Is Your DH Handy Around the house...vent

Think we should start a support group with this heading!!! yeah its not unreasonable to be miffed beyond belief. I just do it myself or hire a guy, and when my husband gets mad about it I remind him about the 26 times he tried fixing X or Y, he pipes down and agrees with me and hands me the Card to pay the handy man. We stay married, he stays alive, and we stay sane.

You're not alone. I am more handy than my husband, but I never want to do the work. Luckily, we have a good friend who works for cheap :)

Cement, why haven't I heard the use of cement? A mailbox will always lean and fall over unless you pour concrete around the post.

Um yeah, both my husband and I are handy. He is at Lowes at the moment buying god knows what, we finished fixing the fascia while I put up the Christmas lights. When he gets back we are wiring the whole house fan. :)

He keeps all the tools on his work truck.

Oh heavens, you're married to Dr. Huxtable whose wife would ask the kids to go watch their dad and keep him from killing himself!

I'm sorry, but if I were you, I'd hire someone to do it while he's at work, and he can figure it out himself when he realizes that the mailbox isn't leaning over anymore.

I'd eat canned beans so I could pay for the project to get done before I'd go through all this stuff you're going through!

Dawn

Well, if this is any consolation, my husband when I met him could not even use a screwdriver. Any repairs done on the house have been done myself, by my dad, or someone we have hired. All the tools in the house are mine. There are some things that are simply too small of a job to be hired out so I end up doing those, its just a fact of life here. Personally, I think he is too lazy and not ambitious enough to learn how to the handy stuff around the house. In your case, I would hire a handy man, here in California, handymen do not need a license if the job is under $500. It might be worth it to collect a few jobs and hire somebody out.

I am very fortunate that my hubby is quite handy around the house with electrical, putting things together, plumbing, etc. He has saved us tons of $ by doing it himself.

If your hubby is not handy around the house, find a local handyman to do the little jobs for you. It would probably be worth it to you in the long run due to frustrations it builds between you and hubby.

Now, my hubby is not patient. Our wrought iron fence needs painted and he just does not have the patience for it. SO, daughter's bf needs a job, he is very patient, he has painted our fence and done such a good job that the neighbors are now hiring him to paint theirs!

My ex wasn't too handy, and my spousal equivalent isn't very handy either. I am handier than either of them -- my dad taught me well. But for a mailbox I would just hire my handyman. He would charge about $30 to put one in, cement and all. Maybe you need to find yourself a good, local handyman. Ask around. The money you spend on him/her would be worth the price, because it would spare you all the aggravation.

My dearest is truly an outstanding spouse in many ways, but is NOT a handyperson (except for cutting things up with a chainsaw, which he apparently enjoys). But I am, so I do most of the actual fix-its around here. I will enlist his muscles and height sometimes to hold things while I operate a tool. And every once in awhile, he'll ask to use the hammer or drill, and surprises himself by feeling like a super-dude.

Sorry you had such an annoying and costly day.

It's not you. There are 2 types of men:
those that are handy w/their hands & can actually do the work
and
those that are not.
Having said that, it is great to have someone handy because you save $
But......it gets done on their time. ;)
My dad was handy, my hubby is handy but honestly if I want something
done I just would love to be able to call a handyman & get it done.
Would your hubby ever agree to this?
If not, then leave him to do things on his own, in his own time.
Tell him you are willing to help if he would like your help.
In the meantime.....salvaging your Sunday? The only thing that really helps is swallowing pride (which I hate!) and softly saying "Look, I know this whole thing turned into a debaucle but I would like to forget it & try to turn our day around. Would like to _______ (fill in the blank of something you'd both enjoy doing...a short jaunt somewhere)."
Be prepared, he may not want to. Ruffled feathers (yours & his) take time
If he doesn't, don't take it too hard. Read the comics for a laugh (laughter
helps my attitude), call a friend for a quick pick-me-up chat, let it go and
save it for another day.
Good luck sweetie. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!

Mine is the opposite. He will fix anything, and he usually does an excellent job at it. The downside is that it takes him FOREVER to do it because he reads all about how to do it, looks up on the internet, asks friends/family. Then tackles it. I am grateful because it saves us money, but all that time on weekends fixing this or that could be spent with the family sometimes. So it's a catch 22 on this subject for sure!

PS - my husband built our house - took him 2.5 years. He contracted out a few things like the roof, foundation, and drywall, but he did everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING. I thought I would die if we didn't move in before my son was 2 because he started before he was even conceived! AGH!!!!!!

I'm in your boat. I think most things I'd just hire someone, if it's easy and almost impossible to mess up, then you guys could do it together. It's just not worth the aggrevation.

Sounds like your hubby needs to stay away from 'handy' projects. My husband is also "mechanically challenged." However, when I say I want to do a project he seems to always want to jump in. I now kindly remind him that he is challenged in this respect and give him something else to do.
For the bigger projects, Groupon, living Social and Angie's list have had handy man offers for X amount of hours for $y. Angie's list seems to have the most & you can subscribe to get those offers, even if you are not an Angie's list member. I think the price is just a little higher for non members. However the prices are pretty good.
Maybe keep a running list of these projects.

Another idea. I had a neighber fix my fence in return for some home cooking. I brought him a brought him a big pot of beef stew, a tray of lasagna and homemade cornbread. I also wrote down how to freeze and reheat. He's single and we both left feeling like we got he better end of the deal.

Update: Angie's List in Tampa just came out with a Handy Man coupon today.
https://my.angieslist.com/thebigdeal/default.aspx?itemid=...

Some husbands just aren't that handy. It's a fact of life. No reason to toss him out or fight over it.
Just my opinion.
My friend's husband is a mechanic and he is a genius when it comes to taking motors or electronics apart and fixing them. Ask him to cut a piece of plywood that's 3ft x 4ft and an entire sheet of plywood becomes kindling.
They bought a new screen door and he ended up shimming the jams because he took the belt sander to them....
Sometimes it's best not to force a fit where one doesn't exist.
Literally.

I've been a single mom for many years and you'd be surprised at the things I can fix myself.
A friend of mine has a husband who is a firefighter for the state who gets called away for long periods of time on fires and she's installed garage door openers, painted the exterior of the house, put down wood floors and installed a new dishwasher.
My brother in law rebuilds engines. Any kind of engine...he can rebuild it. But, he hates that people assume he's an auto mechanic. He hates it when people ask him to put new brakes on their car or install a new clutch or transmission. It's like asking a dentist to perform a hip replacement.

Did you ever watch the show "Home Improvement"?.
That husband was "working" on stuff all the time, to his wife's dismay.
Not all women are great cooks and seamstresses, not all men are cut out for handyman duties.
I don't see a Sunday getting ruined over it although I totally understand your frustration.
If you know that every home project goes like this, fix stuff while your husband isn't around, save yourself the money and aggravation.
The money part isn't funny, but the friend I mentioned above and I have had many laughs over her "He-Man" tackling things. It is pretty comical. He's a fabulous husband in every other regard and he does try, God bless him.

It's not the end of the world.
Best wishes.

No, you are not being unreasonable. You have every right to be annoyed. I'm sorry you are out the $70 - I'm sorry your husband doesn't put his tools away - mine has a "general" tool box, a plumbing tool box and a wiring tool box - that's how anal is he!!! URGH!!!

He should have read the directions FIRST - or you should have before you bought it - and then bought everything that was needed THEN so there wouldn't be running around and trying to figure it out.

oh dear!! my husband is a GREAT handyman - which is a good and a bad thing!!!

I am GOOD at breaking stuff!! I've had people tell me I NEED to work for a company that sells "unbreakable" stuff and if I can't break it - then it's REALLY unbreakable!! LOL!!

The good thing about my husband being handy is that he is TOTALLY anal about it - he's an engineer so things get "done". The bad thing? Our house LOVES to cost us money!! For example - two years ago my bathtub faucet was leaking - I tell him - Bob, my faucet is leaking...it turns into a bathroom update because the leak wasn't just an outside leak - it was leaking BEHIND the wall too!! YIKES!!! So he ended up having to tear my bathroom apart - to the studs and rebuild it - he didn't do the floor - but that's okay!! :)

Bob CAN be a procrastinator on projects too....we have unfinished shelves in our den - for 11 years now...to the point where I want to hire someone to come in and do it!! (rot roh raggy!!)

My husband can be but hes a half-asser and does it when he FEELS its the right time. there are some things that I will nag about until he fixes it because I won't live in those types of conditions.

I am so sorry! My hubby is very handy, so I don't have this issue--but do you know of anyone that you could hire to come do these projects for you? Would your husband agree to someone else coming to do the work so he doesn't have to do it?

I would totally be annoyed just like you! Good luck!

M

How long have you been married? He sounds so much like my husband and I. This is just about how things go with us. He doesn't understand why I don't do some of the things myself. I learned a long time ago that I am USELESS at these so called "husband" jobs. Call me a cheuvenist. It's okay. I like my role as a woman! BUT, my husband isn't much better than me. He's always been the one to spend the money on the house. Yeah, he HATES that too. But we negotiate everything and the house falls on him. He has learned his limits and has most things done by a professional. BUT, he's managed to learn some things through the years too.

I have a daycare mom that actually installed her own nice windows! She's done doors and all kinds of things. Good for her. But around here...it should NOT even be tried usually.

Our house is like the cobbler's family.....we're the last repairs, the last seasonal maintenance for the entire neighborhood. But I can't complain too much, because my DH loves taking care of our elderly neighbors. & I enjoy taking them food plates & goodies....so it all balances out. :)

My DH can design, build, fix/repair anything & everything. He can fabricate from any & all products. He's a journeyman machinist by trade.....& a master of many more fields.

He cannot wipe his own .....(fill in the blank). He cannot put a single tool away. He cannot sweep up his mess. He cannot find his tape measure most days....& he owns at least 5. He drives me nuts.

This wkend he built a custom-designed bench for a friend. He used salvaged barn wood...which meant he had to put it thru the planer. The sawdust is all over our sidewalks & back porch. It's super windy here in MO & the sawdust is flying everywhere. & of course the dogs are tracking it in....

Immediately after finishing this project last night, he began on a Christmas idea that I want to hand out to my daycare families. Unfortunately, going from one project to the next - there was no cleanup in between. I am allergic to the wood which he's using for my project. It's now up to him to do all cleanup.....aaargh.

& where is he right now? He picked 2 cases of pears to take to his aunt! His tools & trash are still sitting out....with rain on the way.....:)

I applaud his creativity & technical abilities, but good grief....he's a slob!

Yikes... I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry! My husband was a carpenter for 12 years and still loves projects since he's a nurse now and doesn't get to do that type of work, so I don't have this particular problem at all. BUT everything he does has to be like commercial grade, industrial sturdy and aesthetic PERFECTION. Granted, it always comes out awesome and will last for 100 years, but it takes him a year to do it because he crafts everything by hand. So, there are TONS of things undone around my house because he doesn't have time or money to make it just the way it ought to be done. Sigh... So, I guess these are two opposite ends of the handyman spectrum... Maybe we should smoosh our husbands together and get the perfect handyman? :)

My husband, bless his stubby little fingers, is not handy at home.
We had a plant growing in the front entryway and I commented that it needed something to climb on, thinking nice redwood fan shaped trellis. The next thing I know, I hear pounding and go out to see what hes doing. To my horror he has found some rusty old ugly bent gigantic nail and pounded it into our nice wood siding and has tired the plant up with white kite string.
Next we had a plant, in the same front entryway, that kept falling over. I said, we need a stake to hold it up, thinking again, nice redwood gardening stake. Next thing I know, he has a piece of PVC pipe pounded into the ground and tied the plant to it with a blue shoe string. Oh thats real pretty now isnt it.......
But now we are moving and I will leave that all behind. The new house is fully landscaped and we WILL hire the yard crew who has been taking care of it for the former owners. Im smiling! (o:

I Feel For You! I mean it, may sound a bit strange, but I do. My husband is capable of doing but won't unless it's something he wants to do which isn't much. He has fixed furnances, AC, washers, dryers, hot water tanks but for everything else he couldn't care less, no matter what. Thankfully he at least can and does fix those things and it's saved us loads and thats why he does it, that and because he has an interest, but even then it takes him forever to get to it. Our dryer went out and it took him months before he'd look at it (we couldn't afford a new one) we had no hot water for six months when the tank went out and he didn't care that I was heating water for everything until he had to do it one day, then the next day he got a new tank. As for painting, repairing, putting up shelves, cleaning, yard work or anything else, forget it. It can be quite frustrating, especially since he's an engineer. And I realized after so many years that I've spoiled him because I did so much. And he'd always either not notice or say, "magic". As if some little elves came and cleaned or repaired or built or whatever. I can tell you many a story about the things he hasn't done (that I couldn't do) that was just ridiculous. We can't and never could afford to pay others to do the work. I have gotten help from my sister or brothers but that was years ago. No one wants to help when he won't lift a finger and just stands around watching everybody else do the work. My kids always helped and still do a lot of times. Don't know how I managed to marry someone who has no interest in such, since my whole family is just the opposite and even at times to the extreme opposite as they're always doing projects, I usually do too but not extreme . Well, anyway I feel for ya. Try not to let it rule your life, it's just not worth it. And I understand all to well the need to vent about it. I've learned with time to let it go and just deal with it, there's nothing I can say to change it, it's just the way he is. You can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

My husband is great at fixing anything and everything and has saved us thousands of dollars by knowing how to do things. Problem is, he has to be motivated to do it. But yes, he is handy.

We have had fights because of things that need done and he says he will get to it, but never does. I took out some iron work things from Southern Living at Home 18 months ago. They are STILL sitting on my island :).

Sorry but this would drive me insane.I have a fantastic home project,home remodel you name it he will fix it if he can't he will look it up to make sure it is done correctly since time is money & we don't liketo waste either it has to get completed right the first time.He has his garage it's set up to his needs not mine he knows where everythig is even if they are in tool boxes.I have my own tools he isn't allowed to touch they sray in my junk drawer for when I need them.Good ol directions they are meant with great purpose