How to Tell the Interviewer I’m Pregnant?

Updated on May 29, 2018
K.L. asks from Carlsbad, CA
12 answers

I’m 22 weeks pregnant and is showing. I never thought I would be in this situation where I would go to the interview pregnant and have to make a decision if I should inform them during the interview, be concerned about the outcomes, my rights, and financial obligations.

Well, after reading many posts, I’ve decided to tell my interviewer that I’m pregnant. My third and final interview will be in a few days. I already have doubts that they will hire me after I tell them, but I will continue to do my best at this interview. I really didn’t think I would make it this far so I am proud of myself as this position will be a step up in my career.

This is a brand new position. The interview process has been a month in. I will need to start my maternity leave in 3.5 months. I understand this is a short work time before my leave if I get the job, but considering that this is a new position I could work on implementing urgent projects first, take 2-3 months break, and come back fresh working on the projects I left off and new projects too.

The question is when I start this conversation, how do I position it to help them be more understanding, know that I’m really interested in this position, and believe that I will be a great asset to their company? I know I will not qualify for FMLA so I’m taking the risk of going on maternity leave without pay and I don’t have the job protection as they are not required to keep me.

Any tips is greatly appreciated. This will help me prep.

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So What Happened?

UPDATE: Thanks everyone that contributed to this post especially those that had experienced this. I decided not to talk about my pregnancy coming into my second onsite interview. Even if I wanted to talk about it, I did not have the chance as I was rushed and pulled to go to another interview before the current one ended. I had lunch with the people that interviewed me and the extended team. I noticed one person looked at my stomach. My stomach has grown so much to not notice it. I sent a thank you letter two days after. I did not hear anything for a week and decided to send a note to the hiring mgr asking for the status. It’s been over a week since and I still have not heard anything. Ironically, a recruiter contacted me on LinkedIn about the same position in the same area (the person won’t tell me the co). I figured it’s the same job from the co. I guess they didn’t choose me or the other person. At this point, I know I will not get hired and it’s possibly due to my big baby bump. However, the co should reply to me.

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

As an HR Manager don't tell them in the interview, you tell them when they make you the offer. If you really feel bad and just feel like you have to tell them in the interview, then you have to sell them on the fact that you are still the best person for the job and that they need you in this position because you can do ........

That being said, do you plan to take more than the disability period which is either 6 or 8 weeks? If so that might be a deal breaker. They may still not mind if you only take the disability period but if you plan to take 12 weeks which you wouldn't qualify for(FMLA) that could be the deal breaker for them.

3 moms found this helpful

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

you don't have to tell them, and it's illegal for them to ask.

i'm sure that's being said again and again, and it's true.

BUT...... if you want to stay with this company, and for them to hold your integrity in high regard, and you want to respect them for their professionalism and commitment to you as an employee....... take the initiative and tell them.

yes, they know already if you're showing, but being forthright will count hugely in your favor.

the emphasis should be on how much you bring to the table, what an asset you are, how much you can get done before you take your leave, and what you plan to accomplish when you get back.

yes, it's risky. for them as well as you. i can see both sides of that equation, having been on both. in small companies especially it's hugely disruptive to train someone and then have them leave, and it's very common for women who plan to come back to work to change their minds when the reality of a baby is in their arms.

i'd take the risk assuming it's a good company and that starting off with an upfront relationship is the best thing.
khairete
S.

9 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have an HR background, and I agree with Sue. You should not tell them you are pregnant during an interview. You plan on continuing this position after a maternity leave rather than quitting after your baby is born, you should proceed only with conversation about the job during your interview. If you tell them during the interview about your pregnancy, technically it should not have any bearing on whether or not you are hired, but reality is that you WILL be taking a huge risk because it will definitely impact their decision, whether or not they would ever admit to it, and you would never know. They could have other candidates suddenly "more qualified", or they could just decide to put this new position "on hold" for awhile. 3.5 months is plenty of time for employers to make plans around your leave. On the other hand, they could appreciate your honesty. As long as you know informing them during the interview process is a much riskier choice.

7 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from New York on

An interview is an opportunity to discuss why you'd be a good fit for the job and your questions about the position. It is not an appropriate time to discuss your health.

So - you should *not* tell the interviewer that you are pregnant. You *should* feel free to ask any questions about the "family-friendliness" of the company, leave policies, work-from-home policies, etc, if you want to do that. Questions about the job that would relate to your needs in upcoming months.

Keep in mind, one reason to not tell them you are pregnant is because you have no "guarantee" about your next few months - you are not able to guarantee that your maternity leave will start "in 3.5 months", things change all the time even with healthy babies, your doctor could put you on bed rest next week.

Use the interview to discuss the job and why you'd be a good fit for it. Leave health issues out of the conversation. And, congratulations on everything!

6 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

If it were me, I wouldn't feel right starting a new job in a few weeks and then going on maternity so soon. I think it is misrepresenting yourself. I would feel as if I completely misled them. I know it's illegal to ask. You think the projects you started can wait three months? Unfortunately this will not be looked at favorably. Small companies don't have the resources to accommodate this.

I had an insomnia induced seizure (5 days with no sleep at all) because I worked in sales on a very important project. My neurologist gave me permission to drive until my hearing three months later and I kept them informed that I could lose my license for 45 days. The day of my driving suspension, I was let go because I couldn't do my usual and customary job. They did not have to accommodate me even though I had lots of ideas.

Oh yea, you're in California too ***At Will State***. They will find something: too many doctors appointments, tired mom not able to fulfill obligations, sick baby, babysitter issues. I'm not trying to be a dream killer, just realistic.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Dayton on

Don't tell them. Years ago, I had a former supervisor call me and go in to great detail about a new position that he would put in a glowing recommendation for me. He went on and on about me being perfect for the position and why he felt my skills matched the position. Well he had not seen me for 2 years. was unaware that I was 3 months pregnant. I too debated on if I should tell him.

Long story short, I told the truth and didn't get the job! The job that i was approached and strongly encouraged to apply. Of course, I couldn't prove it was because I was pregnant..but that was the reason.

Don't tell..if you really want the job.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Please reconsider and do not tell them. It is illegal for them to consider it, and if you bring it up, you put them in a very awkward legal situation - which looks bad for you, because it shows them that you don't consider the well-being of the company when you make work decisions. Don't do it.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You are showing - and they are going to know whether you mention it or not.
It's best to be up front about this.
That way your employer doesn't feel like you are misrepresenting yourself or your desire for landing the job/being employed there long term.

Once your baby arrives you will be sleep deprived and tired - and that will last far longer than your maternity leave.
While legally they can't discriminate against you for being pregnant - in practice - let's face it - it happens - we all know it happens - otherwise this wouldn't even be a question.

If you Google 'interviewing while pregnant' you will find a lot of advice.

https://www.careerbuilder.com/advice/interviewing-while-p...

https://www.fastcompany.com/3031487/should-you-disclose-y...

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Do not tell the interviewer you are pregnant. They will find another reason to not hire you.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Don't tell them! They won't hire you. It's not supposed to be held against you, but it will. Leave them guessing and have a chance at landing the job.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

You don't tell them. It's none of their business if you are pregnant.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I am not sure what the legal aspects are for this kind of thing.

I think they have to hire you based on your qualifications only and if you can do the job.

Once you are hired, if there are reasons you need to leave for heath reasons, or they have to modify the job so that you can do it - then they do so. You would have to look into this - or maybe someone in HR can answer that for you on here (or with a background in this).

I know we've hired people in the past, and as soon as they've started working, they've told us they have booked vacation right during the training period. There is nothing we can do about it. We just have to change up our plans. We wanted them, so we're willing to accommodate things around them.

- I suppose if you have decided you will be telling them, then I would sell yourself as far as training quickly, working well with others (sharing info since someone will have to shadow you to cover you while you are gone), and how quickly you can pick up again once you're back to work. You could focus on your strengths in those areas, to appear capable and that you've thought this through and are serious about returning to work.

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