L.C.
Is your friend married or single? I am single, currently going through donor egg fertility treatments, but have been researching adoption as my plan b.
Here's what I've found out:
Domestic adoption is becoming increasingly difficult, but not impossible, for singles due to open birth adoption where the birth mom selects the parents. Birth moms often want couples. I know a woman who works at the Cradle, a well known agency, and she said that for singles the outlook is really bad at her agency.
Domestic private adoption is the best route for singles. Yes, it will cost a lot of money, but with private adoption a single is more likely to be matched sooner. Some people do domestic private adoption through an adoption attorney, who advertises for birth moms and matches. They usually only have a small number of clients and won't take more than a handful of singles because so many birth moms want to give their child to a couple.
There's domestic agency adoption, in which you go through an agency, such as The Cradle. Again, very hard for singles.
Then there are places that are facilitators. If I go to adoption I will go through adopthelp.com, which is a facilitator. They advertise nationally for birth moms, which means they have more of them. They also try to match the client and birth moms as opposed to just having a waiting list where you start at the bottom. About 20 percent of their matches annually are with singles. They charge: $4K retainer for admin work (screening of birth moms, etc.), $8K for advertising (they have an ad agency they work with), and then the birth mom expenses which you decide how much you're willing to reimburse - at least $3K as much as $7K. It's up to you to decide. State law only allows you to reimburse the mom for certain expenses. One tip someone told me is to let them know that you are only wanting to be matched with women who are six months or further, that way you have less time for the birth mom to incur expenses. Also, if you're willing to be matched with last-minute placements i.e. birth moms who decide to give up their child at nine months or after birth, you will incur almost no birth mom costs.
The good thing about adopthelp.com is that although they are pricey, they have one of the highest placement rates in the country, especially for singles, and they don't wait for you to do a homestudy to put you on the list. As soon as you pay your fees and have a birthmom letter written, you go onto their list of parents to match with. Then you have to do the homestudy locally through an agency (another $1,500).
Don't forget that the current tax credit for adoption is $11,500 - it's not a deduction - it's a credit. So if you spend $20K on adoption, you will get $11.5K of that back. In addition, there are grants you can apply for - free money: http://www.everythingforadoption.com/adoption-101.asp, http://www.giftofadoption.org/, http://www.helpusadopt.org/.
I'm not sure what race or age your friend is looking to adopt, but the cheapest way to adopt is to go through DCFS - you will have to pay for the home study, but otherwise you only have to pay the legal fees which are maybe $2K and with those you can often find lawyers who work pro bono and won't charge you. In addition, when you adopt through DCFS, the child's medical coverage is paid for by the state and you get a stipend to help pay for daycare, etc. However, many kids in DCFS have physical/emotional problems - something that could be very challenging for a single parent. That's why I won't go through DCFS - single parenting will be hard enough without taking on a child with special needs.
Anyway, hope this helps. Your friend can e-mail me at ____@____.com if he has more questions.
L.