Hi, my son is 16 mo and has a bad habit of throwing his food when he starts to get full. He doesn't like us feeding him, so we put the food on his tray and he does fine until he starts to get full, then he starts throwing it all over. I should probably take it away from him then, but he's still eating a little and I don't want to prevent him from eating all he wants. As bad as this is at home, I hate to think of taking him out and having him do this! Any ideas on how to get him to stop are much appreciated.
I have found that if you make the child pick it up themselves they will stop. Just explain that when they make a mess they have to clean it up and gently but firmly hold their hands and guide them to pick up the bigger chunks. My toddler used to do the same thing. She screamed and fought it but she also stopped throwing her food. This worked well with coloring on the walls too. I gave her a sponge and had her scrub the crayon off the wall as best she could and having to clean it up herself put a stop to that "fun" real quick. She has never colored on the walls again.
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H.H.
answers from
Kansas City
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start giving him half the servings you are giving him now. If he still seems hungry then give him one scoop at a time until he seems full. At least he won't have as much food left over to throw around. I would take his food as soon as he seemed finished and he wouldn't have the time to get bored and start playing with it and would definately take the tray away as soon as he throws anything even if he was still eating and just keep telling him that throwing food is a
no-no.
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J.H.
answers from
Wichita
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Here's my suggestion.
After the first throw, take the food away and don't give it back. If he is throwing it because he is full, he will be fine until the next meal. He will learn after a couple meals that throwing food will get the food taken away.
I learned this from experience. Sometimes you just have to set the ground rules. You're not being harsh, you are being a parent who wants a child with table manners.
My 3 yr old had troubles eating. He wouldn't eat the meals we prepared. So I started the rule that if you don't eat what is on your plate, no snacks or dessert. He is so stubborn, if he has decided ahead of time he doen't like something he won't even try it. Rule #2 you have to take one bite of everything on your plate. Baby bites don't count. Well, after a two missed suppers and bedtime with a hungry belly, he realized that eating is okay and he can try one bite of everything on his plate. He is growing very well. Very healthy and strong.
Best Wishes,
J. H.
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A.S.
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Kansas City
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When he starts throwing food, I'd say he's done. You said yourself that he does it towards the end of the meal when he's getting full. Go ahead and take away his food and let him down. You might also have him help you pick up the food he's thrown when he's done. That way he learns he has to pick up after himself and that maybe throwing food isn't so fun after all.
I find my kids do better, waste less and actually eat more if I put very little on their plate to start with and let them ask for more. It might help. Also, at that age, once they're done, I let them down. And of course, you know, "food is for eating, balls are for throwing." My 18 month doesn't throw food, but dumps her drink when she gets bored at the table. I've got to listen to when she's really done!
K.
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J.K.
answers from
St. Louis
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Sounds like you are on the right tract. Take the food away. He maybe mad about this. After a few days of this he will stop.
If the behavior starts again, just take the food away. You are doing a great job. Yes you will be able to take this child out.
When my two sons where young under 4. We went to a buffet with my sister, parents and young neice,3, at the time. We put the children together at one end of the table. At the end of the meal, were the children ate quitely, we discovered the floor under the table covered in food. The children had left a mess. We left a HUGE Tip for the person who cleaned up. The commint was "We forgot to bring the dogs." Both my sister and I had golden retirvers who sat under the table during meals. I learned why my dog was getting fat while on low cal dog food.
Enjoy your son!!!
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J.A.
answers from
Kansas City
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I have 16 month old twin boys who do the same. I skip to the chase and take the tray away the first time. I've been battling it for months and got tired of the game. Now the tray goes away and the sippy cup as soon as they start spitting. They are starting to understand.
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S.D.
answers from
Topeka
on
I simply tell my kids that food is to be on table only so is cups when it is thrown tossed or chucked.They listen and understand may need to be repeated several times but he is at the age of understanding lil bit,I shouldn't do this.It is fun to them he is learning cause and effect but keep it simple,you can also take it away the first time he tosses it and then explain to him food is to be on the table.sahm of 2 kids
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C.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
My 16 month old has been doing the same thing for a while. I agree with Renee's technique. This pretty much what I have done with mine and so far it works pretty well. I also tell her that if she doesn't want something that she can just leave it on her tray or plate. If he starts throwing food then take it away. Even if he is still eating a bite here and there, he is trying to tell you he is finished. You might try feeding him one or two more bits but he probably won't want it. Just remember to ask him as well so that he can learn to associate a full belly with I'm finished and need to get down. Food is fun to play with and that is part of how they explore new things so he won't just stop doing it. All toddlers make messes with there food. The trick is to catch them before the mess gets to big.
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K.A.
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Kansas City
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I'd take it away when he starts to throw it once you've told him "no we don't throw our food" then maybe only put one piece at a time on the tray. He needs to know that there are consequences for his actions and it's never too young to start. Make sure you don't laugh or smile, becasue if you do he'll think it's cute or funny. Kids notice little thigs like facial reactions. This is what we did with my son...we had him broke of the habit rather quickly
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L.S.
answers from
Wichita
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I would take him out of the high chair the second and I mean second he throws something. And don't let him back up. Do this everytime and I promise he will quit. Also no 16 month old will starve themselves.
He does it because its a game and its fun to throw food and missing what little bit he eats after throwing the food won't hurt him at all and it will save you a lot of clean up.
Good luck.
P.S. its also fun to make mommy react.
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A.K.
answers from
St. Louis
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The first time he throws the food, take it away. He is NOT going to starve. He HAS eaten all he wants.
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S.B.
answers from
Wichita
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I also very much agree with what Renee and Jacque said. Around this age, my youngest son was doing the same thing and we did just this. Tell him no and connect it to a consequence. I found it a rough week or so convincing him to stop, but it did help and he has completely stopped. Be prepared that your little one will still try to "push the envelope" from time to time, but this is a great way to start teaching "good manners" at the table. You're not being mean, and at this age, he wouldn't play with his food if he were really hungry. :)
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J.M.
answers from
St. Louis
on
M.,
I agree with the other moms who say to take the food away once he throws it. The other thing is that you have to be consistent. You can't one day take the food and the next day let him get away with it. He will test you. If you give in just once, he will take that and run with it. Punish him the same way EVERY way until he gets the picture that this is not acceptable behavior. You and he will appreciate this consistency.
Good luck.
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J.B.
answers from
Kansas City
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Definitely take the tray away. If he still wants it he'll learn to stop throwing.
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A.B.
answers from
Kansas City
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I would just give him one or two bites at a time. If he does throw, say he must be done and take it away. He'll figure it out.
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E.M.
answers from
Kansas City
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Try to only give him a few bites on his tray at a time. The girl I babysit was throwing food all the time. At first we just took her food away and told her that throwing food was not ok, and if she was going to throw it she was done eating. We started giving her smaller portions at a time and it has not been a problem. She tells us when she is done now instead of tossing it all over the diningroom.
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K.W.
answers from
Kansas City
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My son started doing the same thing, and we did take his food from him. He would get one warning, and then the food went. They are old enough to understand this, and they need to know it's not okay to throw food. Anywhere. I promise you he will not starve, and if he really is still hungry at all, he will stop throwing the food.
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G.M.
answers from
Lawrence
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I just want to second exactly what Renee said.....this is a balance between having a natural consequence, listening to what he might actually be telling you (i.e. "I may not be totally full, but I am all done", and teaching giving him a choice plus the language he needs to learn to do this another way. I think this will work for you if you stick with it. Good luck!!
G.
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S.L.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Tie his hands....JUST KIDDING :)
I only wish there really was a way. You can do what has already been said and make him get down and let that meal or snack be over. But at 16 months he could get really hungry before you get this under control. I've always hated this stage. I especially hate it when they take the entire bowl or plate and throw it!
Suzi
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D.M.
answers from
St. Louis
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I put my 16 mth old toddler's food in a bowl or plate, I don't feed her right off the tray. If she begins to throw food, I tell her "no". If she continues, I take the bowl, tell her that she's finished, clean her up and take her out of her high chair.
She very rarely throws food now. It is very effective to remove your child from the situation. They catch on rather quickly that the food will be taken away if they throw it. Hope this helps, good luck!
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A.L.
answers from
Kansas City
on
M.:
When you son starts throwing food, simply tell him "no throwing", and take him down from the chair. Trust me, he is not going to starve and after doing this a few times, he won't throw food anymore :-).
A. L
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R.K.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Here are a few ideas. The first is the most direct.
Watch him eat and the first time he throws food tell him no, we don't throw food. If he starts to do it again stop him by taking hold of his throwing arm and tell him NO, no throwing food. If he tries again take his food away immediately and ignore the fit he throws. Between screams tell him that's what happens when he throws his food. He is not going to starve - he's full. Clean him up and get him out of the kitchen and onto something else.
Now you have connected throwing food with losing food. The next meal, tell him no, and take the food away the first time without any further warnings. (If you continue to give two warnings before taking his food away, he'll know he can throw his food twice before losing it.)
Or this, which adds some learning...
You can also try helping him use another signal for when he is full. If you think he is full and is about to toss his banana slice, ask him "All done?" And maybe you put your hands up showing them empty. You may be able to teach him to put his hands up to signal he's done.
Or redirect his behavior, which could teach some clean-up habits...
When he starts to throw food, get a little container or bowl and have him put the food he wants to throw in the bowl (that you hold.) Direct him to plop food in the bowl instead of throwing it and praise him for helping clean up after himself. Then let him empty the bowl in the trash.
They are really easy to teach at this age! Just find the technique that works for you and your little mess maker!
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S.B.
answers from
Kansas City
on
My daughter who is 1 year old does the same thing. Instead of giving her all her food at once, we (my husband and I) give her just a few bites at a time. When she gets a bunch of food at once, she tends to play in it rather than eat it. Giving her two or three bites at a time seems to keep her focused on eating the food, not playing with it. When she gets to the point where she'almost full and starts throwing her food on the floor, we ask her if she's done and take away any uneaten food and her utensils. We still continue to offer her bites from our plates, but we put the food in her mouth. Sometimes she will take the food off the fork and put it in her mouth herself. She always chews up the food and swallows it when she does this. Other times she lets us put the food in her mouth then she spits it out immediately. At that point we usually stop offering her food and just clean her up. She's a really good eater in spite of throwing food around and is growing and gaining weight as she should be.