I Need Advice for Sleeping Habits

I always proped my girls up on their boppy. It gave them a hug while sleeping and it worked well when they had colds... before that the dr said to put something under their mattress to lift it, but I found they just rolled and continued to wake up throughout the night. The boppy kept them in place and smelled like us. Perhaps you could sleep or wear soemthing around you could put her down with that would be comforting to her & make you feel close. I also wrapped them so we didnt actually touch unless I kissed them. That way when I pulled away it wasn't a shock from the body heat being taken away.
Good luck.. I know this is heartbreaking and frustrating when you're tired.

Let her sleep in the car seat in the crib and see if that helps her to adjust back into sleeping in the crib. She also may be liking the way the carseat is close making her feel "cozy" think of a way you can do this in her bed.

Good Luck!!
A.

I hate to say it, but the only way you'll get her to sleep in her crib is to keep putting her in there.
There's no secret to it. You'll have to sleep train her in the crib. So whatever method you choose, whether it's CIO, Ferber or some other hybrid of them, you just have to keep at it with repetition.

Naps and nighttime should be in there. And at this point, the more often that you break down and take her into bed with you, the more you're prolonging it.

You have to do what you're comfortable with, in terms of letting her cry. Just make sure that everytime you put her back down, it's in the crib. I would also suggest establishing a routine along with it. That way she'll associate her crib with the routine and bedtime/naptime. It'll take a bit, but she'll get the hang of it as long as you're consistent.

M.-
Two of my three children were car seat sleepers too. They loved it and it worked for me too b/c they slept great there, but obviously there comes a time when you need to make the transition.

It is hard to hear her cry, but you do have to let her. It's really the only way to get her to transition. She has a habit of sleeping there and this is a change. I agree with the other moms. Go in there about every 20 minutes and rub her back, but DON'T pick her up. Eventually she will fall asleep and she will learn to soothe herself. I know it's not fun, but after a few nights she should get the hang of it and your life will be a lot easier.

Carseats can be dangerous. A baby can tip it over, or have issues with the straps. I wouldn't let a baby sleep in the carseat unless you watched them the entire time without falling asleep yourself. I agree with the other moms, have her sleep in her crib. It won't take long for her to get the message. She may cry now, but she won't remember it! Good luck.

Hi M.,
I have a 17 month old. It seems like every 3-4 months you are doing a little sleep training. Since you let her cry it out last night, don't waste the one night. It is amazing. It usually only takes 2-3 nights. It is so hard emotionally, but it works and your little one does sleep better along with everyone else in the home. So do it again tonight. She will not cry as long. And maybe tomorrow night, she will not cry at all. Blessing, D.

Dear M.,
As long as your daughter is safe and comfortable, does it matter that her current favored sleeping spot is not a crib? I would also say not to be afraid to follow the "fiber of your being." :-) I respectfully disagree with the theory that babies should be left to "cry it out." They may be safe and warm and have nothing physically wrong with them, but crying also signifies an emotional need. Babies who can count on being comforted will develop a healthy sense of security that will follow them into toddlerhood and beyond. It is a lot of work, especially for working parents, but for me and my family it has really been worth it. Plus, the hard times don't last forever--it always helped me to remind myself of that when I was up in the middle of the night with my little one: a change will always come, even if it takes some time. Best of luck to you!

I had this happened to me so . I put the car seat in the crib and put the side up and after awaile my granddaughter got over it and then started sleeping again in the crib.

I, along with every parent here, could probably tell you that our babies have slept better in bed with us, or in their car seats. Many parents co-sleep, but there are dangers (rolling over on your baby, baby getting smothered in blankets, pillows, a soft mattress, etc...), so I'd encourage you to look into a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of your bed.

I need to encourage you (and other moms) NOT TO LET YOUR BABY SLEEP IN THEIR CAR SEAT!!! Naps, while they are being closely watched by you, should be fine, but NEVER let your baby sleep in a car seat! I was distressed to hear this, especially from one poster who suggested putting the car seat in the crib! DO NOT DO THIS! It usually says on the car seat itself, or in the manual, that children should not be left unattended in their car seats! So many things can happen (the car seat can roll forward, especially on soft surfaces like beds, the buckles may not be fastened and they can strangle).

Our cousin's baby was killed at their day care, and this is why I am urging you not to let your beautiful baby sleep in the car seat! At 11 months old, the day care provider was letting their little son take naps in his car seat because she was watching two kids and only had one crib for nap time. The provider thought she had securely fastened the 5-point harness, but unfortunately did not click in one side of the bottom belt...their son slid down during his nap and was strangled to death by the chest clip at his throat. The coroner said that when he slid down, it immediately put pressure on his throat, so he was unable to cry to alert the sitter that something was wrong. It was the worst day of our cousins lives. Please, please do not let your baby sleep in their car seat!!!

I know that hearing her cry is a horrible feeling, but she will grow accustomed to her old schedule in a week or two, and will be totally worth it. The best of luck to you.

M.

We too let our daughter sleep in the carseat! She spit up terribly ALL THE TIME and it seemed the only way to keep her more upright...and she loved it. I think we transitioned her to her crib at like 4 months. First we put her in the carseat in the crib. I don' remember having many problems. I do, however, remember letting my older one cry it out when she didn't want to go to bed. I absolutely know what torture it is listening to them cry. But it WILL get easier...she will start crying for less and less. The key is being 100% consistent. That will make the process so much quicker. I agree with the other mom, if you started last night - keep going with it. I remember trying to play mind games with myself to make listening to that crying easier (if that is possible). I would tell myself at least she is safe. Since babies can't talk crying is their way of communicating...she's not in pain or anything...she's just telling me she really REALLY doesn't want to go to sleep. I would also listen to my ipod so I couldn't hear her but watch the lights on the sound monitor so I would know what was going on...getting that spark of hope as the lights would eventually go down and down.
It took a few nights - the first was over an hour of crying, then an hour the next, then 45 min the next and so on. I'm so glad I did it though.
I would also say go with your gut...with one of my kids it helped her when I would go in and calm her down but with the other it revved her back up to defcon 5! You know your child better than any book so do what feels right. But whatever you do, be consistent 100%. That really is the key to any method working.
Good luck...when she's crying just keep repeating...she's safe, she's healthy, this will pass...
sweet dreams :)

Hi M.,
I agree with your other posters. You will have to be consistent and you may go a week without a lot of sleep but it WILL be worth it in the end.
I also wanted to pass some info along to you as well. When my daughter was an infant and had a cold, we put an infant wedge under her mattress to help her sleep better and it really works. The link is:
http://www.target.com/Folding-Crib-Wedge/dp/B0009JB38U/sr...
I hope this helps and good luck. We've all been there at one time or another.

Yes, the same thing happened to us. It seemed the colds went on and on. It was a tough transition. Also hard to transition from swaddling. Would you consider tummy sleeping. I know this is a big no no. But my little one wasn't high risk for SIDS (nonsmoking, breastfed, etc) You also could get an angel monitor if you are concerned. Also make sure her schedule is good and she is well rested before making the change. Hang in there. My one year old is now sleeping pretty well!

Call Dr Weissbluth ###-###-####) I believe he is not a fan of sleep anywhere but in the crib. Tell him M. Graham Norwich sent you. He is AMAZING!!! Your child will thank you -- and you will thank me :))

Hi M.,

WOW, first let me say thank you. I thought I was the only one whose daughter loved sleeping in her car seat. It did take some time getting her back in her crib. I started doing it at nap time for a few days and then moved onto bedtime. I know it is so hard. She would cry for a long time. But eventually it did work and now she has outgrown that car seat and loves sleeping in her bed. Good luck to you.

Don't feel bad M.. Yo'e not alone. About 90% of moms and dads go thru this. I use to get my kids to nap until they were 4 by taking them for a quick ride in the car. The fresh air is a drug to them; knocks them out. Except for bitter cold, they played outside in the yard for half an hour in the a.m. and half in the p.m. They were always exhausted. I had a strugle to keep the awake in the later afternoons till supper. Then I would give them a warm bath and they'de go to bed for the night by 7-7:30p.m. until 6:30-7a.m. Good luck mom. Just get her out of your bed. You can take it for 1 or 2 nights and she'll learn her crying won't get her anywhere. You have to get strong now because both of you will become more dependant on eachothers needs as time goes by.

OH my gosh I had all sorts of things like that happen. One actually slept really well in the swing. Unfortunately the only biggest problems they seem to have is that we don't get any sleep and perhaps some doctor some day will point to some degenerative spine deficiency and blame it on mom or not. Or they will need intense therapy because they remember being buckled into something against their will after a month of hypnosis. Probably they like it because they are enclosed warm and snuggly like when inside mom. Don't know but perhaps a reread of the book and you can transfer the ideas you have. I used to just wrap in snugglies and hope for the best. They don't fit in a car seat forever if that helps! Sorry not much here but hope you giggled.
S.

Hi M.,

You don't say how long your daughter cried for when you let her cry it out...

Our daughter slept in her car seat and with us for a long time, but she was much younger than your daughter. However, I would say that whatever gets all of you the most sleep is what you should do. Eventually, she'll sleep in her crib on her own.

Best,
R.

I have some good friends that used to put their son's carseat in the crib :D
I think that eventually he just outgrew the carseat, or the habit of sleeping in it.
Good luck!

I agree with Melissa that you're going to have to be consistent and keep putting her in her crib at naps and at bedtime no matter how difficult it is.

How much time do you spend in her room now? Try to spend more time in her room every day playing, rocking, singing, etc. so that she gets used to it and it feels safe and familiar to her. Make sure you do her bedtime routine in her room as well rather than doing it in your room or somewhere else in the house.

I read Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Gentle guide to helping your child fall asleep and stay asleep. The Sleep Lady Shuffle didn't work for me, (and I ended up doing the Ferber method) but it might work for you. The book does a good job of explaining how to establish a bedtime routine and how to avoid and eliminate "sleep crutches" or "negative sleep associations". I think she does go over unconventional sleep places like swings, car seats, etc, but I didn't look into it b/c I didn't have that problem. When I get home, I'll try to remember to check for you...

My son used to love to sleep in his carseat too. My SIL recommended putting the carseat in his crib for a few nights, to get him used to his crib/room. Then move him to the crib at naptimes to see how that goes, slowly transitioning him to the crib fully.

Hi M.,
I put my daughter in a car seat because of a cold when she was 1-1/2, and ever since that was the only way for her to fall a sleep. She would sleep in bed for naps, but at night she falls asleep in the car seat. She is now 2y4m and she still likes to fall a sleep in it. I recently got her the Fisher Price Infant to Toddler rocker and put her in there instead of the car seat because I'm pregnant and will need the car seat for the new baby....
Not a big deal - she falls asleep in it, then I move her into her crib and she sleeps all night in it....

Dear M.,
If your child is happy sleeping in her car seat, have tried placing it right in her crib? Putting her in your bed is not a good idea. You also did not mention if she sleeps in a separate room or is she still sleeping in your room. I knew of two moms who let their babies sleep in bed with them, they both had problems (for years) getting their child to sleep alone. Example, staying up late every night screaming for company in their room. You might also get some tips from your pediatrician. Good luck.

I know your pain. My 9 month old boy hardly naps. He is a great sleeper at night, but is very inconsistent with naps. He will fall asleep in the car at any time any day. I just went for my son's 9 month appointment yesterday and the Dr. and I had a long discussion about establishing good sleep habits. As a a mother of two, the Dr. did the same thing that you and I did with our first and she said it only made things more difficult when the time came to really force the good sleep habits. As she quoted the Dr. she interned with "no child has ever died from crying." When I thought about this, she had a pretty good point. When we feel bad for them and go in a pick them up, it only makes it harder for them to find ways to comfort themselves later. When I got home yesterday, I decided to really stick to my guns, and let him cry it out at his nap - he cried for 50 minutes - I watched him on the monitor the entire time and every bone in body wanted to go in and pick him up - but he eventually feel asleep on his own. At bed time that night it was only 10 minutes of crying. And tonight, there was no crying! He went to bed all on his own. As a full time working teacher as well, I thought it was easier and less painful for everyone involved to rock him into a solid sleep every night (sometime this took 40 minutes) but I realized a lot of what I was doing was out of guilt and it wasn't really helping my little guy. If you decide to let her cry it out, stick to your guns, but brace yourself, I think it is more painful for us then it is for them. I didn't think it would work this fast but it did. Good luck!

My son slept in his carseat in his crib for the first 3-4 months of his life. The doc said it was no big deal. I did not want him with us, so I laid it in the cradle position and he snuggled in every night. It will not hurt them. Eventually they grow out of it.