Hi A., You know, we send our kids in every day to the wolves and call it school, tell them to toughen up, don't bother with peer pressure, stand up for yourself, be happy with what you have. Sound familiar? Looks good on paper.
Fact is, more and more kids are without God in the schools and they are cruel to those that are sweet and tender hearted. What can you do?
I had one mom brag to me that her daughter drags them out to Dallas to buy name brand clothing all the time and oh the expense. She asked where my daughter liked to go. I was never good at politics. I told her that my daughter is lovely and has one of those figures where she can wear anything. She has good taste and the name on the pants is not what is important to her but how the clothes look and feels when she wears them. I said I wouldn't have a clue the latest brand names. Of course she looked shocked and I had to laugh. I decided long ago that other people's opinions didn't make who I was but it took awhile to get there and I was a grown up. Some of that rubbed off on my kids.
Give her the bag and lucky you that it was free. As for the other one, sell it in the garage sale or can you still take it back? Might also be time for your daughter to do some babysitting to make some of her own money and buy some of those designer clothes and items you all can't afford.
I'll tell you a story: My sister and her family moved to Alaska. They had a fire before they left and lost everything. No jobs, no belongings, only the truck and kids. Hard way to be.
They were poor in the true sense of the word for awhile. My brother-in-law started his own business but it never really made any money.
One day my niece, getting to be a teen like your daughter, came to her mom and asked her if she could have NEW clothes, not garage sale clothes or thrift shop clothes. She didn't want kids to see her wearing their clothes to school. My niece is a very strong individual (She's going to be a lawyer now) but even that was too much for her to handle. So my sister went back to school on top of her job and now owns her own business and does very well for the family. She sacrificed all her free time so her daughter didn't have to go to school looking ragged. Not designer mind you, just attractive so she could feel pretty and not worry about her appearance so she could concentrate on her studies.
You can't change the way things are just because you tell her to suck it up, ignore peer pressure. Breaks your heart doesn't it?
Anyway you could go back to school? Can she find a babysitting job to help herself? Do you have a computer? Maybe you all can make money that way?
Hugs to you and your family, C.
PS: no matter what, always let her know how proud you are of her and how beautiful you think she is and how thankful you are to have such a sweet caring daughter. Might be wise also to open communication and find out who and where all the pressure is coming from. May have to address that.