I Am Not Attacking anyone...I Am Just Trying to Tell You How I Feel.

The only way I have found to get past all those sticky spots is a very effective process called Non-Violent Communication. Do a quick google search to find explanations, examples, books and classes. My husband and I both studied this a number of years ago, and still use this approach in difficult situations or with extremely stubborn, opinionated, or touchy people. It's pretty amazing what a difference it makes.

There are a few simple steps to master. The actual "mastery" takes some practice, so if you can find a workshop, or a study group working on it, it does help. But it's so worth the effort. It teaches you how to respectfully hear the real concerns of the other person, and let them know you understand their issues, without using the kinds of feedback that's likely to trigger the response you describe. Even though I still use it imperfectly, this has made a very positive difference for me in some very difficult family relationships.

There comes a time when you realize it's time to walk away and stay away. Cut them out of your life. Their issues are theirs--don't make them yours.

I have a couple of crazy people in my family one being my Mom's sister who refused to go to Mom's funeral because I would be there. HUH???

A cousin who can't talk to me because she is a good Christian and I am not a Christian so if she hears my voice it's the devil talking to her. So she could call me and yell at me then hang up before I could speak. I ended up calling the police in her city and telling them to go tell her to stop harrassing me.

Somebody needs their meds and it's not me.

Sometimes the tone of your voice can say even more than the words you are using. Be sure you are not unintentionally communicating anger, sarcasm etc with the tone of your voice.
Other than that...you are right to be using "I" statements instead of "you" statements...that is less threatening and tends to help with communication.
That being said...some people are just NOT going to be able to hear what you are saying without feeling threatened or accused of something and you might as well just forget it.
For example...one of my daughters is going through some issues right now that are really effecting her thought processes. I told my husband it is like dealing with a split personality...I never know "which daughter" is going to be on the other end of the phone when I call. She got VERY upset about something the other day...something that I happen to KNOW she is confused and mistaken about. I also know that if I point that out to her it isn't going to accomplish a thing...other than to get her even more upset and angry than she already is. So...I kept my lips tightly shut ( a challange for me!! lol) and just kept my opinion to myself. Within an hour I received a text from her "Sorry I blew up Mom...you know I love you!!!". Sometimes making our point just isn't worth it.

What I have found is this happens when your opinion differs on a core belief that is also one of opinion. An example is I medicated my children for their ADHD. I was never medicated and miserable as a child. I know my mom made what she felt was the best choice and I was only trying something different. I have said as much to her. Even hearing my reasons and that I am not doing something different because she was wrong she always felt my medicating my kids was a criticism of her parenting.

Unfortunately over 20 years and she never changed or accepted that I was not criticizing her. She was dogmatic and there is little hope to change their opinion once they get it in their heads. Such is the behavior of dogs. If the person you speak of is dogmatic there is little you can do but avoid the subject.

For my mom she didn't get to see her grandkids for over a year. That was enough to get her to drop the subject. Long story behind that mind you....

From an outsider's view with no idea what the issues are-sounds like you need to NOT TRY to communicate with this person. I have family members who cannot be reasoned with. Therefore, I barely see them, and don't try to reason with them. If it's not your spouse or your child, I say, ditch them!

Avoid those people.

Consider Cruicial Conversations or Crucial Confrontations if you're looking for something to read.

Well, I think the amount of effort you should apply is related to the relationship. Co-worker? Be done--polite, courteous, work related conversation only. Neighbor? Bye-bye. Mother or husband? Well, that MIGHT take a bit more effort. It might be worth it in the end, it might not. hard to say from the little we know here. That's for you to decide.
Your example "I don't like the way I'm being treated." might not be the way to go....it COULD be construed as an insult, by a person who is already on the defensive. Maybe try "When you a, then I feel b" etc." or "I won't be talked to in that way, it's disrespectful. Call me when you calm down."

I think the best thing you can do is not bring the subject up. When whoever this is does, just say "I'm not willing to talk about this again." No matter what the baiting is in his or her conversation, just repeat it.

If they won't leave you alone, leave the room, leave the house, whatever. Deprive them of your presence. At some point, unless they are stalking you, they will stop bringing up the offending subject.

Stop being so nice. You don't have to put up with this. No books needed - just stop being their punching bag.

Dawn

Search terms like Passive Aggressive. See if any of the listed behavior patterns "fit" the indivudual your having these issues with.
There are books on how to deal with this type of personality disorder so I would definately look in to it.

Good luck!