D.B.
If he refuses to get counseling - then go yourself. Both of you have to have the commitment to grow up and be self sufficient. He does not sound like he is interested in taking care of his family and making sure you both are moving towards that goal. You need the counseling as much as he does. I was in the same situation with my ex-husband and I found out that I was an enabler. I was enabling him to become a burden to not only our immediate family since we had three kids but also a burden to the community as a whole. People who are unwilling to help themselves much less their family are not committed to getting better. You have to make the first step and get outside help. It may not lead to a divorce but may lead to getting help for him at some point. Do NOT let him bully you by telling you that he may end up resenting you. You are ALREADY resenting him and his "inability" to get a job and become part of the family again.
Step out and get the counseling for yourself. You recognize the need to do it so move forward and keep going. Good luck to you!