Is Medication the Right Choice for My Son with ADD?

Updated on February 28, 2010
C.S. asks from Milwaukee, WI
34 answers

Hello, all! My 9 year-old son has recently been diagnosed with ADD, and I am under a lot of pressure to medicate him. He is an incredibly sweet, creative, and loving boy, with an amazing personality, but he has difficulty focusing in school, which makes life harder for him. He also is having an increasingly hard time making friends, because his maturity level is still at 2nd grade goofy, rather than at the level of his more serious 4th grade peers. We are doing a 504 for him, and have started with fish oil, and increased organic food choices. I am a totally granola mom, and am very wary of medication. I am worried that it will change his fabulous personality, and that it will give him the idea that problems can be solved with drugs (prescription or otherwise), all so that he can fit more easily into the good student mold. However, his teachers and peers have a negative view of him, which is affecting his self-esteem. This is the same child who turns into a hypochondriac at school and during homework. I don't want my "hippie-mom" beliefs to work against him, but then again, there are reasons that I have these beliefs. Medication is a very scary thing, and I don't want to change an amazing child, who in my mind is perfect in every way. advice?

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So What Happened?

I was amazed by all the responses I received! Obviously a hot button issue. Everyone was very thoughtful and helpful. We have made an appointment with a child psychiatrist that we trust, and intend to go into that meeting open to trying medication, coupled with alternative therapies and lots of love and understanding. We'll see how it goes from there. Thanks, again! C.

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A.S.

answers from Rochester on

Both of my nephews are on meds for there adhd and it hasn't changed there personality. They have become more settled at school have made a lot of friends and are learning at a much faster pace as there body stays still and there brain can focus on what they are doing. I am not hugely into medicating a child either but for some kids it is the best help for them at school. Just a warning it took a few trys to get the dose right for my nephews you want them settled not drugged so if you do start him on meds he should no seem like a robot or completely passive then they have him on two high of a dose. Good luck to you.

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P.W.

answers from Saginaw on

C.
What you need to do is get ahold of a Doc. that handles ADD kids. How is his attention span can he sit still & how his writing.Where do you live at . And if you want to talk more I can give you my E-mail address .

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M.B.

answers from Boise on

C., where do you live? I am in Boise Idaho but i know i get these questions from all over.

Please call me ###-###-#### or Email me personally and I will give you some information that might help without the drugs.

thx. Marciab
____@____.com

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L.Y.

answers from Cheyenne on

I agree with you C. and respect your apprehension about drugging your child. No one can give you any answers on the long term side effects of these drugs. As Dr. Robert Mendelsohn once noted: "No one has ever been able to demonstrate that drugs such as Cylert and Ritalin® improve the academic performance of the children who take them.... The pupil is drugged to make life easier for his teacher, not to make it better and more productive for the child."

Check out these websites:

http://www.all-natural.com/add.html
http://www.thebook.com/livewell/info_add.htm
http://intelegen.com/nutrients/add.htm
http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/ritalin.htm

Also these books:

Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills - Russell L. Blaylock
Health and Nutrition Secrets by Russell L. Blaylock
Without Ritalin : A Natural Approach to ADD - Samuel A. Berne
Twelve Effective Ways to Help Your ADD/ADHD Child - Laura J. Stevens
Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World - Jeffrey Freed

If you don't read anything else, read the two books by Dr. Blaylock. They're not specific to ADD/ADHD but I think will be very helpful.

If we're so quick as parents to give our kids drugs for every symptom that pops up to "cover it up" or make it go away, can we really be surprised that they self medicate in their adolescent years w/ alcohol, pot, cocaine, ecstasy, etc. We are teaching them that drugs solve problems. The only difference (IMHO) between legal and illegal drugs is who gets paid. Sorry, just my opinion. I'm more scared of the legally medicated adult out there driving around than the teen who has had a couple of beers. Not because the teen is less dagerous, but because there are alot more doped up adults. Sorry, I digress...

Try to find a good doctor to help you sort through all this info if you need to. Some Chiropractors, Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Acupuncturists, etc. can be a big help. Stay away from the Chiropractors who are wannabe MD's. Find someone with your understanding and values. They can be a big help.

Good luck,
____@____.com

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T.L.

answers from Rochester on

Hi C.! Only moms without children with ADD or ADHD don't believe it exists. My 15 year old has ADHD and was only diagnosed last summer. She is highly intelligent and participates in gifted and talented classes. She was reading high school level books in the first grade. When her teenage years and hormones kicked in - so did her inability to focus. She has always been excitable and always took hours to eat a small meal. Her grades began to fail as she had to move from classroom to classroom and she would forget her assignments. She doesn't even have a self-preservation voice to tell her to not do things like jump down a flight of stairs!

She was placed on Concerta and it changed our lives for the better. Her 5 year old sister didn't have to worry about toys being grabbed from her hands. When a five year old notices behavior, you know something is up! My oldest is not a zombie - her personality is more focused and I can see her clearly without the fog of ADHD. She can shine without being distracted. Sure, she has to watch her weight on a daily basis for fear of losing too much but it's a small price to pay. She is learning about herself and if I can help her to do that with medication then there is no harm in that. You wouldn't keep someone with depression off of medication because you have never experienced daily deep depression and it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, either.

Keep an open mind and do what is best for your child and your family - whatever you decide.

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T.C.

answers from Lincoln on

I know you have a lot of other advice already. I don't know where you live, but if you have a learningRx close to you. PLEASE try this. I am a trainer and have had numerous students with ADD, and has helped all of them. Please look on the web at their site. I reallly encourage you to please check it out.

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R.J.

answers from Provo on

I believe that you need to follow your motherly instincts. You are the only one who really knows best about your child. Don't let the opinions of others change your mind. It sounds like he is a wonderfully creative boy, who just wants to express himself in a different way than what others may feel is the right way. Don't ever stop letting your children explore there desires and dreams. You seem to be doing a wonderful job! I understand you when you say you are a granola mom. But I believe we have been given a gift to care for our children in a loving, positive and amazing way.

We can help change the world through our children, they have so much potential, so why would we stop their progression? You only have a few more years with him until he is grown out of the house, make it the best years! You know what is best for your child, I think you will make the right decision for him. Stay strong, it is a ruff world out there!

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C.G.

answers from Missoula on

Hi C.,
My niece just made me aware of this site and I saw your message. I have been using a nutrition formula for almost 14 years now that is safe for all ages and I know quite a few mom's who use it for their children. Many of them have been diagnosed ADD and ADHD. After using the nutrition, many of the symptoms have gone away and the children are calmer, able to retain friends, are doing much better in schoool and in genenral are healthier. If you would like to talk to some of these other mom's about the product, let me know.
____@____.com
C.

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A.R.

answers from Lansing on

Hello C.,
I would not put my child on drugs. Most of the time I have read that ADD is really about the blood sugar. Maybe you could have this checked by another doctor? Cod liver oil is a good start but cutting out the granola is also good. Lack of focus can be caused by so many other things. Yeast is one of them. Sugar feeds it. Too many doctors lable everything in one package. You can check out www.mercola.com and www.drday.com and do a search about ADD/ADHD and get an eye opener. Both of these people are literal medical doctors that care about peoples health. Please do a careful search first before you make a discision. My son's mother in law put our daughter in law on ridlin and she still feels so bad that she did that to her. Her daughter is very beautiful ballet dancer/teacher now. Thus her hyper had a purpose. I will pray for you because I know God has the answer for you. And nothing is impossible with Him. A.

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L.E.

answers from Lincoln on

Hey C.!
I wish there were a right or wrong answer to your question. I can only tell you my experience. It is so funny reading your email today when my husband and I just had a meeting at our son's school yesterday with the school psychologist, all of his teachers, his therapist, etc. My son is 8 and will be 9 in March. He was diagnosed with ADD just before he turned 6. We chose to put him on medication at that time because he had the exact same behaviors you are describing. He had no friends at school because he acted like such a maniac. Homework was impossible and sometimes he would just hide under his desk and shut down. We chose to put him on medication because we felt so badly for him- and frankly we were getting pretty frustrated and wanted something that would help him be able to control himself. We started him on Ritalin which seemed to work really well but he often forgot to go to the nurse at lunch time for his second dose. Eventually we switched to Concerta which was only a once a day dosing. His grades did improve and his social skills improved as well. However, the side effects were heart breaking. He became anorexically thin, even though he was on the lowest possible dose. He couldn't sleep at night and had horrible bags under his eyes. He didn't laugh any more, and became zombie like. We felt like we had lost our son. The behaviors were gone, but so was Mitch. After a year and a half on meds I decided I was done. I wanted my son back even if it meant putting up with his behaviors again. It is the best decision we have made. We still deal with focus issues with him everyday, but he laughs again and is back to his normal personality which I missed so much. We have been taking him to Judy Gonnerman here in Lincoln. She is a Psychologist who works with Neuro-feedback and Bio-feedback on ADD and ADHD children. The name of her practice is First Step Recovery and I highly recommend her. She is located at 40th and South streets in the office building there. Mitch's grades have plummeted this fall which is hard to see because he is so dang smart. His brain waves are incredible and I am told that he has similar brain waves to Einstein (who also had ADD). He just struggles to focus. We have come up with a plan at our school to help him stay on task by offering a few breaks each day in a sensory room where he has specific activities to complete that only take a few minutes, but they give his brain a chance to slow down so he can go back and focus on his work. Chewing gum is also another thing we are trying. When he sits down to complete writing tasks which are the hardest thing for him to do he is going to be allowed to quietly chew gum as even that small activity can help him to remain calm and focused. I don't know if any of this helps. I will say that his behaviors after being on medication are not as bad as they were before. So maybe it was the right thing to do for awhile. I am not saying that I would never put him on medications again either. I just would never put him on anything that takes him away from me like last time. Some friends of ours have their daughter on a patch called Daytrana 10 mg. They love it and haven't had the side effects that we did. It's hard to see a brilliant boy fail 3rd grade because he just can't focus and that is the only reason I would try meds again. I am not ready for that yet. I want to try some other things first. I wish you lots of luck with your son. I know I love my little guy so much and just want whats best for him- but the answers aren't always cut and dry - I guess we have to go through a trial by fire to find what works for Mitch. Good Luck!

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

You are going to find opinions from one extreme to the other. Nobody on here can decide if your child needs medication. Only you, your child and the doc can decide that. I think we would all encourage you to make any non-pharmaceutical changes that you can to help him, but if it comes down to the fact that he needs medication, then do what is best for him, not you. There is a huge stigma with ADD meds, but you have to let that go and let his needs guide you. Billions of people are alive and well solely because of medications. Don't look at it as trying to 'fit a mold' but to give him the most productive and happy life that you can. If he needed a heart medication, would you give it to him? Probably. Sometimes, problems can be solved with drugs...and that's why they are made! Yes, there are too many people on too many drugs but as long as your intention is to help your son, you and he will be fine. You will be vigilant and attentive to changes/side effects and you will be involved in all the medical decisions. You are not giving up if you choose medications, you are simply trying another option to help him! Stay confident in your choices, whatever they may be...you know him best and love him the most!!
~L.

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C.S.

answers from Biloxi on

My nine yr old daughter is on medication for ADHD. She still has her personality and she is able to focus on school and make friends. Homework was the same way here. There are different types of medication out there. With my daughter it was trail and error when she was first diagnosed with ADHD. You can try adderal for your son. that is what my daughter was on. she is now on vyvance which is the same as adderal only lasts a bit longer during the day. I hope this helps you. If you are feeling stong against medication you can also limit sugar intake.

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K.S.

answers from Bismarck on

Hi C.,

I can completly understand how you feel. I went through the same thing with my son and I put off medicating him for a long time. However, now with the medication I see the positive changes in him. He has ADHD along with extreme anxiety which makes him very impulsive and sometimes violent. With the medication he can focus and he has actually just recently stopped getting in fights at school. I think the most frustrating part for me is trying to find the right medication. We have had to adjust or change his medications at least three or four times in the last year and a half. Right now he's on Ritalin and Straterra and it is working great for him. The one thing I have always stressed to him is that with or without his medication it is always his responsibility to make good choices. I explain that the meds make it easier for him to make good choices but he still has the same consequences regardless of whether he's had his meds or not. I decided right from the beginning that I will not allow this to become an excuse for bad behavior so I hold him accountable everytime he is in trouble.

Sorry this is so long but I hope it was helpful. Please feel free to email me anytime if you want to talk more. I know it's very frustrating but always remember that you are his parent and you know what's best for him. Don't let the school pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with.

K.

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A.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

C.-

It is definitely worth a try. We struggled for years on whether or not to medicate my now 11 year old step-son. It seems so often that you hear that all of the "problem children" have ADD or ADHD and need medication. We had him tested twice, the first time in kidergarten (I think that he was too young to diagnose) and the second time in third grade. He has now been on ritalin for over 2 years. He is a different child. It has helped him so much. He has to go to the doctor on a regular basis to have his dosage regulated, but it truly has worked wonders. His confidence has definitely increased. Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Great Falls on

Please, get another opinion. My grandson was diagnosed ADD and we medicated him for a year. No change until we took him off meds. ADD is the most popular dignosis these days because drugs can produce instant results. No, duh. Of course a drugged up kid will behave better. He is much better now that we don't give him pills every day. He just has to learn how to channel all that energy better.

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J.C.

answers from Boise on

Hi C. - I agree with Tina. I didn't want to medicate my son, but we did it for his benefit. I didn't want him a zombie, but he is more able to be himself because the anxiety of not being able to stay on task which got him in trouble with class was making it so that he could not be himself. When I thought about how it would feel to always be wrong, to be in trouble, to have peers be annoyed with me... felt like we had to try it. Like a previous poster said, it makes my son more able to be himself. Adderall made him lose weight, Strattera made him manic, Concerta has been great.

My son and I have talked that the medicine does not change him. He described the differences as going from "spaghetti head" with his thoughts all twisted like a bowl of spaghetti, to be able to get his thoughts straight. You may also have to talk to him about how taking the medicine does not make him a failure in any way.

Good luck and let me know if you want to talk it over from a been there/done that perspective.

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A.A.

answers from Des Moines on

hello C., im A.. i have a soon to be 8 year old who also is add, but since kindergarden. we knew early that there was n issue, she didnt speak until she was 2 and a half and with peers she wasnt in the group, but we thought it to only child syndrome. well we tried many interventions at school but she still could not focus and after 1 year we went ahead and went to drs. took and buck and they put her on focalin and they start on a real low dosage and work up sometimes i think she is too focused but i can tell u she does awesome with her school work now and ive never seen her with so many friends. that being said, its not to say everybody should do it but for some children its the answer.

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A.R.

answers from Missoula on

I dont have any advise, because I am in a similiar situation. I have a 4 year old son who is VERY hyper active. He has never been diagnosed, but recently I have done the same.....Organic food and Ive tried to eliminate white flour out of his diet. I have been giving him fresh fruit smoothies (bannanas, Strawberries, rasperries) with half green tea. That has definetly helped him settle down so that he is not a "jumping bean". I have ordered some "natural remedies" pills online that I have heard in this situation work GREAT! I havent received mine yet, so I dont have any History only from what my co-worker said about her son. Anyways, Id like to know how your situation works out. Its very HARD to see your son being treated differently from others just because he has a harder time foccusing! I understand. Im there with you!

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S.W.

answers from Lansing on

Hi C.,
My name is S. and I have an 8 year old daughter that we found out last year has ADD. We put her on the low dose once a day of Addriox (I think) and it didn't change her at all, it only helped her focus in school and be more organized. We took her off of it in the summer and I haven't put her back on it yet, but she has a doc appt for that. She is back to having a hard time in school and falling behind again. It only gives her that little bost that she needs for school, buy the time she gets home it is starting to wear off, but she's home and it's easier for her to deal with homework at home without friends. I understand not wanting to give it to him, (I was unsure as well) but I am glad that I did, it's helped her tuns in school, and that's what is important to us. Good Luck.

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T.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi C.,

I'm a big believer in medication. I think that it's a blessing that extrememly intelligent people have created a means whereby we can live healthier, more "normal" lives. I have 2 brothers and a sister with ADD. They all take medication and the changes in their coping skills is just amazing. Their personalities have not changed, only the way they can deal with life. My little brother used to be completely out of control and even threatened my mother with a knife when he was about 9. After trying other "natural" methods, my mother finally medicated him, and his behavior has been better ever since. Good luck with whatever you choose.

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

Go with your heart! I would not put a child on medication unless he was hurting himself or others. There are alternatives. Check into diet or a counselor. Magnesium or B-12 have been know to work. Also, he could have allergies and has been misdiagnosed. I knew of a site that listed 100 things that mimic ADD, but can't find it now.

Also, check out: The Official Brain Gym Website -- I know someone who did this and they had great success! You could check out:
3 Steps to Conquering ADD-ADHD by Jon Bennett (Book)

Both my kids had teachers that said they sould be tested. I had a wonderful Dr. at the time and she couldn't believe they thought that. I personally do not believe in ADD or ADHD, so maybe I'm the wrong person to ask. My kids are very bright and are doing well in school, I think they do zone out when they are borred.

I feel medication does change thier personality, make them loose weight, and has caused deaths--so I would try ONLY as a last resort!

Bless you, and I pray you get a solution without medication!Let me know what you do!

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J.M.

answers from Green Bay on

My 11 year old has ADD; my 8 year old has ADHD. My youngest wasn't diagnosed until about two months ago - being in third grade. He is in speech at school, has had some severe anger issues, has had behavior problems at school, problems making friends due to the behavior issues, homework that should take 10 minutes takes three hours, etc. All I have to say is - thank God for Concerta!

He is paying attention in school - he doesn't fidget all the time anymore. He is making progress in speech that was unseen before he started the Concerta. Homework isn't as much of a struggle. We've seen the changes at home, the teachers have seen the changes at school.

I don't see medication as the easy way out - it is NOT a cure-all. The anger issues are still there, and may or may not be related to ADHD. He has tried to tell me a few times that his medication wasn't working and that's why he acted up. We're gently explained to him that his medication isn't responsible for his behavior, it is only to help him focus.

We had problems with my oldest not wanting to take his meds - he was hiding them behind the couch for awhile. Adolescence is a difficult time, and I think anything that makes a kid feel "different" is going to be hard - whether its medication, their diet, or anything else. I was going to try changing their diet according to information I'd found online, and both the boys as well as my husband resisted, so that didn't work.

I am SO grateful we have the boys on their meds. It is NOT an easy road - the dosages will change, maybe the meds will change. There are possible side effects. They will still need extra support at home and at school. The kids' views on their meds will change (right now, Logan still thinks taking the meds is cool - he's only been on them two months, so its a novelty yet).

I have not "lost" my children with their meds - they are not zombies, I haven't seen the light leave their eyes, their creativity has not been lost, they are still the same sweet, loving children I've always known and loved. The changes at school are amazing. I am confident we made the right decision for OUR boys - it may or may not be the right decision for you, this is only our story.

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D.M.

answers from Saginaw on

My niece was diagnosed with adhd when she was 5. Which is very similiar to ADD just worse. My sister and I who raised her also struggled with this medication thing. I believe if it is not just him acting out once in a while and you have had a professional work up done and that is what they found to be the problem then you have to consider what not taking the med's will do to his future. My niece was so out of control it would take three adults sometimes just to put her shoes on. And when she went to school full time it was time to try the med's her school told us she would have to go to a special ed school if her behavior could not be controlled and focused. We tried the med's and we actually found her real personality because she could focus and wasn't fighting herself all the time. Also she was an A,B student and the most popular in her class. Of course when she forgets her pill and her freinds are over, she drives them crazy but other then that she is fine most of the time. She is now in college and has a full time job and she is able to handle it quite well. If you decide to try the medication do it slowly, for the first month or so your childs system is getting used to it and he may act a little slow or zoned, and lack of appetite but that should go away and that should be the only symptom if there are any other seek medical advice. Also, in the green shops like you mentioned there is and herbal mixture called kidalin I'm not sure If I spelled that right it has been a while but just go in and they'll know what your talking about. This didn't work for heather but it may work for you.
Hope this helps...

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J.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My son is 13 and was diagnosed in 4th grade with mild ADD. The doctor said that he definitely did NOT need meds - but I wouldn't have taken that route anyway. He is an excellent student and his teachers bugged me in 1-3rd grades to have him tested, but the testing is so subjective and I resisted even the testing. Once I came across someone I really trusted, then I allowed him to be tested. I find that diet is key and for about a year we eliminated wheat and dairy. It's tough, but it did seem to help. I agree with the recommendations for getting more sleep and limiting TV and video/computer games. We have also made a point of keeping physically active with sports - great exercise and less time for the video/TV!

My son has an August birthday and I started him at 5, so he is one of the youngest in his class. We dealt with the immaturity issues also, but he was reading 4th grade books in second grade! If I had held him back, he would have been even more bored and less able to focus. His second grade teacher tried to convince me to medicate him and said that he might not qualify for the Gifted program with his focus issues...

Well, he was accepted into the gifted and talented program from 3-5th grade and that helped as well. He was challenged and thrived in that environment.

Another thing about the immaturity - we all have to figure out how to get along with other people. We all have a range of behaviors, some that are appeciated and others that are not. Engage you son in looking at his behavior - not from the prespective that it is wrong, but taking into account how others see him. Not that we need to behave a certain way to please other people, but more so to cultivate a relationship with them.

I read several books on ADD/ADHD - there are over 8,000 on Amazon.com! Just pick the one that appeals to you. Drugs should be a last resort and you are far from exhausting all your other options!!

Last bit of advice, pay attention to your instincts. They are valid. If you don't feel comfortable medicating, then don't let anyone guilt you into it.

____@____.com

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T.R.

answers from Cheyenne on

I saw in a recent study that sleep deprived kids will show signs of ADHD. Does he get enough sleep? Do you have a set bedtime? I don't need the answers, just throwing this idea out there. You know your child best, do what you think is best and don't beat yourself up if you decide on medication!
Good Luck -
Tam

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A.

answers from Madison on

Hi C.-
I'm a teacher with several students in my class that have ADD and are medicated. I know there are tons of different medications out there these days to try, but these students are absolutely miserable without their medication. It breaks my heart to see them struggle so severely throughout the day just to get through the day if they aren't on their meds. Please don't let your own feelings about the stigma of medication sully what might be a really great thing for your son. Express your concerns to your pediatrician, and get a second opinion if you don't think you are being taken seriously. It makes me sad to hear that your son avoids school at age 9. This is not a good sign, he is obviously having a truly difficult time, and school should be where kids at his age really want to be! Good Luck!

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S.M.

answers from Jackson on

HI C., my son, who is now 18 is also ADD, no H in it at all. He was in the last two weeks of 8th grade when we finally figured it out. His doctor put him on Concerta for school only, none during weekends, or summer. His first day of school on the meds, he came home and said, "Mom, I didn't have to look at the teacher and I heard her talk and understood what she was saying". I had no idea. It was totally over looked because he was the sweetest kid, the teachers just loved him and worked extra with him all the way through elementary school, then of course, the middle school teachers had him, and did nothing but put him down. They could care less about him or any other kid that was slower at learning, they told me he was lazy and didn't try, not him what so ever, it was a horrible 3 years. Killed his self esteem. Oh how I wish I could do those 3 years over again, he never would have been in our middle school here, I would have put him in a private school, but thats hindsight. You could always give the meds a try and if they don't work, take him off of them. They were wonderful for my son, he was a totally different kid, but each child is different. Don't do it for the teachers or anyone else, you're talking about your son here. I just wish I knew better and had started him years earlier on them. Good luck in whatever you choose:)Sue

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

This is such a "hot" topic, I will say in the end follow your gut, I am somewhat in the same boat my 6 year old has all the signs of ADD, can't focus, always fidgity, he can not sit still, and very tempermental, ADD and ADHD run heavily in my family, my 14 year old brother is add/adhd, and at one point was even diagnosed as bi-polar, my mom being of a holistic mind tried all natural remedies, she works in a vitamin/health food store, but found that really none of it made a difference, and finally medicated him, it took a few tries to find the right medicine and even know it is always being adjusted, but what a difference it had made, he is one of the brightest young men I know, we used to tell my mom that if she didn't get him under control we would be visiting him in prison one day, we don't see that happening anymore, but that is only as long as he stay on his meds, 2 of my nephews are add and my sister balked putting them on meds also but the school was having a fit, so they compromised with her, all they asked is that she try, if she didn't like what she saw, or how it made the kids feel they would then support her in taking them off of the meds, she relented and has never regretted putting them on the meds, it was a huge difference in the boys not to mention they were finally cathching up on thier peers, emotionally and in school. Try the natural remedies first but know that they can take up to 6 months before they do any good, if they do at all, cause for a lot of kids they don't. I am trying the natural remedies also I can't remeber the names of the stuff my mom sent them to me, but if you would like I can get the info from her and send it your way, let me know, I will admit I haven't seen a difference in my son yet but it has only been a little over a month. Good luck on whatever desicion you make!

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A.H.

answers from Waterloo on

Hey C.. As an adult with ADD (and now also a "hippie mom"), I wanted to include my experiences. First of all, I have done a lot of reading on the subject and the best info that I have learned is that ADD should not be thought of as a disorder....the brain just works a lot differently in that individual. They tend to hyper-focus on things that interest them but struggle in certain situations, such as mundane school tasks or social situations. Explore all of your options. There are many meds that are non-stimulants, other natural options, therapy, etc. Personally, I wasn't diagnosed until I was 18 years old. I didn't have the hyperactivity, and back then it wasn't as understood as it is now. For me it was too late....my school life had been impacted beyond repair. I didn't get into college- went to a community college where I struggled and eventually dropped out. I wish that I would have had help earlier. In elementary and middle school I was at a small private school, so I had somewhat special attention payed to my needs. You could always start medication in the meantime while you are educating yourself and finding other options. It is sort of a "quick fix" that can make a huge impact on his self-esteem. I hope you find the best option for your family.

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T.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have tried a couple different meds for my autistic son for this reason. Adderall was not good, had the zombie effect on him, but Concerta has worked wonders. He is even MORE sweet than he was before, because he CAN focus more on people. His mind isn't running all over the place anymore. He has become more interested in people, how they're feeling and why. I didn't like the idea of meds either, but we gave it a try. It has been many years now, and every now & then I try to have him go without and it definitely shows, he still needs it.
My advice would be that it can't hurt to try. If it's affecting his school work and his friendships, then I think it's necessary. Those are the two biggest things he needs to get through life and become independant. As for his maturity, can he spend more one on one time with his older brother?

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M.M.

answers from Great Falls on

C. Dear,

I am a 'retired hippie' also, all for natural stuff.
I am also a teacher, ESL.
My kids are big now, believe or not, I did not use any kind of medication for them. None. Not even immunization.
This does not at all mean that I am a rebel.
Myself, I was saved back to life 4 times, and in emergency situations our doctors are just like Magicians!!!

Yet, when it comes to all things like you face now...
I do have problems with children being diagnosed ADD and ADHD, bi-polar, and such...
Think about that also: statistically, USA is number ONE with kids diagnosed thus and on medication they impose.
Also: pharmacy is a huge business.

Now, to the advice.
I absolutely agree with you that child's personality changes with medicating the physical system, especially the drugs they prescribe.
I do not think in all the cases when they suggest drugs, it is really necessary.
What is a must: a very caring parent (at least one)
who pays special attention to kid's needs. - this is you,
so all is well.
If they diagnose with ADD, then it means the kid has difficulty focusing. We need to teach them how to do it.
BUT! Before you can expect a kid to sit still and do something epaceful and quiet, some kids (maybe your dear treasure) are very active. They need to get the energy out of the system.
Would be perfect to take a stroll, little running exercise early in the morning before the classes start.
Sport activities, just running wikd around in the park and scream-yell, roll in the grass (oh, snow, yeah :) ), play snowball fight, pillow fight, something funny and VERY active for the physical body. Then, he gets tired. Can drink a cup of milk-juice-tea, and then sit him down and do something together. Homework may be turned into fun stuff also, if you try to invent some game around it, to get him interested. The thing is, once he got his activity time during running games, he will be settled, and able to be peaceful for much longer time.
My 2 elder kids grew up in a remote mountain area, and they had all the freedom of playing outside. Then, I was home teaching them until the 4th grade. They asked me to play school with them, and so we did, it was never boring, they graduated with straight A's. So, please, believe me I speak of my own experience. help him, and he will make it well, and won't lose his creative active way of being either.
As to another reason I speak so confidently, then this is this:
my daughter was diagnosed as bipolar (either very active, or depressed), when she was 13. We had some problems happening around us, so she was going through quite a time of exercising lots of her own qualities. They suggested medication. of course. At 13, it is in some ways easier, in some ways harder to deal with... We sat down many times and talked about all the situation. We decided we'll try to make it through without medication, although there were times when it was pretty hard for her. Now she is 17. No problems, no diseases. She is very talented, plays the flute in the orchestra, sings in the choir, all the kids around are her great friends, studies well (A's and B's), one of the best writers in her grade level, invited to Washington D.C. on the Young Leaders Conference...
SO?!
We could chose another way of course. Would she stay so active,interested in life, and talented? I do not know, or : I am not sure.
Decisions to make are yours, of course.
I shared my stories,
and:
If I were you, I'd pay a very special attention to how to help my dear kid to be happy, active, yet learn to concentrate - by actively getting involved into all of his activities.
You can play little games needing concentration, together: put together some puzzles, play with legos, keeping an eye on him so that he does not get distracted from one goal, but stays on finishing some little tasks first... then, to make that focusing time longer, and so train him to concentrate.

Note: videogames are VERY distractive, no help, but prevent from getting it right, TV, movies: a little less deistractive, but IF you decide to let him watch some show, movie, cartoon, I suggest:watch with him, and then SPEAK ABOUT IT, so that you teach him to pay attention to some things in the show: what it is about, why it is shown, what would you do in this situation... you know what i mean? so that he understands, that it's not just passing the time aimlessly, but to learn to focus on some ideas. You may want to set him a gaol before he starts watching a movie: it is about a boy who... let's see exactly, what made him behave so, let's think about how he decided to do so... (just an example)
There are millions of ways, but you know what I mean..
My sons are 25 and 23, both work 2 jobs, study in the University, and are very happy. My girl is doing very well also.
I wish you all the happy moments together,
and happy holidays!
P.S. you can always write me at ____@____.com
if you wish.
my photos are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/niravameen

Happydays!
M.

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L.B.

answers from Hickory on

Hi C.,
WOW! I thought I was reading something I wrote :)
Perscriptions were not the right choice for us. We used Pine Tree Bark in combination with Vitamin C (vitamin C helps it absorb), cut out all TV and Xbox during the weekdays, kept a 7pm-7am sleep policy. Friends, family, teachers, ministers, EVERYONE noticed a huge change in 4 days and said something to us when they had no idea what we were trying :) I blogged about all the changes and experiences at www.bitzs.com and there are some links to more info about it. We didn't use the Patented formula of Pine Tree Bark because you can NOT patent something that occurs naturally in nature so the drug companies have to change its molecular structure to patent it and as a result OUR bodies don't know what to do with the substance. We used the naturally occuring in nature pine tree bark. I found it online at ?? swanson drugs ??.

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

Have you looked into food sensitivity. I know of several kids who appear to be ADD and would qualify for sevices if they were left to eat anything with corn in it. I react to glutin. I dropped glutin, dairy, sugar, and lagumes and then slowly reintoduced foods to figure out which ones made me crazy. I also can't have processed sugar, but I can have honey without a reaction. Just a thought.

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K.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Medicating children for ADD is insanely controversial. Everyone is going to have their own opinion. Bottom line, it's your choice. You know your son better than anyone else, so there's no one better to make that decision than you. You also know you, and what you are capable of handling. You have to weight it out and see how much the ADD is affecting everything else (school, family, your marriage, etc) because I know ADD can be really strenuous. It's hard, but try and tune everyone else. It's your choice, and you have to worry about your little family and what's best for them. If you feel like you want him to try the meds, you could always go back off. Good luck.

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