The power of verbal suggestion is very strong, so she may or may not be “scared to go to bed.” However, if she is, believe me, there is a reason. Something done or said in innocence or fun may have really scared her. This is the Halloween season and we don’t watch TV this month because of all the scary trailers of horror movies, even on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon and “harmless” cartoons. Even the children’s products have scary symbols and normally sweet characters say scary things at this time of year. Monsters are hanging all over the grocery store and are on the windows. Our children don’t like clowns because one scared them one time when they were little. She may be super sensitive to “monster” things like this. So check her room, her books, her TV watching, her friends at day care (I assume you’ve asked about happenings during your work time) and anything else – could be as simple as a magazine lying around. Ask gently but seriously anyone who cares for her including father if anything has scared her lately because it will carry over to “monsters under the bed and everywhere”. At her age, she is in the middle of a major separation issue, so make sure she knows that you and her father are not going away while she sleeps. Be careful where she wakes up when she does go to sleep. Some children miss the womb when they’re born and some children are more comfortable swaddled and in a smaller bed or need more tings to love in the bed with them.
Another possibility is that you have changed laundry detergents or fabric softeners and she is having a hard time breathing in her once comfortable bed and pajamas. You might not believe the toxic chemicals and minute glass particles that are in your common household products on the shelf. Children breathe harder and have smaller lungs than adults and are affected more by them. Switch to a gentle, non-toxic one with no harmful ingredients and you might see a difference in the whole household’s sleep quality. I can tell you where to purchase because the ones at the health food store are too expensive for everyday use, but I, personally, would not use the ones sold at the major stores. I use a brand that I order direct that I trust implicitly not to be harmful. Check out www.concernedmoms.com to educate yourself a little and email me for more information. I love sharing my source.
I know this is an exhausting process, but it has an answer. Screaming for hours is never good for the child, parents or the neighbors. At some periods of the day and certain periods of life, children really need to be cuddled and pampered to understand unconditional love and the parent’s abiding presence. People who think you’re “spoiling” them worry that I’m cuddling them too much. My word is “comforting” and there are no children in this world that I have spoiled. I have helped very traumatized youngsters (in foster care), even at older ages, by holding them very tight in my arms and rocking with them. I make up tunes and sing to them words that explain that nothing will hurt them and assurance that they are safe. My sister calls me the “sleepy time lady” when she tells frustrated Moms to hand over their baby for me to get them to sleep. So don’t give up hope; relax even though you’re losing sleep (Moms have a way of keeping on keeping on until they CAN rest) because she feels your stress and tension, try all these things and I’ll look forward to hearing from you personally about what works or if you need more help.
