I Need Helping Getting My 3 1/2 Yr Old to Poop in the potty......please.

Stop making it an issue at all. Just don't worry about it. Quietly clean up. No chastising. No looks of disgust. No quiet little remarks of disapproval. The more you make it a battle the more she will hold onto control.....which she ultimately has.

Is there somewhere she wants to go? School, the zoo? Etc... Kindly tell her when she learns to poop in the potty she can go. Not just once, but a week or something. When she decides she wants whatever it is she may go. But don't make it a threat.

It is highly unlikely she will want to continue like this much longer. Try and be patient.

That's my best guess.

My daughter has had similar issues, but she won't go in a diaper or a potty when it gets bad. After getting things super soft with Miralax she'll STILL try to hold it in and we go through lots of undies (I just keep a bucket of water with oxyclean in it in the laundry room to toss dirty stuff in and launder it ever other day when she goes through those spells.

One thought for your daughter might be to see if you can get her to poop into the diaper with it on the potty chair- instead of fastened onto her. Once she masters that (if you can convince her to do that) then maybe you can put the diaper into the bucket part of the potty seat, then move on to no diaper at all at her own pace. I know it sounds like a lot of work- but just thought it might be worth trying. You could even start with her trying to poop into a diaper next to the potty if that initial step is too scary for her. And in my opinion always reward each success, never punish (last thing you need is a child terrified to poop, afraid to tell you she had an accident... etc- that creates so many more issues).

Something that has helped my child is I give her Fiber gummy treats (sold at Target brand name Pedialax) and I cut back on cheeses (Kroger sells a good Veggie Slices that tastes like american cheese that my daughter adores in grilled cheese sandwhiches). Unfortunatly her favorite treat is cottage cheese, so I usually use that as a reward for pooping in the potty. I avoid the miralax whenever I can, but that is beter than resorting to the enema or supossitories. Best of luck- this is a tough issue, but you aren't alone!

PS- rasberries dipped in a bit of splenda are a terrific high fiber treat taht speeds the process along- and allowing apple juice to drink can help too (I buy the light Calcium fortified type).

Hi T.,

I understand your frustration. My little guy finally became totally potty trained just before he turned 4. We went through a lot of what you're describing. Two things happened that made him totally potty trained. He wasn't allowed to come back to pre-school until he could have no more accidents (school's rules) AND we promised to buy him a video game he had been wanting if he could go a week with no accidents. We also quit nagging about it and basically ignored the issue other than cleaning him as needed. It only took a few weeks, and he hasn't had an accident since. She will probably just decide to do it on her own one day. Good luck!

Hi. My son had the same problem and was a little closer to four before he started to go poo poo in the potty. Pee pee was fine - no problem. Poo poo - another issue. Everyone used to tell me he'd go when he was ready and it would upset me, because I wanted him to go RIGHT NOW! But that really is the way it happened. One other thing did help though...I see that your daughter, like my son, is an only child. Since you are a full-time working mama like me, I imagine your little one goes to school - like my child. Here's what did it for us... I talked to my son's teacher and let her know about my problem. She was completely unaware... She began encouraging him to go at school AND (now I believe this is what did it) she sent him to the bathroom with children in his class who were regular poopers. I think my son just needed another little one to give him an example. I tried everything else too - rewards, toys, punishment, EVERYTHING! After a week of my son's teacher's help, we were pooping in the potty with NO accidents again.

Have you tried a reward system. Make a star chart that goes in the bathroom adn when she goes number one give her a small star to put on the chart and when she goes number 2 she gets a bigger star.

don't stress about; she is still only a toddler. I wouldn't punish her for it either b/c she is still training. My suggestion would be to not do the pullups; but do underwear only - the plastic kind. It will be more mess; however, worth it in the long run. Every child is different and some take longer than others. Just relax and your child will be more relaxed about it. Good luck!!

In Feb. it will be a full year that I have been struggling with this same issue. I have literally read EVERYTHING about it and, unfortunately, have found no "cures". As Dr. Phil said, it's all a matter of "finding their currency" which is easy said but NOT easy done. We have literally tried everything we can possibly think of, including miralax and gentle enema type things (which did NOTHING at all). So we are just waiting. I like people who say to just keep them in underwear. Also much easier said than done. It's pretty nasty to clean up even in a pull up let alone underwear. And I've heard of having them clean it up, which I have tried too but that was futile imo. Anyways, I hope you find something that works for you and if you happen to find a magical answer please please please let me know. Oh, there is a new book out that my son really loves called "it hurts when i poop". May check that out...good luck!

Patty W. offers a good answer. My son had a painful poop once and was scared to go on the toilet for awhile. Thankfully he had the sense to ask for a diaper instead of going in his pants. The best thing is to take the tension out of the issue... the more tension, the more uncomfortable pooping will be which will just reinforce the desire NOT to poop. We offered special treats for going on the potty, and clapped and danced praise when he went on the potty. It took awhile but in the end he figured out that the toilet is way better than the diaper.