then there's the part of me that thinks I would be a little worried about my 9 year old's friends or someone else's kids seeing more of an adult girl body than their parents wanted them to. I think it's one of those things you judge by situation and maybe keep a cute cover up nearby.

My bigger question is this: how do you keep from getting razor burn, because I've searched 20 years for the secret?!

Oh goodness gracious. I have gotten a comment or two like that before. I am careful in what I wear meaning I don't run around the house in a tiny silk lingerie robe ...its floor length, thank you very much.

I once had a relative tell me that I shouldn't be "dressing that way" around my boys because it wasn't "healthy".

I'll tell you whats not healthy.

Pretending to be someone else.

I have bikinis that I wear all the time, around all my boys, and they never bat an eyelash. Their minds don't work that way yet, and frankly, I don't want them to be so sheltered that when they DO see a woman in a bikini, or low cut blouse or something, that they all flip out like they've never seen a feminine lady before.

Don't change who you are just because you have boys. They need to see you being yourself, and loving your life.

Otherwise you might as well just blindfold them for the rest of their lives.. cut off the cable and the internet, and don't take them out in public too much....

When they get older and start having friends around... it might be a good idea to throw a sweater on over your halter top or something - simply to avoid embarrassing any of them... but other than that I think its fine.

Silly!

Well I live here in Huntington Beach and all the moms wear bikinis regardless of how old their children are. We are in a beach town and that is the norm. I have two sons, much younger than yours at 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and I wear bikinis to the beach, the river, swimming at grandmas, etc. I too work out very hard to achieve the body I want, and no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot wear! Wear it, rock it, and since you are a grown woman, you can make the decision what's best for you and your children. It is not going to scar anyone by you wearing a bikini-seriously!! And to say you're boys are looking at you sexually is disgusting and soooo not true!

I say this, and I'm coming from a family of Brazillians, if you got it flaunt it, to an extent... If you had an older daughter, would you allow her to wear it? If the answer is "no" then it is most likely inappropriate to wear "in front" of your children... Not saying it's inappropriate for you

You feel confident and comfortable and that is what matters. You are not setting a bad example for your boys. You obviously care about whats best for them or you wouldn't be concerned about this in the first place. I say go have fun with your family and get a great tan...just don't forget the sunscreen :)

as long as your behaviour is appropriate than it is fine. I am usually very tiny, not so fit in the gut right now. But I still rock my bikinis, in my home, and would probably do so at a beach. Maybe not the neighborhood pool.

Funny story, last day of kindie, my friend and I were hanging out by her pool, suposed to be just us, she went to the get the boys, and came home with most of the whole class. I was not only in a bikini, but it was a skimpy top and g-string to boot. Now I kept my butt planted for most of the time but it was embarassingly funny. They still call me June Cleaver in a G-string to this day. Yes it joked about again recently as we willbe having a fifth grade graduation swim at my house. Yes I will be in bikini, but a little more covered than six years ago.

I see no problem with the body.

I had to laugh when I read some of the other posts... Especially one that said it was "ungodly" to wear a bikini.

Wear the bikini and have fun! :)

Just make sure that there isn't a little kid within an arms length because we all know how little kids seem to love to pull down bikini tops! Lol

Sorry, but I find that statement rediculous. Your boys don't see you as a sexual object, so don't worry about it. Sheesh, some people have nothng better to do - LOL!

My guess is that whoever told you your suit was inappropriate is just jealous she can't wear a tiny bikini herself. You will not scar your boys by wearing a bikini around them, no matter how skimpy. Now, if you're still wearing it around them and their friends by the time they hit puberty, they might be totally grossed out by some comments their friends make, but you've got a ways to go before that happens! Enjoy your body and your bikini!!

Well, I am a very modest person and I think some things are best kept at home and for that special someone. The first time my kids saw a thong at the pool they followed that person around pointing at her butt and laughing at it. It was hilarious and I didn't do anything about it. My daughter now wears anything she wants, she thinks she looks sexy and is very comfortable. She never understands why she often gets sent home from work to put on proper clothes.

You live in San Francisco and I am sure you have a lot of people running around in a lot less than you are thinking about wearing at the pool or beach. I could not wear something that tiny. I truely think if I was going to be playing at the beach with the kids I would wear a good fitting top and something like boy cut bottoms so I could run around and play and not be concerned about parts being exposed. If I were home with my hubby I would wear the tiny, revealing bikini.

So, in my opinion, I would go more modestly dressed. You, however, are in a totally different situation. I can't say what you should or should not do, only what I would think about what you asked and what you described.

Whoever told you that is full of it.

If you have the body, GO FOR IT and be proud.

I've been told some of my things are inpapropriate but I'm not going to not wear something that does rock on me just because someone is trying to get to my self esteem.

Enjoy your body

PS to the person who asked about razor burn........I buy some special shave creme from "pajama Party" which is similar to Pure Romance type items. It's great.

I really hate immodesty--there's definitely a difference between immodesty and sexiness, you can be attractive without baring it all. When I see a bunch of cleavage or mini skirts I feel like girls have something to prove. I want to be respected, not stared at.

A swimsuit will expose nakedness and I have seen some men and women defending themselves that swimsuit will cover important parts.

We think that if we get on a swimsuit, our genitals are covered and we are clothed. God says no, you don't just cover your genitals. You cover the thigh. Plus the swimsuit shows off the form and the figure, and is not shamefacedness. It doesn't flow. It is not long. It is not modest.

Glorify God with your body. Do not allow your body to be on display for the whole world to gaze upon. If you do, you are not glorifying God. You may be glorifying yourself, and you will be leading others into sin.

There is nothing God-honoring about bikinis and much that is gratifying to the flesh: for men to leer and for women to show off their bodies. Scripture calls us to live and dress modestly, not to gratify the flesh. It calls us to do everything to the glory of God: wearing bathing suits that are designed to cause men to lust and women to publicly display their bodies is the opposite of glorifying God.

This is not setting a good example for your children and your boys. You are not making a good choice by doing this. My friend is a personal trainer and has a stunning body and she too wears tankinins that cover up or a One Peice when her children are around. Its the right thing to do!

Once I was married I just didn't like advertising any more. You might be in great shape, but there's a whole lot of people who let all the flab hang out and it's just gross. Bloated out bellies and 'muffin top' is the cute little phrase for the fat that over flows over the top of the low rise pants. You need to be about 15 lbs underweight to look good in those pants but they don't care. Some have no shame. There are people who look like a sow nursing piglets and to see that in a bikini? They must go through a fortune in sunscreen covering all that flesh. Just my opinion, but the right one piece suit is SO much sexier that practically bare naked.

if you have the body to wear it WEAR IT !!!!!!
i don't think is anything wrong if your kids see you wear it.

WEAR IT AND ENJOY IT! I don't think there is ANY shame or ANY thing wrong with wearing a tiny bikini. I am a very open person and even though I don't have my "prepregnancy shape" back I look really good (well thats what I get told :) I feel you should wear what you want... If your boys say something or you feel they are uncomfortable talk to them! I know at least your nine year old will voice/show his opinion and I am sure you can explain! I don't feel you would harm them! I am smiling right now writing this bc I feel that maybe you get it! MOMS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO COVER UP :) My husband loves it when I wear cute little outfits (not play lol) and show a little skin! Reminds him of before we had kids! I tried the whole covered up look...eh... I hated it and will do what I want! I think your friend might be a little jelous... Congrates on a great bod after having 3 kids :) Hope you enjoy that itty bitty bikini!

all my bikinis are tiny. yes, i have girls, but i don't think i would think twice if i had boys. and i am not fit, just skinny, but do not like one piece anything. so string bikinis for me.

As a mother of 4 with many more years of life experiences than you have, I would suggest that your friend is doing you a favor by being honest with you. It does sound like your suit is inappropriate for any mother - in good shape or not. You can save your suit for times when you might be vacationing as a single adult, but you're sending the wrong message as a mother of 3 young boys. It's wonderful that you work hard at maintaining your body, but it will still be there with a suit that's a little more modest and doesn't scream "look at me".

So I've read some of the other comments and do you guys have any idea what your children watch on TV. I guarantee they have already seen people wearing them before. I SAY WEAR THE BIKINI!!! If you work out and look good in it who cares if you have kids. And I'm pretty sure your kids won't care what you wear to the beach. It's the beach for goodness sake have some fun while your out there.

Hi K.,
Is this about your boys, or your friend's own discomfort with your choice of clothing?

As a lover of travel and art, I have no problem (and have seen many times) seeing a lot of skin in public. I've seen plenty of moms in small bikinis; or even topless around their kids in the US and abroad. I also plan on "exposing" my boys to the great artists and art museums of the world, which are FULL of T&A.

If a woman is wearing a business suit, but acting like a slut: she's doing more harm to her sons than a woman in a bathing suit, and acting like a lady.
t

Ditto... if you can still rock a bikini... why on earth not???

Kids don't think of their parents sexually. They just don't. I mean, try and think of YOUR parents sexually. Eeeeeew. So it's not going to damage them. You're just mum. And a mum feeling good about herself, which is a GREAT thing to model.

No, wearing a bikini around your boys will not scar or psychologically damage them. I think it all comes down to your pride and comfort in your body. If you feel comfortable in a bikini, then wear it, if a one piece is more comfortable than go for that and if you prefer topless then go for it (as long as it's legal on the beach you're at :D) Whatever you wear, wear it with pride.

I think that as moms we teach our children what is acceptable; we set the standards. If you would not want your sons looking at other women or teenaged girls in a bathing suit like yours, then you should not wear one. If you are fine with them seeing other women like that, then go ahead. Just remember, you are teaching them how a woman should dress, behave, and even talk.

It's great that you're so in shape. But just because you CAN do a thing, it doesn't mean you SHOULD do a thing. Like drinking in front of the kids, etc etc etc.....I wouldn't. You do have three young men to answer to. Do you really want to look back at photos of this bikini when your boys are adults? Think about it. Good luck!

First, how open about nudity are you at your home? Some parents dont' cover up and let their kids see them naked. If you are casual about nudity, this suit shouldn't be a shocker to your kids. How will they feel about the suit? If they are uncomfortable or embarrassed to see you in it, then I would not wear it. It's possible that as the boys get older, that sort of thing would be embarrassing and they would not want their friends to see you in something so revealing, but your boys are not teenagers yet.
The fact is that at the public pool or beach, they are probably seeing other women, STRANGERS wearing suits that are no different from this.

was it your fat ugly friend who told you this by any chance?

There is nothing wrong with a tiny bikini. As long as you are acting appropriate in is, there should be no problem. Since I assume you have no plans to get drunk, dance on a table top or hit on men, I think your friend is seriously overreacting. Wear it and enjoy.

.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I have two kids and I'm so proud to wear a bikini. I am small and very fit and I pride myself in the fact that I can wear a little bikini and look good. Sounds to me like your friend is JEALOUS and just wishing she looked like you. So be proud and wear that bikini!

I think what is most important is what your kids think or feel. Do they notice? Have they commented? Or have their friends said anything? Congrats on taking great care of yourself. It's not always easy with three small children! But if it is an issue of concern with your boys, maybe save that great swimsuit for adult time!

I say, go for it. The most important part is to role model to your kids that you are healthy & fit! You got into that suit by working hard! Trusting that the suit is not too revealing but enough to show your boys that mom's can be
STRONG in body and mind. Congratulations!

I envy you for having a good bikini body. Don't worry about wearing it in front of your sons. It's fine for them to see bodies. You don't want them to be unaware of how bodies look and the differences between them. Plus, they look at you like their mother and it doesn't matter what you wear. And you are a good role model for keeping in shape and staying healthy. They should be proud. Don't let some one scare you. Sometimes people can be so prudish or maybe even a little jealous. Have a great summer.

Tell your friend where to go. If you have a body that allows you to wear a bikini - go for it. I wish I could get back into one. That is absurd...

If you're comfortable, I wouldnt worry. My guess is that your friend is probably jealous.

Although I think you should wear whatever you want and would feel good in, from the description you give the suit sounds a bit trashy, mom or not. I guess I am just considering what I would think if I saw someone in something similar to what you described, and i would think it was trashy whether they were 19 or 39. Just my two cents and don't mean to be rude- just no other way I could phrase it. Everyone has their own opinion.

That's freaking ridiculous. If you look great in it, go for it and enjoy. Your friend is probably jealous.

If you got it & look good in it & u r comfortable then wear it! Any chance this "friend" is unhappy w/ her own looks? I mean really! Just because we have kids doesn't mean we shrival up & become these unattractive toads!! I have a 12 year old son a 3 year old daughter & a 7 month old & u better believe I'm working on fitting back into my bikini!

Dear K., I agree with your friend. I'm sure you want to show off your body but it is not right in front of your boys. Maybe tanning in your backyard or if you go away without the children.... sorry. Mary

I say wear it!!!! I would if I could. I am wearing a bikini this year though, but one with a skirt. Maybe next year I can wear one like yours....maybe that will motivate me to work out. :-)

But, yeah....definitely wear it.

I say congrats to you on being able to wear a bikini. Now having said that. the place for a bikini of that type might not be the swimming pool with a lot of little kids and perhaps other moms/dads around. I would look for something a little more covering for the times your swimming with the boys and wear that one for my husband. anything that you have to "shave" to wear might just be too low cut and sexy to have on around kids.

on what grounds is it inappropriate???

Kudos to you!

I still have stretch marks from my 4 kids...lol.

Show off your bod Lady. Your friend is just jealous because she cannot wear it.

I grew up in Ca and going to the beach is a way of life...so being around all body types in bathing suits is not anything new to me. I also grew up with parents who were often seen naked in my house...when we were little of course, so my opinion might be more liberal!

My feeling is that at this age you are fine to wear whatever you wish...I think that you might feel differently one day when the boys are around 15-17 and have friends around, because lets face it when you are looking at someone in a bathing suit you are looking at everything...but until then I say wear what you feel comfortable in sister...isn't that the most important thing?

Hello first of all how the hell do you do it???? i use to weigh 110lbs and looked fine in string bikinis. now i have love handles even though i have lost weight and stretch marks. what are the secrets. as far as what you wear to the beach or anywhere, i would speak to your kids see how comfortable they are. if they are comfy no reason that you shouldnt be out there showing off what you got. as long as you arent taking other womens men or being a hoochie you should be comfy. i would only worry about the kids. do what you want if they feel fine with it. you are an adult and looking good, so go for it, find a nice man while you are at it LOL bottom line is check with your boys. they are who you should answer too for now. take care and enjoy the summer with or without the bathing suit. its not like it is a thong with star stickers for nipple covers or something. ppl just get jealous, hell im jealous just thinking about it but whatever i use to wear them. i still would if i could look good still. LOL and ppl are judgemental about things weather you have kids or not certain ppl are going to think it is trashy certain ppl arent going to care. you arent harming anyone looking good as long as the kids are okay. anyway take care good luck. bye

Wear it. That is ridiculous that she said that to you. She is probably jealous. There is NOTHING wrong with wearing a bikini you are comfortable in. I plan to wear bikinis until my body says no more! I TOTALLY agree with Alicia.

Wear it! You will make me insanely jealous that you can wear it, but hey, you can rock a bikini, go for it! :)

Wear whatever you are comfortable with, your sons will be exposed to folks in all sorts of clothing throughout their lives, you will not harm them in the least.

I personally think that one pieces or a not so teeny bikini look better on most people. But I completely agree that it will help to desexualize women to growing boys if it's a normal occurrence to see mom in no clothing or a bikini. If all they see are muumuus on mom of course they're going to start noticing a woman with big fake boobs in a string bikini! And yes if you look that good after having kids I think there's no shame in showing off what you have! Married mothers deserve to look good and be appreciated too! My husband would love it and not care who looked at me, he would be proud. Showing is not sharing!

wear what you want, your friend is probably upset because she can't wear it HATER!!!...who says that moms can't be sexy...

Hi there. In my own personal opinion, if you have to shave off of the top to wear it, then it's too small. There are tons of cute and sexy bikinis or other types of swim suits that are more mom appropriate and classy. I like the tankini for example. It'll still show off your rockin' bod, but won't be an open invitation for every male creature from your sons' ages on up to be staring/drooling/tripping over their own feet and in general embarass and anger your sons.

Model it for your kids, ask their opinion. Put on the suit, sit on a chair, lay on the couch for a 10 seconds, are they okay with it? Ask for the truth. No matter what they decide, you can take it.

I don't think you should have to dress extra Mommy-ified by covering up more b/c you're a Mom, (doesn't that sound like punishment?) but that dressing nicely or appropriately shows respect for yourself. So there shouldn't be a double standard for teens, single, or married women, but whoever you are you should decide what is right and do that. I wouldn't wear a bikini except on my honeymoon, lol so I wouldn't do it but not b/c I'm a Mom of boys as much as I think that's a little to skimpy for me and that's my standard.

If you got it, flaunt it!!!!!! If you work hard then show off your hard work!!!

if u got THE BODY then show it off, but one thing make sure u get the same bikini but in a medium size appropiate for a mother of 3!!!

Oh my goodness, why???? Showing it off to who???Husbands and daddies spending time at the beach/pool with their families??? It's great that you work out and are in great shape. But I am sorry I just do not think it's necessary IMO.

I'm a beach girl and I say as long as your bum or boobs aren't hanging out of it, wear it! You've earned it! Just think: when you're 50, 60, 70 you'll wonder why you didn't :) I still wear a bikini, but now I'm really into the hipster bottoms; suits my figure better and provides a bit more coverage that Iike.

Good for you staying fit and in shape. I wish I could sport a tiny bikini with the confidence that you can!!!
Just my opinion here....if you say it is "very tiny" bikini then even you think it is small. If it shows off more of your body then you would want your 9 year old son looking at on another girl then maybe your girlfriend is right! Your setting the example as his mother for what he should consider appropriate in the future with girls and modesty.
Maybe if you were going to an all adult event where your kids wouldn't be joining you, you could wear it. Just not on a family outing!

I think that you should be able to wear it! If after having 3 kids and working hard at getting your figure back to where you can feel proud of everything you've been through, you should be able to flaunt it!
I myself have three kids and worked hard at getting my figure back and although I wouldn't feel confident in wearing a two piece(stretch marks-blah! lol) I do feel more confident in even wearing a one piece or tankini after going from a size 18 to an 8!
Besides, its a bathing suit for god sakes! Its different from wearing skimpy clothing on a daily basis being a parent. Its supposed to show skin. Besides, just because we're Moms does not mean we can no longer feel sexy and good about ourselves!
That's my two cents! :-)
Good Luck with whatever you decide!

Laura :-)

I do think you need to be careful around young children. I have 13 children and I have learned that they are influenced one way or another by everything we say and do.

You work hard all year round to have a good body ... so you should be able to show of your body for a couple months ..... wear that bikini and ignore your friend .... for once shes wrong

Screw you jealous friend! Rock it if you got it! Because really people that have no business even wearing shorts wear bikinis....I would only say it's wrong if it was a thong...otherwise go for it!

you go girl your friend need to lighten up ,you deserve to show off your new body .Heve to given it any thought that she might be jellous of you because you have 3 babies and can pull off that sexy bod.xox holla,,

i say if you have a body for a bikini then go for it! you work hard to stay fit & healthy, you should wear what you like. some of the stuff these teenage girls wear are much more revealing then a bikini a well deserving mom of 3 is wearing at the beach or pool. Some people are jealous & will try to make you feel bad becuase they feel bad.

I think its great you work out and have a great body - however its my opinion that covering up a little is a bit more classy and respectable as a mom. We aren't teenagers anymore and while it may seem old school I personally - good body or not don't want to be chasing after my boy 3/4 naked and YOU KNOW everyone out there is looking at you - men and women, so is that the attention you really want? How do you think your boys feel with that attention on you? You can still be sexy and proud of your bod in a bathing suit that is respectable and suitable...I personally feel that no matter how great your body - at a certain age/status in life to show it off too much is just shouting for the wrong attention. Sorry if it sounds harsh...Athleta has some very cute bathing suits for sexy sporty in shape women without looking tacky.

After reading through your respones, it looks like it's about 50/50...so much for advice! ;) Actually, it's a hard question, there are many times I wish I could just look good enough for a bikini again, but I keep thinking about the fact that you took time to ask this question. Sooooo, I'm thinking that you already have reservations or are maybe considering your friend's point of view. If you see her point, but just really don't want to cuz you look hot (I get that!!) maybe you should reconsider the bikini, or at least just wear it when alone or with friends!

I wouldnt wear it but i guess you got it flaunt it.by the way how old are you and did husband think

K., one question -- what are your goals in wearing something that is going to be considered by others in the pool or beach area as sexy in a tiny bikini with your children that are of a young and impressionable age?
I have daughters that like you have taken care of their bodies but none that have a need to dress like this with children. It seems that whatever you are trying to do will be an embarassment to them and their friends and will certainly stimulate the imagination of any young boy which sounds to be your goal. There are bikini's out there that cover a bit more than the tiny ones do and might be considered.
I am unclear why you felt the need to say you had no man in your life at this time, but maybe your boys are of an age that they should be spending more time with one and you with friends of your own to proudly show off our body. With many swimmers in the family I know that even a one piece suit can be very sexy and very proudly worn to showoff someones body.