My son turned 3 this September. He was potty trained 3 days before his 3rd birthday. Before he was potty trained, we locked him in his room at night. Yep, locked him in there. :) Was even suggested by his ped.
Anyways, now that he is potty trained I leave his door completely open in case he has to potty. Annnd, every night since then hes been sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night. I didnt have a huge problem with it to begin with, but now its getting old! Our 5 month old baby still sleeps in our room (in her own bed) and I have no desire whatsoever to get her out of our room anytime soon. :) She usually wakes at 5am, I feed her and then we sleep together for about an hour. This is difficut to do when you already have 3 people in your bed!!
Before I started leaving his door open at night, he had absolutely no problems going to sleep and staying in there at night, he would NEVER wake up!
I have tried putting him back in bed when he sneaks in, but he will throw a fit and wake the whole house up. I have talked to him about it when hes in a better state, and he says dinosaurs are going to eat him, hes scared,, and it makes him sad. Dammmmmit!! How am I supposed to say no to that????
I told him dinosaurs are no longer living. He has a nightlight, I leave his door wide open and the bathroom light on. I have tried locking him in there again, but he screams like hes terrified.
Part of me is like, hes only going to be little for a short time and I should just let him, but the other part me of me wants my bed back and wants him to be independent and be able to sleep on his own,
Suggestions????? Please??
I started doing this around the same age - I remember because it was right when my family moved into a new house. I was afraid of vampires.
What my parents did (this I don't remember) was to put a pallet on the floor at the foot of their bed. They told me whenever I was scared I could come downstairs and sleep on the pallet in their room. Apparently it barely got used before I stopped trying to get into bed with them.
Lock your door, when you hear him jiggle the door knob you meet him at the pass. That way if he throws a fit you are out in the hall where he has less chance of waking everyone.
Defuse the threats. Right now his threat is I will wake everyone up unless you let me have my way. The only way he can really pull that off is if you don't notice until he is in the room with you.
It sounds like he is feeling left out since your baby is sleeping in the room. Can you set up a sleeping bag on the floor somewhere so he can sleep on it? I would think he would get tired of being on the floor and go to his own bed.
Have him look for scary monsters or dinosaurs in the closet, under the bed and all dark corners with a flashlight before bed. He can do it with you and/or his dad. This way he will see there is nothing there and not feel scared.
I still sometimes sleep in my daughter’s bed, she is 5. She just likes to cuddle next to mom and feel secure. I don't mind since my hubby snores really loudly and I figure it won’t be like this forever.
Co-sleeping just doesn't work for me either, I need my space. My son was also a screamer when it came to going to his own bed. We tried locking OUR door at night, at it just caused hysterics, crying and banging. I felt horrible and vowed not to do that again. A pallet didn't work either, because he still tried getting into our bed. I disrupted everyone's sleep each night. One thing that helped was a lava lamp. It's brighter than a night light, but not so bright that it disrupts sleep. We started on a Monday taking him back to bed and laying with him. This wasn't ideal. I couldn't sleep and I had to do the rolling to the ground and crawling out business to "escape" and go back to my bed. We did that for a week, maybe two. Then Friday, we just started bringing him back to bed over and over. We told him he could have a few cuddles (2 minutes or less) and then he needed to sleep in his own bed. Yes there was screaming, crying and begging. We were never harsh or upset (which was admittedly very difficult some nights), just matter of fact about the fact that he needed to sleep in his bed. After a few days of that he may have asked to stay, but he usually went to his bed willingly as long as I walked him back. Then it tapered off to where he wasn't waking up any more.
There are several things that you can try.
Ask him what would make him feel safe from the dinosaurs... perhaps a stuffed dinosaur friend or dragon or something that is specifically his friend who could protect him? When my daughter was afraid of monsters under her bed, she picked out a stuffed monster who could live under there, and not let any other monsters in. When my son was plagued by nightmares, I took a little stuffed frog of his and told him that his name was ribbit, and that he is a good dream frog. Any time he had nightmares, ribbit would enter his dreams and help him change them to good dreams. He started bounding ribbit on his head before going to sleep "to put good dreams in there." He's 10 now, and still sleeps with ribbit sometimes. Figure out some way of making him feel safe in his room. If it's really a problem, you might want to put a small mattress or something in your room on the floor for him to crawl into until he's done with this phase, if having him in your bed is really a problem.
At the same time, you might want to consider starting a sticker chart -- a sticker for every day he stays in his bedroom until X time. When he has done it some small number of times, he gets a small reward. Then more times for a larger reward, and maybe 2 weeks gets something he really wants, or however much positive reinforcement you think he needs.
My dh did the same thing at that age too, and his parents made a pallet on the floor also. He was told if you wan to sleep in here you have to sleep on the floor. It took him 3 days of sleeping on the hard floor to relize his bed was much more comfortable. Our dd comes in our room now after 6am somtimes she falls back to sleep other times she fidgets around till 7am. She is only 2 and does not understand the sleep on the floor thing just yet, but its going to happen. gl
My daughter has recently told me she doesn't want to sleep by herself. And I get it -- she's alone, all by herself, in her room and she's a very social person. But, I can't sleep with my kids -- they wiggle ... constantly. So we talked about it and I told her that mommy needs her sleep, and daddy needs his sleep, and big brother needs his sleep, and so do you. So we all sleep in our own beds, and mommy and daddy's bed is big enough that we each have our own space to sleep.
Right now he's holding you hostage to the idea that he will wake up everyone if you deny him. And you are contributing with the idea of "he's only little for a short time and I should just let him". But now, while he's little, is when you get to train him and set boundaries that are appropriate. Snuggle him, make sure he knows he's loved all through the day, but at night he needs to sleep in his own bed for the sanity of everyone.
Good luck to you!
(and for the dinosaurs -- with our daughter it was mean ghosts -- I just told her that I got a new thing that makes it so mean ghosts can't come into our house, and then when they figured out that they couldn't come in they just gave up and went to their own house. You could do something similar with the dinosaurs)
I wonder if all the lights are waking him up and causing shadows or something? i know my kids have trouble sleeping with any lights on....
maybe no night light no bathroom light may help?
LOVE the "monster repellant" idea too! lol
is he still napping? maybe he's getting too much sleep during the day and he's not very tired at night, try cutting out the nap.
My sons both had the nighttime fears show up around three too. I would spray their door with "monster repellent" and it seemed to do the trick. Good luck!
I feel you're going to have to get up, be consistent, and take him back to bed. Until he stops. You can try putting up a child gate at his or your door.
But you'll be up until he stops. That's just part of the whole picture. If he throws a fit, too bad. That's when you can explain there are no dinosaurs. It will slow down. But you have to be strong. Hubby can take his turn too. You let him have his way and you're asking for trouble. You'll be teaching him that he'll get his way if he throws enough fit. If he's getting the better of you at 3, think what it'll be as he gets older. He'll be walking all over you. Break the chain now.
I have heard about buying a digital alarm clock and telling him only after the clock turns to a 7 or whatever number you agree on is when he can come into your room.
And try the dinosaur repellent. That might help too.
I just told my son tonight - and this is the first time I needed to - that monsters aren't allowed in the house. It's a house rule. Mommy said so, and I will not let them in. Tell him you and Daddy have told the dinosaurs that they are absolutely not allowed to come in, they'll be (grounded, spanked, whatever serious believeable consequence of your choice) if they try to.
Then, since you've set the ground rules for the dinosaurs, you can set the rules for your kiddo, whatever works for you. Tell him that because he won't sleep on your floor, and that he won't stay in his bed, then you'll have to keep him in his room by locking the door again. Put a little potty in the corner of his room if he needs it.
I like the lava lamp idea, too, btw. :)
We made a bed on the floor for my daughter(sleeping bag/mat). She was welcomed to come to our room anytime she wanted. Eventually we had to make the rule that she could only stay if she didn't wake us up. Then when we had the energy and patience and our little baby was sleeping through the night, we took the timeto adjust her to her room. They had some cool night lights at IKEA, we bought a big flower one to hang on her wall. It helped.
Good luck
