Is My Child Safe to Stay with a Depressesd Grandparent?

All I can say is that, just the THOUGHT of my kids coming to visit perks up my mom, so sometimes, those precious little ones, give people the will to live and be hopeful. But you are the mom and you should go with your gut. Good luck!

with your children you can never be too cautious. as long as there is someone with him at all times and he is NEVER alone with the kids. you are a better person than me would not risk my childrens lives. what if he has a breakdown or gets violent. leave your kids in safe hands not who is convient. additionally, if he was on his meds that would be different but he does not like to take them. you will not forgive yourself if anything happens to your kids. why put yourself in that situation?

I am a mental health professional.

The fact that you've said that your father in law was inpatient for a month or longer indicates that at one time, he was a danger to himself and/or others. I have no idea how long ago that was, and if that issue is still relevant. If it was years ago, I wouldn't consider it relevant. However, if it was recently, and he's not taking medication, there is no way I would let my children stay there. It would be for the welfare of both the children and their grandpa. While a short visit would be great and therapeutic to grandpa, a couple of days may be too much, and his symptoms may reappear.

Depression can result in a person having a loss of attention (decreased ability to supervise children), fatigue and also a quick temper. It's likely that at some point during the visit,regardless of how much he loves them and how much joy they bring him, he will tire and begin to have difficulty with all the energy that your children bring into the home. This is especially true for depressed people not taking their medication. It may be too much for too long a time without a break. Not knowing the grandpa and his unique situation, I'm taking the conservative route. If he feels he is up to it, and the grandmother is very willing and able to do most of the "work", including taking the children outside so grandpa can have some quiet time, it may go just fine.

In addition, your own children's temperaments are a factor in how well this goes. If your children have generally good temperaments, that will be a plus, but if they're hard to handle and prone to outbursts, it will be harder on grandpa and more likely to trigger some negative emotions.

Depression as I've experienced it gets help with feeling needed, wanted, and in the company of others. This weekend could be exceptionally helpful and theraputic for all members involved.

I wouldn't necessarily worry about safety, since grandma is there. I would worry about your kids seeing him in this state and not understanding why. They might think it is something they did and they are too young for you to explain otherwise. Not sure what I would do, but I would think it completely acceptable to say him taking his medication has to happen before the children are left there. It is a very simple step he can take and you shouldn't feel bad about demanding that, I would. Good luck.

I would let them stay. They might be just what he needs right now. That is unless he has done something to try to harm himself or someone else. Depression can mean a lot of different things. Spend a little time with him before your trip. Invite him over or go over there. Or talk with his wife about your concerns. Use your own judgement. I know people that have lived with depression all their lives and they are great with kids. Only you can make this call..........

I would talk to your mother in law. She is the one who knows him best. Be honest. Tell her the kids are looking forward to spending time with grandpa, besides it may help him. Then tell her you are concerned. She knows her husband better than anyone, and she loves those grandbabys and would never want anything bad to happen to them. She would be the best person. Also talk to your parents. Find out if they are willing to help if it is to much for your in laws. Give them something to fall back on. Then there is no obligation if it is to much. I know that my father in law was very depressed after heart surgery. Seeing his grand kids always gave him the motivation to push forward. They encouraged him to walk and walked with him, when it hurt to even draw a breath. Trust yorself!

Hi Carrie,

I understand where you are coming from. My mother has MS for 30 years and has been very depressed since that and my father passing away when I was 11. But to be honest with you she does just fine with my kids. The only thing I have ever noticed is that she may be alittle short sometimes. I don't think you have anything to worry about unless he has any suicidal tendencies. I was a nurse before being a stay at home mom so I dealt with alot of depressed people. I guess another question is how is your mother in law? Can she be fully responsible for them if need be?