Is Money a Good Reason Not to Have Another???

I agree with everyone else, that yes, finances are a legitimate concern. However, if you really want another one, is there something you can do to make it work? Can you move to someplace with a lower cost of living? I don't know where you live, but if you're in So. Cal, it's very expensive here. There are many cities where rent is 1/2 the price or less, and childcare is more affordable too. I have one child right now, but when I try to imagine my life in 20 years, I know I will always want child #2, and I'm moving outta here in order to make it work.

Money is definitely a reason not to have another one! Doubt means don't. If you already know that your situation is not the greatest and you said yourself you already struggle, another child will definitely not make it any better. In your heart, you know what is best for you and your family. You have listed all the reasons not to have another one. It's okay to have what you got.;)

Sadly, yes, it is a very good reason not to have another child, not only for the potential child, but for the amount of stress that it will put on you, your marriage and your 3 year old. That you're even asking the questions shows what a responsible and thoughtful person you are. Clearly you're very responsible or you would not have finished college-I know how tiring finals can be, I could not imagine taking them while about to have a child! i have a feeling you know the answer, just look in your own heart and head.

I may be in the minority opinion here, but I too live in Los Angeles and know how super expensive everything is, and how rocky our economy is. Maybe your husband can find a way to contribute more moeny to the household, change jobs,get a more advanced education etc.

You dont say how old you are, but it seems like you are in your late 20's or so. Perhaps you should give yourself a chance to get a bit more financially set and then revisit the question? I had my last child at 39, so there is still time! I know you're concerned about the age difference, but life is a trade off. BTW, my oldest and youngest are 6 years apart and get along just fine. I too would have liked to have another child but the reality was that we just could not afford it. I know where you're at and it is painful. Ultimately I know I made the right choice for my mental health!

Good luck, I applaud you for thinking this thrugh and not being selfish. Women like you get ahead because they look down the line, not just at their wants, but at the long term effects of their choices.

It is ABSOLUTELY a good reason to not have another. That was my primary reason. People say, "oh the money will come." but if it doesn't...I didn't trust that we would have enough money to take care of that 2nd one and it would put the entire family in financial risk. (And I didn't have any school loans or debt.)
Also it meant I would have to work FT away from the 2nd child as opposed to 28 hrs/wk with my first, so I wouldn't have been able to give my 2nd, the time I had given my first.(And I didn't have any school loans or debt.)
Have confidence in your feelings and decisions and follow them! You know what is best for you and your family. :-)

NO! ! ! ! ! MONEY, OR THE LACK THERE OF, IS NOT A GOOD REASON FOR HAVING or not having ANOTHER BABY.

Babies are blessings. Yes, you're stretched to the gills financially, but will any one really have enough money for their babies? You love them, you take care of them and as my good friend prepares for his 13 baby on the salary of a sheriff, just know that his house is filled with love, love and more love. No, he doesn't always go out, definitely cannot pay for 13 kids' college education, but the kids too hold a responsibility to do well so help themselves to college. It's not something we owe our kids. They earn it. Coming from a single mom who raised 7 kids, it was just the most wonderful thing all my sisters. How I love them all so much and now my one child, ( I couldn't have more) -- well, I am a big believer in BIG FAMILIES. Funny, how in biblical times, the more children parents had, the wealthier they were. But its' not always a monetary wealth that is the most important.

Hi M.,

I know just how you feel. I'm torn in the same way. I REALLY want another baby but financially, it would be a hardship and I know it. It doesn't make the want go away, but it is a deterant for me. I wish it was like the old days when people had as many kids as they wanted and it seemed like it just always worked out. But now everything is so expensive. My 2 girls are 6 1/2 years apart because we couldn't have two kids in daycare. It just wasn't going to work financially. So we waited. It worked out for us that way, maybe waiting until the right time will work for you too. I never thought we would be able to have two, but in that time span things changed and we could, so we did. Sometimes it's all about timing. My youngest was born 3 days before my oldest graduated kindergarten (it was private school so we were still paying) Then I had the summer off so no daycare then. Then my oldest went into public school and the baby went to day care. My DH and I both have to work to support the family, I would love to stay home. But sometimes life is like that and we just roll with the punches. Like you, we rent and have a little savings (nothing remotely significant) and no savings for college. But alot of people don't and they do just fine. Life doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be happy. You'll know when the time is right for you in all aspects of your life. Everything will come together. Good luck to you :)

Hi M.,
Listen to what your body is telling you - when you think of having another baby, does your body tighten up or does it feel free? Your body will always tell you the truth.
I suggest you help make your son feel more secure by disciplining yourselves to start a savings account for him - whenever you choose him over eating out, you can add it to his account - you'll be surprised how tiny amounts of money can add up. Do that at the same time you pay a little extra towards your debt.
All the best and Good Luck!

Your situation sounds exactly like mine...renters with no savings, huge piles of debt and school loans and eating out when we shouldn't! I have a six month old and already feel the pressure to think about another one...mainly because I'm almost 38. I don't believe in a lot of excess stuff for a child (we don't have every toy in the universe clogging up our apartment!) but we've spent so much unexpected money on things. Birth doula, lactation consultants, breast pump, cloth diapers, the hospital copay...things I never would have thought about pre-baby! I feel like maybe I could slip in one more baby and it wouldn't be that much of a strain. But the real financial hardship is that my husband is a stay at home dad. The alternative is a nanny or daycare, which his salary would barely pay for. That's where the real financial strain would come from...so think about that. It's another 3 years or so of that before they're off to school! I am saddened by this also, but try to think how much easier life will be with one. There will be much more of a chance to dig ourselves out of the holes we're in. Hope that helps and best of luck to you!

hi M.,
We just had our second and are deciding if my hubby should get the snip.
I guess it's not JUST, my "baby" is now a toddler, but with 2 kids, and one is a girl, one is a boy, it seems like stopping is a good idea, but in my heart, i know i am meant to have more children.
Choosing to live in SOCAL and having a HUGE mortgage and both of us having masters degrees which means MAJOR student loan payments, means for us to have to be better with our money.
We cut back where we can and do what we can to set a good example for our kids. We don't want them growing up thinking that when you want something, you just go get it. We want to instill a good work ethic and strong family values and we do what we can to demonstrate being responsible parents and responsible members of society.
We make a lot of dinners at home and eat out when there is a special occassion or something to celebrate...........instead of all the time like we used to.
It is a VERY tough decision, and a VERY personal decision.
I think my hubby is done, so i will let him get the snip and have us be done for now IF he agrees to the POSSIBLITY of adopting in 5 years from now when we can sit down and say that we are debt free and things are very different.........and at THAT point, if we decide we want to add to the family, THEN we will, but for now, no can do.
Whatever you decide, you can make it work for your family!
;)
And if you want to supplement your family income, there really are some amazing options out there to do so.
That is how we pay the mortgage..........we are a two income family, but i get to be an AT HOME mommy as well!
If you want to learn more about what I do, let me know.
Good luck with making your decision!
S.
www.MomsOnAMission.US

It's an excellent reason. Having another baby doesn't just double the burden, it quadruples it. You already have enough on your plate. Deal with your debt and enjoy the time you spend together. Money issues are one of the major causes of divorce. Good luck!

M. - its great you are thinking this way. I always wondered why some women would put themselves in certain situations with having more children making their lives more difficult when they were struggling already with the first. (Not you personally)

Children cost ALOT of money and it gets worse as they get older and as the ecomony fee rises. Especially when you want them to have more than the neccessary roof over their head, food, clothes. You may want to do swimming, piano, soccer lessons, Disneyland, family trips, etc. A decent pair of shoes for my boy costs $50.00 and he'll only wear them 3 months max. It personally makes me feel good when my son doesnt need for anything. And I should add... I'm a frugal person. I collect cans for his bank account, we dont have cable, I dont eat out alot - I cook and take lunches... I ride Metro link... we go to alot of functions at parks and libraries that are FREE, already as it is.

Money issues causes the kind of stress that can cause problems in the family unit itself. Although I am sure there is ALOT of love/structure there already in your family. But do you want to make your life harder? We are in a recession (Not sure your in the US or not). How many sacrifices can you make at the end of the day and for so long? The baby will struggle with you. Heaven forbid but what if you child gets sick and require medication your plan doesnt cover. And I wouldnt want to take away from the child that I already have. I think it would different if you were already pregnant,....but you have the opportunity to control your getting pregnant and hopefully later your financial situation so that you can get pregnant when its more convenient for your family.

You might have wanted to have the children close in age but a loving family is a close family regardless. I have always loved and always wanted 4 children and I had my first and last at 35. Sometimes our plans do not work out as planned. Think of the quality of life you'd like your children to have and then ask yourself logically if your able to provide that for them. You would want to have emergency money saved up. Because something is always going to come up...rather its extra car maintanence fees.... increase in rent.... higher gas prices..Lay offs.... its life. Is not being able to take care of my child a reason to not have another? Is money a good reason not to have another child? This is my personal opinion, but I say HELL YES! It is a very person decision for you though. I wish you well with it.