Is Having Fear of Dying Normal?

I have never had that fear. As a matter of fact, I fear my body and mind will give out before my heart leaving me dependent upon others for my care.

Having a baby - becoming a mother - is a major life change.
You're going to be totally responsible for a tiny helpless human life.
And that can be scary.
Deep down we have a fear of how adequate we'll be.
Then the baby comes, we fall in love and they have us wrapped round their little fingers and toes.
We learn a LOT in the first few weeks and then we get confident that we can DO this - and we're all going to be alright!

A little fear is normal - a whole lot of fear and anxiety isn't.
I'd talk to your doctor about your anxiety attacks at your next checkup.

Pregnancy is a major life change, and so is having a baby. On top of that, your hormones are going nuts and you're probably having mood swings.

You've heard of postpartum depression I'm sure, but now there is a major effort to have doctors screen women earlier for things like anxiety and depression. So on Monday, call your OB/GYN and say you have these fears, and ask what to do. You may benefit from seeing a counselor short-term - your doctor can give you a referral to someone who accepts your insurance. Together, a counselor and a doctor can help you decide if there is a safe medication you might consider, but even if you don't, talking out the issue with a pro can really help set your mind at ease. This is as important as eating right and taking your prenatal vitamins and all the other things you are doing to have a healthy baby.

sigh.
another one sentence question wanting a fix for a topic that's just huge.
most thoughtful people think about dying sometimes, and yes, the prospect of death, especially when we have kids to consider, is scary and can produce some anxiety.
a sudden two week onset of severe anxiety and disproportionate fear of death is not 'normal.'
the pregnancy hormones can sometimes get out of whack and produce this sort of not-normal thinking. but with zero information as to the degree to which it's affecting your life, who knows whether or not you have the normal degree of abnormality, or if you're a danger to yourself and your child.
either add useful information or expect broad useless answers.
khairete
S.

Is it normal? Hmmm, not sure about that.

What I can say is, you are about to go through a major life change. Your body's been going through major changes (and continues to go through them). "Funny" things happen when our bodies are going through these changes.

I can relate to having anxiety thoughts at times. What I can say is, make sure to communicate these feelings to your husband, so that he can be aware if you go through any kind of post-partum depression. That CAN happen and it's real and should be taken very seriously.

I'd also make your OBGYN aware that you are having some of these feelings of fear. They've seen it all and perhaps can offer some voice of hope and validation.

When I was pregnant with my son (first pregnancy), I frequently dreamed that I gave birth to a baby the size of a paper clip, and I'd set him down and forget where he was. I dreamed that I put him in a jewelry box of earrings and lost track of him.

(That wasn't funny when he was born weighing nearly 10 pounds).

Being a mom, by whatever means (birth, adoption, foster care, assuming legal care of grandchildren, loving a niece or nephew) also means a certain amount of fear.

When we were teens, or 20- or 30- or 40-somethings, before we had children, we were caught up in our looks, our style, our jobs, our careers, our education goals, our boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives/lovers/partners, our rent payments, our diets...

But then this little baby comes crashing into our world. We experience a love we never imagined, a joy unspeakable, fears we never knew, pain when that baby or child feels hunger or a wet diaper or a fever or a fight with their best friend, or rejection or despair or their first breakup with their first crush or the final breakup with the love of their lives. We feel the desire to protect them from all the hurts in the world.

Please know that your dreams mean you're developing a mother's heart. It's a joy beyond description, a pain beyond words. When they look at you with such trusting innocent eyes, you feel such peace. They grab your finger, lay their head on your breast, breathe when you breathe. When they say their first "no" (accompanied by foot-stomping) at age 2, or tell you you're a horrible mother because you won't let them skip curfew or go to a party when they're 12, you feel such heartache.

But it's worth it. Yes, there will be medical emergencies, fights, tears, joy, fear, dread, loss, relief, pride, shame, despair, hope. But there's nothing like the love that a mother has for her child, through the good times and the bad. Your dreams mean that you're preparing to love this child no matter what. Your dreams are your strength.

There's a love beyond words waiting for you. Of course there will be difficult days. But that love perseveres and triumphs.

its a mother thing. i used to not really be afraid of anything short of snakes and drowning, those fears have always been there. now im scared of hights, i used to love them, small spaces, speeding and other vehicles, i used to do really dumb things on the road...i always knew what could come of it, and i knew what i was doing was stupid, but i didnt care. as soon as i got pregnant that changed. of course when i had life in me i worried because if something happened to me it happened to my baby, but it doesnt stop later. now when i get scared for what should be my saftey, i cant see anything but leaving my children and them having to go through the pain of a funeral. so yes, i think its normal.

When I was pregnant with my third I started having major anxiety and panic attacks. I'd never has anxiety before. It went away in the third trimester and I haven't experienced it since, so maybe it will go away for you too. I guess for me it was hormones. (that was my only girl, btw, is your baby a girl? I've wondered if that was related)

I think it's very normal. Not only are you facing a situation that does sometimes, tho very infrequently, cause death, you're much more influenced by your hormones. Your whole world is changing. I suggest that, when we're anxious/fearful about many things, we focus those fears on one simpler thing.

I green that you should talk with your doctor/nurse practioner/midwife. They'll have more experience in answering your question and what will help you manage your fear.

I have that fear before every surgery. I've had several surgeries. Over time, i've learned how to reduce the effect this fear has on me. Repeated several surgeries taught me that I'm extremely unlikely to do. I repeat a mantra over and over as often as I need to help me relax. "I'm safe!"

Before my first surgery, my nurse told me I had a better chance of being killed crossing the street than I had with surgery. Reminding myself of that helped me be less fearful with each surgery.

As I've aged, I've had times I feared death. Fortunately, not so much now. I remember fearing death as a child. Death is always a possibility. We learn to accept it and put the possibility in perspective. I suggest that you focus on the happiness and love you feel for this baby.