I'm Confused About Nap Times for an Infant

Hi G. my 4 month old son does the same thing!!! the only thing i do different is let him sleep for about 30 min around 53o-6pm feed him, keep him up until 830pm for another few ounces and then put him down for bed. He will sleep until 7am. I think the older they get, they will drop one of there 45 min naps and hopefully have longer less naps. But i guess time will tell!

Follow the babies lead...she will let you know when she needs a nap. Once she is a little older you can work on getting a schedule set up.

I HIGHLY recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by Mark Weisbluth (sp?). I got it from my local library and it was a great help. He breaks down appropriate sleep habits for the different age groups/growth and also explains how to correct any patterns that aren't working... Excellent read!

Hi G.,

I'm the SAHM to 2 children. One a 4 yo and the other a 7 mo. I let both of them tell me when they are tired. I know it's hard with all the parenting advice out there but each baby is precious and unique. They WILL tell you what they need when they need it. My son (7mo) sometimes has 2 naps a day and sometimes 3 a day depending on what he needs. Also, he's asleep mostly for 45 minute naps too. He'll learn to sleep longer when he's ready.
My daughter was NOTORIOUS at being a 45 minute napper for a really long time but then that changed when she was ready. The best piece of advice I can give you is to listen to your mothering instincts and to follow your baby's lead. She'll let you know what she needs.
You're doing a great job!

E. P.

Hi G.-
Sounds like you are doing a great job paying attention to your baby's cues. The best thing to do is put her down when she's tired and let her sleep. Not all babies are by the book. Mine definitely wasn't either. :) Once he got past the many 45 minute nap stage and was a little older (5-6 months), he started taking longer naps around 9:30 and 2:30. So, take heart, :) it gets better.

Hi G.,
I've just been going through this myself. My daughter, 7months now, was a horrible napper. She is just now falling into a routine where she'll actually take a good nap. I used to be lucky to get 1/2 hour out of her, then 45 minutes, now 1.5hours, sometimes longer. I went through the same thing with my son. It's hard, I know, but you just have to let it run it's course and eventually she'll schedule herself. Pushing too hard won't work. Oh, and try to keep her up just a few minutes longer at nap time to make sure she's really tired. Not to the point where she's hysterical but more than just a yawn. Good luck and I hope she'll nap better soon.

My 4 month old was having the same problem, and my mom "cured" it with a white noise machine from Brookstone! We put it on whenever it's time to nap and the constant noise not only blocks out other household sounds, it shushes him to sleep :) Now, when he's getting irritable and I realize it's time for a nap, I turn on the machine, get him comfy, and he's out like a light for a considerable amount of time. SO much nicer to get a few hours to myself than to have varying catnaps where I can't get anything done.

Good luck!

I have had 4,4 month olds (not all at once thank goodness!) and I find each one was very, very different as far as naps go. One took wonderful naps another would sleep only 30 mins or so. I would try to get them to nap in the am and pm, and then would try to keep them up till 8pm to sleep through. I never worried if they were up for more than 2 hours at this age (except at night!) I was very schedule oriented and did try to get them to sleep the same time everyday. I found this to be best. I would lay them down at the same time every afternoon and they got used to it and would fall asleep usually like clockwork. I could then rely on that 2 hour afternoon nap for me to clean or whatever. By six months old 3 of my 4 kids were taking two naps a day, one at 9:30 am (a short nap about 45 mins), then at about 1:00pm they would sleep sometimes up to 3 hours. My one other daughter never napped well, but I still would lay her down at 1:00 and she would sleep some, play some, in her crib for a while. I tried to get her to stay at least 1 hour. She would not cry, but then at 18months, that was over as she learned to climb out of her crib, so the naps were done. Although, on most days you could find her falling asleep on the couch, so she did nap, just not in her bed! I don't know if this helps, but bottom line, you need to do what is best for you, and your baby, and not what a book tells you. The benefit of them staying awake longer in the day is they got a real sense of day and night and usually would sleep better and longer at night. K.

Sometimes no matter what you do, they have their own wonky schedule...

My first baby ran like clockwork (LOL) she slept through the night, straight from the hospital (5-6 hours every night!) and took to her naps like a pro!

My second baby... I expected him to follow his sister... I thought it was going to be just as easy... Only, he never slept. He never napped. He nursed every hour. For months. Even as an older baby, getting him to nap was a big struggle. He would get so very tired, and clearly needed his nap, but no matter what I did he would not sleep. And he was up at 5am every morning. I learned to live with that... LOL After he turned two, he started getting up later. He is 3 1/2 now and he sleeps from 7pm to 6am with a nap mixed in now and then... Its cute. He asks for Sponge Bob and then curls up on the couch and falls asleep.

By my youngest I learned to accept that sometimes the schedule gets thrown out the window. So I've been more relaxed about it. She is a pretty good napper. She used to take two a day, one at 9am and one at 2pm. Sometimes the 9am naptime would roll around and she just wasn't tired... She'd fall asleep at ten or eleven and four... Sometimes her nap would be short... I ended up changing my day to fit around her naptimes...

I just wanted to tell you I understand how frustrating it is... And to tell you a little bit about my own experience...
Hugs and hang in there!
~J.

Dear G.,

About when to put your daughter to sleep:
I ignored what the books said about exact times or number of naps. I followed the lead of my son. I got to know his signs for being tired and he had his own routine that was fairly constant plus or minus 15 minutes. If he didn't seem sleepy (started to whine a bit, rubbed one eye...) I would wait a bit longer. A routine is good but it's better if you follow what your daughter is asking for. Also, keep in mind that most children are actually more flexible than we give them credit for.

About how long to nap:
I know that infant sleep happens in 45 minute cycles. Sometimes my son would wake , fuss and then go back to sleep. He learned to self soothe around 4.5 months and that helped him go back to sleep without waking completely. If your daughter is still depending on a bottle, or external help to fall asleep, she will need that again when she wakes partially after a 45 minute sleep cycle and be awake because she doesn't know how to put herself back to sleep.
You can help her learn to self soothe using a variety of methods (the sleep lady's shuffle, the ferber method, etc...) they all basically involve putting her in her crib while she's relaxed and beginning to doze off but still aware. Then at that point different methods give you different instructions.
This should help also with morning wakings and should help her get better sleep which is crucial for brain development. Whatever method you use, use one that you are comfortable with.

I hope this helps,
A.

It is so hard trying to figure out a newborn! Naps are one of those things that right when you think you are getting into a routine, they change. Right when you feel as though you are going to go crazy, they stop what they were doing and change their schedule. I think one of the best things to do is; stop reading books with schedules and how the schedule is supposed to go. Every baby, and every child is different. What works for one baby doesn't work for the next. Go with your gut instinct, you know your baby best. If she doesn't seem tired, don't put her down for a nap. If she wakes up happy, then she slept long enough! I think listening to your baby will tell you the most information you need to know. Good luck!

if every 2 hrs she sleep for 35-45 minutes then you're doing great girl! follow her lead on this one. let her tell you when she's tired. be lucky she takes naps - my oldest NEVER slept as an infant - he had severe colic & forget napping during the day - never did & as far as nights went ... i was lucky if I caught 10 minutes every 2 hrs. =0( He was tough. But my youngest was perfect! lol he slept through the night one he was born! and he took his naps (usually about that long as well - although his 'after lunch nap' was about 1 1/2 hrs).

If you want her to take a longer nap, then maybe try this ... breakfast / morning nap / feeding / stay awake til lunch / lunch / ** long nap** / feeding / late afternoon nap / dinner / stay awake til bed

Otherwise, it sounds like you're doing beautifully. And I tell everyone this but every mom has her own 'groove' as far as parenting goes. What works for one mom or another may not work for you & that's just fine. follow your instincts & let your child guide you. YOu'll know. =0) Enjoy your day & God bless!

Hi G. -

I know that you are trying to do the best for your daughter by following all advice given by books and friends and family - but really just relax. Your daughter is only 4 months old. Kids are not on stringent schedules at this age. Your daughter will sleep when she is tired - she will nap when she is tired. She will wake up when she isn't. All kids are different. My daughter is 13 months old now and her nap times have changed continuously. Some newborns sleep 20 hours a day, some only sleep 12-15 hours per day. Just know that your baby will do what suits her. I hope this helps!! Trust me I know what it's like to be a first time parent. You are trying to do everything right, but as time goes by you will realize that your daughter will tell you what she needs. Every little one is unique!!

G.,
IF your baby is sleeping from 8-5, then don't worry about when she naps! congratulations on that! She is now sleeping from 6-8-5 and that is 11 hours...she only needs about 14-15 hours a day..so if you add the little naps she is perfect!

Hi G.,
I'm a mom of 6, soon to be 7, and I have found that there is no real schedule until about 5 months, and even then, depending on the child, you may have to train her to sleep. My pediatrician recommended a book several years ago that was my lifesaver from then on: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It walks you through figuring out the right schedule and gives you step by step instructions on making it happen. Well worth whatever it costs, believe me! Good luck. Enjoy that baby -- there's nothing quite like parenthood. Oh, and don't worry, even after this many, I still don't have it all figured out. Every kid is so different -- keeps us humble!

Your daughter sounds just like my son at this age. He continued on this schedule for a long time. It worked for him so we went with it. Keeping him up longer between naps never worked for us. He'd sleep just the same lenght of time. Best wishes!

My daughter is 5 months old and I was struggling with the same problem when she was 3-4 months old. The best advice I got from another board was to not pick them up at 45min when they wake up. They simply go through sleep cycles and wake up around 45 min, but if you let them, they will go back to sleep and sleep for another hour or more. It really works! At first I had to go in and rub her belly and sing to get her back to sleep, but now I just hear her wimper a little and she gets herself back to sleep. Also, make sure to put her down sleepy, but awake. Now she takes a nap about an hour and a half after getting up (around 8:30 or 9), sleeps for 2 hours, and takes another 2 hour nap in the afternoon starting between 1-3. Sometimes she squeezes in another 1 hour nap mid day or early evening if she is sleepy. I would NOT recommend keeping her awake. My daughter would just get overtired, then not sleep at night! Hope this helps. It worked for me.

I know this might sound counterproductive...but try making her more tired. Perhaps she's not tired enough to sleep longer than 45 minutes....could it be time to combine naps and take 2 longer ones rather than 3 shorter ones.

Also, get your hands on Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It's my bible.

I'm am also a new mom of a 4 month old (boy). I have found that my little guy doesn't stay awake longer than 2 hours and I just go with it. My pediatrician says that he should be napping 3-4 times a day (which he does), he also says that the 2-a-day naps won't come until close to a year of age. As far as the length of his naps, they can range anywhere from 30 minutes (usually in the morning) to 3 hours (usually later in the afternoon). I just go with it, It makes it hard to get into a routine with his naps being so unpredictable but I just go with the flow. I was recently referred to a book by Jodi A. Mindell, Ph.D. called Sleeping Through the Night. It talks about naps as well and getting your baby into a routing, so putting him/her down for a nap at the same time each day, so we're trying that now and it's going well so far. But the book also says that keeping your baby awake longer (to get her to sleep longer) does not work and that it actually makes it harder for her to fall asleep because she will be over tired. As far as sleeping at night, I try to feed my little guy as late as possible so he sleeps later in the morning, and so far it works. I put him to bed around 7 or 7:30 and then I feed him between 10 and 11 (depending on how late I'm up) and he doesn't wake up until 8 or 8:30. Hope this helps.

G.,
I think you're doing great! You're teaching your baby to put herself to sleep, and she's sleeping as much as she feels is right. It sounds like she's pretty much sleeping through the night and having a pretty regular schedule. Maybe you're putting too much stock in what is written about what is "normal" for her age. It also sounds like you've tried adjusting the times and the baby gets upset. Maybe you already have found what works the best for her and you'll have to adjust yourself a little to make this work well for you and your husband? I found that to be really hard too! Good luck!

I found a lot of help from the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I also tried to let him let me know what he was tired and try and adjust things to what his body seemed to need. I felt some weeks he did well, then other weeks I wondered what in the world was going on, then the next week he would be back on schedule with what I could expect. We had to play around with the time to put him to bed. I hope you find what works for you as a family.

My little girl is now almost 2 yrs. I too was confused about her not getting proper sleep and when she should be sleeping, how long, etc. because according to what I read, she should be sleeping for "x" number of hours every "y" number of hours, etc. I just went crazy with all the guidelines and didn't follow any "schedule" when she was an infant. She slept when she needed to sleep...sometimes 30 min, sometimes 10 min. and intervals in between could vary between 20 min. to the early days of life to 1 hr. in later months. I remember in her second month she began to self soothe with a pacifier and mobile in her bed to fall asleep, but sometimes still needed to be in a sling close to me to sleep the duration of her nap. She also needed to breastfeed a lot to fall asleep...lots of work back then, but now she sleeps according to her own clock that is now regular...1 time every day she has a nap at the same time of day (a long nap...great break for mommy!) I have a feeling that as she matures, her sleep pattern will iron itself out and before you know it, she'll develop a pattern--as my daughter got older I also developed little routines during the time she got sleepy to encourage a nap. But again, I have only one child, so this is just how it worked for us...I know all children are different. Best of luck to you!

First order of business: trash the prewritten schedules! They're really only guidelines to help you get started figuring out how much sleep your baby ought to be getting.

What you *should* do is keep a journal of your baby's routine and what you'll start to notice is when she naturally has regular naps. You might notice that she starts rubbing her eyes and gets a little cranky at the same times every day, so you can actually plan according to that instead of setting a time FOR her.

Babies this age will often wake at the same time every morning, and within 2-3 hours of waking, need a nap. Within 2-3 hours of waking from that nap, they need another. That pattern keeps up until bedtime at night. Sometimes they skip a nap, while other times they need extra time for a nap. Just watch for signs that she's tired, like rubbing her eyes with her hands, crankiness, fussiness, yawning, and slowing down her activity. Try not to put her down before she shows signs of tiredness.

My eldest daughter rarely napped, even as a newborn, so this routine didn't work for her, but my 2 younger daughters followed this basic routine like a charm.

MY advice would be, "don't read so much." (-; Every family and every child is different. When I had my second child, I thought I had it all figured out, but then he was very different from my first. If a book tells you that your child should be doing this at this age in this way, etc, realize that the book is referring to an average and will not apply to every child. These days, almost anyone can get a book published, so relax and just do what works for you and your family.

J. (-:

Congratulations on your little girl!

My DS is 5mo and you could set your watch by his 45 minute naps! I am an advocate of Baby Whisperer. BW suggests that you don't keep them away for more than two hours before putting them down (awake) to take a nap.

One thing I learned when trying to stretch DS's naps is that when babies are overtired, they wake up, flail around, etc. Whereas when adults are overtired, they stay asleep.

What I've begun to do is when DS wakes at 45 minutes, I'll go in, pop his paci back in and say, "It's time to sleep" and I'll leave the room. We were having the issue that he was having such fitful day time naps that he'd wake 2-3x a night every 2-3.5 hours and it was killing us.

Stretching his nap times out worked over night. Within a couple of days of starting it, he stretched his naps to two two hour naps and now wakes once a night.

If you haven't yet, check out the BW site. It's so helpful!

Good luck!!

You can't always believe what you read. I was so confused with the whole napping situation with my son also. When he was 2 to 3 months I would be lucky to get him to nap for an hour(more like 45 mins) at a time and I would put him down at least three times a day because he was just tired. At 4 to 5 months he started sleeping for a full hour at naptime. Now all of a sudden he is taking 2 hour naps and only two naps a day(it seriouly just happened one day and has continued). I usuaslly put him down in the morning and then again in the late afternoon. He is 7 months now and every time i thought that we were starting to get into a pattern he would change it. The only thing I can truely say is read the books for advice but you know your baby the best, you know when she is tired and what she needs so follow your heart and you will never go wrong.

hi, we're in cambridge with a 4 month old. just to reassure you that not all babies are on the "prescribed" nap track... he sleeps from approx 8pm-7am, is up until about 8:30am usually and then sleeps for anywhere from 30 minutes to 2.5 hrs, depending on I'm not sure what. Typically he will sleep for at least an hour or so. then he may be up for another couple hours, and will take a longer or shorter nap depending on how things went in the morning (a short nap in am usually means a long mid-day nap), then he will be up until sometime mid-afternoon and take a nap -- often an hour or more -- and then he'll usually sleep again for 30-60 minutes around 5pm. so, we're still very nap-heavy, haven't gotten to the 2 naps a day thing and not sure if we ever will at this rate but not sure I'm going to steer him in that direction unless he starts doing it on his own. We're not complaining since he sleeps so well at night!

Hi,
My daughter is 16 months old and she did the same thing at 4 months. Her naps were only 45 minutes, and she took them about every 3 hours. Eventually they will spread out and last longer, but I wouldn't expect this for a few more months. My daughter typically takes one nap per day for at least one hour, usually longer. I was told to put the baby down every 3 hours to not allow over exhaustion.

Hi G.-
I too have a 4 month old, who does only stay awake about 2-3 hours between naps, and mine only takes a scheduled nap in the afternoon for about 2-3 hours, but the morning naps are flexible and only last about 45 minutes. The afternoon naps is about 30-45 minutes after his 1230 bottle but can vary by 1/2 hr, if he happens to eat later than 1230. I read in a book that about 45 minutes after they eat, the baby will be ready for a nap and it seems to work, i just lay him down in his crib when i see him rubbing his face, with his pacifer, and he puts himself to sleep, sometimes i have to go in a few times to put the pacifer back in his mouth, but i never takes his out of his crib, eventually he falls asleep sometimes in 5 minutes and sometimes it takes 30 minutes. I know that a long afternoon nap really works for us, then he had a bottle when he wakes up around 4pm and takes a cat nap around 530pm, then last bottle at 7pm until 6am the next morning, good luck, it takes some time to get the afternoon nap down, and i always make sure i am home for the nap, sometimes i cannot be home, but i try to be home to keep the schedule.

G.,

I have 2 boys, my youngest is 4 months old also. I've learned not to get too crazy with what "they" say. Every baby is different and you know your baby better than anyone. As long as she is happy during her awake time, is eating well and gaining weight at a normal rate, don't sweat it. Longer naps are soooo nice for us moms, but they don't always happen. My little guy takes lots of little naps also (as did my oldest). My oldest's sleep patterns were similar and he changed slowly into 2 naps, morning and afternoon and now only has a long afternoon nap....it always changes.

I've tryed the CIO method, and sometimes it works, but I can tell at other times, that my little man has gas (his cry is different) or he's still hungry. So I pick him up and give him what he needs. No one knows them better than moms!!! NO ONE! MOMS RULE

Good luck,

P.

G.,

Be patient. Your still getting to know your little girl. All three of mine were great at napping. Once I understood a few tricks. I would get up at five ready to bathe the little miss. After bath I would give her a rub down with lotion (work her legs and arms). After dressing her I would head out for a walk with her in the baby bjorn. Just a quick one to get us both some fresh air. Hopefully by the time I ate and cleaned up the morning mess it was around 8 ish and my girls were ready for a long morning nap. Try keeping her stations, if you have to stay inside, stimulating. I would move my babies around every 20 or so minutes to a new distraction. Under the dangling tripod or in the baby bounce seat and always on their tummies for a few minutes. Babies are funny sometimes. I would put them down for a nap when I thought they were tired. When in reality they were just bored. Introduce new music and sensations to them. If you keep the house too quiet I have found it is harder for them to adapt to socialization later on. Try to shake it up a bit with your routine. Keep her up and create your own routine. Don't run in after 45 minutes....she may fall back to sleep. Pretty soon she will be taking 2 naps a day for 2 plus hours each.

if your daughter is sleeping from 8pm to 5am, consider yourself VERY lucky. That is great!! Nap habits will not stay the same for a four month old. As she gets older she may get into a regular habit of most likely two naps, aka the 10 am dn 2pm. Or she may not. She may sleep less. You cannot tell this early . Honestly, if she is healthy and this is her routine, I would enjoy it while it lasts!

G.,

I feel like I could've written this myself. My little one is also just 4 mos. old and I have a 3 year old son. Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth? It is full of great info. All kids end up organizing naps on their own schedules. She is still a bit young, but between now and 6 mos. she will develop a 2 nap pattern. Don't worry if she isn't "by the book" just yet. It is frustrating, but she is normal. Keep watching for her sleepy cues and try to limit awake time to 2 hours or less. Right now short naps are normal.

Good luck,
R.

My baby did the same thing at that age -- 45 minute naps, every 2 hours, and if kept up longer still had short naps. And mine didn't sleep through the night like yours is already - that's great! I just went with the flow, and let the clockwork 45-minute naps happen until a couple months later he started transitioning to longer and fewer naps, which happened naturally on his own time.

Good luck and enjoy!
C.

My advice is to do your best to get her to go back to sleep after that 45 min. Nurse her, rock her, whatever works. That baby needs at least an hour + nap. Once you get her on a longer nap, she'll be much more cheerful.

Don't let her stay awake longer! The longer she stays awake, the more overtired she will become and the LESS sleep she'll get. 4 months is still young and her naps will probably become longer as she gets older. At least she's napping! My daughter never napped for the first 5 months. It was awful! Also, I highly recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

My first child slept wonderfully, the 2nd, not so much. She would do the same. She would not want anything to do with sleep unless she was exhausted. Really we just go with her flow, it's less stress that way and if she sleeps, that's great, if she doesn't then we just deal. She sleeps through the night so we are pleased enough with that. I found that trying to get her on a "schedule" was more stress than what it was worth. She does take an AM nap and afternoon nap now but that is because she is an active 14 month old. I would just have her stay up a little longer and wait until she is showing the tell tale signs of being tired...Crying, irritable, yawning. Also, do you do the same routine when putting her down? Good luck, but I wouldn't worry too much as long as she is sleeping for some time.

Hi G.,
It sounds like you are doing wonderful and your 4 month old is doing exactly what mine did at 4 months. Some babies are great nappers, some just don't need long naps. My son is now 16 months and his nap times and amount of time has changed significantly. He is now taking 2 hr. naps.
It sounds like you are in tune with your baby as I am with mine which keeps them happy and us exhausted.
Good luck, it will get easier.
L.