Cut yourself some slack – I think you may be expecting way too much from yourself, and because you are trying to be superwoman, your husband expects way too much from you, too.
You are not yourself yet, and will not be for a few weeks yet if you have "major" incisions. A great deal of your physical energy will be devoted to healing your body, and there will be little left over for mommying or wifing, which includes housekeeping and cooking. And mentally, you will be extremely tired and easily stressed, as well.
This took me quite by surprise when I had a fairly major abdominal procedure in my early 30's. I figured I'd be back on track after 3-4 weeks, because I had been strong and athletic. It was more like 10 weeks before I felt normal again. My first three weeks, I could find energy for very little beyond sleep. And pain pills took me down another notch energetically, but I couldn't do without them for the first three weeks.
Sit down with hubby and tell him you are not bouncing back as quickly as you had hoped, and that you expect him to take up the slack for a few more weeks so that you can heal as quickly as possible. Give him specific jobs to do, because men just can't generally look at the big picture and understand what needs to be done.
He's not a mind-reader, and can not hear what you don't say, so tell him what you need, and what's on your mind. This will help keep silent, resentful evenings from becoming a regular event in your house. Be a squeaky wheel – those are the ones that get attention. It's a much better alternative than silent anger, and much easier on your marriage.
When you're getting back to your normal activity levels, he'll be able to appreciate more how much you take care of every day. And I guarantee that if HE were the one with incisions and stitches, you'd be taking care of him hand and foot for weeks. But he apparently has not had that experience yet, so he can't relate, except to the extent that you tell him.
Congratulations on your successful surgery. Now I wish you a chance for successful healing.