I Was Hoping for Some Advice on Ways to Be Pro-active, My Son Failed His M-CHAT

Hi B. - Please call me directly. Do not waste any time on this. Your son is entitled to services for FREE through First Steps. I am an Autism specialist, I do have a web site- but don't waste any time on this. Get a full evaluation through First Steps. Call me directly at ###-###-####. He can get free Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Developmental Therapy in your home. I am leaving town on Sunday May 31, and will be gone for 12 days. Call me very soon, and yoou can get this started NOW. Love G.

Its so frustrating trying to figure out how to "work the systerm," especially when all the professionals take the "wait and see" approach.

I had concerns about my son's speech and behaviors when he was 13 months old. PAT took 6 months to get someone assigned to me (school district had to do some hiring). He failed their initial screening in April so they said they would try again in the fall. So they came back in September, where he failed again. They made a referral to First Steps, who took a couple of months to evaluate. Needless to say, when my son was 22 months old he received a diagnosis of autism and started various therapies at 23 months of age. It took 10 months to get something I thought we might need help with. Our pediatrician wasn't much more helpful because he wanted to wait another six months to see how he was doing. Our new dr. would never wait that long.

So, after my experiences, here's what I would do -
Always trust the MOMMY INSTINCTS. If you feel something isn't right, fight for help. Hopefully its nothing as traumatic as autism, maybe you are over-reacting, but its always better to know for sure. If you haven't already asked your pediatrician for advice, do that. Then call First Steps yourself and ask for an evaluation (for speech but also developmental, and occupational - especially a sensory evaluation). They say it takes longer when a parent makes the request vs. PAT or a dr. but parents are allowed to make the request themselves. And if they take too long, call again . . . as many times as you need to. Worst thing they can do is do their evaluations and say you're crazy, there's nothing wrong - and that would be such a relief to you. If your son does test speech delayed but not enough to qualify for First Steps then you could try to get some speech therapy through your insurance but you can always ask for another evalutation from First Steps a few months down the road. Also, while waiting or doing all the First Steps evaluations, you can get your son's hearing tested just to make sure that's not the reason for a speech delay. (If he did have a hearing problem, it wouldn't make it so he didn't qualify for help, it would just change what kind of help they gave him.)

I hope this helps, L.

Our oldest did not start talking until she was about 26 months old. She is now almost 4 and has no problems at all. My PAT person was a little concerned when she was almost 2 but basically told me as long as I was hearing at least 5-10 words from her on a regular basis, I shouldn't be worried. I knew she could talk, she just wouldn't so I was not terribly concerned. She was also what most people would consider very shy. She would not talk to or interact with most people including some people that she saw on a regular basis. The words started coming more regularly as she learned more about her world and developed trusting relationships. It sounds like you are doing the right things. Encourage short sentences. Do not give him the drink until he says the word. I tell my kids all the time to use their words when they want something. When you hear a word that you understand, repeat it back to him. If he says it in his own way, say it back the correct way and try to help him say it right. Have him watch your mouth as you say the word.

If you feel like there is actually something wrong and it is not just his personality that needs more time, the First Steps is a great place to start. They have a more in depth evaluation and the Therapists will be able to teach you as well as your son. PAT are really trained to help identify problems, not how to treat them. Be patient but follow your instincts. You know him best so if you think there is a problems then there probably is. If you are just starting to think that because of some stupid generalized test, then put the test out of your mind and keep doing what you are doing and he will get it.

My grandson was very hard to understand when he started speaking, he ended up with free pre-school through Parent's As Teacher's, now he's in Kindergarten and he's been released by his speech teacher. So I look on it as a blessing that he got to go to pre-school in this way.
I also have a cousin who didn't speak till she was 3, she is not close to 30 and extremely intelligent, top in her class in High School and College. This is just to say you never know, maybe he just didn't want to talk to someone who he doesn't know well, my son was that way, they would throw a ball to him and he would let it hit him and wouldn't throw it back, they said he lagged behind in gross motor skills LOL!
Look at your health insurance or call see if you have any options about having him tested by an individual Child Specialist, we were able to see a councilor for awhile when one of my grandkids needed some reassurance. People don't think about their health insurance covering developmental problems that could be helped by seeing someone.

My son was (still has issues) speech delayed due to not building up the muscles in his jaws and tongue. Therefore, he literally couldn't move his tongue around in his mouth to make words or sounds. I started with my pediatrician, then Children's Mercy evaluated him at 3. (I was concerned at 2 but the doctor thought he was using all his energy in physical movements - he sat up by himself at 3 1/2 months, walked early, etc.) That's when I was able to get the ball rolling. My son had speech therapy through CM, then through the school district and finally with a private therapist. She is the one who got him to where he is today (not perfect, but still working on it). So, my recommendation is start with your pediatrician. He/she should be concerned as well. PAT are great but not as knowledgeable as professionals. Good luck!

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to tell you to keep your chin up! You are being proactive and right there that tells me what a good mom you are. Don't feel stupid - it's not the same when it's your own kids. Hang in there!

Hi B.,
I am normally a fan of the wait and see approach, but in this particular circumstance I've learned that it is better to be proactive. I certainly wouldn't wait until he is 3 to try to get a diagnosis. You will only qualify for services through 1st steps while he is under 3 years old. Which means if you start now, he could get up to a year of much needed services. I would follow up with first steps, and possibly even see your doctor for a referral to have his hearing and/or speech delay evaluated.

Let me explain where I am coming from. I am a mom of 3, and my youngest daughter who is now 3 1/2 year old was diagnosed with Autism when she was 27th months old. Because we had already been referred to First steps through PAT she was already receiving speech and occupational therapy services through first steps. Once we got her diagnosis from children's mercy she was able to start getting ABA therapy specifically to help with her autism. She made so much progress in the year we were in first steps, and I learned so much about how to help her that I don't want anyone to miss out on those services because they took a wait and see approach. Her diagnosis didn't come through First steps, they just evaluated her eligibility for services. The diagnosis came through referrals from her doctor. She was acting like she couldn't hear, but then she would pass all of the hearing tests with flying colors. They referred us to a speech therapist at Children's mercy to evaluate her speech delay, and they referred us to Children's Mercy's Behavior and Developmental Specialists. They were the ones who were qualified to help us find a diagnosis. I wish you luck, and hopefully all he will need is speech therapy services. Early intervention makes such a big difference, please don't just wait and see what happens in this particular case.
J.

I would start at the library and read all you can to find ways to help help your son. Then you need to fight for him. My parents went through this with my little brother and they are still fighting for him at 29. It took them until he was five to get someone to listen to their concerns. I would just research like crazy then use trial and error. Even if nothing is wrong the extra attention won't hurt him. Good luck and God Bless.

In Illinois, there is a place called Child and Family Development that is a government run program that assists children of all ages. I am telling you this because you might be able to contact them and see if they know if their is a MO/KS program. I was introduced to them when my daughter was 10 months old because she was delayed in her fine motor skills and I didn't see it. I breasfed her until she was 11 months old and I would use my lunch hour to go to the daycare to nurse her and one day I was there to nurse when one of the therapist's was there to work with a baby who was delayed because she was a preemie due to being a triplet. After she was finished with her session, she started talking to me and asking me questions about my daughter and how she acted at home. She told me that she had been watching her and noticed that she was lacking some skills and was wondering if I was willing to have my daughter evaluated. Of course, I was skeptical at first, I was thinking that my daughter was perfect and that she just needed a little more time and that this woman just wanted money or something. Well, she left me some information anyway and I talked to my husband about it that night. After doing some research, I realized that my daughter was quite behind and we did have her evaluated. The cost was actually quite minimal, she ended up needing 3 different types of therapists (a physical therapist, an occuaptional therapist, and another one that I can't remember now). It didn't matter if she needed 1 therapist or 10, it was still only the one flat monthly fee, and I only wish that I would have done it sooner. She was in therapy for just under a year and she is a totally different child. When she started, again at 10 months, she couldn't sit up by herself. If you sat her in the middle of the floor she could sit there for hours, but if she fell over she couldn't get herself back up. She couldn't crawl, forget walking or scooting. By 16 months, she was walking, talking in broken sentences, running, just a totally different person. If you can find a place that get him help sooner, please, get it. You will be so much happier.

engaging him more....don't you hate that phrase???!!! You're Mom, you're doing your thing....& now you've been given a recommendation without any constructive instruction! My heart goes out to you.

Call your PAT rep & ask for specific ideas. They have excellent resources at hand....& check for reputable resources online. One key phrase would be: behavior modification for autistic children. I used a similar search when trying to find new ways to "engage" my son who battles ADD.

That said, some of the methods I have used thru the years are very basic: when working with a toy, I move that toy up toward my face & say the word. I prompt several times to encourage the child to repeat the word. I also encourage that all important eye contact by simply saying, "look at me"....I use this for instruction time & even for redirection/discipline. I still say it for my 12 y.o.! I also avoid asking ?? which can be answered with "yes" or "no". I skew the question around so that the child has to answer with a word/sentence....basically making them make a choice - which also helps with decision- making skills. Lots of little things like this may help!

On to another part of this subject, your son is going to be 2....next week! My younger son did not speak conversationally until well after two. We found that being the youngest, he was "talked to"....with other family members answering for him. We did not allow him the time to form his own response, did not actively encourage his speech....all thru not being able to wait for him! Once we realized how we needed to change our dynamics, then he blossomed. By combining the eye contact, word repetition, & lots of patience....we all broke thru the barriers which we had placed in his path. I sincerely hope your answers are this easy....I wish you Peace.

Good Morning B., I have no idea what M-CHAT is. I think I know what PAT is Parents as Teachers? Anyway you could be describing our 19 month old gr son Zane, so he would probably fail the test ( whatever it is lol ) also.
I can understand Shoe, Drink, Bye, Momma,Yum, Cheese when we take his picture, and yesterday he said Dogie. His brother Corbin by this age was putting 3-4 words together already.

Zane is also a thumb sucker so I have been working on stopping that, thinking if I could get his thumb out of his mouth he might start talking more instead of shaking his head yes or no. Little guy didn't like Apple Cider vinegar on his thumb or elderberry juice concentrate, would shake his hands, point, cry, jabber at me, wiping it on his shirt. Silly boy loved the hot sauce though....lol

I can't get him to sit still on my lap long enough to do flash cards, or read stories to him. I talk to him & his brother constantly, we say words not baby words, we sing songs....etc

So B. as far as advice goes, I have none :( we need it also. Will be interested to read other mama's suggestions for you.

God Bless you and yours
K. Nana of 5

OK, I am totally unfamiliar with M-Chat and PAT...don't know what they stand for, but I will tell you that my (just turned) 2 yr old is actively speaking and has since 16 months. Since she is fascinated with babies, every morning while she's eating her breakfast, we look through baby magazines. I ask her questions about each page, such as, "what is this baby doing?" and "what is on this baby's head". It forces her to answer me and she learns from that. When we see a new situation (photo), I tell her the word to use so she can learn what it is. Since she was an infant, I have always talked to her with questions so she knows she's expected to talk back. My daughter is now even identifying colors (thanks to her daycare). When we see flowers, I ask, "what color are they?". Also, was there any discussion about having his hearing checked? Again, I'm no expert, just an old mom (52) doing this for the first time.

Hi B.,

I'm sure testing, activities, etc. have all changed since my son was little, but sounds like our experiences have been similar. I have 3 children (all grown now) and to a lot of people our youngest looked delayed as he didn't walk until he was 17mons old (his older siblings walked at 20 mon and 18 mons) and didn't talk until he was 2 1/2 yrs.
The thing that was going on that I knew he was learning was he kept pointing to things...numbers, letters, & objects, etc. & making a noise (much like when a little one wants something, but can not yet talk) so I knew he wanted to know what it was. So we always told him what it was he was pointing at. Then at 2 1/2 when he started talking he knew his numbers, the alphabet, colors, etc.
Later on we had him tested by an Occupational Therapist because he had some mannerisms that resembled Autism and he was diagnosed with Sensory Integration & had therapy for about a year, I do believe that he has Autism also, but he is so high functioning that we have never had it officially diagnosed. He is now 21, a jr in college with 3.5-4.0 GPA. I don't know if this will help you, but this has been our experience. Also I have heard that sometimes younger siblings don't talk as early as they have their older siblings to do the talking for them. Try not to worry & do what you think in your heart is best. Have a great day! ~J.

I'm no authority on this but I did have my first child have similar speech issues and we were advised to get speech therapy for him which only lasted a very short time. We took him to KU med center for it and they were very good. What I didn't do to engage him, since you asked more on that, was that if he wanted a drink and said 'ba' or whatever he would say, I would just say 'do you want a drink' and give it to him. He never had to ask or say anything as I knew everything before it happened. Not good on my part. So we were told that when he wanted a drink he had to say 'Please give me a drink' or whatever he could say at that time. He had to speak in even short sentences and not little sounds or small words. He couldn't just say 'drink' even. I think he was a bit older than your son but it may help even down the road with him. Our son could speak fine but was just lazy maybe and also when he did start talking more he spoke too fast and had to be slowed down to understand him. I hope you find something helpful but don't panic yet. He's very young still and it's not that unusual for kids his age to not talk a lot. Boys are slower talking too sometimes. Talk 'with' him and not just 'to' him. Does that make any sense?