In-laws

I have been married for 3 years to my husband and have known him and dated on and off for 13 years. The interesting thing is that no matter how close you think you are to the sister-in-laws, they always have a way of reminding you that you started out as the outsider and that IS their brother that you married. That is not to say that they don't love you, or want you in the family, or still want a closeness to you. However they never just come out and say that they just want to spend time with their brother when sometimes that is the case. I have encountered many situations like this and I think they just don't think they have to explain to us that they just want their brother from time to time...especially when it's their big brother. I say don't be offended. It happens from time to time, I would and have said something to the affect of "what, did you guys forget about me?" just to see what the responce is, but that is just my personality:>)

I have to say I agree with all the other women whom have responded. I think your sister-in-law just wants to spend time with her brother. It's not always about us, so don't take it so personal. Keep close with your sister-in-law you both may need each other someday.
God Bless

You answered your own question in your "statement about yourself". Your husband is gone alot in the military, and he might be going overseas soon.?? How about giving your husband and his sister some time together. Often we forget that there is so much more history with siblings than there is between husband & wife. The years, combined with the bond with the parents (or lack thereof), keeps siblings connected--as it should be. I am sure you are extremely close with your sister in law, and I am sure that she meant no harm by wanting to spend time with her brother. If you are struggling with being at home alot with your own children, try setting some times to do things that you enjoy..ASK for family to babysit, DON'T feel guilty about it, go out with your friends. Scheduling something for yourself 1 to 2 times a week (a walk, go tanning, a lunch date with a girlfriend, window shopping..whatever) will keep you energized and refreshed for all the time you do spend and dedicate to your family. Good luck to you

For what its worth my two cents worth...
I understand that you are hurt. In-laws tend to hurt our feelings when we least expect it. Although, based on your comments maybe she just wanted a little one on one time with her brother. Since he is gone alot and leaving again in February she might see this as her chance to spend a little one on one time with him. She might have planned this specifically to his love of the game and a bonus to have him to herself. I think if this is an isolated incident then don't worry, however if it continues you might have to have a one on one conversation with her. Sometimes especially (in-laws) don't understand how much they can hurt you. Hope this helps.

Hi R.,
Well, just from my perspective, I am very close to my brother, and don't get to see him very much, and sometimes we go see a football game together as we both enjoy that alot. Maybe it's just a case of sister missing brother? I know that my brother's wife is not very into going to games...perhaps she wasn't sure if you would enjoy it so much, or perhaps she just needed a "brother" fix, ya know? And the fact that he's being deployed might have something to do with it? Anyways, I would say try not to read anything negative or personal into it.
Hope all turns out well,
L.

I say plan an event for yourself and your husband and make her babysit. Who knows about intentions or what she really thinks, and in a way, who cares?

I am also a military spouse who just survived a deployment with a 3 year old and a newborn. I KNOW the single mom feeling and how hard it is. If you want to comiserate, feel free to write me. The bottom line is while he is gone, you may need her help with something, you never know, so try not to alienate her. I know with my own in-laws, I do a lot of biting my tongue just because I have had to depend on them for a few things. Get a diary, vent all your frustrations into it, and then if it really gets to you, burn it and roast marshmallows. You have to do what you have to do to keep your sanity while he's gone and be there for your girls.

I agree with Jami. With your husband being gone so often, your sister-in-law probably just wanted to spend some time with him when she had the chance. Respect their relationship and give them some time to do things together. In the meantime, get a babysitter or someone reliable in the family to watch your kids while you go out and do something for yourself. Is there a class you might want to take? Or do you have a hobby (sewing, painting, gardening, pottery)? Do you have many friends in the area? If not, try to meet with some other moms in the area through local clubs or volunteering so you won't feel so isolated, especially when your husband is gone. The base where you are stationed has many resources. Contact your family support center to see what type of activities/resources are available to you. The arts & crafts center on base also has classes regularly. Check in with them from time to time. Best of luck to you.

I've been married two and a half years now and my relationship with my in-laws is like a roller coaster. My sister-in-law and I really didn't get along until we both became new mommies. At first it was a jealously thing, because we got married first and had a happy family life going. Things are great between us now because she found her happiness. Remember there is always another side to the story. Try to find out what hers is. Also, having siblings myself that I don't get to see much either; the time I get with them is precious and sometimes we just want it to be us. No hard feelings though.

It sounds like your sister in law simply wanted to go to the game with her brother. She probably doesn't get to see him much because of his military career. Don't let that bother you. You might want to invite her to do something together now that your husband is out of town for 4 months.

Pat from Illinois, 54 years old. Girl, you know about inlaws. I wouldn't take it personally, but I'd have to let her know how I felt about it. the only way to cure an ill is to communicate. Invite her for lunch before hubby leaves and show her you can be the bigger person. Trell your husband, good lookin out wsupporting the USA