Is It My Job to Call People When I Have a Baby?

when my kids were born, I just called everyone myself. I was so excited to tell everyone that I don't even think I went to sleep before calling everyone. I don't expect people to call me after having a baby, I call them. When my friends have babies, I wait for them to call me

Sounds like miscommunication to me. You are busy with a new baby so yes, she should have called. I would just call her when you can for a quick chat and maybe an invite over.

I think some people wait to be invited over after a new baby so they don't feel like they are intruding. There are women out there that like to schedule visitors or don't want anyone over in the beginning. I don't think she was showing she didn't care. I see it as the opposite. She wanted to respect your time with the baby until you were ready for visitors. Give her a call and invite her over.

I think she probably should've called you, BUT, a lot of times, people tend to think after you have a baby things are going to be crazy and they don't want to "bother" you. maybe she's just waiting for an invitation to come meet your little one! If it's not a CLOSE relative (like sister) I don't ASSUME people want me to come over while they're trying to adjust to having a new baby.I totally see how your feelings are hurt! I'm just wondering if maybe she's feeling the same way..... :o)

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I'd put this behind you and just reach out. Neither of you is at fault, there were just different expectations. That's ok, we're all different. Sound like your husbands opened the door for you both; have a laugh over it and get together. Good luck!

First, Congrats to you and your family!!!!
Maybe she thought you would call her and excitedly tell her the good news!! She sounds like she is giving you space---to adjust to baby and all. Call her and quit thinking about why she hasn't called you. IF you two are friends, you will find a way around this. This is petty! Call her and invite her over---

At 4 weeks after having my son - I was such a zombie and sleep deprived I sometimes didn't even hear the phone if it went off.
It was somewhere between 6-8 weeks when I finally pulled myself together.
What your husband said - Ha! - I love the way men get right down to it and don't play cat and mouse.
Looks like she's waiting for an invite so she will come when it's convenient for you.
So invite her over when it's convenient,
You are postpartum and your hormones are all over the place - don't go feeling all hurt over nothing.

You want this gal to be your friend, right? Do you want to be her friend?

Friends don't keep score.

Call her. Say, "I haven't talked with you since your daughter's birthday and I was wondering if everything's all right at your house."

I told everyone to NOT call me until/unless I called you. I was not sure how long I was going to need to be able to talk on the phone with anyone. She may have been waiting for you to notify her that you are ready to come back out (you did say you were hermity) ... I would call.

I like the 'friends don't keep score' comment. I also agree that it is a courtesy to not call people with a new baby.

The important thing is to realize that we are not in high school. We can understand that different people have different interpretations and different expectations of a situation. Neither has to be considered correct or incorrect. If I am feeling insecure about a relationship, I make the call. I don't mind asking if there may be some misunderstanding. You really could end up just laughing over the fact that you both expected the other one to call. You could just call to tell her that you hope the way your husband spoke of the situation did not give her the wrong impression.

With today's technology, we have the ability to turn off ringers when we want to nap and allow callers to leave a message. People can email about when it might be good to call or to tell you that they are not calling out of thoughtfulness. Most of us can text each other as well. If you think about it, it is pretty funny that you two are using the age old fall back of communicating through husbands. :D

Life presents us with many challenges. It is good to laugh at ourselves and life's foibles as much as possible. It sets a good example for your children.

I can understand not wanting to call a new mom out of fear of waking the baby. I can also understand that that is a cop out and a good "excuse" for people to use so that they can feel better about slacking off in the friendship department. If she were any kind of friend, she would have texted you to find out if it were okay to stop by. She would have stopped by and brought you food or done something equally as helpful. Bare minimum--just stopped by to meet the new addition to your family, said congrats and left. I think it's great that you don't have any hard feelings towards her. I definitely would have. Simply because as I get older, I don't have time to waste on people that aren't true friends and it sounds to me like she isn't. Congrats on the new baby!!!

See how it sorts out but I don't think you had to be the one to reach out.

I had a friend I considered my best friend. She was my rock during my divorce. Well apparently I should have married another rich man and continued my life as it was. So I started working full time and going to school full time. I called every now and then to see if she wanted to do something but it was always I would get back to you and she never did. Ironically she would call to invite me to her daughters birthday party cause I bring nice gifts. After a while I realized I did reach out and it was her that didn't reach. My last reach out was inviting her to my wedding, I have not heard from her nor did she return her response card one way or another. I am sure she is telling everyone that I should have called her personally, really I am over it.

So what I am saying is phones work both ways, see how it plays out but you did nothing wrong.

Oh and if she invites me to her daughter's birthday this year I am going to flip a nut!!!!!

I never call friends who have just had a baby because I don't want to interrupt a nap or intrude. It doesn't sound like that was the case with her though, it sounds like a test. Because I hate being tested, I wouldn't call her out of principle. But that's not mature, I don't guess... lol!

I don't think I can help, but I do relate. One of my best friends since childhood and I grew apart after my second child. We have always been different, me more of a homebody, her a social butterfly. Also, she doesn't have kids and wasn't married yet. After I had my daughter, she would still call me and want to have long phone talks (which I could not do with a newborn and 2 year old). She seemed hurt that I didn't keep in touch with her via phone better, and I kept wondering when she was going to stop by and see the baby. Her mother lives five minutes from me, it would have been easy to stop in. I was lonely and isolated and would have loved the company, but I never said it. We just stopped calling eachother and didn't speak for years. Now she is getting married, so she started calling once in a while to reconnect and I am going to the wedding this weekend. I have missed her and feel badly that I'm not in her wedding, but I still feel hurt and abandoned by her and wonder what kind of a friend she ever really was. It would be easier to justify her total lack of interest or motivation to stay involved if she didn't have other friends with kids and husbands she did keep up with. I guess my point is, if you want to keep the friendship, don't test it. I did and lost my friend:(

I think some people wait to be called by the new mom because they want to give you guys space to enjoy your little one. It might just be a misunderstanding.

I know sometimes people feel like they want to give people with new babies time. I was always one who wanted other people around - I'm just social. Well was - now I don't mind the peace and quiet!! LOL. Did you send her a picture of the baby? I would have called, I think. I would just give her a call and just let her know how busy you have been but ask her when she is going to come meet the new baby.

I think its ok your husband said something. If neither of you will make the first move to talk what is the problem??
You two probably have different communication styles thats all.

Congrat's to you and your family.

This one is tough.

I think she should have called you or sent you an email or a card.
But
She probably is thinking that you have your hands full and doesn't know when the right time is to call you.

Because her husband said something ~ means that she is thinking of you.

Talk to her.