I Need Help with My 2 Year Old!!!!

From now one he can have bottles of water, as much as he wants, ALL milk is in cups, (maybe buy some nice new cups!) Can you cut down on his nap that will make him fall asleep earlier. If you give him milk after he brushes his teeth you will be so sorry for the bad teeth you'will create!! Let him scream let him cry himself to sleep but dont let him rot his teeth. Tell hubby the three of you are going to have a rough two weeks of crying and yelling but then it will be SO MUCH BETTER! :)

Letting him cry forever to show him he won't get what he wants may eventually work, but maybe not if he just feels like crying, especially since you have given in and he knows it may work if he's REALLY loud for a REALLY long time. You should discipline the tantrum so he learns he's not allowed to do that anymore. I don't think it's meaner to discipline tantrums than it is to let kids cry so long.
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com.

What's the worst thing that happens if he has a bottle before bed? Nothing. In my mind, this is a fight that's not worth having. Both of my kids gave up their "babas" willingly right before age 3.

I feel like some women support nursing until their kids can tie their own shoes, but insist that bottles have to be thrown away the day the baby turns one. What's the difference? If it helps settle him down so you both can get some sleep, I doubt he'll still need it when he's in high school.

OK, I'm going to disagree with all current responders. My daughter had a bottle at bedtime and naptime until she turned three. Before her birthday, we talked about how three year-olds didn't need bottles, she agreed, end of story. She has perfectly straight and healthy teeth, she and the rest of us slept peacefully. I think we need to throw out all the "deadlines" that moms and babies are supposed to abide by. Who made these rules anyway??

Throw them away. Then you won't be tempted to give in. Tell him that tomorrow is his last bottle. Then the bottle fairy is taking them to new babies that need them (if that works for you)... then after he goes to bed, bag them up in a garbage bag and THROW THEM OUT into the OUTSIDE garbage... and put a bag of bathroom trash on top of it.
If he is thirsty, give him water in a sippy cup. That's it. He shouldn't have milk in his mouth before he goes to sleep (without brushing his teeth after) or he can ruin his teeth.

Then, start moving his bedtime up in 15 minute increments. He may not be able to go to sleep very well b/c he is over tired. My kids went to bed at 7:30 when they were 2.

Now let me get the rest of this correct.... you get him in bed, then he gets up and comes to YOUR bed and screams and cries until you give him his "milk"? And this lasts until around 11 or 12 ??

So... does he fall asleep and then wakes and comes and asks for his milk? Or does he just not go to sleep and gets up and asks for milk and if you don't give in then screams until you do?

That whole scene is not really clear to me...
It sounds like you just need to accept that he will have his milk and then give it to him...
OR,
you could tell him "no" and put him back to bed. Over and over and over and over again.... and then the next night: repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat. Until he understands that he isn't going to get it.
I'd recommend you start on Friday night, when you'll have a couple of nights to get through the worst of it.

Try to be patient with him... he did not create this situation. He only asked for his milk, initially, and has not been given any limitation on it to this point, or so it sounds. And when you tried to limit it, he screamed and you gave in, reinforcing that screaming gets him what he wants. So, unfortunately, it may be a little more stressful to get through this than it is for other families. Just know that if you decide to end this situation, that you HAVE TO END IT. You CANNOT give up and give in half way through the process. Decide now, and stick with what you decide.

I don't know if this will help at your son's age or not, but I've just recently discovered how well "setting the timer" works. My son LOVES to set the timer on the microwave indicating how long it is until bedtime. He reminds me that we need to set the timer every night. As soon as it goes off, he gets excited that is time to turn it off and he anounces that it's time to go to bed.

Maybe you could incorporate this strategy somehow. Good luck!! : )

Is he truly hungry? If he is you need to feed him. Maybe a snack later in the evening and then tooth brushing before bedtime. I think a lot of the concerns about a bottle (or nursing to sleep) are dental concerns. If he is not hungry, then each time he came into the room I would simply and quietly walk him back to his room and tuck him back in. I would not shut him into his room. I want my son to know if he has an emergency or is sick then he should come in or call me. I strongly disagree with the poster who feels you should discipline him for crying. If he is sad or angry or frustrated those are his feelings and he has every right to them.

When we broke our son from the bottle, we began on a Friday afternoon (nap time) during a 3-day weekend. I threw all the bottles away so that I wouldn't be tempted and just started the new routine as if it was the only routine we had ever had. It went suprisingly well. In part, I think, because I just approached it in a very positive way.

The long weekend gave me time in case there were any tantrums. That way my husband could take a nap before going back to work.

You are the Mommy, DON'T give him bottles anymore. At 2 years old he is old enough to understand that when you tell him he won't be getting any more bottles at bedtime, that's what's going to happen. It's going to suck, and I know it's so hard to see and hear your little one's upset, but it needs to be done. Once you do it you can't give in, you and your husband need to be on the same page about this before you do it.

You need to start a whole new bedtime routine, after dinner some play time, bath, brush his teeth, quiet play in his room with you or Daddy while getting jammies on, have him get in bed and tell him that you are going to read him the book of his choice and once it is over it's bedtime, half way through- "son, the book is almost over don't forget after we're done it's bedtime", once you are done say again now your book is over and it's bedtime. He will start to get it, you just need to keep a routine so he knows what to expect.

i know others that use the bottle sometimes. the oprob is you give in. you may have to let him scream for 4 hrs. the next night it may be 6 hrs. i hear it can take 3 days to 2 weeks. get ear plugs. if you know he's safe, give him a lovely. explain you won't come back for "an hr" or whtaever it is and just pat him on the head. heart breaking but know that it will change. and if he's 2 he prob needs an earlier bedtime. our 2 yr olds went to bed at 6:30-7 and up around 7-8. he could be over tired. have your husband sleep downstairs or in the basement for that time (if you don't work). good luck. you can do it. you aren't hurting you, know the crying is more challenge to manipulate you into giving in. and its normal at this age.

and you know, you could have a special ceremony and have HIM throw the bottles away and have him pick out a treat/toy for doing it : )

This is going to suck for a few nights, I'm not going to lie. You HAVE to bite the bullet and be tough mom. THROW the bottles away!!!! Don't give in! And do not let him out of bed. If he gets out, turn him back around and put him right back in bed. Good luck!

what is his favorite big boy thing to eat? pizza for example? we told our daughter that big girls eat pizza, L. is a big girl....bottles (or in our case it was the paci) are for babies, L. is not a baby. after a few days she caught on and put the paci down and didnt want it anymore. maybe you should put him to bed earlier - it could be he is so tired and the bottle makes him feel better, it comforts him because he is over tired? our daughter goes to bed a 7 and she sleeps till 7.

Please don't be embarrassed! This goes on more than you know and there's no reason to feel like you are the only one. Each child is different and progress/mature at their own pace. My 2nd one was addicted to his bottle, even with water in it until 2 1/2. We tried everything suggested like slowly cutting the nipple etc and nothing worked. We finally tried letting him cry it out and it killed me. He is so stubborn that he would scream for hours and I couldn't stand it so after a few days we decided we would try the Sleep Nanny method for getting your child to go to sleep by themselves. It involves slowly moving yourself out of the room until they learn to put themselves to sleep without the bottle. It takes awhile and we didn't really do it by the book since we found that once we left the door open and he knew we were close he was ok. From my own experience, I do suggest that you decide what you are going to do to solve this asap and then firmly do it because one of the biggest gifts we can give our children is to teach them to be able to self-soothe themselves to sleep and mine still isn't the easiest one to get to sleep out of my 3 and i regret that we waited so long for his sake. Also try to give him another soothing thing for his bed like a lovey or stuffed animal, blanket etc that he can use to reassure himself and soothe him. Personally, I think if they are screaming they need something from us and as parents we should help them the best we can. Hang in there - this will seem like it lasts forever, but in reality will pass quickly. Good luck!!

my daughter is 2 1/2 after our move across the world i feel her sorry (she has no family here and misses them A LOT) so my daughter still takes the bottle and im not embarresed about it because shes getting a good dose of her calcium. i dont see how we should be in such a rush with potty training and weining of the bottle, because every child is different and only a kid once. I do think that whenever changing a routine be consistent for atleast 3days to a week then the child accepts their new routine as part of life. maybe hes not tired by8. try cutting his afternoon nap earlier or shorter?

My son is 30 months so I know about 2 year old boys...
He has never taken a bottle to bed - he takes a sippy cup of water.
We have a bedtime routine - watch 1 tv show, read a book, jammies, rocking, and then bed - every night.
If he comes out of the bedroom, for ANY reason, or yells too much, we turn the hall light off (which he hates).
If he comes out again, for any reason, we shut his bedroom door.
If he keeps coming out, or having fits at the door, we pick him up silently and put him back in his bed. No exceptions.
There were several nights in a row where this process of getting put back in bed took an hour or two before he gave up and then, every couple of months, he starts trying to fight it again.

Dont be embarrassed about anything. No parent is perfect and all kids are different. Just because my son goes to bed at 8 pretty easily does not mean I am a better parent, it just means that my kid goes to bed. If he WANTED to stay up all night, he would - regardless of what I did.

However, if you dont want him to have a bottle, take him to the store, let him pick out a sippy cup, and tell him that from now on he is only going to get to drink out of his special sippy cup at night. No matter how much he cries, dont give him a bottle. Sympathize with him, acknowledge its sad to not have things you want, but point out the good points of the sippy cup.

Good luck!

Letting a child scream or cry for hours just teaches them that this is an UNSAFE world and they cannot count on their caregivers to protect them and come to their rescue when they cry out. I think we already have way too many kids these days with ATTACHMENT DISORDERS. We need to rethink this MYTHOLOGY that kids need to learn to "soothe themselves back to sleep."

Read the book "The Family Bed." In some of my other replies, I tell the long story of how I learned about the book from a talk-show 25 years ago and followed the advice given.

Below is that story copied:
In 1985 or so, I watched a TV interview with the author of the book, THE FAMILY BED. He was in favor of allowing children to sleep with parents. He said that throughout the ages, children have always slept with parents. Things changed around the late 1940's in the USA, when ideas about family and wealth changed after WWII. Americans showed their new found middle-class wealth by having a house with a separate "nursery" just like the rich people. Only thing they forgot is - - rich people always had nannies and wet nurses sleeping in the nurseries WITH the children. Middle-class folk just stuck their babies all alone in the "nursery" - - an empty, scary room with NO nannies. Dr. Spock in the 60's came along and said let them cry it out. The author of THE FAMILY BED said it is not a natural thing for a human being to sleep ALONE. Our skin is our biggest organ and the sense of touch sends electrical nerve impulses to all internal organs. Newborns who are touched gain weight faster, and thrive. Romanian orphans left alone to cry in cribs with ZERO-touch suffered learning retardation and ATTACHMENT DISORDER. We ALL crave skin-to-skin contact. The thing about this TV show 25 years ago that sticks with me is this: A woman from the audience stood up and said, "Well, I do NOT believe children should be allowed in their parent's bed. When our son used to wake up in the night and cry, we would take him a glass of water and tell him that the water would wash away all the bad dreams!" The author just listened, then asked the women this question, "If you went to your husband and said, 'Honey, I just need a hug right now' and your husband said, 'Here's a glass of water,' how would you feel?" After watching that TV show, I went on to have 4 kids and followed the author's rule of thumb when it comes to babies and toddlers wanting to sleep with you: "NEVER OFFER, NEVER REFUSE." WARNING: Do not attempt co-sleeping if one or both parents consume alcohol or use drugs.