Husband Has Too Many Clothes

Apparently, I am doing something wrong in my marriage....I simply ask him, "can I throw this out?..or do you want to keep it?".....

Am I missing something here? Who throws out other peoples belongings wthout their consent?

.

I would take all the old clothes and put them in a box, but don't throw them away. Put the box in the garage, basement, attic, or somewhere out of sight. If he asks where an item of clothing went you'll still have access to it. If he doesn't ask about things for six months or a year, toss the box.

Don't do it yourself or toss out 'his' clothes.
I am sure you wouldn't want him to do that to your clothes...

Okay... so, tell him, to put all his "I can wear it around the house when I am doing stuff" type clothes.... SOMEPLACE else. And it is HIS responsibility to NOT make it take up useful space, in the closets.

Or, you pile it up in a corner for him. And if he leaves it there forever, that is his problem.
Don't do it for him.

Tell him, ONLY "CURRENTLY" used clothes, clothes that is used daily, can be in the closet. That is valuable space. It should not be used for hoarding or cruddy clothes.

Or, as I do, I put all my Husband's "I can wear it around the house" clothes... in a big garbage bag. Then, I put it on the side. I tell him this. THEN... he actually NEVER uses anything in it. THUS... when he complains that the garbage bag is an eye-sore (which I KNOW he will say), I say "Its your clothes you wanted to keep.... maybe you can throw it out or donate it?" (And since it is ALREADY in a garbage bag, it is already 'ready' to just put in the car and then take it to a Goodwill donation site. *wink*.... so I subliminally, by putting it in a garbage bag, made it *easier* for him, to get rid of it).

all the best,
Susan

If you get rid of stuff without asking he is going to be really mad and resentful of you. That is the joy of marriage - putting up with really annoying habits.

I take my trashy hubby's shirts/pants/etc. and put them in a giant plastic box on the floor of the closet. For yardwork, painting, etc. But I would NEVER throw them out. He's not a toddler to sneak stuff away from, and I would be TICKED if I found him throwing out my clothes.

Just like my husband. I recently asked my man to pick *5* items from his closet that I could donate. He did. I'll ask him the same thing again next month. We'll slowly whittle it down.

Funny...my husband's thought on the stained undershirts is "it makes a good rag." Really? We don't need a million dirty t-shirt rags!! This is what I do...ask your husband if you can go through his clothes & make a pile of things that are old, stained, don't fit him or he hasn't worn in a few years. Then, he can go through the pile & approve or disapprove. For some reason, going through a pile you make is a much less daunting task for a man than going through the closet & drawers together.

I'd say he has to decide. I have the absolute same thing in my house going on. I know it's not fun. We have very little closet space but he uses half the one in our room plus the one in our hallway and it is a horrible pile of clothes. I don't even open it. However much I'd love to just throw away his old stuff, it's not something I'd ever be comfortable with. I think he'd be outraged! And wouldn't you?
He has to decide how many old clothes he needs. My husband is a carpenter and uses old clothes every day. There is no set rule that works for everybody.
I really want to gather some stuff I think he doesn't need and ask him to look through it. It's easier said than done though. I know it will create an arguement. When I asked him to donate stuff he picked out one pair of pants! Hope you have some better luck.

Sounds like my husband! If he wasnt home every night I'd think we were sharing the same guy! Cant wait to read answers. Although he does own laundry- From time to time (twice a year) I organize his clothes so he can find things (or else he goes out and buys more) and throw out old socks and underwear-I'm afraid to throw our old T shirts-he's too attached to some. I TRY to keep the stained shirts in a diff place from non stained shirts so he so he doesnt ruin the non stained ones. He's got millions. Try telling him you really need some rags!

Honey after 26 years of marriage I've learned this - filter stuff out slowly and cleverly . While he's at work, get some of his stuff and toss it out in a dumpster somewhere.

Doing the laundry means putting it away as well. When you see the stack, put it on his ???? (desk, next to his bedside). When he asks, sweetly say that he didn't finish doing his laundry. You didn't know where to put it. If he has a place for them, I guess it's his business how many he keeps.
You could have a bag for charity in the closet (like I do). Some I put in the trunk of the car (bigger items). When you know you're going in a few days, let him know he still has a chance to help people who don't have any extras. See if he'll go into the Salvation Army or Goodwill with you to shop or look around. He might find a tool he's been searching for. Proudly display the tax-deductible forms you've collected for 2010.
Good luck!

I feel you! I had to keep my clothes in boxes because my hubby was taking up the entire closet in our bedroom and the spare bedroom. I finally put my foot down. I told him I needed "blank" number of hangers so he he had to get rid of that many pieces of clothing (and in my defense he hangs up everything, even jeans and old tshirts...why cant they go in a drawer) he still has a lot more space than i do but I have a good excuse not to buy him any new clothes.

My husband says, "Oh, but there's a lot of wear in it!" My take is that maybe somebody else can wear it, then.

If you ask your fella how many shirts he thinks he needs for around the house, and then ask him to pick out that many so he'll be keeping the ones he likes best, what would he say? (OK, you don't have to laugh so hard.)

My husband has certain clothes for messing around in, of course. Just like my painting-the-walls uniform of old jeans, big shirts, and Crocs, they're not fit to wear in public, but OK for working around the house. At a certain point, when they're too bad to tolerate, they just... poof! disappear... I wonder how it happens. But he has plenty more. He never runs out.

Likewise, his dress clothes, slacks, and polo shirts tend to get grease stains on them as well as other signs of wear. If the dry cleaner can't take care of the grease stains, or the wear gets too obvious, they... poof!

I do it just a little at a time and don't say much, and I make sure he does have better things to wear. I like it when he looks good, and he knows it! So he puts up with me. Yes, "put up with" is probably the best term.

As far as other (non-worn, non-stained, non-worn-out) clothes are concerned, our church has a two-day exchange twice a year, at which people may donate clothing, shoes, books, toys, housewares, craft supplies - anything they don't need. They can also take home anything they find that they do need, and they don't have to give something in order to take something. No money changes hands; it's a stewardship thing. So twice a year I can ask my husband to go through all his stuff and fill up a bag or two. He's getting pretty good at it. I do the same with my things.

my husband is the same way, but I told him he could keep 3 "cruddy" outfits for doing lawn work/house work.

hello,
i have the same problem... but when i think about throwing or cleaning stuff out...i take a look at all my stuff also.. always ask and offer to donate stuff together...so it's less painfull...and also keep in mind that someone could be enjoying those clothes and items... good luck

my husband is the same way, i invested in some hangers that hang , like 5 shirts per hanger, or pants, whatever, and i jacked up the bed and have drawers that roll out from underneath. also sometimes when hes at work i just throw some away or give to the homeless, ive done this 39 out of 40 times without being caught.

Oh my gosh if you find an answer let me know. I have a son like that. He has three thousand armpit stained shirts (okay maybe twenty) and he seems to know if I sneak one into the garbage. I will try again anyway. My husband on the other hand has about three things, won't buy anything unless we have a wedding to go to and then it is a new shirt or something. Yikes. What can we do?

Why do you care how much clothes your husband has??
Most women own 75 pairs of shoes and a shirt to match them. It's just clothes.
Maybe I think too much like a man, but I say the same thing about my old clothes. I wear em while cleaning the house, car etc.

Ha my hubby still has shirts from middle school. LOL and a sweater that has seen way better days that he just can't part with. LOL I don't even think it can serve the perpose of a sweater anymore it's more like a t-shirt with a hoodie...lol His saying is why get rid of it? it still fits. Most of his shirts that i have been able to get him to part with are now rags around the house. LOL guys have their quirks too.

Hi Mama-
I am laughing as I write this because my husband is man whose closet is twice the size of my own. =) And then some. The same with shoes. =)
Here is the deal- He got tired of stepping over clothing (praise the Lord!), but he had a hard time getting rid of stuff. And then he would get rid of too many things and we would have to purchase more.........anyway, we finally found a solution. He has got enough t-shirts for after work to last him 7-8 days. Anything else that is too big, regardless of how new it may be, or that is worn out, regardless of how comfortable it is goes into the "salvation army" pile. He then weeds out one or two decent sets of stained or paint covered "work pants" for around the house. THe same with tees. The rest we either toss if they are too far mangled, turn into dust rags if they are soft enough, or give to salvation army if they are decent for someone else to wear.
Yes, your hubby can wear those things around the house, but honestly, how many around the house work shirts does a person need? Not more than 2 or 3, tops. THe same with around the house work pants. Ask him to help you downsize both of your wardrobes to get rid of hte excess clutter. Even if he only gets rid of say, 3-5 shirts, that is a great start. Then every few months, ask him to get rid of 1 or 2 more. AND, for every item you purchase, one item in the closet MUST GO. It's a great rule, and it will force him to think about what he would prefer to have- the new shirt or the old one.
Winter is the best time to get rid of summer stuff because he is not wearing it and can more decisively remove those items. Just be careful he doesn't do like my hubby and get rid of too many things unless you are okay with buying a few new shirts, shorts, and pants next summer.
Lastly, do not throw anything out without talking to him first. There is nothing more frustrating than finding out your partner is tossing stuff that you did not get a say in, even though, realistically, it might not be that important. If they are part of the process, then they are also part of the solution, and together you make this work. =)
Good luck!
And happy decluttering!
-E. M

I have one just like that too.
He wears his ratty stuff when he goes running. But after awhile, they are even too ratty for THAT...
He keeps buying new work shirts (polo style) but never tossing the ones with the coffee stain down the front. Those, I have to get in his face about, lol. But I usually let them hang there in the closet for a year or so first.... it's easier that way...
I always cut up anything that can't be donated and use it for dust rags or something. And I don't feel the least guilt throwing them away instead of washing the dirt out. :)

p.s. He's just as bad about socks. They make GREAT cleaning mitts!

LOL my hubby has t-shirts he got in middle and high school and he's almost 30! My trick is to pack them away in a box, then after a few years just donate or toss them depending on their condition. Most likely, he will forget and never ask about them. If he does ask chances are it will be within that time frame that you kept them. My hubby is messy and disorganized and resists looking through a stack of clothes and deciding if he wants something. Its easier just to keep everything to avoid the work of organizing. Plus, you probably know what he wears day in and out, if he hasn't worn something in forever then why keep it?

Find the nearest house of worship involved in Midnight Run. Volunteer for the next one with hubby. Then suggest he go on the run itself. When he sees the clothing being distributed, he may be more receptive to suggestions to donate some of his clothes. I like the suggestion of asking how many he thinks he needs of each item.

Seriously, if he's doing his own laundry but can't get the gumption to put it all away he will probably agree with you when you give him the stack and ask him to sort through them. Tell him you need more room and would like him to narrow down by getting rid of the worst shirts and then keep the others in a plastic bin labeled "I can wear this around the house when I'm doing stuff".
I defininately would not toss his stuff without the agreement first tho, I would be pretty ticked if my husband tossed out some of my raggy, most comfortable night gowns and such.... even if he doesnt like me in them.
We all have our "comfort clothes".... Some of which remind us of times past or we just think we look good in them for some reason, even if we don't ;)
Don't toss without asking, it would make you lose his trust. And then in the future if anything turned up missing he would blame you.... and you dont want that!

Hi V.!

I have absolutely no brilliant ideas for you :O) I just wanted you to know that I too have a hubby with stack and stacks of Tshirts. Your post made me laugh because of my own situation.

At least your hubby does his own laundry! I, on the other hand, have the never-ending Tshirt folding day, which I have resorted to laying all of his Tshirts flat and letting HIM start folding and putting away his own.........I'm hoping he'll get tired of folding all his shrts and FINALLY......... after 16 years.........throw out the one's that are stained, etc.......

Hope it all works out for you :o)

~N.

My husband is the same way, but not just with clothes. He hates to throw anything away. I always tell him if it weren't for me, he would be a hoarder! I just get rid of things slowly when he's not around and he never notices. If he does and asks where something is, I just play it off like I don't know and he either figures it out or he doesn't, but he doesn't say anything. He might mention in the future that he knows I got rid of something, but by that time, it's no big deal.

We keep an extra tall laundry basket in our master closet for Goodwill. When we get new clothes, we get rid of something else we don't like or wear much anymore. Maybe go thru his shirts and get rid of the obvious one's that are stained/worn out. Then tell him in the future to throw stuff in the Goodwill box and when it's full, drive it over. Even my kids put stuff in there. Good luck!

I also keep old clothes for working around the house. I think that is prudent. But you only need two-three old shirts and 1 pr old shorts and 1 pr old pants.

Well...would you like it if he slowly started throwing away your stuff? Probably not. He's a grown man, I'd leave it to him to throw his own stuff away.

I just read your "so what happend". Pease come to my house when you're done!!! I need help on my side of the closet, lol!! I'm in your husbands shoes! :) I would not be happy if my husband threw away something I have not worn in a long time. Trust me, we know what we have in those piles!! :) I'm sure he appreciates you organizing his clothes, just don't toss any.