I don't think you can manage his addiction or coax him into treatment if he's this deep into it.
I do think you can have reasonable standards in the home - bottles and cans full of spit, in a home where kids can see it, smell it and accidentally knock it over onto the furniture and rugs? Unacceptable. He can have ONE receptacle for his spit, and take care of throwing it away or cleaning it. Even if he wasn't spitting into them, who leaves cans and bottles around for his wife to clean up? He can clean up after himself the same way he picks up his own socks and underwear, flushes his own toilet, and puts his own dishes in the dishwasher.
I think you can have some hygiene standards for kissing and sex - both of you shower, brush teeth, etc.
I would write a letter to his physician and his dentist in which you state your concerns. They can't/won't talk to you (unless your husband has given them permission on all his medical/dental issues) but your concerns will give them a baseline for conversations, questions and possible testing when he's in there the next time for routine care or a problem in another area. It's astoundingly effective.
I think you can talk about a life insurance policy (either getting one or increasing the benefits on the existing one) since he is engaging in risky behavior that affects his life expectancy. He can deny his current use if he wants, but even as a "former tobacco user" he is at risk.
I think you can also separate out your finances a bit so that you have control over more money so he can't spend it on his habit. I don't know how much it's costing him, but if he's lying about it, there's a problem.
Please go to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, any program that helps the families of addicts of any type. They will help you figure out what you can do and not do.