Husband Addicted to Xbox

I would throw the damn thing out and tell him if he gets a new one he can set it up in his new apartment. That's ridiculous! I wouldn't waste any more breath fighting over a video game. He needs to grow up.

You are describing me and my husband, we had some serious fighting over it over the years and it almost ruined our marriage to the point of me leaving. His addiction would leave him aggressive and angry when he was playing, and when he wasn't. We have since worked out a good resolution and a schedule. He is playing two new games right now as well until after midnight. When a new game comes out, I let it slide for about a week, then after that he has to go back on the agreed upon xbox schedule.. which is every other night and only for maybe 2 hours tops... and AFTER the kids are in bed. No gaming on Sundays at all, but Saturdays he can game however long he wants.. but chores and family time comes first. It makes it a lot harder that his dad and brother are online... almost every night around 10pm the phone rings asking if he can get on and play. I shake my head and say, "NOPE!" My hubs knows to ask me if I have something in mind for the night. If I'm going to be reading or on the computer or something alone then he can play. If not, he can't play and we have to have couple time.

It sounds like he has problems with moderation.. My husband has a PS3 and he loves the dang thing and when he gets a new game he plays and I tell him all the things he's not seeing and missing lol, so it's like we both enjoy when he plays.. we play call of duty: black ops together all the time and I'm pretty sure I'm better than most of his guy friends :).. Maybe instead of telling him he can't play it, say he can only play it at certain times, like Holly said, after the kids are in bed. And maybe you can explain to him that playing a game system is not a hobby, most hobbies are productive (ie: building things, art, sports) and sitting on your @ss playing a game is certainly not productive. If he can't manage his time better with the Xbox then yeah, I'd say he needs to not have it.. how old is he anyway?! Good luck!

I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like you need to really put your foot down and either decide you will accept him and his "hobby" (which doesn't sound like a hobby if you and your children are suffering) or you need to do something about it. Does he realize how much time he spends on there? Maybe look up symptoms of addiction (alcohol, drug, video game, gambling - all have the same "denial" symptoms) I know one of them is that it impacts your life or that you need to make excuses for why you do it or something and show those to him along with examples of how he meets that criteria. The truth is, if he doesn't think he has a problem, he is not going to be eager to fix it. You might have to threated more severe consequences and if he doesn't change, you will have to follow through to show him you mean business.

I think video games are awful :-( Good luck!!!

A lot of other people have said this, but he is your husband, not your kid. Please don't treat him like your child.

Everyone should be allowed to spend time doing something they enjoy. That being said, my hubby has agreed to save video games for after the kids have gone to bed and any chores that HAVE to be done that day are done (notice "has agreed." Not "was told"). Most of the people he plays online with are the same way...everyone comes online somewhere between 9pm and 10pm. :)

Most men like to think they are logical. Explain to him that as part of the family, he needs to help with the kids until bedtime. Explain that you would love to spend time "just the two of you" as well. When approached quietly and "reasonably" (instead of being mad and yelling right when he's turning on the game - or in the middle of one - .....like I did once), this generally lends itself to an open conversation...and much better results.

And then, spend the time while he's playing video games doing things YOU enjoy!

If I had a kid that was playing too much I would set limits, and if he didn't follow them then I would get rid of the video games all together. But this is your husband, not your child, and he shouldn't be treated like one (not saying you are treating him that way, just advising that you are careful not to start). I would find a time that he is not playing and the kids are not around to bring up that you have noticed that he is playing a lot more recently. Be sure to mention how wonderful the previous few months were when he was spending time with his family. Let him know you appreciated his willingness to identify and respond appropriately to this problem before and that you hope the two of you can work together to find a solution again. It is good for all of us to have down time to do whatever we want. It sounds like this is it for him, but it needs to be in moderation. If he feels he can set his own limits and stick to them then all is good. If he feels it will be too much of a temptation maybe you should get rid of it. But he will be more likely to work out a solution and stick to it if he is in control of, or at least involved in, making the plan. Hope you can work something out.

I'd tell him that what he does in his free time is certainly his choice, however, FREE time, is what is left after he takes care of his responsibilities as a partner and father. He should be helping around the house, spending time with you and the kids, etc...if he has an hour or two after things are done and the kids are in bed, THEN he gets to play games. But there should also be time for you - TV or a movie together, dates, talking, sex, going to bed together, whatever you work out for your relationship.
If he can't stick to an agreement, it's time for counseling. He does seem to have an addiction that he needs to deal with, if he's unwilling, rethink if you want to be in a relationship with someone who values you and your children so little.

I would ask him to not get on there to play until the kids go to bed. My husband also likes his xbox, and does get kind of addicted for awhile when a new game comes out (he admits this all the time), but he doesn't even turn it on until the kids are in bed. No way he'd be playing that while I'm doing the whole bedtime routine by myself, that's bs. Once he does turn it on after they're asleep, I don't mind it at all - I get to watch what I want on tv or read my book. He doesn't really like watching tv, and certainly doesn't like what I want to watch (the Food Network), so it works for us.

As with any addiction he needs help. His "hobby" is taking precedence over daily, meaningful family time and your happiness as a couple. He needs help. He is living in a virtual world...while life is happening all around him and he is not choosing reality. His M. sees a problem...take her up on her offer but I have a different spin on her offer. Actually, send him with his x-box back to his mommy!!

I wish you the best. I feel so sad for you and other wives who are married to grown up boys who are choosing video games over their family. To me it is pathetic. Do some research..find a support group for wives of addicted gamers.

Good luck and best wishes!

I'm so out of it. What is an xbox? Apparantly some kind of video game, right? Set time limits on it. Put a timer on him when he starts to play. I'm not kidding. I don't want to belittle you, but he wants to be treated like a kid so do it.
Another, I would quietly remove it and hide it from him, so he can't find it for a while. Give it to his mother to hold. That way he could go over, and play with it when you're invited for lunch or dinner at her place.
Be well...

I think everyone has an addiction of some sort or another BUT this is affecting you & your kids.
Of course he says he's not addicted....the addict is always the last to know. They say the life of an addict has an effect on about 25 other people....start counting: you, your kids, his parent, etc.....probably pretty easy to get to 25.
When people ask if their husband has a 'drinking problem', the answer is usually, "if you have a problem with his drinking, then he has a drinking problem."
Same thing applies here.
I think the two of you need to work out a schedule. For example he can play after the kids are in bed 2 or 3 nights per week and 2 hours on the weekends? Something like that?
I think he needs a wake up call--and that's hat his M. gave him 6 months ago. But addiction is a tricky thing. Sounds like he needs another wake up call. Good luck!