Is It a Bad Joke or Just Me?

i don't think it's a joke at all. sounds to me as if the snake guy is way more tuned in to this child than you. sorry.
khairete
S.

sorry - it's not a joke. Have you heard of the dog whisperer or the horse whisperer?

there are more ways to communicate than talking.

I don't think the snake handler was intending to be mean or hurtful.
He was trying to make small talk.
People with good intentions sometimes open their mouths and wedge their feet firmly inside.
Let it go.
Additional:
So you are DETERMINED to be offended.
Some people think snakes are beautiful and such a comment would be a compliment to them.
There's no pleasing some people, and it's no use trying to work with anyone who is perpetually offended.

I don't understand where you are coming from at all. Snakes or any animals do not communicate as we do. I would think someone who is nonverbal would communicate with animals better than those of us that speak.

You are the only one who was connecting the boys appearance with that of the snake, trust me this is all you. The guy did not say the boy looked like a snake, for whatever reason you read that into it. That says more about you than the snake trainer.

Sorry but the more you add to the what happened the more it seems you look for ways to be offended. Why do that to yourself or your child?

I think it's just you. I wouldn't have read into it. Communicating is not just verbal.

Added: Mowmowci, I too am absolutely shocked that so far, only two of us posting here are upset about this child being compared to the snake. ESPECIALLY after your SWH, and being told that since you continue to be offended that there's no used to try to work with you (and saying you are perpetually offended.)

People who talk like this just have NO CLUE what it is like for a child (or their parents, for that matter) to have craniofacial malformations.

I am SO sorry that hardly anyone understands what you are going through in your life. Having taken my own son with a submucous cleft palate (no craniofacial abnormalities on the outside) to a cleft palate clinic for many years, and seeing the hundreds of craniofacial malformed kids during my days and years there, I sympathize with you in what you witnessed in front of this child, and your having a child with a cranio condition. Perhaps if these people walked a mile in your shoes, they'd get it.

I am seriously shocked at the lack of understanding here.

You keep advocating for these children. I PROMISE you that the family retreat coordinators would be appalled by this. Please, I again ask, talk to the event coordinators and ask them to address this with the snake handler.

Original:
If there is someone you can complain to, please do. It was in TERRIBLY poor taste to talk like this, period.

Thank you in advance for taking up for this boy. If the people who hired him call him up and complain, he will think twice before he pulls that stunt again.

Dawn

Sometimes when we are suffering and hurting and protecting our children we see pain or offense where there is none.
I highly doubt that this man would come to a dinner full of families and children that have been afflicted with cranio conditions and purposefully try to offend someone. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue? Maybe he was trying to tell the boy he could be friends with a snake? It was probably nothing.
Mom, I know how it is when people stare and ask questions about your child, I have been there....but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that people are truly doing their best and NOT trying to offend.
L.

I'm sorry, I have absolutely NO IDEA what any of this means. What's a 'cranio condition?' What's a 'cranio boy?'

Was it like a theater? A show? A restaurant?

Was it in the US?

Sorry, it's all just a mystery to me.

I mean, if your question is "Is it customary in the US or offensive to have a performer with a live snake come to your table and communicate with your possibly mentally challenged child?"

I don't know the answer. I have never been to a restaurant that features performers with live snakes, with or without a child with a mental condition.

:(

Added**Thank you for answering my questions, I have a much better understanding of your question now. :)

Perhaps the snake handler has some experience, maybe he's worked with children with this condition before. Maybe he understands that often time special children can bond more easily with an animal then a person. I wonder whether the snake handler wasn't trying to make the boy feel more comfortable. We ALL feel better with a friend, even a special needs child. I'm not sure the intent was 'a joke'.

Would you have found it less offensive if he had a fluffy white bunny rabbit rather then a snake, and said the same thing?

Parents of special needs children are all different. But I see a completely different thing here. I thing the snake handler was trying to be kind. Not make a sick joke.

But I wasn't there either!

Interesting question!

I don't think it's a bad joke at all. The snake is a very "different" sort of animal. It is fascinating and it can't "talk" either. People stare at snakes when they are around.

I think the handler was trying to show the boy that different is not a bad thing. And to a young boy...how cool to be told "you look like this interesting, different being!" It gives the child and the animal a special bond.

Yes, to me that seems like a rude/crude thing to say....

Unfortunately, when people are around others that have either physical handicaps, or mental deficiencies, they don't know what to say, or what to do.... for the snake handler to say "he looks like you" was rude...

He could have said something like... "Wow.. you are very calm handling snakes... do you have snakes at home?" He could have made conversation with the child without commenting on his physical condition or pointing out the difficulty he has speaking, or trying to compare him to the snake.

You say you're not from the US..is it possible you misheard him? Maybe he said "the snake is looking at you...you are good at communicating, etc"?

I think if I were handling a hissing snake around a child, I would probably say something about "the snake is talking to you"...without it meaning the child can only talk by making sounds too.

Or maybe I would say something about the snake sticking out his tongue just like the child. I don't think that's a "bad" statement to make. I would probably also say something about how snakes smell with their tongues.

I think you may be hyper-sensitive to this issue. I'm similarly always aware of language and how people "mimic" languages (or misunderstand people from different cultures).

It's offensive, and no different than a person telling someone ugly they look like a monkey or a big person they are fat. Keep your opinions to yourself. They say if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. It is a sensitive environment and the kid needs encouragement and even though the guy may not mean what he said, he did say it. You asked if it was just you or a joke, it was a joke to the guy, it was offensive to you.

Huh? A family dinner with a snake presentation? Cranio conditions?

I don't know whether I would have found it offensive because I was not there. It doesn't read as though the snake handler was intending to be cruel or insensitive. Rather than post this as a question you should have explained that it bothered you. Don't get upset with people for giving opinions that you asked for.

I don't think the guy ment to be offensive,however it doesnt mean it it's you over reacting. It hurts when people point out differences in children. I would have been taken back by that comment as well. Sorry this happened to such a special boy.

So, where exactly where you?? The boys parents were not there? Why was he allowed to go onstage if he had mental issues as well? Was this "joke" in front of the entire crowd or just to the boy? Did the boy react at all?