My 4-yr-old doesn't seem to sleep well at night. She gets up many times at night and wakes me up. Some times she has to go potty but not always. Is there any way I can get my daughter to go back to sleep by herself?
**I forgot to mention that she does not take a nap. She has not taken a nap for almost 2 years now. I try really hard to keep her routine and schedule are kept most of the time. I try to put her to bed at the same time every night but she always seems to get up a bunch of times before she goes to sleep at night. I have told her that she is allowed to play with the toys (her penguins and doll) in her bed until she is tired enough to go to sleep.
Also, I always put her back in her bed and insist that she sleeps in her own bed. She is not alone in the room. She shares it with my 1-yr-old. That's another part of the problem: I try to keep the noise to a minimum so we don't wake up her sister. The other thing is that she is not always coherent when she gets up. Sometimes I'm not sure how awake she is when she gets up. But she ALWAYS comes and gets me.
Last night wasn't so bad. I got her (and her sister) outside for a while to get them some fresh air and to get them to expend some energy. It's just so hard at this time of the year because it's so hot. She got up a couple of time around 12:30 am (once to go potty). I told her that she needed to stay in bed and that I didn't want to see her again until the morning. We also had a discussion about staying in bed when we were going through her bed time routine. Hopefully she will do well again tonight.
When you tuck her in tell her she needs to stay in bed all night and you will see her in the morning. When she comes in in the middle of the night pick her up and bring her back to bed kiss her and SAY NOTHING. Do not engage in conversation. If she comes back to it again and again and again but say nothing.
Here goes - the unpopular opinion. My almost 4 year old is the same way. We have gotten her to GO to sleep about 50% of the time by herself - the other times I stay with her. When she comes in at night...75% of the time, I let her crawl in with me and my husband. My instict tells me she needs something, she tells me she "needs us and is afraid alone". When we try to break the habit - if it doesn't end in the next year on it's own, we will try the sleeping bad theory... for what it's worth, it's not a battle I chose to fight, and secretly I enjoy our routine... someday she won't "need" me like this. I'm choosing to enjoy it...
Is she actually coming to you and waking you, or do you just wake up b/c she's up and you hear her? If she is actually waking you up, you need to have a sit down and explain her options...she should be able to potty by herself and go back to her room. I would tell her you won't be getting up or responding to her unless she has an emergency. Maybe, as others suggested, put a sleeping bag or something in your room for her to sleep on if she comes in. If that works I would let that happen for a week or two and then tell her that she has to stay in her room, no more sleeping bag option. I would basically ignore her as best as possible and even fake sleeping if you have to for her to understand that she can't wake you just because.
If she's waking you b/c she's just loud...I have no advice! We have the same problem here lately with my 2 year old!
Have you tried cutting out all nap times,and making sure she gets up early? Maybe some good running around after dinner,followed by a bath with some lavender oil! She may just be a bundle of energy,and if not enough of it is burned off,she may be more prone to waking up throughout the night! I would also cut out any sugary foods after lunch. Don't forget that fruits also contain alot of natural sugar! Save those for breakfast and lunch!
Good luck!
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Have you tried cutting out all nap times,and making sure she gets up early? Maybe some good running around after dinner,followed by a bath with some lavender oil! She may just be a bundle of energy,and if not enough of it is burned off,she may be more prone to waking up throughout the night! I would also cut out any sugary foods after lunch. Don't forget that fruits also contain alot of natural sugar! Save those for breakfast and lunch!
Good luck!
Actually, if she did take a nap, she would probably sleep better. It does not have to be a long nap, at least an hour would suffice.
cut out the sugar/caffine, if she's having any in the early evening. Its a stimulant and may be keeping her from sleeping straight thru. Good luck!
I too am of the unpopular opinion... I feel we try to get our kids to be "adult" too quickly. I still cuddle because it's only 11 years for my daughter and 15 for my son until I'm the one that needs cuddling:) Be unconditionally supportive now, and she might actually come to you of her own free choice when it's really important later:)
You mentioned she shares her room... maybe she needs some just-her time with you, not sharing Mom a few minutes when all is quiet? I know you're tired, but talk with her like you would enjoy when you are upset -- she's old enough to be respected and might surprise you when she opens up.
Good luck and great patience to you Mom:)
you've gotten good advice. I would just add to put a night light in the bathroom. And try to minimize liquids after dinner.
Is she able to go to the bathroom on her own? Just tell her to go back to bed. Make sure she isn't napping during the day.
Kids are very smart. They try something that they know is a "no-no" but if it works they keep doing it.
The worst times is when they get sick because then we try to do everything for them to feel better, even sleep in our beds, or watch TV late.
And what about when they finally decide use the potty? Will won't mind waking up at 3am to bring them to the potty because we are soo exited they finally got it and want to!
However they notice that too, lol.
At 4 year old she knows she should stay at bed and try to sleep, most likely she wakes up for what ever reason (we all wake up many times at night) and she knows she can go and wake you up.
How you deal with it depends on every mom.
I am a little more into teach them how to comeback to sleep or to stay in bed and at least give it a try.
Talk to her, tell her what you expect from her, why is so important for her and you to have a good night sleep. When is ok and when is not ok to come and wake you up.
Example: You can come over if you feel pain, wet your bed, etc. but if not you should stay at bed until you can see sun light.
If she can go to the bathroom I would put a night light so she can go her self.
Also good idea if she is getting up because she is afraid.
have you ask her why she is getting up other then just need go to the bathroom?
put her on a sleeping bag in your room, no liquids after 6 pm, put her to bed earlier and have a consistent wake time because when kids are over tired they wake up more often at night, Also make sure you have a slow calm, night time routine, that helps her relax before she falls asleep, better to spend an hour with her gettign jammies on brushing teeth and reading stories at 6 or 7 pm than to wake up at 3, 4 and 5 am because she is tired.
my kids were bad sleepers too, i wish i would have had this advice then, at around 5 they out grew it on their own, or our lifestyle changed or something so don't give up hope. If you have to put the tv on make sure she is safe and take a nap yourself.
