Maybe not lucky, perhaps blessed but even though I have had to deal with more than most in life I have some of the most amazing people around me to support me. My 17 year old has autism, it was hard I suppose, no I know it was, but it was never anything I couldn't handle.
Amazingly it was never anything my older kids couldn't handle either. They are 9 and 11 years older than my third because apparently it takes me 8 years to forget why I only had two kids for 8 years. Yes I know I am mixing up numbers and 99 numbers, sorry. I was told that is grammatically bad.
You have no idea what it is like to have a 16 year old daughter who sees you are frazzled and calls her friends and says I am hanging out with mom on a Friday night. I don't think I would be the person I am today without my kids and I have no idea where 3 of 4 would be without his older sibs. He is such a cool kid now, just so much more amazing than I ever imagined when we were in and out of therapy and hospitals.
It makes me sad that there are some people that are so focused on their self that they cannot even tolerate people like my son. I should know by now I cannot change them but I keep trying but that isn't the point of this.
I know there are a fair few moms on this board with kids on the spectrum. So I wonder, what is your rock, do you have a rock? Are your kids still young? Do you know that all that hard work, there really is a light at the end of the tunnel?
Ten years ago I wondered if I would survive, now I am happier than I ever imagined, I just want to pass on a bit of hope.
Doris, having ADHD myself I know the I don't think it is real very well. Even knowing what I know every appointment brings another, is this autism or something we can work on?
Patricia, that is so cool!
Mom, thanks. I just know about ten years ago I would have loved to hear it is worth it.
Bot, always appreciate your insight and job opportunities. :)
TF, I don't consider my son a victim either, he is who he is. It is just the idea that having a disability allows you the amazing perk to cuss and hurt other kids? That is crazy talk. I pulled him, against the wishes of his school, and moved him to the special school district school until he could control himself. I did this not only to protect the other kids but that he would have an awful school life if everyone was afraid of him. Add to that he could not handle hurting another kid, it was the best choice for him. I don't know, maybe rambling here but she seemed to just grasp at everything, thrown at me, trying to excuse her own lack of empathy. I don't understand why it is so hard to say, I didn't consider that, sorry.
Elena, not intruding at all. Perhaps I should have worded it better because there are a lot of things thrown at us as parents and you sound completely amazing. I think that is the funny thing, if you don't mind me making assumptions, but I don't consider myself amazing, I wonder if you are the same. I didn't do this to change the world, or be impressive or amazing, I just did the best I could for my kids. That meant raising my older kids to be caring and empathetic, did not realize that the kids they became would be the people I needed to be the mom I needed to be for my third. I divorced when he was 7 to get him away from his father's uncontrolled temper. Had to go back to school, get a full time job, do the nearly impossible. Yet my older kids just saw it as the family needs me to succeed and they would do what they could to make it happen. Sorry, rambling, I just think my kids are very cool.
I hate that the other poster said what she did to you. It was unfair and unjust yet she feels she is the "victim" due to her perfect children. Geesh
I hate posts like that because some people can't digest reality.
No wonder it was a flounce,
It's all about attitude, isn't it?
I think those of us who have had to deal with hardness in life are a whole lot more forgiving and at the same time, a whole lot more demanding as well.
In other words, love more, complain less.
None of us are really that special, we are all just getting by, doing our best.
<<<hugs>>> to you, and every mom out there dealing with her daily struggles, some, much, MUCH harder than others!
I agree with Momandlovingit.
This is a beautiful post J.!
:-)
I found a mom blog - a Diary of a mom - best thing ever.
Found autistic bloggers- oh my gosh, best resource in the world, seriously.
They inspired me to start autistikids.com - a website hub of autistic bloggers, organized in categories - to help other parents of kiddos on the spectrum get answers from the REAL experts.
When WE parents have empathy and work to see what's going on for our kiddos, how the world is working for them instead of assuming it's all fine and they're the problem, it makes a huge difference. Knowing I can ask for info/advice from autistic bloggers and facebookers that I've connected with is fantastic.
J, I don't know if you remember the post several years back when a woman wrote that she didn't believe in any "disabilities" except for bipolar (one of her family members had it, so it MUST be real) and she upset so many moms that some of them were in tears. There were so many posts of upset people.
Hugs to you. Honestly, children can be a hard road any way you look at it, neurotypical or not.
I love this post...you and your kids sound wonderful! :)
Really nice J.. I love posts like these :)
I think I missed out on some posts yesterday because I can see a question was deleted. I hope it didn't get too nasty. I didn't like how it was headed so maybe best I didn't see all the comments.
I love how you acknowledge how much you've gained from all your kids and how you all pulled together. You are all stronger for it and I believe from all your posts, able to see the best in situations and also recognize what truly matters. You don't seem to sweat the small stuff. I'm sure your kids feel blessed too to have you as their mom :)
What an uplifting post!!!!
It amazes me everyday that people don't let people be people. With that, I try to teach my younger child to understand everyone is different and we will never understand and know everyone's history, so accept them for whom ever they are.
Now that I feel she is of age, I have been allowing her to watch "All in the Family" as we analyze the behaviors together. It helps her to understand what peoples problems are today. I try to show her that these behaviors will continue to follow people until people decide to break the cycle.
Human behavior is one of my favorite subjects.
Continue to enjoy and celebrate your child and life!
It's so nice to know that I'm in good company feeling lucky and blessed to have the one I do. I've always believed that God gives us the one(s) we're supposed to have and I think you proved that axiom above. And boy did I need this today....just got back from lunch with coworkers, one of whom does nothing but complain about how rotten her daughter is....her word not mine. I adore my darling son and 99% of the time we have a great time together....Now that he's a teenager, those hormone surges can be a challenge, but what chapter of him growing up doesn't bring a challenge or two along with all the blessings.
Thanks for the sunshine J.!! S. :-)
