I Was Just Wondering If This Is Normal

You're doing great! If he was in danger, wouldn't he have had accidents already from lack of supervision? I think it is just fine to leave him unattended for short periods. Don't worry, and don't let anyone else tell you to.

K.

Seriously!?! tell your friend to chill!!!! I have a 3 year old...you know when I KNOW somethin's goin on? ......when it gets quiet. I often leave her in another room...I am not inoring her, just allowing her to be her.

We all, as Mom's, have to stop bubble wrapping our kids.....

Personally, I think you are doing a great job!!!! :)

It has been my experience ( 30+ dealing with kids all ages) that if they do something crazy they do it wether you closely watch the kid or not. I think you are doing nothing wrong here. Keep doing it and please do not turn into a Helicopter mom.

I like what bees mom said-LOL! Anyway I do it also-u need to let them have their space-as long as u don't leave them for hrs or something ridiculous then I think we all do it-they need to do things on their own and not have us hovering-lol! If my kids are occupied I sneak and go do things in another room and if I hear commotion I go check and settle and continue on...... GOOD JOB for letting your kids have some space-LOL! L.:)

I agree with everybody. You are doing a great job.
As long as your house is child-proofed with no major risks around, I don't see any problem.
My son is 3 and it has been several months now that I can let him alone. I let him play by himself when I tend to the younger one (diaper, bath, dinner...)
My daughter is 15 months and very active. Following both everywhere all the time would mean cutting me in half! So i follow the little daredevil who has no clue that climbing on the table and jumping is dangerous and I let the 3-years-old be himself on his own.
As another mom said, bubble wrapping children is not the best way to let them grow. They need to have their own space and experiences.

I do the same thing with my four year old. I NEVER leave him as in leave him while I go out and do something in public, but I'll work in the yard for a little bit while he watches a movie or plays with his trucks inside, etc, checking on him about every 10-15 min. Just be careful, when they get too quiet, they're up to something. This reminds me, I was sorting laundry one day about a year ago, realized Parker(my son) had gotten eerily quiet, and when I went to check on him, he had swiped a bag of flour out of the pantry, taken his bowl of cheez its, and had it all dumped completely out on my couch and was "cooking"!!!!! However, I have to say all the panic and anger(mostly at myself for not checking on him sooner) went away immediately when he stopped "stirring" his mixture, looked up at me and said "mom, I help you!!!!" :-D

Yes!!! How else are you suppose to get anything done. It is not like you are leaving him unattended for hours. I have a three year old and I do the same thing. I sweep, dishes or what not and then I check on her either verbaly or visual. So I think that you are doing everything that you can and it is fine!!

Oh, that other mom was just jealous! She evidently can't trust her kids alone or doesn't trust herself to leave them alone :)

Of course what you are doing is normal and perfectly acceptable. If you didn't give them their space, they could become clingy kids and you would be a helicopter parent - you would get weird looks for that too.

No worries! You're doing great!

it's perfectly acceptable. If you were leaving him alone for an hour, or leaving him home alone, that would be crazy. I assume you arent leaving things like knives in his easy reach, so trust your instincts with your child.

I let my 2 and 3 year olds play out in the back yard while I make dinner. I can see them out the window some of the time, but not the whole time. There's nothing out there they can get into so it's not a big deal. Or I leave them in the living room to play while I take a 15 minute shower. As long your house is child-proofed he's fine!

I think it's ok. You cannot be expected to spend every waking second watching your son's every move. The important thing is that you are listening for him and paying attention, even when he's not in the room. My son also just turned 3 and I often let him play in the playroom while I am upstairs getting dressed or in the kitchen doing dishes, cleaning up, cooking, etc. I also let him go up alone to his own room to get things if he wants to. If he's in the backyard, I might run in the house for a minute to grab something.

Sounds like you're a VERY normal mom and doing a great job.

K.
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You are absolutely fine! you are the best judge of what your child is tempted to do and what he can do on his own. If I had to spend every second chasing my daughter I would lose my mind! I don't know if my opinion would be the minority or majority, but I do know the worst time I had raising my daughter was listening to other people and letting them influence my behavior and doubt myself. She is very high-energy, but also really smart and does really well in the house watching TV and coloring while I sweep or plant something outside. Or maybe she'll be playing in her room while I am downstairs cleaning up or making dinner. I have never had a problem with it....as long as she is not filling up a sink with water that has no emergency drain! She does love water.

From your post I do not see that you are doing any thing wrong or out of the ordinary. If we never took our eyes off our children, how would we shower? :)

I just recently started letting my 27 month old be outside without me --fenced yard, child-proof, etc. I keep an eye on her via the kitchen window, but when she wants to be outside when I'm preparing dinner, I don't see the problem. She plays in her playroom in our basement alone every morning, and I never check on her. She only has access to things that are safe, mind you, but I've leave my children alone, always have. I'm sure your friend would freak if she knew I leave my 6 month old crawler alone to go get laundry. Sometimes I'm gone for 5 minutes. He could careless, and like I said, the house is child-proof. I just have to listen for my older kid to make sure she isn't killing him ;-)

You're friend needs to chill. It's great for kids to be alone, as it really gives them the space to let their imaginations roam. This could get them in trouble, but at the same time, creativity needs space to develop.

This is appropriate if your home is child proofed, meaning there is nothing that he can reach and you're aware while he's not physically with you.

I'm glad to see that the other moms also said it's OK. I was looking for a helicopter mom's answer. lol

As has been mentioned this is how we get things done but what is even more important is that this is how we teach our children to become independent. We allow increasing increments of independence as they get older. This is a great age for allowing this.

My 3 year old does stuff on her own a lot. Since she was about 2 1/2 I could clean house, put my little for nap or watch T.V. and she has always been perfectly fine. I think some 3 year olds are well behaved enough to behave with limited supervision. Of course our house is childproofed and she can't get outside, but as long as she is in the house she is safe.

I don't see anything wrong with doing what you're doing. I would be mindful of your time because it does have a way of slipping by especially if you're doing something you love, like gardening. I would tell him how happy you are that he does so well while you're doing blah blah blah and be sure to discipline if something happens you're not comfortable with.

We have too many helicopter mom's, they are always hovering over their children watching their every move. I think what you're doing is fine.

it is perfectly normal to leave them alone a little at this age as long as you are close by to check on him

I've got four kids: 7, 5, 3 and 2... I won't leave my 2 year old alone for longer than a minute or so, but my 3, 5 and 7 year old's all have had a larger amount of time alone for this and that... the 5 and 7 year old also started at about the age of 3. I always know what they are doing, and check in on them, too- and not for long periods of time. But, GOSH I wouldn't get ANYTHING done if I didn't do that!!! LOL!

As long as you're checking on him, yes. You have to be able to walk away for a minute, especially with another little one around! It teaches them a little independence, and gives you a tiny little break to do something else. As long as he's in a safe place, your house, FENCED in yard etc. I think its fine. I just started leaving my two year old in the living room while I get ready down the hall and dont check on him every 5 secs like I used to. Saves alot of time!

My 16 month old often wonders off to play in her room alone. Of course I sneak in and check on her every few minutes (without her seeing me), her room is super duper baby-proofed, and I always keep the monitors on so I can hear. I agree with other moms that you need some space, even if it is only 60 seconds. Also, it is great for him that he can learn to entertain himself and be without you for a period of time. It shows that he is developing well.

Every child is different and maybe that is not suitable for her child, or her. If your child can be trusted for a bit to get something done, there is nothing wrong with stepping away. If you know your child is mischievous, then you would know better.

You are doing just fine.

Its fine.
My son is 3 too... and I do that too.
My son is also super independent and will actually tell me "Mommy, you can go now... I want to play.." and then I go and do my chores etc.
BUT, he knows to call me for ANYTHING... and he does.
He knows our "rules" in the house and for his behavior.
He is astute.
Still, he is a child, so I know the limitations of his age and safety. I always check on him or tell him what I am doing even if in the next room.
I always give him a head's up.
And I also still use our baby monitor to "hear" him... if I am in another room.. he knows I can 'hear' him and uses it to 'call' me etc.

My son is behaviorally normal and a boy. I gauge him and he knows me... and our routines. That always helps.
Or I always 'talk' to him, when in the next room, so I know what he is doing.
And in public, yes, he is NEVER unattended. I am always supervising... and he too, keeps my in eye distance.

All the best,
Susan

are you kidding? i wouldn't get anything done if i didn't leave my older one alone! she's 4 1/2 now, but when she was about three it started with me taking a quick shower while the tv was on (of course, i checked first to make sure there wasn't anything she could get into and the doors were all locked)-- and it's progressed to the point where i can bathe the baby and put her to bed, or take the dog outside, or go get the mail (our mailbox is right across the street from our house) without worry. like everyone else has said, you are giving your child safe boundaries to learn some independence. if you don't start with little things like that, then when you expect them to be independent they will have no idea how! you're doing fine. and i'm assuming your friend either only has one child or is super mom??

You've had so many positive answers, but I just wanted to give you one more! :) Sometimes we need it after conversations like those!

You are FINE! STOP worrying about what your friends do as parents or think of you as a parent. We are all different in what we will allow our children to do and that isn't a bad thing. People are different and it's okay.

Your child is safe and that's what is important. Accidents do happen, but we cannot be with our child every moment of every day. It's impossible.

I leave my daughter unattended while I use the restroom, do the laundry, dishes, etc. all while she plays in the living room or in her room. I didn't go childproofing crazy, but she is safe. I like what the other poster said about quiet! That's how I know I've left for too long and she's getting into trouble. We have a ranch home so it's pretty easy to keep track of where she is and what she's getting into, but I usually will call her name every so often and ask her what she's doing just so she knows mommy is still around and still "watching" her. :)

You are doing nothing wrong at all! I have an almost 9yo, just turned 3yo, and just turned 2 yo. I was able to leave my oldest unattended for a few minutes. I always made sure there were no poisons around, and was within earshot of her, and told her where and what I was doing. She could entertain herself. On the other hand, with my 2 and 3 yo, it's a different story. They get into things together, so I am not yet comfortable doing chores and stuff away from them. I think if you have good instincts, then you will know what is right for your family. 3 is a perfect age for your child to gain a sense of independence.

I did the same exact thing at the same age, if not earlier. I think a mother knows when she can trust her child to behave and when the child is going to set the house on fire. Accidents happen but that is why you check in every few minutes. Maybe this person has a child who WILL get into things and she knows that she could never leave her child at home so it just seems unthinkable to her. You are fine, just be sure to always peek in to make sure nothing happens. :o)

Absolutely. My daughter who is now almost 4 is downstairs in the playroom all the time by herself- watching movies, coloring, painting, doing puzzles- you name it. She also has access to our backyard that is completely fenced in. She does know she's not allowed to leave the yard and never does. She has been doing this for over a year. She's very independent and I think allowing her to have some freedom has helped a great deal. Children need to know they're trusted and learn their independence. You know your child better than anyone else and make appropriate decisions based on that. I think we all know not to run to the store or something like that with a child that age home alone but what you're doing is absolutely fine.

what does she want you to do follow him around 24/7??? your a good M. dont sweat it!

I think it depends on how much you can trust your child. My daughter was fine with being left alone like that at even age 2 while I took showers and such but my 2.5 YO son I cant leave alone for a second with out him getting into trouble LOL Im just lucky my mom is now retired and living with us and she helps me with the kids aas much as she is able