I Would Love Your Opinion on This.

I don't do teacher appreciation or any of those things - I do a gift at Christmas and a gift at end of year - usually a gf for Target or something like that with a small "token" gift attached.

Give what you can when you can...no one should be keeping score.

This year, I'm considering out Teacher Appreciation gift cards and thank you notes to be the "end of the year" gift.

So far....there's nothing in the wind about a group gift.

What about Janitor's appreciation gifts? Or Principal's? Cafeteria workers? School district lawyer appreciation? Taxpayer appreciation?

pfffffffff

As a former teacher, yes it's pretty common to get some sort of gift at the end of the year. I think it's appreciated, but not expected.

It sounds like your school needs to do some changes. Monthly fundraisers? I probably wouldn't participate. There was a lot of fund raising at our school too. We contributed to a few things, but definitely not all of them.

For teacher appreciation our class and school did non- monetary gifts. One day the kids wore the teacher's favorite color. Another day they drew pictures. One day was a note. It was that sort of appreciation, nothing that required opening a wallet. Some of us did our own thing, but mine was definitely a frugal gesture.

Do not feel like you have to participate in the class gift. I am room mom and I was asked to head up the class gift collection. I cringed at the thought simply because I knew there were people who had their own ideas, some who could not afford it and others who just "didn't do gifts". I have made it very clear that participation is voluntary and anonymous, so no one knows who gave what.

The gifts are nice. And I have received some good ones. I taught middle school, so I never got the huge class gifts like elementary teachers often get. The funny thing is I can't remember who gave me what trinket. BUt those heartfelt letters and emails...I remember every kid. I didn't keep a lot of "the stuff", but I still have every note. Don't let group mentality force you into paying up yet again. There are lots of ways to show appreciation.

As a teacher I can say that yes, it's fairly common to get gifts for major religious holidays (Christmas, Diwali, Chanukah), for teacher appreciation week, and at the end of the year. It seems like someone at your school is organizing this but you really don't need to feel obligated. I for one can say I'd much rather have a nice note, a homemade baked good, flowers from the garden, etc over the gallons of unwanted body wash in scents I don't care for, jewelry I won't wear, another coffee mug (when I don't drink coffee) and so on. Our school does a great teacher appreciation lunch for teacher appreciation week where each grade level brings in something (i.e. salads from K & 1, main dishes from 2 & 3) for a big buffet lunch and that is plenty of thanks. If you (any of you) feel very strongly about this make some suggestions to the PTA or Room Moms Group that organizes this sort of thing. Teachers along with any other profession deserve a thanks every now and then and really, a note is lovely and more than enough.

I agree that it's normal, but over the top. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about this yet as my DD is too young for school... I do remember when I was in the 5th grade, I absolutely LOVED my teacher. At the end of the year, I wrote her a note telling her how much I liked her and why. I slipped it into a book she had let me borrow. My grandma ran into her (apparently they go to church together now...) and was told how that was one of the best 'gifts' she had ever received... Over 10 years ago, and she still remembers one heartfelt note, yet she can't recall the 'official' gift she was bought with a class donation. I find that too many people place unwarranted value on material items, and not enough on the sentimental. :)

Hi E.,

I'm a room mom, and I know what you mean about all of this adding up. End of year teacher gifts are pretty common, but it used to be a small token from each individual student to the teacher. Over the years, this tradition has morphed into the tendancy to go over the top in some cases.

As a many year room mom, I have done it both ways, depending on the class and the general desire of the other parents. In my son's preschool, we did go in as a group for end of the year gifts. It seemed to be what most parents wanted to do, and some of them did their own thing as well.

Last year in Kindergarten, we collected group donations for the holidays, again for our teacher's birthday in April, and then for teacher appreciation the first week in May. In that case, I just felt like it was too much to ask our parents for another donation two weeks later for end of the year gifts. (We also had a student teacher/assistant). I did ask several of the parents in our K class what they'd prefer, and the consensus was to have each family do their own gift for end of the year.

Back to this year: We just finished staff appreciation last week. Not only did we have our teacher, but we were assigned a specialist teacher who doesn't have a regular class. Our class was very generous, and so, once again, I really don't want to ask for another donation, which I'd have to do in the next week in order get it collected and the gift purchased by the end of the school year. From what I've heard from our parents so far, I think we will probably go the route of each family doing their own thing again.

Your room parent should ask or invite parents to be involved in the gift, not inform you or imply that you have to! I always add that it is completely voluntary and that each family should feel free to do whatever they choose.

You should do whatever you feel comfortable doing, whether it's participating in the group collection or doing your own thing (which can be anything from a simple note/drawing from your child and one from you thanking her for all she did throughout the year to any type of gift/token you'd like to give). It's always your choice!

Best wishes to you and your family.

J. F.

The room mom for our daughter in K started about 2 months ago sending emails requesting donations for a teacher gift. And there has been a reminder email every week since, rather annoying.
Each subsequent email starts with "if you are receiving this, I haven't received money from you..."
People here who read my response know how I feel about the constant gifts for everyone that comes in contact with our school age children "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

I love teachers as well!! They spent a lot of time with my daughter and appreciate all they did for her.

We loved giving gifts for holidays, Teacher appreciation (I was also very involved in their luncheon) and of course the end of the year gift. I have done the end of the year gift as a group and individually. In elementary school this also included the librarian and the after care aids.

I WANTED to do this for the people who did an amazing job with my daughter and was always so thankful to have a great group of teachers for my daughter.

Is the fund raising done by the PTA?? Totally different bird! It's quite possible that they have many fund raisers to hopefully be there when you do have the money to participate. I was so thankful when my daughter got to middle school and simply writing a check was what was asked instead of selling a bunch of stuff and only receiving a portion of the profits.

When I was growing up, we always got our teachers an end-of-the-year gift. But we didn't donate toward one, we just picked out something small and nice to say thank you for the year. However, my mother is a teacher, and I can't tell you how many various mugs and pens and such she brings home at the end of every year! I can see how one nice gift would be more attractive.

That's very common. Usually it is asked for at the beginning of the year, though. (Illustrious room moms!)

It's totally up to you. If you want, you could give an individual gift. Or you can not give anything. It is purely your choice.

I have done it for teachers who I felt were "value added" and those who I felt really loved their students. I have never done it for teachers who I felt were sick of teaching or if they didn't really like my kids, or if they seemed unfair or difficult. In other words, my favorite teachers got a year-end gift.

I pretty much gave everyone a Christmas gift until my kids started changing classes and there were too many teachers to do that for.

Dawn

Our Montessori has an actual committee to coordinate gifts for the school directress as well as a luncheon. There are 5 classrooms of approximately 18 kids each. Each set of parents is supposed to provide a dish for the luncheon to serve 12-15. There will be approximately 15 adults attending the luncheon (teachers, aides and administrators) at which if the math is correct there should be 90 dishes served. Oddly no one else has noticed a problem.

I did not donate to the gift last year. We did give herb plants in decorated pots with a personalized card to each of DS's teachers and the office staff. I plan to do that again this year.

I also don't support the fundraisers as they are generally Scholastic book drives (I do not support the amount of branded merchandising and their unfairly privileged place in classrooms) or sales of junk food/candy (completely subverts the nutrition education they receive in the classroom). I would much prefer that if the school needs money they raise our tuition.

I'm room parent for kids pre-school. We do group gifts for Christmas and end of year. Families are on their own if they'd like to do other stuff for teacher appreciation, birthdays, etc. I do send an email to everyone and a reminder email to everyone but it's not high pressure and I encourage everyone to sign our cards even if they're not donating money. I think you need to decide (in the future) what you want to contribute to and leave it at that.

When my kids were in elementary school, we gave holiday and end of year gifts, and that's what is done in the elementary where I work. Teacher Appreciation Day isn't a gift occasion in our school district. The PTO in each building organizes a lovely lunch for the teaches and support staff in their building, no collections. End of year gifts are pretty standard.
The fundraising has nothing to do with the teachers. It's not a show of appreciation for them. It's to support your child's school and the programs that it offers.

We do Christmas and End of Year gifts as a group but parents are not required to participate in the group gifts. They are welcome to purchase their own gift for those occasions.

We usually each chip in $40 at the beginning of the year to cover both Christmas and end of year gifts for both the teacher and teacher's aide. We have 18 kids in my daughter's class so that money adds up. We were able to give the teachers very nice gift baskets of their favorite things at Christmas. One is very into her dogs so we loaded her basket with dog grooming supplies, treats, and a gift card for the doggie spa along with a gift card to our local day spa for her. The end of year gifts are personalized kindergarten watches. These are so very adorable.

Any other gifts we may choose to give for teacher appreciation are done individually.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

We do the same. My son is in 3rd grade. The room Mom sent home a note that she was collecting between $3 and $5 or whatever you feel comfortable giving for an end of year gift. All the childrens names in the class go on the card regardless if they contribute or not. It is a lot throughout the year and I usually give a gift just from my son too at end of the year. May skip that one this year due to financial reasons so i am glad she is collecting from the group. I would say an end of year gift for the teacher is very common.

YES. It STINKS. I just wrote a question about doing teacher appreciation gifts, because this whole school thing is new to me and I wanted to see what the "norm" was. So I sucked it up and did the 4 separate daily gifts for the week. Then, the very next week, I get the email about how we should "show our appreciation" in our own way for end of the year. Ummm, didn't I just do that last week?? What about those checks I write every month that are nearly half my income, isn't that a pretty big "thank you"?? Oh, wait, then there has been (since my son started in JANUARY, mind you...) donated time, items, and bought stuff at yard sale fundraiser, went to restaurant for charity night fundraiser, donated time and bought books at the book fair PLUS a book off the teacher "wish list," donated time doing a presentation at cultural day, painted a ceramic tile at the pottery painting charity event, donated time to the silent auction that was postponed until fall, donated my assigned week of fresh flowers for the classroom, and just offered to take the fish for the summer. And I completely ignored SEVERAL other requests/fund raising opportunities and do not have time to be on the school board because I do have an actual career to worry about in addition to my 4 year old's preschool. It is just...a...lot.

Honestly, I never knew that we were suppose to give a gift or contribute toward one for teacher appreciation week. I thought that during that week, the principal or administrator had a party for all the teachers to show appreciation. Maybe some parents came in and brought in baked goods or volunteered to help set up the festivities, but I never thought about getting the teacher a gift. Therefore, yes, I agree with you...that's over the top especially since I tend to buy things for the teacher at Christmastime and at the end of the year.

I always do an end of the year gift on my own. A nice card from my kids and onefrom myself that says how much I appreciated them teaching my kids as well as some baked goodies and a gift card to Starbucks or Micheal's. I also do that for the bus driver!

I've never seen or done the teacher appreciation week as you mentioned - but always do an end of the year gift. In many classes the class mom will get other moms to chip in - it is not required - but encouraged. Sometimes you may want to do something on your own (my kids have had some fabulous teachers and some duds so if they've been great (my son has some mild learning issues) I will do both - contribute with the class but then also give a gift card. But when they've been awful I didn't contribute at all (that's only happend twice - total with two kids who are now teens)

I have written notes to any teacher that has touched my child's life in a special way and let them know how special they have been in my child's life. And those teachers have gone out of their way to tell me that they've saved those notes and cherished them as one the special things in their career. Wow! (Ran into my 7th grade son's 2nd grade teacher the other day in the grocery store - she had been a wonderful teacher for my son and I had written her a nice note telling her so - she got teary eyed asking about how my son was doing, etc.) If they're awesome you should also let the principal and even the head of the school board know by writing a note of praise.

Yep, end of the year teacher gifts. They do that. I do feel it's over the top - especially if you have 3 kids like me, two of them who are 5 and 4 and have two teachers and two busdrivers (they are in special ed., so they get bussed). Over the coarse of the year, all of these gifts really add up. I decided to just bake from now on. No more Starbucks gift cards for $10-$15 dollars each. People love home baked goods, and it shows you care. Just bake from now on like I do so you won't go broke.

I think end-of-the-year gifts are just as common as Christmas or Teacher Appreciation gifts. I think if you like the teacher and she did a good job, then a gift is appropriate. A nice thank-you note and a $10 Starbucks card would be perfect. Your child's teacher spends a lot of time with your child (perhaps more than you do during an average week). If she's awesome, let her know!

I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM. My mom is a teacher and my MIL is a high school counselor. I give my sons' teachers gift cards for gifts ($50 for Christmas, $25 for Teacher Appreciation, $50 for end of the year). I also give little things throughout...like a Starbucks hot chocolate at pick-up time on really cold days or a bottle of water on really hot days. I also do small gifts for the specials teachers (PE, Music, Art, Spanish), the two secretaries, and the principal. They are a fantastic team and I want them to know it!!

It is very common here. It is a personal choice.

If you don't want to, don't.

My daughter is a Junior in HS and heading toward Senior year. We will be giving teachers an end of the year gift as well as a token of appreciation for recommendation letters for college as well.

I'm not talking anything big, something simple. Example... her 1st period teacher is also the tennis coach and he always has something from Sonic to drink. At Christmas, she gave him a Sonic gift card and we put it in a Sonic cup for delivery. He loved it.

I usually do not join in for the big donate. We do give on our own though. Teacher appreciation and Christmas they get money. But one year a smart teacher provided a list of what she really wanted or liked nothing expensive. Little things . End of year sometimes a little thankyou gift but not usually money. You are not obligated to join in with everthing the pta puts together

We have made donations to the PTO throughtout the year and we pitched in for class gifts for teacher appreciation week last week and we will probably do a gift card and a personal note to DD's kindergarten teacher for the end of the year. It may seem a little over the top, but DD's teacher has really gone above and beyond and she deserves it. We are really going to miss her next year. If it wasn't for the fact that DD's teacher was so awesome, I don't think I'd worry about an end of year gift since it's only a few weeks after teacher appreciation week.

Many parents give teachers a gift at the end of the year. That's a personal choice that you make. Do not feel obligated to donate anything or to give a gift on your own. A card made by your child or a hand written note from you is an excellent year end gift.

When I was a kid, a gift came at the end of the school year--I don't remember teacher appreciation week. I don't know what the trend is. Upside of group collection=more useful gifts. Downside of group collection=everyone knows who contributed and how much. I'd bring fresh flowers from the garden, if you have any.

i don't know about where you are, but in our preschool EVERYone does not participate. while my son was in his preschool, i got to know his teachers and like you, i LOVE them and SO appreciate everything they've done for my son. however, i'm not made of money. i prefer smaller gifts from the heart. a card with a heartfelt (sincere) note in it. a small gift card to starbucks or mcdonald's. we do christmas and teacher appreciation day, but not end of year. but if it was a particularly rough period or we couldn't swing even a little something, i would hope they'd understand.

That is part of what my son's school's PTA does. This year we were able to gift each teacher 150 "scholastic dollars" to spend on what they like and they LOVED it! In addition our other fundraisers are going towards helping the school get wireless internet services and a few tablets for some of the classrooms. I have not heard of the room moms getting together for a gift, but I know that OUR PTA does get end of year gifts for each teacher/classroom.

Don't do it! The same thing happened to me this past x-mas. One of the mom's told me that I needed to pitch in money for a gift, so I gave $10... I never even heard what the gift was, nor did the teacher ever mention it..One of the mom's said that they didn't know if they got her anything..For all I know, it was pocketed...I didn't pursue it further cause I really just didn't want to be bothered and chucked it up to lesson learned...I ended up buying her something else anyway to be sure that she got something from me..Oh well...In the future, I am just going to get the teacher something on my own and if someone doesn't like it, who cares...Don't really want to get involved with any of the mommies anyway...

One of my sons' schools occasionally does this too. And, having been homeroom mom numerous times, I've never felt obliged to request donations or give to this type of fund. I always politely decline and state that my child prefers to write a note in a card and we will give the teacher a nice gift. We usually give a very nice gift card along with either upscale spa-type products or goodies from a local bakery. And, my sons have always chosen a small but special gift for each teacher. And, yes, I support teachers/staff throughout the year by donating to "fund of the month". But, I feel that the end-of-year gift is special and should be more personal than a collective fund. I understand that some parents are happy to donate an amount and be done but that isn't my thing. Don't feel obligated...do what makes you and your child happy. If you feel it's over the top, decline and have your child write the teacher a personal note. I always write a note to each teacher(my sons do too) and have had several teachers tell me how much it meant to them to be thanked by both student and parent.

I definietely think it's important to close out the year with your teacher by showing some appreciation. I would say nice heartfelt messages of thanks from the student would most appreciated as opposed to material gifts (a nice letter from your kid about what you'll remember from the year, the best part, what your kid learned etc). But often if it is a group gift, the moms organizing wantt to do something that is memorable from the class. Like a keepsake thats signed, has a picture, or a book or soemthing. Or maybe it's just a group gift card, I don't know. But teachers remember every class as a group, and I think it makes sense to give a group gift.

What I cherish most from my students (I'm a counselor, not a teacher) are the thank you notes the kids write themselves.

Yeah, I don't usually deal with the whole group gift thing here. I prefer to make my sons teachers homemade gifts. Every christmas I make all his teachers christmas/ holiday jewelry. For the end of the year it's usually earrings, and a card. His classroom teacher always gets a gift card too.

I love teachers as well...but this year...it seemed like we were being asked for money left and right! In addition to two children that have 1 regular teacher...I also have a daughter in a dual immersion program that has 2 teachers (not to mention their aides, bus drivers, etc.). My husband had major surgery a couple years ago...and we've really been pinching pennies to avoid debt. I think if someone has the money and wants to...that's great...but sometimes it does seem a bit over the top. And honestly...many teachers that I've known personally over the years have mentioned that they really like the heartfelt notes and homemade gifts. When I was a piano teacher and homeschool group teacher...I loved the pictures...the notes...etc. But maybe that's just me?

ETA: I agree on the food suggestion!

At our school, they just have a big basket coordinated by the room mother. Everyone just brings in a gift if they choose. We bring in little things like a plaque "world's greatest teacher" or whatever. Usually I have a picture I've taken of the teacher over the year and I frame it and give it to her also.

That's it.

I always do a Christmas and end of the year gift for our teachers and our bus driver. We don't do a teacher appreciation week.

We don't ask for or collect money...each parent and child does their own thing.