Is Anyone Married to Someone on the Spectrum (Autism)?

I am not, but I have worked with plenty of people who may very well be on the spectrum and one person who talks about it openly. These are all high-functioning people working in a corporate environment, but the folks I'm thinking of tend to work in "behind the scenes" roles such as IT, pension analytics, fund accounting, etc. Very bright, very good at what they do (and what they do usually has a very narrow focus - an inch wide but a mile deep), but quirky and a bit (or a lot) socially awkward. Most are married, some have children. All are highly educated and are well paid.

My guess is that there are a lot of adults out there who were never diagnosed. As this generation grows up and joins the work force, it will be more visible, just like it is more visible in school now than when we were kids. I think it's similar to ADHD, which 20 years ago probably wasn't really acknowledged or talked about in the workplace but now is so common that it's not a big deal. I have several colleagues with ADHD who were diagnosed as children or young adults, and another batch who got diagnosed after their own kids were.

I recently read an article about how some technologies specifically recruit, train and support employees with Autism because many have unique skill sets that are very valuable in a technology company. The article is below:

http://articles.philly.com/2016-04-04/business/72017462_1...

I am quite certain my former boss was on the spectrum. He is now retired and I bet he was never diagnosed. He was brilliant in many ways but he just never seemed to get sarcasm or jokes.

I remeber once I made brownies and he said he didn't want any. I said but you have to have one, they are home made. He looked at me with a very serious demeanor and said "I really have to have one?" 😊

He was married with brilliant children and had a successful career.

my cousin is a junior in college and is high functioning. he has a job and does well wilth life. his main thing is social awkwardness. he does not bond well with others and prefers to be alone. ( he is studying to make video games and doing well) he is always playing video games and does well instructing my kids on how to play them too but as a general rule he does not do well socializing with others. so while he will be a great adult and be fine in society, i doubt he will ever marry.

My ex, not that he has been officially diagnosed it is just my son's doctor is, tree, apple. The only reason he is employed is he works for his family business and actually does a poor job of that. When he feels like working he is amazing, when he is not, god help his coworkers. He says and does things that are so, well show total lack of boundaries. That his mother raised him to be a total narcissist the lack of remorse makes him unlikable.

I have ADD and say some stupid things from time to time but when someone says did you mean to say that I feel like a heal, I apologize, I try to explain. Not my ex, he makes it your fault, that there is something wrong with you that you took offence with his totally offensive comment. Doesn't make his life easy at all.

Does give me an example to use with my son of why he wants to work to not be dad.

I want to add, looking at the other answers, I really believe my ex's biggest problem is not the autism, it was how he was raised to think everything he did or said was fine and everyone else had the problem. He went up to an old L. at bingo who had a reasonable complaint yelling two inches from her face eff you you c... Without the editing. I can't remember his thinking behind that but it was her fault he lost his temper. No way that was an over the top reaction to asking if the caller could slow down a bit.

I think my husband has a toe in the pool 

I have a website – autistikids.com – that’s a “hub” of blogs written by autistic people from all around the spectrum on all kinds of subjects. You can search the site, click a post that looks interesting, and then search THEIR site for info.

Also, visit autistikids on facebook – lots of links to adult autistic people with facebook pages. One of my favorites is Karla’s ASD page (mom, autistic, works at intel, shares a LOT of great info).

Feel free to IM me if you like and I’ll see what else I can find.

Both of my sons are autistic, and I suspect my husband is as well. He was not officially diagnosed with it though. His mother was the type of person to say there was nothing wrong with her kids ever and that they were perfect. His school wanted to have him evaluated after his second year in kindergarten but his mother took offense to it and told them to stay out of their business. I feel if his mother would have accepted that her son was different and allowed him to get the help he needed he would be better off today. Now I get to deal with all his weird little "quirks" on top of raising 2 boys that are exactly like him. He has no social skills at all, only has one friend, doesn't understand jokes or sarcasm, says some really weird things sometimes (for example, I asked him to feed the cat one day and he replied with "I can't, she'll run out of food." it was like he had no concept of the fact that he could just go buy more food when she was done), and the only reason he is employed is because he works for his father. His father is ready to retire and wants to leave the business to him, but he is not capable of running it. His father doesn't want me to help him run it either (his family doesn't like me). I fear the day his father decides to sell the business because my husband will be out of work. He tried to leave that job and work somewhere else, but he got wrote up all the time, bullied by other employees, and eventually got fired after 4 months because he simply couldn't remember and follow directions. I made him go to a therapist to try to figure out if he was in fact autistic, but she pretty much said that if he was that there was no help for him because he is an adult now and his brain is set in its ways. I don't believe this is true. I am going to school to become a psychiatrist, mainly to help my sons with their daily life challenges, but I hope to figure out a way to help my husband as well.

A gal I grew up with is married to a man who has been officially diagnosed as being on the spectrum. I don't think she has officially been diagnosed, but I think she may also be on the spectrum. The have 6 or 7 kids. She is a stay at home mom and homeschools. Her husband worked as a chef for several years. Now I think he works in business. He is also an elder in their church.

I live in a community with lots of researchers in the medical field and a lot of people who work in the technology industry. Some of them have been diagnosed as being on the spectrum. It has been commented that many others would probably have been diagnosed as being on the spectrum when they were younger. But, that wasn't as common then. They were just considered odd or weird. But, because they are so focused on their interests they are amazing at their jobs. Many of them are married and have kids.

In our community we also have three organizations that provide job training for people with disabilities. I used to work for one of them. We had several clients who were on the spectrum and a little lower functioning. Many of them held jobs in the community on cleaning crews or dishroom crews. A couple worked as teacher aides at my kids' day care. Many of them live in group homes throughout our community. They are involved in adaptive sports and classes. They volunteer throughout the community. They have dances and parties. Many of them have a more active social life than I've ever had!

Pretty sure my ex had ADHD but wasn't officially diagnosed although I begged our doctor to have him checked out and he just laughed at me at the time.

My 16 yo daughter is Asperger's/ADD and the psych said she should do very well in her chosen profession. Mostly because when she is interested in something it's the ONLY thing she can think and talk about and totally engulfs herself in it. So the example the psych gave was if she was a pilot, not only would she know how to fly the plane and everything about it, but would likely know all the details of each airport and everyone else's job duties as well. She does that now with her hobbies.

We have a "friend" at church who is 36, recently married and it's very clear he is Asperger's as well. He works for his parents and will likely just stay there although his wife would like him to make more money. Because of his lack of social skills, she knows he has a better chance staying working with his parents than with someone else so she has accepted this is his limit. They are currently trying to have a baby and seem to be doing well as newlyweds.

Happened to see on Netflix a documentary on this. Autism in Love. I don't have any experience but remembered your question.