I Have a Biter

Oh you poor thing! I have a good friend who has a son who went through that stage and he would chomp on anyone for no reason. Anytime our boys played together I had to make certain my son was wearing a sweater (to minimize the damage when her son started chomping) and one of us had to be within arm's reach to snatch one of them away when he went into "bite mode." None of the "tried and true" methods helped curb his biting and my poor friend received ALL of the advice about biting back, time outs, soap in the mouth, etc. Her little boy was just a biter and it didn't matter what she did. She was always so embarassed and down on herself, but she really was a very good mother. There was nothing that she was doing or not doing (as far as I could see) that explained why her little boy was a biter. I remember her telling me about a magazine article that helped her SO very much with this problem. I'll send her a quick email to see if she can forward a copy to me and will send you a private message if I'm able to get it.

Hang in there. No matter what happens or how long it takes, this is just a stage. Remind yourself that your daughter's not bad. And you're NOT a bad mother. Some kids are just chompers. She'll grow out of this stage.

K.:

Oh how this brings back memories of my mother telling stories about myself. I use to be the same way, she would say. She told me that she use to use something called "The Bite Treatment" when I would bite. It was recomended to her by a doctor, long, long ago(I am 30). This is how it goes: When child bites you place them beside you on a stable location. On the out side of the childs mouth, place your thumb and your middle finger (depends on how long your fingers are) between the jaw hinges, behind the molars Dont' squeese just put only enough pressure to hold your hand there. When the child tries to bite down it will hurt just a bit due to the finger placement, the harder they bite down the more it hurts. It only hurts when the child tries to bite down. I remember exactly how it felt. It didn't hurt unless I bit down. After about 2 treatments I stopped. The idea behind this is when the child reactions cause them to bite, the sensation of the bite treatments comes to mind and prevents them from going through with the action. To clarify age, I was an older biter. If this is not something you feel comfortable in trying, I can understand it sounds worse than it really is. Good luck!

I was a little mean to my kid when it came to biting and the pacifier. My daughter was almost 2 years old with that thing in her mouth and she was trying to talk to me. I couldn't understand her so I looked at her took the pacifier out of her mouth said you don't need this and threw it away. That worked for us. Now biting, my daughter has only bit me once. I bit her back. Not hard but enough to get her to understand that biting doesn't feel good and how would she like it if someone bit her? These suggestions sound harsh but they worked wonders for her.

Dear K. B, I understand your frustration. My biter is now 11 years old, but I remember how hard, bad, embarasing, and all that stuff it was.I tried EVERYTHING I could think of and what all the books said. Nothing worked, until I decided to BITE BACK!! I'm not talking break skin or anything like that , but when my child felt even just a little bit of what he was dishing out, after a few times he quit. I know to some it might seem a little harsh, but I guess you have to be there to know the pain of all that comes with a biter. As far as the pacifier, just throw it away, she might cry for a day or so, but that is about the only way to do it.I hope that maybe this might help some. God Bless

Hi, my cousin sprayed chloroseptic (sp) spray in her daughters mouth and it only took a couple times of that to stop the biting. I hope this helps.
C.

I just happened to read this article (below) on biting before I saw your post. I don't have a biter, but I do have a 20-month-old tantrum thrower who I recall was really difficult to reason with from 12-18 months...luckily as she understands more and becomes more verbal, she is getting easier to communicate with and we see a decrease in that behavior and her frustration level and I hope you do too. You may already be doing so, but I think the KEY is that everyone (you, hubby, daycare providers, grandparents, etc.) who may witness and intervene when she bites be saying the exact same phrases and that the consequences be exactly the same. The repetition of the words and actions will sink in eventually.

One other thing...all of the articles I have read on biting/hitting say that you should NEVER bite or hit your child back to "show them how it feels" so to speak...I don't think that is good advice. Good luck--I feel for you!
D.

Article below, pasted from:
http://www.more4kids.info/484/tips-to-help-stop-your-chil...

July 22, 2007
Tips to Help Stop Your Child From Biting

If your child bites it can be a parenting nightmare, especially if your toddler bites another child. The first time your child bites someone you probably were appalled that they could do such a thing! The good news is that some children go through this phase and most of the time it is a temporary problem. Believe is to not, biting is a common problem found in many preschools and daycares.

But first of all, it is import to understand why toddlers or babies bite. Many times they will bite because they want to relieve the pressure in their gums while teething. They may also think it is a fun game to play with mommy and daddy. Preschoolers often bite because they have not learned how to handle or cope with stress or do not have the verbal skills to communicate what is wrong with them. Biting is very upsetting to everyone and if you do not deal with it while they are young it may continue, as they get older. That is the last thing you would want to happen. There are a few hints and tricks you can use to help your biting child cope with stress and emotions in another way. Here are some ideas to help stop your childs biting habit.
The first item of business is to step in the minute your child bites someone. You should tell them in a stern voice, “That is biting! You may not bite people.” Express your disapproval firmly and remove the child from the situation. Regardless of what other mom’s may have told you, it does not do any good to bite your child back, and in fact may be very detrimental. They will be getting a mixed message or they will think it is all right for a parent to bite but not a child.

It is important to develop an action plan if your child has been biting and you have not been able to make them stop. You should be prepared to take emergency action and ask for a meeting of the adults that are caregivers. The group should include their teacher, day care helper, or baby-sitter. You should agree on a consequence for the biting behavior. It should be something everyone understands and will be consistently carried out. The consequence could be the loss of a favorite toy, time-out, or they are sent home. Whatever the consequence it must be an action that everyone will follow through with. It has to be strictly and consistently enforced. The consequence should be suitable to the age of the biter.

The next step in stopping the biting behavior is to create empathy by comforting the biting victim. The kids already know that biting hurts, so after removing the biter from the situation, focus all your concern on the victim. Doing this will not only show your child that his or her action caused pain but also show them how to give sympathy. Have your child find a way to atone for his bite. Have them offer a band-aid or a Kleenex, have them draw a picture as a way to apologize to the victim. As a parent you should apologize to the other parents right away either in person or by phone call. Believe me, it is best for the victim’s parents to hear the story from you than a third-party, and that you tried to help their child.