Is This a Realistic Expectation?

Updated on October 20, 2011
A.S. asks from Schwenksville, PA
16 answers

My daughter is almost 8 months old and in day care for the last 2 months. When she started she would barely take a bottle. She now takes 3 per day (granted only 2=4 oz but still!!) She has been eating baby food and loves it. We have let her gum up some crackers and waffles, soft things at home
The day care wants up to start bringing in "table food " (they suggested steamed veggies and leftovers) for her because in order to move to the next room she has to be able to "completly feed herself", they move at 12 month-ish and when they can walk.
my son is 6 so I can not rembember when he could eat on his own (he is still pretty messy at times lol) ... but i want to say it was more around 2.

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So What Happened?

Just to add... she does try to feed herself now crackers, puffs things like that. I guess (and I should ask for clarifcation you are right) i am not sure how to make a healty meal out of what she can feed herself now.... we do let her experiment and I am not against table food at all... just not sure how much she can handle at 8 months

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I began giving my kids some table food at 8 months, introducing meats at 9. So, yes, by 12 months they should be eating all table foods, everything you eat, just in a softer consistency.

Now that I think of it, my son starting using a spoon at 7 months. Completely feeding themselves by 12 months is right on target. They should be drinking out of cups then too, if you ask me.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My boys were picking stuff up and putting it in their mouth at 7 to 8 months old...using a fork? i don't remember that...i think they were TRYING to use spoons around 1 year. each child is different.

Ask for clarification on HOW she is supposed to be feeding herself - with a fork or spoon or what?

But really - let her experiment with food!! her world is opening up!!

Good luck!

More Answers

★.O.

answers from Tampa on

I don't think it is appropriate for an 8 month old... maybe a 10-11 months old.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Wow... 12 months is young to move to the next room and to be able to feed themselves 100%. 15 months was when they started with our kids. I think feeding her table foods now is fine to get her used to it in small quantities. At 8 months she is learning about textures and will need to try things multiple times before it clicks that the combination of texture and taste are good. :)

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K.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

So I think the expectation that she feed herself by 12 months is realistic but I think 8 months is a early to start pushing you to table food. My twin daughters are 10 months old and in daycare and I just started bringing in table food for them most days. I still have baby food there for them in case I don't have anything to pack for them because you're right, you are somewhat limited if they have to feed themselves. I remember my son (who is now 3) being completely on table food around 10 months. My girls have been a little slower. Just 2 months ago they were just starting to pick up puffs but still eating baby food for their meals. I tried cut up bananas thinking that they were soft and easy to chew but they were too slimy to pick up. I think it unusual that your daycare would suggest this at such an early age. If she was 11 months old and about to move up in a month then that would be different but she still has 4 months to go. As far as what I pack for my girls now, for breakfast I usually pack a cut up a banana and heat up a frozen pancake and cut that up or I'll send in instant oatmeal or yogurt. They will feed them the oatmeal and yogurt. For lunch it's usually leftovers from our dinner the night before - little pieces of chicken, pasta, veggis (peas, carrots, sweet potatoes), mashed potatoes, applesauce, baked apples, rice. Again at my daycare, they have never made an issue of them having to feed themselves so I'm good to send in yogurt, applesauce, mashed potatoes - things that need to be eaten with a spoon.

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K.M.

answers from Norfolk on

We started my daughter on table food at 8 months and she fed herself things she could pick up. By the age of 1 year she should be eating everything you're eating. She could completely feed herself at about 1.5 years old. I think dexterity with a spoon or fork isn't there yet. She certainly could use a spoon or fork. My concern is if you sent her to school with something smooshy in a bowl like a mashed sweet potato, how much of it would she actually get in her mouth without any assistance at all. I would say this isn't an unreasonable expectation EXCEPT for the fact that you say COMPLETELY feed herself. My daughter had great dexterity with utensils but still required help to stay focused on her food and to be sure she got the food in her mouth. I would double check their expectation and get a very clear explanation. I would also ask what kinds of foods other parents bring in that allow a child at that age to be able to feed themselves.

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

I think it is. My son is almost 19 months and around 15 months finally wanted to utensil feed himself. He actually wouldnt' eat anyhting of texture(other than cookies,lol) until about 12 months. He would use his hands to pick up his food. I think a 1yo is still a baby and not at all a toddler. Not all babies want to eat adult food or can handle to texture in their mouths. What if she doesn't walk until 16 months? I think it's terrible to push babies to be older. I say let them do things on their own time. Why rush growing up? When my oldest was in daycare the infant room was seperated by a small wall about 2 feet high. Immobile babies on one side and walkers and crawlers on the other. I don't think the walkers left until about 18 months so it was early walkers. I am not sure thought since we left at 13 months and he was still in the infant room and walked. I would find a new daycare wich may sound extreme but that's me.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

My kids would have been stuck in that baby room for a long while. They were certainly not completely feeding themselves by 12 months. If we had to have them feed themselves at daycare, they would have gotten about 100 calories all day. Yikes! They were definitely eating table foods and trying to feed themselves with fork and spoon by a year, but I had to finish up every meal to ensure they got enough calories.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

12 months is young to be moved up out of a baby room into the toddler room. I am in Early Childhood and at one point worked in a preschool/daycare type setting. The baby room was for babies until about 15 months of age. That also depended on the child. They needed to feed themselves ( they were given forks and spoons but some ate with their fingers, no matter what they were given. They also needed to be very steady on their feet (not just walking). Check and see what age group your child will be moved up to. If she is going to be with kids that are already 2, then that might not be a good fit for her. The difference in 12-15 months is huge, the difference in 12-24 months is even greater!!

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L.L.

answers from Lexington on

We never used baby fodd or pureed food. Both of my daughters started table food at 6 months.We introduce all veggies and fruits before introducing grains/meats so right now my 9 month old eats green beans, peas, zucchini, summer squash, winter squashes (acorn squash, butternut squash, pumpkin, ect), carrots, sweet potatos, parsnips, and her most recent new food is avacado.

For veggies, I steam a bunch of them and put them in small containers in my freezer, and then I can pull them out as needed. I only cook for my youngest about every other week so it is not a huge effort on my part. (and this is SO much healthier than jarred baby food). Most fruit is soft enough you don't need to cook, just cut into chunks. Then just sit them in a high chair, put a couple chunks/peices of food on their tray and they will figure it out QUICKLY!

Finger foods for infants are great because then you can eat as a family, while they are feeding themselves you can eat too. And it is more convenient when you are out and about.

Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Oh no, 2 would be too old to start self feeding. Self feeding doesn't mean spoon feeding. She should be able by a year old to rake cheerios from the table and feed herself, use her "pincers" to pick up some items, and drink from a cup (not a travel sipper). Poking with a fork is easier than spooning up food but bother can be started by the time they turn a year old. She should already be able to pick up soft items and shove into her mouth, with some falling out. Good foods to start with are canned mixed veggies and canned fruit cocktail or other canned fruits. They're diced into small pieces to pick up and are soft to eat. Canned yams/sweet potatoes are good as well. Gerber Puffs or Wagon Wheels (veggie) are good too. Meats will come later. Micro/mini ravioli (rinsed) are good too. Just toss in a zip lock bag. Drained Spaghettios work well as she learns to use her spoon.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Our infant room was up to 12 months. The young toddler room was 12-24 months. While they said they should be able to feed themselves - what they really meant was to be making a good effort and used to solid foods. They still sat with each child in the high chair, offered them food, wiped their hands and faces and encouraged them when they needed help. They also worked with the kids with utensils when they were ready to move on from finger feeding. We never did jarred baby food so the transition for us was easy - we just did the same foods in coarser textures.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

One year is too young to expect a child to be "completely" feeding herself. It sounds to me like the day care is just pushing to move her to the new room, maybe so they can have an open slot in the infant room and get another customer? If she's expected to feed herself entirely, what does that really mean in their terms? Do they let kids eat unattended, or not well supervised? That sounds like a recipe for choking, to me. I'd have a serious sit-down with them about why they rush this and stand your ground about keeping her where she is if you feel that's the best place for her.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

It totally depends on the child. Some are great at 12months with feeding themselves and some are not. Our son was not - he wanted us to feed him. Our daughter was feeding herself table foods extremely young bc she wanted to be like her brother. 8-10 months! At 8 months I would give her tiny pieces of soft foods that we were already eating at dinnertime bc she wanted it so badly. We just let her experiment. We gave her all kinds of soft fruit and veggies and bread. I remember she just loved bread for a while.

S.M.

answers from Lansing on

Well, I would say 8 months, even 12 months is young to be completely feeing yourself. Maybe the daycare is going off her progress and are helping her along? I am a firm believer that kids will do things when ready, feeding, potty training, that kinds of stuff. To force it along only stresses them out! I would say encourage her, as I am sure you do, help her slong, but don't let the daycare make it some big issue becasue your baby is just learning and needs to be praised for her little effort!

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M.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

I just wanted to add that if my 16 month old son was only given things that he would completely feed himself independently (even now at 16 months), he would only have cheese, bread, cheerios, milk, and toddler Gerber snacks. No fruits or veggies except for the occasional bite of banana and no meat because he isn't interested enough in those items to pick them up and put them in his own mouth--they immediately get thrown on the floor. I suppose I could just let him go only eating whatever he chooses to pick up, but why would I want to? I'm able to get him to eat most fruits, veggies, and meats by feeding him with a spoon either baby food or what we're eating pureed in the mini chopper. My older son (4 years) was similar as a baby, but not quite so picky for so long. But they're all different. And now my 4 year old eats almost anything and seems much less picky than other kids his age. I think this is at least in part because we kept feeding him the good stuff even if he wouldn't eat it himself when he was so young and distractable. Or maybe it had nothing to do with us. But I do know that at 8 months old, my current son wouldn't take any solid food or even anything with lumps or too much texture without gagging horribly and sometimes throwing it up. So I guess I'm saying, I completely disagree with your daycare that every kid is ready at a certain age, particularly that young, to eat independently. And I did tell my child's pediatrician about his eating habits, and she also said that they're all different and her one child wasn't on to all regular food until 2. That supported my gut instinct not to push it too much. Every time I tried to push anything too hard when the kids were babies, having to do with food, sleep, whatever, it never worked, and eventually time took care of the "problem" on its own. I would hope the daycare is flexible with differences in children's development, but I have no experience with daycare so I can't offer an opinion on that front. Hope this helps.
M.

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