Is It Me or Is This o.k?

I am completely Jealous! Now that you know its customary, either leave them at home or share them. Still real jealous that you get to experience Greece. Enjoy!

Sounds like a "community" type of situation. I would either not bring them, or you need to hold them/have them right next to you, and if someone grabs it, say, excuse me, that is my daughter's. If you would let them borrow it if they asked, just let them know that where you come from, it is polite to ask first.

Geeze, I completely agree with you. I hate to say it but if you can't keep them right next to you them don't bring them to the park.

Irene:

I'm not sure what country you moved to - but I've lived in Europe (Belgium and Germany) and all over the United States

Where I live NOW - you do NOT touch another kids toy, bike, scooter without ASKING FIRST!!!

In Amsterdam the bikes are like common property - that's what I saw - never had first hand experience - the people returned what they borrowed.

In Belgium and Germany - both ASKED before using.

If this isn't happening - bring a lock with you to the park and when your kids are not using it - lock it up.

That's weird!?! What country is this? just wondering. But if it were me, I would start bringing a bike lock with me to the park. And when my kids aren't using the things, could they be locked to the fence or something? I don't mind sharing with other people at the park, but if people are just going to take it without asking and go out of your sight with it, that is rude, I don't care what country it is. When it is time for you to leave the park, you need the toys there, you can't run around trying to find them all over the park when it's time to leave!

Could you tell us where you are? Definitely in the U.S. that would be weird! I wouldn't be happy at all if that happened at my local park. However, I can imagine a number of countries with different cultures and different ideas of sharing, stealing, property, etc. where they wouldn't think anything of it. Try to google for cultural information for the country where you are and even get specific in your search. Read some travel guides to see if they say anything about this type of thing in that country. If you speak their language or they speak English (it sounds like one is the case since you spoke to that mom), then just introduce yourself to a mom at the park and ask her about it. Nicely (maybe even laughingly) explain how surprised you were to see this happen because in your country people would think the items were being stolen! It may be a great way to get to know some local folks and you'll both get to learn something new about other cultures and customs!

***OK -you're in Greece where I can totally see this happening! They mean nothing ugly by it, but if it bothers you I would bring a bike lock. However, I would talk to some of the other mothers at the park first to get to know them and share how odd that would be in the U.S.

You are really asking the wrong forum, you should be asking if this is considered normal in a forum of greek moms. Of couse if you ask a bunch of American women, they will tell you that's rude, because here it is not considered ok.

I have moved between countries and some things you just have to chuck up to cultural differences. I was really put off by a couple of things when I first moved to the US - now I am so adjusted, I don't even remember what it was. You will eventually get used to all the new customs you encounter, it's part of the fun and excitement of living abroad.

You may have to bring a lock and lock them up. I don't see any other way. Do you notice it with the other children's riding toys? Or are your kids the only ones who bring them?

You should say what country you are in-maybe someone on the board may be familiar with it and fill you in. If I were you I would ask aroung though. Do

I would purchase a bike lock. Wrap it around both the bike and scooter when the kids are done playing with them and maybe around a nearby tree so other kids can not take off on them. Otherwise just wrap it around the two and lock them together so they can not be usable to anyone.

I lived in Greece and this sounds pretty normal to me. If you look around most kids don't have scooters or bikes and probably for just the reason you already stated. There are no sidewalks or safe places to ride them. Plus in Greece I found that anything and everything belongs to the community. If you put a bbq grill outside your apartment building everyone who lives there will use it and no one will ask permission. This is definelty a cultural thing. My only suggestion would be either don't take the scooters or keep them with you at all times and if someone goes for the scooter tell them they need to ask first. I speak greek but I also found that people were hesistant to approach me first because they thought I didn't speak the language. I probably would have been a little rude and asked for it back saying it didn't belong to them. Do you live in an apartment or house? My apartment in Agia Paraskavi had a long driveway perfect for riding a bike or scooter.

Can you talk to one of the mothers and ask if this is a general thing to do in the country you are in? Perhaps that is simply the way people are, they borrow your stuff and expect you to borrow theirs. Clarify if you can if this is a cultural misunderstanding first. That would make it easier to figure out how to approach it.
I am raising my kids in a foreign country and often notice differences that I didn't expect. But they can turn out to be wonderful things and open your mind to a whole host of ideas you never had before. Like the idea that sharing is a given on both ends: You can try mine, but I get to try yours. Sounds like a great way to raise kids to me.

first off, i'm incredibly jealous that you get to experience athens!
i'm sure it's cultural and not meant to be discourteous or intimidating, but i'd nip this in the bud. get locks and fasten them to a bench or tree when they're not using them, and i'd only bring them occasionally. keep the bike riding and playground excursions separate as much as reasonably possible.
khairete
S.

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It could be that your children's toys are different from their own. If you don't want the kids taking them, don't take them to the park. Period. Since you are in Athens, contact the consolate there to find out what the local customs are. Enroll in Greek classes and get to know the culture and become a citizen of the world. I would love to be there right now as it is still a dream destination for me for a very long time.

Good luck on your stay and I hope you get everything figured out.

The other S.

If it happens regularly with different people, then I'd just throw up my hands and recognize it as a cultural difference. I'll bet there will be a lot of them! (I've lived in several different countries and love making a study of it - but some practices are charming and some infuriating.) If the families tend to bring the bike back after a ride, then I'd relax and know that is just how it works. But if you are regularly having to search for things at the end of the time at the park, then you have to decide what you want to do; you can change yourself but not anyone else. Definitely don't 'kick against the goads' - stay angry at something you cannot change. Get a notebook, write on the front, "X Country Madness" and everyday write in the crazy stuff that happens - nice and bewildering. Maybe a book will come out of it - definitely good laughs years from now. Oh, I wish I knew where you were - I've lived in France, England, Kazakhstan, Rome and near NYC (definitely its own world).

If there was any way you could have your children put all their toys by you, would that help?
or you coud get a big sign made to put on them in Greek and English that says,"Private Property. do not touch!"
LOL

I would either bring a bike lock or not bring them to the park.
That's what we do here , if you don't want to share it we don't take it with us.

Never been to Greece, but in Japan if you bring a toy to the park, it's pretty much seen as an offer to allow others to use it. Actually, it's almost rude to bring something and then say "no I will not let you play with it" as if you are showing off. The other kids are encouraged to ask before borrowing it, but they are also told to share their own toys. Most of the time people will return the toys where they found them (with 2 year olds and younger it's spotty though :D)

Y'know, I never really had a problem with this coming to Japan, because when I was a kid it was the same. If you're going to bring something to school, the park, a party you went with the knowledge that everyone was to be allowed a turn with whatever toy you take. If you don't want others using it, don't take it. Seems like things have really changed since I moved abroad (or maybe it was growing up in a big family . . . .)

I guess that it's a cultural thing, that people view toys as community property when you bring them to the playground where you live. It's a different philosophy than in the US where everything is "mine." I would have a hard time with this too. Rather than parking the scooters or bikes, keep them with you and if a child tries to take it, tell them no. However, it may be something that you have to get used to if it is just the custom there.

you are right, I can't believe that parents can behave like that no matter what country you are. Next time don't let them use your stuff since they can brake it and then what are you going to do?

Interesting, which country are you living in?

Only thing I can say is I certainly would not let my own children help themselves to other kid's scooters, in fact I think it's even kind of rude to ASK if you can use them. I guess I want them to wait to be OFFERED use of someone else's possesion, you know?

Has it happened many times? I would befriend a local mom and try to get to the bottom of it, if it is in fact a cultural difference or something else.

Hi Irene,
I haven't read your other answers yet, but you must have a lot of good advice by now. My only suggestion would be to buy a chain and lock and when the kids dismount, chain the toys together so they can't be used.
Good luck!
"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA

I would be annoyed too. If there's a way you can lock them up, I would do that. Otherwise, try to keep them with you--don't know how easy that will be though. Wish I had some other advice for you.

I'm sorry, cultural or not, I think that is a rude way to raise kids. Do the parents do the same with their cars? If they park outside the park are you allowed to just walk up and take their car to go to the store? They should be raised to ask first. I would find a lock with a long cable and lock them all together when they are not in your possession.

Another thing to consider is what if one of the kids breaks the scooter? Are the parents of that child going to take responsibility for replacing or repairing it? What if some kid is off riding it out of your site and you decide you want to leave? Do you have to wait for them to come back or go search for them?