I Feel like My Son Is Bored with Me..

Well, I hate to say this but the AAP recommends NO TV until at least 2 years. Have you thought about joining a mommies group like MOPS?

I am sorry if this is a duplicate suggestion...I didn't read all your other responses....but if he likes Thomas, which all my boys LOVED!!! How about investing in his very own train table? They are very cute and allow for hours of entertainment. If you keep your eyes out you should be able to find a whole set for @$100. I velcroed my sons down so he could not destroy the track and it has survived and thrived thru 4 boys!!

K.

Are you trying to be his only entertainment? It's been awhile since I've been around this age but I think that at 20 months he can play with toys by himself if you're in the area. Have a drawer or shelf in the kitchen that he can reach and put pots, wooden spoons, plastic containers, etc in/on them and encourage him to play while you're doing something else.

Rotate his toys so that he doesn't tire of them all and has "new" ones with which to play. Encourage him to play with his toys while you're in the room by talking with him but not actually down on the floor playing with him. I remember my granddaughter sitting and looking at books by herself. She also enjoyed pulling at the pages of a magazine that had lots of pictures. An old one so that it didn't matter when she tore them.

Toys don't have to be expensive or even purchased ones. I found a lot of toys for my grandchildren at Goodwill or other thrift stores. You can wash them in the dishwasher or using vinegar along with soap and water. Babies love fabrics or other objects with different textures.

I'm sorry that you think of the park as germ laden. One thought is that kids are sick often because they are protected from the germs that help their systems build up immunity.

Another place to go is to the library's programs for toddlers. There are programs during which someone reads to the babies or where you can learn sign language with your baby.

I've heard of coffee shops which cater to mothers and babies.

It might help to play CDs or some other source of music that your son will find interesting. You can sing along while you're involved in your activity and he in his.

Put a toy that he likes on one side of the room and ask him to go get it. Try this with something new for him to explore once he gets there. Perhaps a plastic jar with beans, beads, small toys inside.

Babies like noise. Put several items with different sounds and a wooden spoon on the floor. Show him how to bang on each one. Or let him discover the banging for himself.

A quick something to occupy his time is to fold a piece of scotch tape in a circle and stick it to his finger. I've had babies take several minutes trying to get it off. Then put it back on on a different finger. This works well when you're having to sit and wait for something to happen.

You can put an inch of water and a few "toys" in the bathtub and let him play while you clean the bathroom. Sometimes I sat on the toilet and read during this time. You could take a chair into the bathroom or place it at the door so that you could supervise and still rest.

If he's walking, each him how to go in a circle to a tune such as "Here we go Round the Mulberry Bush." then spontaneously from time to time sing it and ask him to "go round" on his own.

Give him "chores" to do for you. Ask him to get a tissue from across the room for you.

Give him several tissues or pieces of paper to crumple and throw around.

Give him indoor soft balls to roll on the floor. At this age the balls could be crumpled pieces of aluminum foil.

Give him some foil that he can crumple.

Once you start to think about what you already have in your home you'll think of more things that he can explore and entertain himself with.

Please don't think of yourself as being boring to your baby. You are the most important person to him and his well being. Entertaining him is not your primary role. Helping him learn how to entertain himself will help you feel less trapped. If you've been spending most of your time playing with him he will fuss and cry when you begin to change that pattern. Gradually reduce the amount of time you're directly involved with playing with him might help in the transition.

LATER; Geez, J S, a couple of moms said that it's recommended that a child only watch this much TV and you take it as criticism. I feel badly for you. I bet your hormones are all over the place. Please when you start feeling so sensitive remind yourself that no one is intending to criticize you. Find a positive affirmation to say over to yourself so that you can continue to feel good about yourself. Example: you could say, I know I feel criticized and I also know that I'm doing a good job as Cooper's mom and then shake it off.

What I found especially interesting is that my first response to you was to say it's OK if he watches more TV since you are pregnant and so tired. Then I remembered the official recommendation and focused on other ideas.

I'm a strong believer in doing what one is able to do without feeling guilty about what one is told that they should do. I've tried to wipe should out of my vocabulary and have had only limited success. I substitute "ideally" as in "ideally my toddler should have limited TV viewing but at the moment that's not possible" and then think thru what I can do to limit it as much as is possible in this circumstance.

I do want to tell you that my granddaughter watched a lot of TV as a toddler. I watched her while my daughter worked. I hadn't had any experience with TV and toddlers and didn't think thru the possible consequences. She enjoyed it and it gave me a break. At the time I had very little energy. I watched with her and found the programs to be not only interesting and fun but also educational.

Later, I read that there is a theory that watching too much TV could be one of the causes for ADHD. This theory did not make sense to me. How could a toddler be more quiet than focused than when they're watching TV?

Now, my granddaughter is 9 and in the 4th grade. She is being treated for ADHD because from the beginning of 1st grade she has had serious difficulty staying in her seat, focusing, and completely her work. She is responding well to medication and some extra attention from school staff in the form of teaching skills special to her needs.

She also had difficulties in Kindergarten but she had an experienced teacher who was able to give her extra support.

Perhaps I don't blame myself because later her mother also allowed the TV to be on most of the time. Or perhaps I'm still not convinced that watching TV alone is the big contributor to ADHD that some experts would like us to believe. When it comes down to it "they" say that they don't really know what causes ADHD and that most likely it is caused by a number of factors.

So......my point is that you don't need to be defensive and think someone is saying you're a bad mother if you allow Cooper to watch more than a certain amount of TV. I think that our ability to be with him interacting for the most part in a positive way is much more important than the amount of TV he watches. We know positive parental interaction is important from generations of experience. The affects of TV is too new and too unexplored. So don't worry about how much TV Cooper watches. Asking for ideas for activities is a good thing and I doubt than anyone wanted to make you feel bad.

Aww don't beat yourself up! They go through stages,.. it might be time to get a couple new toys to spice up his creativity. Playdough is a great activity for many reasons,.. If you don't want to spend the money, you can find recipes online that are safe to even eat, not that you want to! I made it when I was little and remember it being REALLY salty! If you want to color them you just use a little food coloring. This is an activity I like to pull out ever so often. Also, coloring is good, but if he always uses crayons, mix it up and give him markers - smelly ones, paints, etc. My son preferes markers over crayons any day, and to him painting is WAAAAY more fun than markers! (finger painting, using a brush, sponges...). Get some kitchen pots and pans out,.. play the drums with him using wooden spoons, let him get noisy. Or play kitchen. Turn on some music and have a dance party. Get some plastic eggs or a bag of duckies and have him do a treasure hunt in the yard or house. It doesn't have to be Easter to have an egg hunt! My hubby has been unemployed for a few months and is now playing the SAHD role. I can imagine day in and day out how it gets to be difficult finding creative activities as time goes on. We all have it in us, but sometimes need a little help to get our creative juices motivated again. One thing I've noticed is my son really loves it when I set him up a "special" activity. Like put down a blanket and bring a new game out. It's like he knows its his special time and its something new.
When my son was in daycare they were really great at making every week a different thing to explore. One month each week was a different color. They had Dinosaur week, farm animal week,.. They celebrated fall,.. raking leaves and jumping in them, doing art projects with leaves. Try having him help you do your tasks. He's going to make a mess but he will love it.

I would encourage him to learn how to play independedntly, once you have baby around he will have to share you anyway. You don't have to be the primary entertainment source. My son does get to watch a couple of his favorite shows on tv and we do spend time together but he also gets a good amount of time on his own to explore. It has been fun watching him learn and play on his own.

Heya ...

It's harder with a first, but do you have a fenced yard? Bundle him up in a bunch of layers and let him bang around in it. If you have a corner he can dig up, better yet.

This leads naturally to another hour of happy toddler (while mommy mostly sits), in the bath ...

And those two activities (especially if he got cold) have usually used SO much energy, plus input SO much information to process into his little brain, that he might even (if you are lucky :) ) proceed to need a NAP ;).

I didn't put my kids outside much at first (mostly because we didn't have a fence) ... now that my younger ones are getting decent outside time, I really wish I'd done it with the older ones too. (We never could afford a fence ... about five years ago I gave up on pride and installed those green-metal-wire garden fences ... the kids can technically get through them, but I set up and of course completely enforced a "go past the fence, even a little bit, and you come inside and don't get to be outside again for a couple of days" rule ... even the most boundaries-fighting child only took about 5 times before she stopped fighting that boundary. And the green metal wire, while horrendously downscale, is pretty hard to see from the street ... so the neighbors don't complain much ;). )

Hey J.S.,

I went through something similar with my son around that age (he's now almost 24 months). It sounds as if you're already doing a lot of the normal SAHM tricks - park, library, etc. It's got to be more difficult given that you're pregnant. (It's tiring growing a human!) So, for the few nice days we have left, I'd bundle up and get over to the zoo. And for bad weather days, you might try the Portland Children's Museum or OMSI. (We make OMSI a once a week trip during fall and winter. It's awesome!) Also, if you don't mind driving, a trip out to the Oregon Coast Aquarium might be fun. For less expensive ideas, try hooking up with one or more mommy groups so you can schedule some play dates. Oh, and mall walking is a favorite of ours, and some malls even have a little area with play structures the kids can climb on.

Good luck entertaining your little one!

It definitely is more challenging to find things to do when the weather gets bad but you just have to look at it as a challenge to find clever things to occupy your time.

I see that you live in Lake Stevens, so I don't have specific info for up there, but I often took my girls to the Seattle Community Centers. There is an open play gym nearly every day of the week, and they only cost a couple dollars. I know there is a place in Arlington (Andrew's Playroom) that opened this year and has the same type of play time, just a smaller room. I bet you could find storytime at your library or maybe your parks & rec/community center has toddler time.

Also, if you go to Meetup.com you can find a bunch of groups that have meetings quite often during the month. You can meet new people and get out. It's nice to take the "big kid" somewhere where they can play on their own under your watchful eye, but you can sit and relax!

I too had my daughter Feb 2008, but she's got two older sisters to help keep her entertained! Lately she's been playing more on her own with dolls, puzzles, and play food (bringing me meals!). But I know how boys can be more - energetic - at this age. Blessings to you!

I think you are being a bit hard on the moms in this group and a little defensive about your own parenting skills. No one called you a bad mom-it was simply pointed out that 2 hours a day is a lot of TV for a young child. You asked for (and got) many suggestions about how to entertain your child.

My daughter is the same age. She likes to put large beads onto pipecleaners (with supervision of course). She also likes to glue shapes to paper and paint. The train table at Barnes and Noble is fun if you want a change of scenery, as is the pet store or zoo, museums, and story hour at the library or book stores. They are very interested in other kids at this age so it's nice to go places where they can watch other kids and interact.

My daughter also likes to help cook. When cooking at this age they really like to sort things so if you give them three bowls and have them put lettuce in each, then mushrooms, etc, they will actually make the salad for dinner and love it the entire time.

Singing songs and doing finger plays are a big hit and they catch on so quickly. I recommend the Wee sing cd if you don't already have it. I think you can pretty much turn everything into a game at this age. Good luck and congrats on baby #2.

Hey, I saw your question and just HAD to tell you that I so understand how you feel! My daughter just turned 2 and I just had another sweet baby girl 4 weeks ago. During late pregnancy I was exhausted and my two year old wore me out so I did let her watch a lot of tv. And with a newborn and me still recovering, we still let her watch a lot of her fav cartoons. I know it isn't the perfect situation, but it gives me a break and I really need that right now. Don't feel bad. You don't need to feel guilty right now! Oh and I TOTALLY agree with you about vaccinations.

He is too young for that much TV. He needs to build a Thomas train track instead and talk to you about it. Encourage him to talk about where is going and what it sees.

Also his attention span for his age is really good. In fact phenomenal. Usually it is only 10 minutes or so. So he is doing really good.

Try finger painting in his high chair with nothing but his diaper on. (courtesy of my daughter-n-law) He can also feet paint if you can handle it and have space for it in the garage.

Also being a bit bored is not such a bad thing. It encourages a child to find something to do on his own. Keep the TV off and see what he does.

I can understand the temptation to put kid in front of t.v. when tired from pregnancy. but you shouldn't give into that. the American Academy of Pediatrics that children should watch no more than an hour or two a day, and that children under 2 should watch no television at all.

If you can afford it you should enroll in gymboree play and music classes. They are wonderful and they gym, music, and art. If not then there is tons of other stuff to do.

I would look into joining MOM's club International it is a group of women in your community that get together and do different events that are low cost or free like play dates, book clubs, pancake pyjama breakfast, pumpkin patch etc. It is a great way for you to get to know other moms in the community to.

Another nice thing is to get a membership to the children's museum or science center. I did this while pregnant. We went ALL THE TIME I just sat on the bench and watched my kid go crazy exploring the different things like sand pit, water table etc.

Challenge yourself to turn t.v. off for one week. You'll be amazed how easy it is after a while.