Is My 12 Year Old Gay?

I would refocus your concerns if I were you. Gay, not gay, celibate, bisexual, monogamous, heterosexual, whatever. Those should not be your main focus right now.

What your son is, is unsupervised and undisciplined and dishonest. Whatever he will grow up to be, he will need to be honest and principled and truthful and respectful of others. And those qualities are what you should be helping him to develop right now as he approaches his teen years. Forget about what sex he will or will not be interested in later on in life.

Your son needs to know that he has lost all electronic privileges except for using a computer in the kitchen for homework when you or his dad is present, and his screen will be visible at all times. Most likely, some of the sites he visited were age-restricted and a boy who just turned 12 may have lied about his birthday to access them.

He disobeyed school rules, I'm sure. No school would tolerate sexual contact in the public bathrooms. So there's another loss of privileges. He should lose some freedom and independence and not be allowed to visit friends until he understands privacy and respect and modesty.

He lied to you. Another loss of privileges. He has lost your trust and will have to earn it back. He now is supervised like a 6 year old until he proves his word can be trusted.

Completely take "gay" off your list of concerns. Instead of telling your son "if you're gay it's ok", tell him "you showed us that you are not honest, trustworthy, reliable, or respectful". Teach him that as a responsible adult (driver, employee, member of a family, friend, student, etc), the qualities of respect, honesty and reliability are of utmost importance. If he can't find it within himself to value those qualities, he won't have friends, he won't be able to drive a car in just a few years, he won't be able to have a job. Remind him that he's almost a teen, and he can start working on his personal development right now. Teach him in no uncertain terms. And make sure that you're not trying to turn him into anything in particular: gay, straight, whatever. You're trying to help him become a decent human being. What path he takes later on (career, choice of partner, job, school, etc) will always require that he is a decent human being.

It doesn't really matter - but he needs to learn to keep his hands to himself.
As a minor - he can't give consent to sex (regardless of whoever he's interested in) - and he needs to know this..
He needs the continuing sex ed conversation as well as some learning about respecting himself and others.
You need to keep him busy and involved in activities so he hasn't got a lot of spare time on his hands to get himself in trouble.
And frankly - he should worry just a bit about the kind of reputation he's going to get if he's out there looking for sexual activity at 12 yrs old.
Other parents are not going to be thrilled to have their kids associate with him if he keeps this up.

Is this a real question? My first thought is that it might be a troll...first question and all. I also find it odd that a 12 year old would do that in a school bathroom with another kid who was a willing participant (maybe off school premises...). This just doesn't sound legit.

First of all, you're very brave for posting this; my son is getting ready to turn 12 next week and middle school kids learn a lot from peers, whether we want them to or not. My son does talk to me and I'm so happy he does. In our minds, we think can they really be masturbating at age 12. I have looked things up as I know things are going to come up and apparently, children can start as babies. . .scary I know but perfectly normal. I would go to your child and approach this in a way where he brings up questions he might have. Honestly, I know that some times kids are curious and that boys and girls both do things together out of curiousity. Some times it just easier to do these kinds of things with the same sex. I'm not saying that's your son's case but he is very young and exploring; which is super normal. The conversation really should be about safety. This is scary for all of us as there is social media and more peer pressure than when we were kids. If this was when I was a kid, my mom would have sent me away. Granted, I did not even know what sex was at 12. There wasn't social media and it wasn't on the tv shows that I watched. Much simpler times. Good luck with this and please let us know what happens. I too have a 12 year old and I might read him your post and use it as a learning tool. These kids are exposed to so much more than we were.