Is He Seeking Attention? Depressed? or Does He Have ADD?

Hello - he sounds very similar to our son. The outburst saying we do not love him and he hates his life really got to me. He only did them when it was time to do homework and he did not want to do it (every night practically). I started him seeing a child psychiatrist and I have to say it was extremely helpful. He saw her all this year (ages 9/10) and it made a huge difference. She really worked with him on his rage, anger, outbursts and on him taking responsibility for things he HAS to do in life. Is your son unable to focus if it is something he wants to do? Or only when it is something he really does not care to do? Part of this is a maturity thing for our son and the other part is his personality (he's stubborn, wants to argue/manipulate to get his way, strong willed, quick to anger, etc). Anyway, things are better after seeing her for a year. We now have stopped having him see her, but we may start again next year if we feel like he needs it.

Keeping things clean, staying focused - he's 6.

Rage? That's an issue. Talk to your pediatrician and the school counselor. He sounds like he's feeling stressed out. Find out why.

If he's had longstanding problems with focus, it could be ADHD-inattentive type. Rages are quite common in kids with ADHD.

However, the only way to figure out what's going on (and it very well may be something else entirely) is to start with the pediatrician. Mention what's going on and see if a referral to a child psychiatrist or therapist is in order. Specialists are in the best position to determine what may be going on.

Good luck!

I think you need to get an honest, unbiased opinion from a child psychologist.

Make an appointment with a psychologist that is certified to do evaluations for a diagnosis.

The teacher has had many many children in her care and she does have a good idea of abnormal behavior. She is not a professional diagnostician of course but she has a LOT of experience with kids.

Have him evaluated so you are sure whether he has anything or not.
If he's imitating bad examples on tv - turn off the tv - end of problem.
Kids don't need to watch a whole lot of tv so really limit what he watches.
6 yr old (and 7 and 8 yr olds for that matter) need reminding.
It's just the way it is.
You also have to sit down with them so they do their homework.
They won't be more independent about it till 4th or 5th grade.
Some of this is that you're expecting him to act older than he is.
He's 6.
Most of his behavior is pretty typical of any 6 yr old.
If he's really good at mimicry, consider getting him involved in local acting classes/productions.
Take his talent and channel it into something positive.

"My 6.5 year old used to love school, before the common core started stressing him out."

Your son knows what Common Core is? Why? How is that stressing him out?

Almost everything else you mentioned actually sounds pretty common. But I do that sometimes. When I explain things to other people I somehow make it sound not as bad/urgent as it is, so I'm assuming it's more than the norm.

I would start by talking to your pediatrician. Do your best to summarize your concerns, let him/her know that you would like to have your son evaluated by a child behavioral psychologist. That's really the person you want to talk to. That's the person who can listen to your concerns, ask the right questions (to dig deeper or alleviate some of your fears), observe your son, ask him questions, maybe have him do some tests and really just gather the information needed to make a diagnosis, if one is warranted.

ADHD/ADD/Autism - these are all diagnosis that get thrown around. They are very real and very important to those who do receive that diagnosis. But there are actually many, many other things that can be diagnosed that you don't hear often. You definitely want to make sure if you child has a condition (is that the right word) that you get a proper and accurate diagnosis! So do ask for the referral and really listen to what the doctor says. An accurate diagnosis is what you want.

Your post sends up a red flag to me -- it reads as if you are so concerned to find a reason for his behaviors that you are almost diagnosing him yourself -- but you need a qualified and experienced specialist, who deals with kids this age all the time, to do the evaluating here. You have seized on the idea of ADD and twice you mention that you "feel" he may have ADD. He might have it, yes, but what you "feel" doesn't matter; you need to have him evaluated and you also must be ready to hear whatever the doctor or specialist or psychologist has to say -- if the answer you get is not ADD (or ADHD), will you accept that and move on from there, or will you stick to "But I feel like it's ADD...."?

Please be open to listening to whatever the right professional says.

Also, please re-read your post and try to see that your own focus is off base. You talk about inability to keep his desk or room neat, and about his imitating TV characters and his lack of interest in school. Any of those could be very typical of any normal kid his age. But the rage -- that is serious stuff, yet it's mixed in with all the other things you list.

Raging can be a part of ADD, but there are also a host of other things that could be behind his rages. He needs to be evaluated now, not later. I know kids who have had anxiety and other issues, but not ADD or ADHD, who had anger issues and rages.

Do let him see the school counselor -- you mention that you talked to him about it but did he ever actually see the counselor? Have you, yourself, had a talk with counselor (without your son there) to discuss what you talk about here? It's crucial for you to be in close touch with the counselor yourself before your son sees him or her, so the counselor knows the concerns. But at the same time, get a referral to a psychologist who specializes in younger kids and have him evaluated -- don't just wait to see what the school counselor says. Approach this on both fronts.

He sounds like a typical 6 1/2 year old to me. Easily distracted, doesn't enjoy keeping things neat and clean, not fond do following rules ... all of that is very, very common.

It's his teacher's job to remind him, but just because he gets reminded often doesn't necessarily mean he's doing this any more than many of the other boys.

Out son is I first grade and got in trouble the other day for being too loud in the bathroom. Fine! He should get in trouble. Now, I'm not concerned, because lots of kids his age get excited and their voices escalate and they get loud. Still, he needs to be reminded that this is not ok.

Keep working with him and working with the teacher, but don't be alarmed. This really could be just your average early elementary stuff.

I'm a little concerned that you mentioned Common Core. Common Core is the latest fad. Schools (well politicians :-) are always trying something new - standards, benchmarks, common core. This is not your concern. The teachers may try teaching differently than what we had growing up, but this is not your concern and certainly shouldn't be something your son is aware of.

I wonder if this is concerning you a bit much and maybe you are pressuring him to be too perfect.

Relax, mention your concerns to your ped, and just keep communicating with his teacher. If there is something more than your typical 6 1/2 year old, talking to your ped is a really important place to star.

So let him talk to the counselor. Something is bothering him. Do it soon!

Boys often have problems with the prevailing school model. I suggest you enroll him in an alternative school. Charter schools are free public schools. Research the ones in your area.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&...

And I agree with Patricia -- he's only six. School shouldn't be stressing him out. "Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire."

not all add kids present hyper. some are very lazy and have no will to do anything. are you sure theres nothing going on at school? please show me a 6.5 year old that can keep their desk straight. my 7 year old is in the top 5 of her class and her desk is a mess. i dont know much about this common core stuff. they use it here and some of the work is confusing and im not sure if i tell my daughter how to do it right.
sit down and talk with your son. tell him that this behavior needs to stop (the angry and lying). ask him why hes not paying attention. does he not understand the work or is he bored.
as far as keeping his room cleaned. give him a time limit an hour before bed. say you have 15 mins to straighten your room up before bed. that means toys put away and clothes in the hamper etc. name a consequence if he doesnt get it done. no computer after school, no tv, anything you see fit.