Is It Wrong to Want to Get Pregnant in Your 40"S

Come on L., you have FIVE kids already! Love them, enjoy them, support THEM. Don't make a decision based on what your 12 year old wants. My 12 year old wanted a dog. We got one and he's the only one who DOESN'T take care of him. I even have to tell him to pet the dog! So, 12 year olds can be fickle. In this current economy think about what it would cost to raise another child. I hate to sound cynical, but I think people sometimes have children for the wrong reasons and then the rest of society has to pick up the emotional (and financial) pieces of a poor decision made. If you think you need a "miracle" -- look into the eyes of your 5 children and take a breath and appreciate that they are healthy and maturing. And if you still need a baby fix, go volunteer in a nursery. Before you know it you'll be a grandmother and THAT will be great. Good luck.

Hi L.,

I have one child and she is twelve. I've been married to her father for 14yrs. We have been trying for 3yrs to have another baby. I am thirty - eight. I can't afford IVF. Even though I think it would work for us as we are both in great shape and health. I understand you yearning. BUT my twelve year old loves getting into bed between mommy and daddy and says I LOVE being an ONLY child, because I get all the love in the house. She hugs us both and kisses us. And than another day she says, "I wish I had a little brother or sister, mommy." Really sad, big brown eyes. I can't even respond I just kiss her. Her dad says don't worry - we're working on it. And than her birthday comes or Christmas and she loves, loves, loves being an only child.
We want to have more kids, period, but it is not base on our daughter. I know she will adjust either way.

Also, I am begining to understand that the desire for children has nothing to do with how many you already have.

Good luck.
You can email me if you like.

it's not wrong but I think you have enough kids

try toni weschlers book "taking charge of your fertility"... her ewcm method worked for us - twice! check it out, you can probably just google weschler ewcm (egg white cervical mucus). best of luck

Hi Lectica,

I don't think it is wrong to have a baby in your forties, but not because your 12 year old daughter think you should.

You have to weigh all of the factors. Just think in a few years your 12 year old will have a life of her own, and you and your husband can start travelling and enjoying some of the wonderful things life has to offer, without concerning yourself about a baby sitter. Do you feel like getting up all times of night with a baby, teething sessions remember you are not as young as you use to be and your flexibility is not the same. I am just keeping it real. Whatever your decision is all the best to you and your family.

C.

Hi L.,

I agree, have a baby because you really want it, not because you feel you owe it to your 12 year old. That said, I would strongly recommend you see an infertility specialtist. NYU has a great infertility clinic in Manhattan. I had a child in my 40s through in vitro fertilization. It was hard for me to come to terms with the idea, but using natural methods (tracking ovulation) was not working. The doctor basically described it as a years worth of trying in one cycle. I desperatly wanted to have a baby in the completly natural way, but even during that year of trying, I could have gotten into the "too late" zone. It's hard to accept, but not so hard once you have the baby in your arms. Check to be sure have have insurance coverage!

All the best,
Carri

L.,
All considering she is your youngest your older children must be at a mothering age (if they are girls)you might want to think about that. I had an enormous amount of baby desire then my girls started to have babies ( or believe me I would have had another) and I am a midwife and am with babies all the time. But being a gramdma took care of my desire to have more in my 40s there is nothing wrong with wanting another baby it sounds as though you need alot of support in your decision this is why your 12 year olds opinion is so important to you plus she is the baby but remember you are the one no matter what that will have the baby. I would suggest that if you decide to give it a try you seek an acupuncturist specializing in fertility it really works you can always see a fertiliy specialist at the same time but taking care of your body at this point is optimum proper nutrition can even help you get pregnant.
Good luck to you if it is YOUR calling to become a mom once again you will know and it will happen.

Well of course it is not wrong. If you want a baby, and can provide for a baby and have a supportive husband and family than I wish you the best of luck!