well, i would say the foods you are currently offering, other than the veggies, are processed foods high in sodium, fat, preservatives, ect, then compact that by the fact she is not eating much of anything else, she isnt getting the best nutrition.
i wouldnt be worried about her weight gain as long as her growing curve is good, its not about the percentage, its about not dramatically dropping. rather than weight, you should focus on incorporating better foods in her diet. honestly, if all she eats are those types of foods, you need to keep trying new things. lots of processed foods is way worse than a few bites of healthy choices.
about the milk, can i ask why you stopped breastfeeding? i know you work, but if you were able to BF for this long, could you have continued it? i hope it wasnt something your doctor said you had to do. if you are truly worried about her weight gain and nutrition, breastmilk would have been your best option. that way you know she is getting the proper nutrients and you can work on the foods with less worry. cows milk is in now way comparable to breastmilk, and as someone mentioned, too much milk leads to anemia. milk should not be her food source but milk make you feel full as if you have eaten. that may be the problem as well, her feeling as if she ate from the milk. also, the "struggle" at dinner is proaly increasing the problem since she is getting so much attention for it. try to make it not a big deal. and if you do find healthy things, like fruits and vegetables, make sure to keep offering them daily so you can guarantee she ate something good, and to expose her to as much as possible.
just keep trying healthy foods, maybe get some of those little kids cookbooks, some have kid friendly healthy foods or foods that look cute to kids, but if it as all possible, try to restart breastfeeding. there is no need for her to be on cows milk ever at all as long as you give yogurt and cheese for calcium. breastmilk is completely different, look inyo that, i would def think that would be your best option. good luck!!!