I Am in Dire Need of Advice!!!!!!!!!

Hi C.,
I have read many many books on this subject, I have an 18month old son. You should never let a baby under 6months old "cry it out". Up until 6months of age, babies need to be responded to as they are still too young to be expected to self soothe.

tell them to ask their doctor about acid reflux. I think Colic is an "old school excuse" for some doctors to give new parents My son was put on medicine for acid reflux at 4 1/2 wks and it made a difference in his discomfort. we thought it was gas and tried mylicon w/ every feeding, we tried everyting, but until we actually got him on medicine, that's when he actually calmed down a little bit. worth a shot to ask.

My son was also colicky and I tried all the usual things the doctor tells you. I tried taking him for a walk in his stroller, rocking him in the glider, sitting in a dark quiet room, etc. The one thing that I only used occasionally was the vacuum....the white noise always worked. You can also use a radio in between stations for the static. I've heard about the book that some of the moms suggested, it's called "The Happiest Baby on the Block." I've heard it has some good suggestions for this type of thing.

A few more things that worked sometimes...swaddling and rocking, music, massage (particularly the abdomen and legs), lying on his stomach on my thighs, etc. Every baby is different so experiment and see what works.

Also, tell her that if she is at her wits end and she doesn't have anyone to give the baby to...it's okay to put the baby down in the crib and walk away for a few minutes to regain her sanity. If she is tense and full of anxiety the baby will sense it...it's better to walk away for a few minutes and relax then come back and try to soothe the baby again. I don't recommend leaving a baby that age for too long but it's better to walk away and take a break than to lose it altogether.

Hi C.

My DD is 6 months old now and became colicky when she was 2 weeks old ( which is the classic age for colic to kick in). My pediatrician told me that colic is no longer considered a belly problem ( ie gas, formula intolerance), the medical field is beginning to think that newborns who show colic symptoms - crying for 3 or more hours continuously for at least 3 days a week is a sensory overload. Newborns have become so overwhelmed with stimulus throughout the day that they are stressed and the only way they can block out the stimulus is to cry.

My daughter started to cry at 8:30pm everynight and what I had to do for sometimes hours was walk back and forth while gently bouncing her up and down on my chest. Other suggestions I was given are loud white noise or a loud Mommy bear (womb sounds), LOUD shusshing in the ear, lay baby face down across the forearm with head nestled in the crook of the elbow ( face to the side of course), swaddle, swaddle, swaddle, babies feel more secure all swaddled up with the sounds of the womb because that was all they knew before being thrust into our hectic world. The car may help, fasten baby in her car seat and then tuck blankets around her to keep her feeling nice and secure and warm and try going for a ride. If ANYONE can give Mom a break it will do wonders for her, it is sooo hard having to deal with colic because us Mom's feel like we should be able to fix whatever is upsetting our babies. If they have a swing try that. And, if Mom needs a few minutes to herself it is OK to place baby in a safe area ( crib, swing, bouncy seat) and walk outside or to the bedroom and get a few moments to collect herself.

BTW, my daughter's colick only lasted 6 weeks, one night she just didn't start crying. 6 weeks is a long time of crying but most things I have read say that by the 12 weeks mark most babies should grow out of it - little comfort for the Mom right now I know, but it won't last forever if it really is colic. Now, my daughter rarely fusses. Tell her to hang in there and if she feels like she needs help she can search for postpartum support, colic support, or even call her OB/GYN and see if they have any local support groups - sometimes it really helps to know that you aren't the only person who is having the same troubles.
Oh, I think that 6 weeks is a little too young to "cry it out." I think that they really need to know that they have someone who is responding to their needs, even if it doesn't seem like it works.

My heart goes out to both you & your friend!
A couple of suggestions which you can take or leave.
1st It sounds like the baby is not nursed. Even though it has been 6 weeks since she gave birth, your friend can still nurse the baby. It will take a lot of patience, but her milk is still in their & all it takes is some regular feedings for her to start producing at the normal rate again. There is nothing, not even special formula, to compare with Mother's milk, & maybe this will help with the colic. She must watch her diet though -no gassy or spicy foods.
2nd The other advice I have is to recommend Dr Harvey Karp's (I think) video or book The Happiest Baby on the Block. It teaches about Swaddling, Swinging, Shushing, Stomach Positioning, & Sucking (Pacifier use) -known as the 5 S's. My son REALLY responded well to the Shushing it calmed him down in an instant. Of course we had to continue with the noise for about 5-10 minutes, but it was worth it. The noise we used for the shushing was usually holding him close, to my shoulder, about 2 feet away from the kitchen sink as I ran the water full blast. Something about the noise of the water calmed him down. I have heard other moms use the noise of the vacume cleaner or hair dryer.
Lastly, make sure your friend is able to get out of the house to get a break. Doing this once in a while may be all she needs to be able to face a screaming baby with a clear head & new prospective.
God Bless You.

Swaddeling the baby very tightly (the actually sell swaddeling blankets now), Holding her in a front carrier (this worked for my daughter who had colic they say the warmth and clostness helps), Keeping the baby upright for about a half and hour after feeding OR THE BEST ADVICE: GET THER BABY ASLEEP BEFORE THE CRANKY TIME IF THE EPISODES ARE OCCURING AT NIGHT or around the same time during the day!!! When we figured this out it solved a lot of our problems. Also static (a vaccum cleaner, snowey channel ect...). Good luck!

Crying it out. Start with 5 minutes than go in and pat the baby than minutes 10 pat the baby don't pick her up, go back in than 15 repeat ect.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend going through this.

Is there any way you could go over and relieve her for a bit? Your friend most likely needs a good hot shower and a nap if possible so she can regroup herself. She is a nervous wreck and needs someone beside her to calm her and help her through. I know with my son, it took weeks to really get to know his different cries to know what exactly, if anything is wrong.

It's also important to try using a swaddling blanket, babies love that feeling of security. If her baby is sensing her mom's upset and frustration, that could be causing some of her crying too. I'm not sure I would let a 6 week old cry that long on her own either. She should be falling asleep in her arms eventually. Has she tried the Soothie pacifiers they use in the hospitals, my son still loves his!

There also has to be colic support group(s)online that you friend could log into daily for advice and support. The sooner she gets herself together, the better off the little baby will be too.

I wish her luck!

In my opinion, she is too young to be crying it out, but different things work for different people, so that is your friend's choice. however, CIO doesn't work unless you are consistent and really let them cry for a few nights. i found out the hard way that if you only let them cry for a bit and then pick them up, it is more stress in the long run b/c they will just cry every night, knowing you will come get them if they do. has your friend tried milocon (sp?) drops for gas? Also, is she making sure to burp her really well before putting her down? if all else fails, she could let her co-sleep, but that is another one that is a personal choice. good luck!

.

6 weeks is WAY WAY to young to Cry it out! Colic last about 3 months. It will be tough those three months, but it will get better. Try the swing at night to help her. The bouncer should help too.

I am going to give you the secret, the "Holy Grail" of infant calming...its a book by Dr. Karp called "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and it is the BEST BEST BEST method for calming colicky babies! I was so impressed with his method that I am currently taking a course to become certified to teach classes!! The website is www.thehappiestbaby.com. If your friend needs advice or you would like to speak with me further, email me and I would be happy to give you my number!

My daughter was also colicky. I HIGHLY recommend swaddling the baby and turning on the vacuum. I used to rock my little one with the vacuum next to me and she would immediately melt against my shoulder and go to sleep. It stimulates their calming reflex. Please tell her about it and keep me posted!

All 3 of my choldren had colic and i always gave them gas relief drops before they ate(helped with tummy problems)and when they kicked into high gear with the screaming and crying i would turn on the heating pad(normally on high)wrap it in a blanket place it on my chest and then put my screaming child on it.The heat helped and they calmed down..i also rocked them and hummed while having them on the heating pad.But i'd place their tummy right on my breast and applied some pressure...yes i got puked on a few times but they calmed down.
With my oldest i remember i went almost 3 month this way every night and when he calmed down i'd try to put him down to sleep and it started all over again.I would have to stay awake almost all night rocking him and than my mom watched him during the day so i could get some sleep...it was hell but i had 2more after that.

J.

I would definitely advise using the sling and experimenting with bouncers or swings. My son went through this as well, and the only breaks I got from holing him during the day were in his bouncer. It vibrated and that motion seemed to to soothe him. Definitely don't try crying it out. This method is usually only recommended for babies that are at least 4 months old. Most pediatricians and books on the subject also don't recommend letting them cry it out if the child is fussy because of illness. Essentially, if there crying because they're in pain (as opposed to just crying because they'd rather be up and playing instead of sleeping) this method isn't going to be effective.

If she has a swing or a vibrating seat I would try using them. If not then have her strap her in her car seat ans run the washer. For some reason they like the movement. Have her try those. Also have her swaddle the baby like in the hospital I konw my lil guy loved to be like that. If all else fails go for a drive in the car. Maybe even turn on the vacum. I have heard that helps with them. I hope she can find some help with her daughter. Rmeind her also to sleep whenever her lil girl is. She needs to rest also to. Can you go to her house and tyr taking the baby and walking with her maybe your friend can ask other family and friends to come over and help her also that way she can have a break even if she just goes and takes a long hot bath. She needs to relax the baby is going to feel the tension in her body.

Hi, my second child had not just colic, but extreme colic and acid reflux together. We did not want to put him on any meds so a friend suggested Alimentum. It is a formula- a very expensive formula but very, very worth it. He had colic for 6 months, it was horrible. Your friend really needs family and friends to step up to the plate and take the baby so she can have some time to herself- to sleep, to read, to just not hear a screaming baby. Tell her the money is soooo worth it to not feel the way she has been feeling. Good luck.

Colic is a tough thing....my daughter had it until she was 5 months old.
I will just list some tips that helped me deal with her colic. They don't always work and you may have to try combinations, but it's better than nothing. Try the five S's.
1. SWING....Colic babies love motion it sooths them. Try placing the baby in a infant swing or try using the football hold. Place baby on her belly with her head on your upper arm. Swing her gently side to side.
2. SUCKING... also calms the baby. Try giving her a binkie (if she will take one).
3. SWADDLING...wrap her nice and tight.
4. SOUND....this one helped my baby girl a lot. Try white noise. I used the sound of a vacumm cleaner. In fact we burned two sweepers and a dirt devil up...lol. There are also CD's with white noise.
5. SAYING SHHHHH....It may sound funny, but getting close to the baby's ear and saying shhhh can somtimes calm them down.
Car rides also worked for us. I remember getting her in the car and going for a ride at 3:00 in the morning! I also use to just walk the floor with her for hours.
Babies with colic have a hard time adapting to the outside world. They miss being inside mommy's womb. So making them snug, movement and letting them hear swishing noise can really calm them down.

Dealing with a colic baby is hard work, but it will not last forever. Just remember that mom can always use a brake. Good luck!

Hi C.,
My son had colic too when he was 6 weeks old until he was about 4-5 months. He too was on Nutramigen. After he was on it awhile and we gave him a routine (strict) he started to calm down. I cried all the time, made my hubby come home from work a few times and had my best friend who is a mother of 3 help me out. Just support your friend and try to be there as much as you can for breaks. Crying it out should not be an option at all right now, the baby is too young! When they have colic, they need lots of love and the more she gets frustrated the baby will sense it. I know, easier said than done. Good luck and hang in there!
Christina

try co-sleeping and using a sling, which you can buy online at hotslings.com and kangarookorner.com

I would not want a 6 wk old baby be made to cry it out. Still too young and if she has no one responding to her cries how will she trust in her primary caregiver. I would recommend Harvey Karp's Happiest baby on the block, talking again to the pediatrician anything but allowing the poor baby to cry it out

Colic is so tough on a parent!

I think that mom and dad each need to have a night of the week that they know is a night that they can just get out and leave the other parent with the baby--just so that they can de-stress. I would be VERY hesistant to leave the baby with a sitter at this point because you just don't know how the sitter will react to the baby. On nights when both mom and dad are home, they might take shifts...so that lets say Abby screams from 6-8...well if mom takes the 6-7 shift it may be a bit more bearable knowing dad will be on from 7-8. I'd encourage holding Abby, and perhaps draping her over an arm, face down, so she gets pressure on her tummy. Also do back massage, tummy massage, and "bicycle" the legs.

At 6 weeks old though, I think she is WAY too young for any sleep training like "cry it out." Dr. Weissenbluth says to wait until babies are 3-4 months old in "Healthy Sleep, Healthy Child." I didn't actually do CIO with any of my 4 children, so obviously I don't feel that it is a necessary thing to do. I rocked my babies, or nursed them, or cuddled...each one had their own pattern of falling asleep. The youngest is 3 now, and they all sleep fine.

Hello, Have you had the doctor look into acid reflux. Sometimes the baby does not have to spit up to have acid reflux. The gas is just as painful. Have your friend try to let the baby ly on the stomach and see if that helps. Another thing is when lying on back just massage the tummy and have her move the legs as if he were riding a bicycle. This moves the air to top and then can get a burp out or air out the other end. Good luck

This sounds like the same thing a close friend of mine just went through. It turns out her little one has a milk intolerance. She switched her to a real expensive formula and the baby, named Addy, is fine now. She actually is sleeping better and is not crying 'all the time!'. Addy was definately in pain!!!!! It took so long for her to figure out what the problem was because when Julie (her mom) mentioned the possibility of an intolerance the doctor acted like she was nuts. Julie finally went on her own and switched her to this formula and the baby is fine now. She dealt with this until Addy was almost eight months old because the doctor wouldn't consider this option. Email me directly and I will find out what it is that Julie has Addy on. It's only 7am now so I can't call her :).

L.

I agree with swaddling and what about "babywearing". Mine liked the sling or front carrier when they were tiny and fussy. Their tummies on your warm body helps them be warm and their tummies relax. Any skin time is great.

I'd say 6 weeks is a bit early for crying it out. The baby just doesn't have the ability to get himself calmed down yet.

I agree with the advice of giving your friend a couple hour break to shower/bathe/sleep so she can regain her sanity to deal with what sounds like a needy baby. If you have other mutual friends, maybe even working with them to give her even more relief while things are really bad. Also organizing a playgroup with local moms to let the kids just play and moms can talk about techniques that worked for them and just listen. Sometimes hearing others are in the same boat can really help and often times they've thought of something you haven't.

I don't know if my niece was diagnosed with colic, but when she was a baby she would throw tantrums at a certain time of night if she wasn't already asleep (around 8:30). My brother and his wife noticed this and started putting her to bed abut an hour earlier. They also made her bedtime routine a soothing, quiet ritual to prepare her for sleep. It worked like a charm for them. If they missed that mark, however, she would scream for hours.

My first son was the same way. I gave into his screaming because it literally lasted for hours. I would NEVER do it again. Put her to bed, close the door, and check in every 15 minutes or so to make sure she knows you are still there and she will be ok...no matter how long it takes. EVERY habit can be broken in about three days. If you stick to your guns, you will see that in about three days, if you NEVER give in, she will stop once she realizes you are not getting her. It is hard and it does break your heart, but if you start the habit of making it ok and picking her up, it will not end. Find a quiet place for yourself where you can't hear her as much and just read or relax (as much as you can)while you let this take its course, and it will. If she has seen a dr and everything is ok, then it is just her will...just like my son. He is a great 9 year old now, but I remember the days like yesterday!

My little one had really bad gas at that age. We used the mylicon and basically I would just hold her and bounce up and down (until my legs were ready to fall off) Babies need us!!! I always felt our job as moms is to soothe our babies. The colic will pass ours did. My leg muscles were strong as a result. www.livegreeneasy.com

There are several things to try, but most of all your friend should not be afraid to call the pediatrician for advice, you never know if there is something medical going on that may be serious. I'm on my third baby and do NOT believe in babies crying more than ten minutes to fall asleep. Adjusting formula is usually the answer. Also Dr. Brown's bottles are the best in reducing gas. Gas pains are the worst. Burping often during a feeding is key. Not letting the baby get overtired by having a rountine of eat, play, sleep, eat, play sleep, eat, play, sleep. My first also had colic and I remember going out of my mind from 11PM to 2AM when it felt like the world was asleep except for me and her screaming went right thru my body. I felt crazed. It is great your friend is reaching out for you. If you live close enough, you may want to offer to pick a night to take care of the baby from 9-11PM for example to let your friend get some sleep so she is stronger to handle the baby the rest of the night. Your friend should also take five minute breaks out of the earshot of the baby's crying just to take deep breaths and calm herself. Baby sense our tension. Putting on soft music and dancing around the room with the baby in your arms is a nice way to calm both mom and baby. Colic babies usually like to be cradled on their stomach along your arm like a monkey hanging on the branch of a tree. Hope this helps!

they have lil tummies anti gas that is out. you might want to try that. Also make sure that the baby is wrap really tight in a blanket, where she can't even move her arms and walk her back and forth. this really the only way to sooth a colic baby.

C.,

Tell your friend to check out Dr. Sears website. He and his wife Martha have written several books as well as raising several children. He has quite a few documents on there about helping to soothe fussy children. His site is http://www.askdrsears.com.

Most important of all, tell your friend to try to be calm and relax. The more upset she is the more upset the baby will become. They pick up on the parents moods. Tell her try to be patient. While it is too young to let the baby cry it out, it is not a bad thing to put the baby down for a minute or two when they are inconsolable to gather her own emotions, calm down or have a bathroom break. As long as she puts her somewhere safe and is only leaving her cry for a few minutes without trying to comfort her, she is still practicing good parenting. Sometimes as a parent you have to walk away for a few minutes to deal with your own emotions and exhaustion. Tell her to try to be patient. Also, if the formula switch is not helping, call the doctor again. Have the baby checked again. While the baby is probably fine, there are different medical conditions which can cause a child to be inconsolable. As I said, it is probably NOTHING but it could be something like acid reflux or a myriad of other things which are treatable. Tell her try not to worry but if she feels something is wrong call the doctor. If the baby is fine, it won't be a wasted call or visit because it will relieve her anxiety. Also, if she feels the doctor is not addressing the situation, don't be afraid to get a second opinion.

Tell her good luck and try to relax. That may be one of the biggest factors in the baby being so fussy. She may be picking up on Mom's anxiety caused by the crying and lack of sleep.

i go to the chiropractor regularly with my 3 year old and my 9 month old.

i wish i would have started my baby going sooner.

she also cried constantly, until she was about 4 months old. it was awful.

i just read in the chiropractic magazine that regular adjustments can reduce or stop colic, reducing the crying time each day by 2 hours or more.

we are having alot of problems with colds now and going to the chiropractor is drastically reducing our time being sick.

http://www.correctivechiro.com/

here is a website from the chiropractors that i see, you can check out some information for yourself. believe me, chiropractic has come a long way and they are not considered "quack" doctors anymore.

they help your nervous system get back into shape, and all your wellness and everything you do every day, stems from your nervous system. if your nervous system is running correctly, then so does your body.

good luck. i know some insurance agencies cover chiropractic, and some don't. it's been my experience if the chiropractor is truly out for your well-being, they will work with your financial situation and adjust pricing to suit your budget. i know mine does.

i'm not sure where you're located but my chiropractor is in downingtown and i know of another really good one in the spring city area. let me know if you want names.

She may have acid reflux. Have her feed bottles in an upright position. With the baby swaddled and held almost sitting up. And then kept in an infant seat or upward incline. She may be in pain. Crying is the only way they can tell us somthing is wrong. They don't do it for no reason. I hope she can find a solution. Some babies need to be held close for a few weeks and kept with body contact. They have an immature sensory nervous system, but since she had a good first few weeks that doesn't seem to be the problem. But tell her to do alot of cuddles and rocking. The more the baby feels sucure the better.

Hi C.,
My son had bad colic and we gave him Gripe water for the health food store or you can buy it at Whole foods. My doctor swears by it and it really worked. It might help her with the pains and she won't cry so much. Good Luck. R.

Soy-SOY-SOY-SOY!!!! They sell soy-based formula, excellent for colicy babies. First start by carnation w/ DHA is great!
Mother of 4.
Tell your friend to hold on, it's just phase ONE!!!

dr.browns bottles,, putting baby over shoulder or over knees to put pressure on her belly,mylicon drops, 1bottle of water a day, and the biggest thing that worked for me was constant holding, i didnt sleep more then 2hrs a night for 3 months with my daughter...we tried all these things and sometimes they helped there is no cure for colic, it just goes away on its own. my daughter addy was fine once she hit 11 pounds,3 month, and started cereal.it was a long road and emotionally i was drained, i think your friends biggest help would be friends and family babysitting for a few hrs a day just so mommy can rest..good luck

Colicky babies need a lot of love, time and energy. There will be a lot of crying from both baby and mommy. She will need a great support system to help. I have had friends who would try a swing or baby bouncer, trips in the car, and swinging the baby in the car seat back and forth till they calm down a bit.

Crying babies cause a get deal of frustration at times and wears one down. If she ever feels as though she may want to hurt the baby, she needs to put the baby in a safe place and walk outside for 5 -10 minutes, or call someone to come. Even the best mom in the world, who would never hurt a fly, can sometimes have these feelings.

I hope this helps. And God Bless.

Mylacon drops!!!!! and one thing that really helped my first son was sleeping kind of sitting up in a baby seat... also try a hot water bottle on her tummy... but make the water warm only....

I am so sorry for your friend. Tell her to get "The Happiest Baby on the Block" book. It promotes the 5 S's... Shhh, Swaddle, Side, Swing, & Suck. It really does work!

Also, when our baby (8 weeks old now) gets fussy we put on an AM station with just static (pretty loud) and he seems to calm right down. The hairdyer and vacuum also work. Babies love white noise.

Good luck!

I was just wandering if it started soon after she got vaccinated I have heard of there being a correlation between the two and was just wandering if it could be a reaction to that. I had two extremly colicky babies but I can't remember back that far to when they were vaccinated.

First try swalding the baby nice and tightly. Then darken the room a bit and try some soothing music...instrumental would be better. If that doesn't work, try taking the baby for a car ride in the cool night air. My middle daughter had a touch of colic when she was 3 (she didn't scream, but had a horriable barking cough) and the only thing that stopped it was the cold air. Sometimes steam works as I have been told. Tell her to take her baby back to the doctor...he can do more to help her. She may need to try another formula as well. Tell her to hang in there, it won't last forever. As a good friend you might want to try to take the baby for a few hours to let her sleep...it will really help her keep her perspective and not feel so helpless. Sleep depervation and colic can lead to PPD.

Hi. First - it's so great of you to be trying to find advice for your friend. It's so funny how many different opinions and pieces of advice there is for colic. My cousin's baby was colicky and so was mine for a time. We found the Happiest Baby on the Block technique did work for us. My baby was also premature, so this was particuraly helpful for her. As for the formula, that's a mixed bag. I've heard from other mom's that Nutramigen is the best and some say soy is the best, other's swear by rice based, thicker formula. She needs to find what works best for her child. We switched our daughter's formula several times. And I never consulted with the Ped for this. We finally found the Enfamil for gassy baby's worked the best. Not sure why - but it worked.

Good luck to your friend - tell her there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!

I agree with some of the moms about slings. Definately worth a try. I also think it is way too young to cry it out. I don't think any baby should have to cry it out, but definately not a 6 week old! Another thing to try is skin to skin contact. Have your friend strip the baby down to a diaper and her in a bra and hold the baby against her chest. Some babies respond very well to that. Also bathing with the baby is another great way to calm her. Set the baby down, get into the bath, then she should bring the baby on to her chest, then baby out, wrapped then mom out.

get her off that formula, that was the worst I ever used (and for the same problem, enfamil ar(it has rice in it so it makes it easier for them to digest and hold down make sure the baby is propped up after each feeding, if the baby is having hard stools my doc recommended cod liver oil in the bottle (stinks but works great and won't hurt baby just a few drops as it is strong tasteing)

we did the nutramigen after like 6 other formulas and quitting nursing out of desperation, that was the worse, our baby had the worst diarea ever.enfamil ar was the only thing that stopped the colic,(cvs carries it in the northend and giant used to) and a wedge pillow to keep the baby propped up. if that doesn't work get allergy testing to see if there is a milk or soy allergy,the nutramingen is corn syrup based so if the baby is still having colic it's probably reflux. I feel for your friend we went through this for 4 months until we went to a new doctor.

C., I sent you a message. My son was colic king for months so I know what she is going through. Good luck.

Has she tried running water? My son screamed none stop when he was an infant and the only thing that ever soothed him was running water. I spent a lot of time sitting on my bathroom floor holding him and running the shower for hours...it is worth a try.