I Think My Niece Needs Help!

Well its sound really bad, the parents needs to stop all that milk, she.suppose to be getting around 24 oz or less a day...
Something similar happened to me with my oldest daughter (not that bad) when she was around 2.5 years old after not giving her milk only water all morning then around 4: pm I served dinner she finish her whole plate with chicken noodles and vegies, and she's still picky eater...but what I'm trying to say she's probably getting full with all that milk, about the wipes her body probably is thirsty and is trying to get water from there...I think this is a adult problem ....

I would not speak to anyone but them if you plan on speaking up. I would be very disapointed that the daycare was not speaking to her, they are the first responders, so to speak, for developmental issues, and this is one that either everyone has missed, or everyone has let Mom and Dad ignore. The gagging is the give away. If she were just a picky eater, she would still be eating first baby foods. As soon as she went a few weeks learning to eat solids, gagging on the spoon, Mom and Dad should have been given their huge red flag from the daycare, the doctor, and their own reading about introducing solids to a baby. The referal should have come swiftly at the 9 month check up, or the year check up, or the 18 month check up when the doctor questioned them about what she was eating. So many people have failed this poor baby. She needed to see either an Occupational therapist or a Speech Therapist who specialized in feeding issues, sensory issues, and oral motor disfunction, which is so way out of control now, it may be a major issue to treat in therapy.

The Daycare knows that this child is not eating and that she is eating baby wipes. I do not know what else they need to know about neglect, even if it is neglect by means of a failure to act on a developmental need gone awry, by not brining it to Mom and Dad's attention in no uncertain terms long ago, they have heaped on the illusion that nothing is wrong here, and Mom and Dad have some right to be a little disapointed that people who see typcial children every day did not sound the alarm to them until they got the message. You did not really have the same duty, and the daycare put you in a bad spot, but it is where you are. I don't think I could sit by and watch it anymore.

She may be happy, but how is her speech? The muscles that babies use to chew and move food from the front of their mouths to the back are essential for clear speech development. If she is hard to understand speech wise, and does not have more than 50 words and is not using at least two of them in simple sentances, Mom and Dad have more to worry about than feeding. It is a cascading issue.

Sucking on Baby wipes sounds like a sensory issue, although it may also be something called "pica" meaning that people eat things that are not really food.

This family needs intervention. I would also wonder what the daycare had not been telling me...

M.

mr2

This much be so scary for you, I'm sorry it is happening. I don't think I've seen this before. Will the parents listen to the pediatrician? Maybe if the doctor gives them a referral to a nutritionist? She almost sounds like she needs to be re-introduced to solids much like a 10-month old (assuming she was ever introduced to them in the first place.) Sounds like her parents, no matter how well-meaning, kind of "forgot" to start cutting down on milk and starting real food, and maybe now they don't want to deal with it because they've got a tantruming two-year old instead of a compliant 1-year old. As for the sucking on the wipes, I'm no professional but I suspect that she would be doing it for comfort and also because her body needs more nutrients than just those that are in milk. I can't imagine that could be good for her. My usual mantra is "they'll eat when they're hungry" but I think in this case some intervention could really do your niece and her parents some good.

I can see why you are concerned! I'm wondering if you should encourage the Daycare to go ahead and report them. Maybe give it one last shot intervention style with your nieces parents but that may not be something you want to do in the long run the most helpful. You have enough experience with this child to know the situation. There is something very wrong and the sooner it is fixed the better for this child. The Baby wipes are killing me! My jaw hung open for the rest of the post! I've never heard of a parent letting them suck on them. It seems the same to me as handing her a bottle of dishsoap.

There are some smart ladies who have posted here and I bet they are right about the sensory disorder. I think you have to think of it this way. Ultimately your nieces health takes precedent and this is extreme, not something you can ignore or "mind your own business" about as it's starting to affect her health. That said if you don't have to be the bad guy and can support your inlaws in what may be a hard road and Daycare intervenes that may be best. I would be honest if they ask. Let them know the Daycare has started looking to you for help getting her to eat, etc.! All the best!

The daycare is a mandated reporter. THEY NEED TO TURN THIS IN so she gets some help!

If you have spoken with the mother and father and they won't heed your advice, there is little else you can do besides call social services yourself and report this. (They will be able to connect them with people who can help.)

Good luck.

PS> Sucking on the wipes thing is NOT okay! You're right on the fact that there is still things in there that are not meant to be digested! Her body is craving nutrients and that is most likely why she is doing that......

I'm sorry to say that I don't have any information for you, but I just wanted to validate your concerns. I'd say that at the very least this situation needs to be addressed with a pediatrician, in as much detail as you provided here, immediately. Something, possibly serious, is going on here. God bless you for your concern for this little one. I would try to get some other concerned adults together to talk to your niece, and implore her to share all this info with a doctor.

Best wishes to you all. Please keep us posted.

She can't continue to drink that much milk. It's way too much. A two year old needs 24-32 oz. of milk a day. That's it.

She must go to the pediatrician in cae there are other issues. Perhaps sensory issues or texture issues.

There are so many potential issues here, it's hard to know where to start. I guess I would start by saying... there's very little you can do b/c you are not the parent here. If they don't see a problem, then all you can do is continue to make observations and suggestions.

At this age, she doesn't have an "eating disorder" but she could be headed in that direction. Do a quick google search for malnutrition in toddlers and see what the signs and symptoms are... if your niece demontrates these symptoms, you can call CPS anonymously and file a report.

More likely, you need to have a real conversation with the child's mother. At this age she should have a complete Early Intervention evaluation to determine if there are any sensory issues or oral-motor issues that are perpetuating the behaviors or if she is starting to demonstrate some "control issues" with her parents.

This isn't something they should play around with, but THEY need to do it... unless CPS gets involved.

of course she is not eating! why should she when she fills up on milk. my 18mnth old loves milk, but we only give him 16oz a a day otherwise he wouldnt eat. children will not let themselves go hungry. give her 16oz only and give her other food options, with in three days she will cave and start eating solids

Here is a link to Pediatric eating disorders-it is a real thing and it sounds like your neice has it. Took me a second to find this so I am sure you can get a lot more info now that you know the name.

I would definitely have an 'intervention' with her parents armed with this information. They need to know that this is not normal.

http://www.childrenandbabiesnoteating.com/index.html

My child would have been this way. I had to be the mom and stop letting her fill up on milk. It was a health issue. I made sure a variety of food was sitting around the kitchen table(grapes, carrots cut up into small pieces, healthy crackers, etc...) I offered her food every four hours and she transitioned.

We have to limit my 3 year old to 2 cups of milk a day (of coarse he can have as much water as he wants) or he will not eat he also eats several small meals because he is overwhelmed by 3 large ones. It sounds like she is filling up on milk plus maybe she has some food allergies/sensitivities a symptom of that is dark circles under the eyes. Her parents should take her into the dr now instead of waiting until her next checkup.

The baby wipes thing is freaking me out too. I have chemical sensitivities, and there are about a thousand things that chemical ingredients can do to a person, short term (disturbances to the nervous system, dizziness, nausea, sleep and breathing disturbances, changes in cognitive function, etc.) and long term (hormone disruption, organ poisoning, cancers, etc.). There's a very informative website that reviews different brands of all kinds of toiletries and personal products called Skin Deep Safety (http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/)

Baby wipes and many other personal care products are not regulated for safety. There are 87 brands of wipes listed on this site, using different ingredients. Some are pretty innocuous WHEN USED ON THE SKIN, and some are considered fairly hazardous. None of them are rated for ingestion by mouth, and that would increase the potential hazards posed by many of the ingredients. see http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/browse.php?category=baby... for more detail. (This is the nastiest end of the list – you can page backward to the less dangerous brands.)

So your niece could be becoming slowly poisoned. And the ingredients in many of these wipes can cause "neurotoxicity" and "biochemical or cellular level changes, "organ toxicity" and other effects that could influence her health in any number of ways, including increasing or decreasing her appetite for certain foods or making her nervous system too sensitive to certain kinds of input (like food textures). And food allergies themselves, as a milk allergy, for example, can sometimes be expressed as a craving for the very thing one is allergic to. And cow's milk is not a complete food for humans. Even as the body begins to suffer from unbalanced nutrition, tolerance builds up to the body's reactions, but this results in a "crash" of sorts when the substance is withdrawn, and that crash can be distressing and uncomfortable.

In short, too much milk could be making your niece unable to tolerate having the milk taken away, and baby wipe ingredients could have any number of other health effects. Depending on the brand, she could be ingesting truly dangerous levels of toxic ingredients. Click through the list above to find the brand her parents are giving her, then click on that brand to find out what it contains and what the possible effects of those ingredients are. This website is a fantastic resource for quickly assessing all sorts of personal products we bring into our lives.

Be alarmed, and let your alarm show. Please don't let your niece's parents go on ignoring the possible harm these habits can cause her, including poisoning and malnutrition. Even if her main problem is sensory dysfunction, she needs help.

Very scary and helpless feeling for you I'm sure! She is probably very anemic (dark circles and weight loss are classic signs for that age group). Drinking only milk leads to essentially no iron intake, which our bodies need! It sounds to me like you need to be her advocate because nobody else will. I would definately talk with her parents and explain your concerns. Print up some articles to support your cause....maybe they truely don't understand the repercussions to the situation they are allowing to happen. If you get resistance from the parents you can always call their pediatrican, ask to speak with him or her (stress the importance of talking directly with the pediatrician because they need to hear the details themselves to understand the seriousness of the situation). You could also write a letter to the pediatrician explaining all your concerns that way it's in writing. Like others have stressed, this sounds like a very serious situation that needs to be addressed soon! Fight for this little girl before it's too late. Her parents will probably thank you later. Best of luck to you!

I agree that you are not overreacting. I also agree that she should not be given any milk. That would cause her to be hungry. She would probably eat if she were hungry. Milk is very filling. I'd say start with a soft, easy to eat food. yogurt, pudding, etc- they are both similar to her favorite "food" and work from there. I know you are not the mother, but if the opportunity presents itself (you are at the day care, or maybe babysitting), that is what I would do. You can also suggest this to her parents.

Also, not that this would help her in the eating solids department, but Ensure for kids is much more nutritious than milk. I'd give her that until she is starting to eat solids regularly.

For the baby wipe: When I was pregnant with my first, I remember the nurse gave me a list of weird things (cigarette ashes, bleach, etc) and asked me to let them know if I ever craved anything on the list. She explained that if I did, then it shows that I have a deficiency in a nutrient. The baby wipe thing reminded me of that. It may very well be a sign of deficiency that is likes sucking on it (not that you probably assume she's got a deficiency anyway). I would assume as well, that it can't be at all good for her.

Good luck. I wish your niece the best.

Check out the first answer. This sounds like it could be, at least partially, a sensory processing disorder. There are therapies that can help. Good luck in convincing the parents that something is amiss.