Is Declining an Already Accepted Job Offer Going to Burn a Bridge?

As an HR Manager, 10 weeks is entirely too long for the hiring process. I would bet a dollar they hired someone else and 1. they either quit or 2 got fired. So why if you didn't make it the first time, what changed? Big red flag! Yes, you would burn a bridge with me and you would NOT be considered for another position in our company.

Quality of life is very important. I commute about the same an hour to hour and one half. Each way every day. Train is not an option for me because I live in Houston. $5K more? For that commute? NO WAY. Again, think of quality of life. I would take less to work closer to my home or out of my home.

If it were me, I would stay with Company B. I would tell Company A, "thank you so much for the offer; however, I received and accepted another offer:. You don't owe them anything more than that.

As a business owner, yes I believe you would be burning a bridge. You would lose credibility with me and I would opt NOT to consider you for employment again.

Company A sounds indecisive to me. There is a reason they are dragging their feet and that could mean they are opting to "try you out" and if it does not work out, no harm done to them you but you are pretty screwed as far as you other offer. It does not sound like you are confident that Company A will stand by the promises made during interviews. This tells me you don't trust them or somehow have an uneasy feeling about Company A.

A biggie for me would be the commute. So what if you are in a train vs driving.... is your time of 2-4 extra hours away from family a day for a commute worth the $5000 to you? Having more time available to be with my family would be worth more than $5000, getting up and out earlier, getting home later, missing children's events and activities, etc.

So my two cents worth is that it would be a no brainer for me... Company B which is more established and likely better job security.

Why aren't you considering going to B and seeing if you want to go to A later on?

Go work at B, and then if you find you miss A re-apply to A in a year or two. You'll have "more experience" - isn't that what A wanted, and it might encourage A to make you a much better offer.

Go with B.

I feel this company matches your comfort level better. Company A sounds like it could be hit or miss. Not worth giving up on company B.

I wonder if you could let company B know that A offered you a job with more money/insurance, yet let B know you feel you would be happier working at company B.

edit: company really wanted you, i think you would be worth the extra insurance/money too. if you think you are worth it, i am sure they do too.

edit: I also think letting company A know while you were waiting 10 weeks to hear from them, another company offered you a job. Company A does not really want you (according to you) and they even told you they are settling for you. Everything about company A makes them sound unprofessional. Company B noticed you as an asset and let you know right away. Company A will have issues getting anything done with all their red tape.

Go with how your gut feels on this one. That long commute is going to get old fast. Company A seems to make a lot of 'we'll think about this' promises which really aren't promises you can count on.

I was in the same type of position and ended up taking the job closer to home just so I could be there if something happened with the kids and the shorter commute allowed me to spend more time with them and their activities. It worked out better for me and my family lifestyle.

I agree with the others - 4 months is a REALLY long time to "wait and see" if you are going to get a job offer. For all you know, you weren't their first choice - their first choice might have not waited that long and turned it down as well.

It does sound like you were Company B's first choice. That bodes well for you and their vision for you at their company.

That, combined with the commute, would push me to pick Company B. The slightly higher pay would actually be less (it sounds like) with commute time difference. Plus, I guess I'm a little old school . . . you already made a commitment to Company B so I kind of feel like you have to honor it.

Good luck and congrats no matter what you decide - the good news is that two places want you! That has to feel pretty good :)

As a recruiter and staffing manager? Yes. You would burn a bridge with me. That's 10 weeks of MY time making sure you are still active and involved/engaged and pushing your resume through the process.

$5K per year? Is $416 BEFORE taxes on a monthly basis. You're in California, that means you'd get about $275 per month more PER MONTH.

You need to talk with the recruiter from Company A - IMMEDIATELY. You need to tell them what is going on.

I know the process isn't easy nor fast. It sucks. I bust my butt to ensure that you are kept informed.If the recruiter didn't reach out to you weekly? That's THEIR problem. However, they need to know what's going on.

Make a decision.

I agree with Cha cha.

If it were me, I would go with the more established company with the established client list. They obviously want you and feel you are the best fit.

I would have a hard time going with a company (A) who wasn't sure I was qualified enough. They already have doubts. To me, not so great a fit.

As an outsider just reading the facts, I would go with Company B, hands down. I see nothing in Company A that would drive me to want to work for them. The extra $5K would not even be a blip on my radar given all the cons of Co. A. I would simply turn down Co. A, stating that you have accepted another offer during the time they took to decide, and put your effort into starting anew at Co. B. Personally, I would not even entertain the idea of working at a place like Co. A.

While it sounds like a long time to process? I would say yes, you are burning a bridge.

Commutes are important to consider as well. Talk with the recruiter and tell him or her what is going on. Don't make them wait. Yes, I know they made you wait. Tyler's position here in GA took about 3 months from start to finish. Th recruiter told him straight up "this is not a fast process. The client takes their time. it can take up to 4 months." Since we knew the process was long, we planned accordingly.

My husband hired someone who did that. That person's name was mud after that and he made sure others knew the person's name. You'll damage your reputation.

Also, as someone who took a job from a company that had a ridiculous four-month hiring process, run! Company A is indecisive and disorganized or they hired someone else who didn't work out. In either situation, you don't want to work there. I stayed only about a month at the mistake job after realizing I wasn't even a match to the job. It was every bit as disorganized as I feared and there were people there who clearly didn't want me to be hired.

Stick with your original acceptance of the offer with company B.

Yes, you will burn a bridge if you leave Company B so quickly. I am a former recruiter and, if that happened where I worked, you would not have ever even gotten another interview. Employers don't have the time and resources to invest in training someone that they can't trust will stay around for awhile.

From how you described it, Company B still sounds like a great opportunity. You might be able to introduce new technologies there. If you're the lead on a mobile app, you're going to have a lot of opportunities to create something amazing and show them what kind of work you can do.

A 1.5 hour commute every day is LONG. My husband did it three times a week for a couple of years (two hours one way by train) and it was awful. He was exhausted all the time.

You need to go with your gut and do what you think is going to make you happiest. But yes, you will absolutely burn the bridge with Company B.

This happened to my husband many years ago. It sounds SO similar! It was a hard decision for him, but he decided to go with the more established company.

It was the best decision he could have made. The other group (your company A) was not only chaotic, but didn't keep their word to the fellow who did accept that job. There were egos involved and mispresentations.

Stay with company B...

There is nothing in the world that would make me take a job with a 1.5 hour commute here in the Bay Area. Seriously, no amount of money. So I'd go with Company B myself. I'm guessed you'd be commuting on CalTrain? If so, it's really quite lovely IMO. BART, not so much. Bleah.

What's the deal with the health insurance though? If you can't insure your kids then what will you do for
Insurance for them?

Take the offer from Company B. That commute is a bear. I don't even care that you will be on a train. It's time away from your home and family for a measly $5,000.00. I've had a job with a one way commute of 1 hour or more. It sucks!. Your exhausted all the time and miss out on a ton of things. No job is worth it.

Those people at Company A with the 10 years of experience may not be moving on any time soon and that may mean limited job growth. There has to be other ways to learn in your industry.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bushes.

I would stick with B and just be truthful with A. Tell them you accepted another job offer while waiting on them and you feel it would not be ethical to turn B down now that you already accepted. To me, the little bit extra that A is offering does not outweigh the big commute. Anyway, you may find a year or so down the line that A calls you back again because they were impressed with your ethics - and maybe by then they are established enough to make a better offer.

Personally, if I were the hiring manager at B and you reneged on me after accepting, I would be pretty pissed off. You would definitely make my Do Not Hire Ever list after that. But that's just me.

As someone who has been involved in numerous job searches at my institution, I can say that I certainly would not consider offering a position at a later date to someone who accepted an offer and then changes her/his mind a few days later because something better came along. Company B probably has already told the other candidates no, and it will be hard to get their second choice. So I think yes, you will burn bridges with them. But I'm in academia, not a corporation, and maybe things work differently in the business world

From what you describe, it really seems to me that you like the feel of company B better, that it meshes better with the rest of your life and is calmer. They might not be at the head of the pack in development now, however perhaps you could be among their mid-level folks who helps move them along the path. Anyway, I'm just echoing what I hear in your post, not trying to advise you what to do. Good luck with the decision! Two job offers is infinitely better than none.

I'm not going to weigh in on which it better but I would say yes, in all likelihood, if you turn down B's offer now, you have probably burned that bridge. I doubt you could go back to them in a year or two if company A doesn't work out.

I can tell you right now that a commute every day to and from work, each and every day, would drive me nuts. I would be missing out on everything my family had going on.

You would be working to live and not working so you can have a better life with your family.

Stick with your gut. Obviously Company A has a long commute and your are already talking about leaving, working closer etc. You already accepted Company B, and are taking yourself out of Company A. If you decline a job to go work for the competition then yes it could be burning a bridge. I. This case I would go with company B. Company A seems wishy washy, and would easily dump you for a more talented experience developer.

So what did you decide??

One of the stories of life.... No job for months, then several job offers. No weekend plan for months, then two invites for every Saturday in the near future. I always go with the first offered. I'm too afraid of karma.

What's your time worth? $5,000 extra hardly seems worth an hour and half commute.
I would not want to burn the bridge with company B as you described it.

It's ain't over till the fat lady sings.
Meaning - until someone signs on as an actual employee - anything can and does happen.
In fact - where I worked - we had people come, stay 6 months, and leave - some places have a high turn over rate.
It might be annoying to a recruiter - and that's a consideration - but you have to do what's right for you.
For me - a longer commute would irk me.
I never want to feel like I'm living my life on the road/train/etc.
If any promises made in interviews - you need to get it in writing and make it part of your contract.
If they aren't willing to put in in writing - the promises aren't likely to ever come about.

Just with the commute alone my vote goes with company b. What does your gut tell you? Either one you turn down is probably out of the question for the future.