Is Her Father the Only One Who Doesn't Know Her dr.s Name?

I wouldn't look for things to complain about. Instead, just work with what you have. If he isn't the type to remember things, just keep the emergency info handy on a card that he can keep in his wallet. The more pleasant you can be, especially about things like this, the more he will want to be around. If you keep looking for something to complain about, he will find someone else who is much happier to have him around.

Dad's just don't know that kind of stuff, usually. Mine doesn't remember ANYthing like that that he knows that I know. I don't know if they (men) view it as a duplication of effort, or what.. but they just accept that YOU (us moms) know it, and that's all they care about.. that someone does. That's why they married such a wonderful woman!
Just wait until she's not a baby anymore... he won't know when she last went to the dentist, what medication she has taken (when she is sick) or what the dosage is or anything. Nor when they have after school activities, unless they don't change for about 3 years in a row... then he'll know there is 'SOME'thing they have that afternoon... even if they don't know what time it starts/ends or what it actually is, lol.

It's normal. Don't judge him by it.
:)

I can't even remember my kid's birthdays, or my own mother's phone number or my husband's work phone. The only time I can find my kid's pediatrician's information is by Googling it. Does it mean I don't care? No, it means I don't have a good memory and have a lot on my plate.

Write the emergency information down on a little piece of paper, laminate it and put it in his wallet. Then, email him the information so he can have it on record in case he loses his wallet. In an emergency, he can give them your number and the pertinent information for the emergency at hand. Hospitals are pretty smart, they can usually figure stuff out without having a detailed list. If she has a major health condition, make sure he at least knows the basics of it or it is printed on his laminated card.

I have all important info written out and on the fridge. So in case of an emergency I do not need to remember, or freak out if I get it wrong as well as hubby can also know it without freaking out he is forgetting something. Also I have all important numbers in both of our cells, labeled as posion control, Child's Doc, and so on... that way it is just a quick push of the button.

Is hubby the one going to your child's doc? Is he the one make your child's appiontments? Is he the one picking up the medication? If no then he is not around the information as much as you so why would he remember it, I know my hubby does not know my daughter's doctor and when she was on formula he did not know which kind either. It is my role in our household to take care of all that, of course fore an emergency he needs the info so he has it on hand if ever needed (knock on wood he won't).

Hey girl, wow you guys are just going through it!! I saw a few of your posts and it just sounds like all the adjustment to life is making everyone a bit crazy. I don't know anything from his side of course but I do think you have to lighten up a little if you want this to all work. I mean he is a military man so he can't always control when and where he goes. You are still a very new mom and have had so much on your plate as well. I feel like you have a lot of resentment stored up and are ready to blow. I guess you should ask these questions, Does he love his daughter? Do you want to make things work? If the answer is yes to both questions, then just chill and give it time. Maybe there is more going on that you haven't posted and so there could be more trauma? But just going on your posts it sounds like everyone needs some peace. To answer a question from another post, I have no idea how military families do this, hopefully some of the military moms can help you out, I am in awe of all military spouses/significant others bc my husband has been traveling a bit and I miss him so much and it is so much harder without him! The main thing I would say is to remember that your man has feelings too. He has feelings about missing the birth of his daughter as well, whether he says it or not. He has parenting opinions that differ from yours? So what, you are two different people, doesn't make his ideas wrong, work it out without treating his ideas with disdain. As far as not knowing information, yeah, I would say that is common stuff. If you think it is super important for him to know all this info, how about writing it on a card and taping it to the cupboard so he could grab it in an emergency. I don't think that is any biggie and if you major on minors you will just make him feel useless and he will do less because you make him feel small. Men want to be a hero, and it sounds like you actually have one, literally;) If you guys do plan to marry I think some premarital counseling would do wonders, especially because you are already dealing with the drama of parenting before dealing with the drama marriage. My husband and I always say having kids will make you or break you!! You do have to team up and I think you have to realize that you are not the leader of the team dispensing information. Give him a chance to parent in his own style and in his own strength. Nagging gets old fast, imagine if he put all your flaws under a microscope, it wouldn't feel good. Hang in there and I truly wish you both the best!!

My husband met the pediatrician for the first time when our third child was born-our oldest was six. Not sure if he knew his name or not but I can assure you that he has NEVER taken any of the kids to the pedi-and they are now 12, 15, and 18!

nope, he's not the only one. welcome to reality!

Type this information and put it on your fridge, by the phone or wherever is handy plus a copy for the diaper bag. If he has a cell phone, put the pediatrician's number in it for him. My husband knows most things but asks me for details and the doctor's phone number. He is a very involved dad but is not as up on the details as I am. I had to write everything down when my mom was helping me a lot (after the second baby was born and I had a complicated c-section).

I like the idea below! I had to meet my husband at the ER when our 2 year old broke her leg this summer, he had told them her birthdate was 2005 (our 5 year old's birthday!). To buy things like formula and diapers I had to take a picture of the label/box/package with his phone so he could get the same one! I'm pretty sure he knows the name of the doctors office but not their individual doctor too, you're not alone!

haha....my husband does not know their dr's name. Although I am pretty sure that he knows where the dr is located. I have just told him about 1,000 times where their insurance cards are and that the number and name are on the card.
I often think that I just can't die because my husband doesn't know how I do anything....bills,dr, preschool, regular school, chores, laundry, LIFE!!! But you know what? I didn't know a lot of that stuff either until I had to learn, so I just breath and know that he is not a stupid man, and if I die...he'll figure it out!

In an emergency, he will tell them what happened to her. They wont need to do her formula. Her medication they likely can find by her medical record. AND, if she is on TRICARE and you all are on base, all the records are computerized. They punch in her name and viola! It appears.

Give Dad a break and get yourself some help to deal with all this stuff (all the posts your making). The military is hard for both Mom and Dad and the kids. I have twins with my husband and we are facing deployment with the nearest family 300 miles away. Suck it up, find resources and learn to deal with it. That is what military families do!

My husband doesn't always remember the name of our pediatrician, but he knows where to look to get the information. So I think it's more important that he knows how to find the information if needed rather than try and memorize everything. If you are that worried just program the pediatricians name and number into his phone.

My husband doesn't know. But - he does know where the physician's card it on the refrigerator so if anything happens he can take it with him! I also put it in his phone under pediatrician. I wouldn't expect yours to remember. It's not information they will use often, we hope!

The only reason my husband knows our kids' doctor's name is because the doctor is also *HIS* doctor. And it'd *still* take him 6 out of 7 guesses to get that right! :-S

He barely keeps our girls' names straight! When my oldest was in pre-school the DIRECTOR of the preschool (with > 200 kids at her facility) knew our daughters' schedules better than he did!

I personally think that the "Y" chromosone is incapable of paying attention to details...

BTW: I've known him for 27 years. We dated for 4. Engaged for 1 1/2. Married for 20. And have 2 girls, ages 17 and 13...

Oh, there's no way my husband would ever know this. Not that he doesn't care, he just doesn't think about this stuff. Thank goodness we have Kaiser, so he just has to take them to the same building where his doctor is, wander into Pediatrics, and hand over the kids' health care cards. All the kids' info is in the computer there, so I don't have to worry too much.

The other day I asked him if he could take our oldest to her orthodontist appointment, and he asked, "She goes to the orthodontist?" (Eyeroll)

Yes! Men do not know any of that stuff and a lot more. That is why they call us when they are freaked out..
Girl, you are stressed and worked up, you are mad that you have to shoulder lion's share of work....
Women do that all the time anywhere in the world, no matter how much help they get - because we are women, and the nature gave us this responsibility. You can be dragged into it kicking and screaming or you can proudly accept the responsibility and hold your head up high - your choice. But you still will have to do it. Once you became a mother- you will not rest until your days are over. Meditate, madicate - do whatever it takes to ballance yourself and take care of that girl of yours, she will be mommy some day and you are her model!
Hey, that is why men and women are not created equal. Men do not get pregnant, do not give birth or breastfeed, do not get so in sinc with the baby that they can almost feel it. Remember Pocahontas? She was a guide for bunch of guys in the mountains with an infant on her back!!!! Imagine that! They rode horses, she walked! God only knows when and how she took care of that baby and she kept her milk going....
Get proud, get strong.... Women bend and not brake,

Good luck!

ok decided to respond to this one as well after seeing the others. Ok first things first...Men usually don't know these things bc they usually aren't the ones to take them to the pedi. If they do then it's mom that prob doesn't know pedi. It doesn't mean they don't care it means that there is a lot on his/her plate. My husband asks me every time one of our kids has a dr appt who the pedi is, "What's his name again?" It's not that big of a deal.

Not for sure but I get the impression not only is this your first but that you are also young. You are freaking out about a lot and way over stressed. I was a single mom from pregnancy till my son was 5. It can be done. Some mom's do it much longer. I'm not a military wife but when their spouse is deployed they are a single parent. The two of you have a lot to work out if you are wanting to be in it for the long run. If yall talk and decide you won't work, that's fine. You'll still have the Tricare for your daughter and can set up visitation and child support. He's here at least another year so 2012 shouldn't even be a concern right now. You still have over a year to prepare for it. That's actually pretty lucky because not all military gets that much notice. A lot can be done or prepared in a year. Whether you stay together or not you take care of your child and everything else. Your first priority is your child and her needs, then yours, then everything else. Yes your life changes and adjustments are made just because you have a baby. Job, life style, even friends change after having a baby. You figure out what you need to do and how to do it then take it day by day. There is no point in stressing over small things and YES these are all small things. My mother has always told me that life is way too short to be angry or stress over the small stuff and you never know when the end is. My mother and best friend both have lost their father at the age of 20. The night my BF's father died she pulled him out of a bar drunk and he yelled at her for getting in his business. It's time to chill out, grow up and get to this list of things you need to do.