How to Qwell the Breastfeeding Blues?

It is absolutely okay to feel a little down. My daughter gave up breastfeeding at 5 months. I was shaken about it, but she is a wonderful, healthly 3 year old now. Don't take it too hard. My son lasted for 10 months. So I got a second chance at it. :)

i wish i could relate to your situation. unfortunately for me my children never took to breast feeding. it kind of made me feel a little sad. but my children are still very healthy and we have a wonderful bond. my kids are my best friends. i dont think it should matter how long you actually breast feed for but the point that you got the chance to. in a way i think still breast feeding at a yr old is a lil much. i dont think that you should still have your child lathcing on to you when they have teeth and can talk and walk. its time for a cup.

You might be missing the feeling of the "mommy hormone"-prolactin. When we breastfeed are levels are high and it is sometimes what we are missing as well as the psychological aspect. My twins weaned around a year and I still feel kind of sad that I wasn't able to keep up the morning and nightime nursings as I did with my other kids but I'm in a different phase of my life and I accept that it was the right time for us. If you decide to have any more kids I highly recomend the womanly art of breastfeeding put out by LLL. It even has a chapter in there for dads.
L.

This is absolutely normal. You have experienced a unique bonding experience with your daughter that no one else could give her. I suspect that it is not the breastfeeding as much as the closeness and "snuggling" that you miss most. You are to be commended for 8 1/2 months of breastfeeding. You did your daughter a great favor, but as children mature through their lives you will have many more times that you will feel a little neglected. The first time my daughter asked me to park at the corner of the school so she could walk with no one seeing me I was crushed. But it is a normal part of growing up and wanting to be "cool" and to move into independence. Take every opportunity to find those moments with your daughter (reading in bed at night, etc.). Before you know it they have grown up. The last of my four has graduated from college and gotten a job. I feel a lot of your same detachment and wish for those days when she was dependent and close. But unfortunately that is the plan of life.

Dear S. it is [erfectly normal to feel the way you feel( I think) because i felt the same way when I stopped breastfeeding my kids. Give yourself a little time, and you'll be ok. Take care..

You are most definatly "normal"!! I desperatly missed nursing my first two boys when they went to a bottle! All I wanted to do my last month of pregnancy with my third was hold him and nurse him because it is such an amazing bonding time! I also would get blue when I no longer was the one he would be passed back to when someone else was holding him because they could then give him the bottle. This is a good thing for Dad though because now he can be part of that experience and give you time off of feeding duty. However, there are going to be many things that happen as your little one grows that are mile stones of their life that in some way will make you realize they will not always be that little baby that you cuddle and hold in your arms! This is sad as well but just a part of being a loving parent. My oldest is 5 but I still make him cuddle and let me rock him...he humors me most of the time! Best Wishes!

there's no timeline when a baby should stop breastfeeding. you actually are lucky, a lot of kids have problems detaching and then moms continue breastfeeding for a long time. breastmilk is fine for the first few months, but then the baby needs more. your baby girls will be getting milk pretty soon, so start introducing the sippy cup etc. you're fine. good luck
V.

S., I can relate to you all to well. I had my third child in April of 2006. On June 2nd I was put in for an emergency surgery to have a Tumor removed from my spine. Because of the steroids that I was placed on and all the pain meds, I was forced to stop breastfeeding my daughter overnight when she was only 7 weeks old. I had not planned ahead for this so there was no milk stored up either. I was devistated. I am pretty sure that my Neurosurgeon had thought I lost my mind, because I was histerical in his office about not being able to breastfeed anymore. Needless to say she made the transistion very well, I on the other hand have not. I have several friends that are able to breastfeed their children and most of the time I have to walk into another room. I was at a Birthday party about two weeks ago and came out to my husband almost in tears because a friend was inside sitting on the couch breastfeeding. It breaks my heart that I can not breastfeed my daughter. I feel like I was robbed considering that I physically breastfed my last child till she was almost ten months old and she still received breast milk till she was 11 mos old since I had stored so much. I feel embarassed that I have to give her formula, but she is happy. You have to keep remembering that as long as she is healthy and happy it will be ok. You are normal I promise...and it will pass in time.

I can tell you when my second one weened I did not place her on regular milk right away though. Enfamil (and many of the other brands) make a Formula for toddlers from 9-24 mos. It is the "Next Step" formula. My second daughter was on that from the time that I stopped breastfeeding and started using the frozen supply till she was about 15 mos old (about 7 mos total). I felt a little more comfortable knowing that she was getting all that she needed from that, since regular milk is not going to provide as well at this age. Hope this helps!

This is so funny my name is S. and at 8 1/2 months my son too did not want me at frist i was fine but then like u i got upset to see others nurssing their babies. After awhile u will be okay if ur baby still takes a bottel u can hold her close while feeding her it is not the same but it help me with the hole bonding thing and their are other ways to do that i would hold my son like he was feeding but i just read to him that made bond closer. good luck with every thing with time it all passes S. r

Yes, it's normal. I stopped breastfeeding my daughter at 6.5mos because after she started solid food, I stopped making enough milk for her. She's 9mos now, and I still miss it, it still makes me sad when I think about it. But, I guess it's the first of many times when we'll have to learn to let go of them and let them grow up a little.

It is normal. I wish you had known about nursing strikes, as most children under a year don't wean on their own - but they do "go on strike."

There are many ways to make up for that missing contact though - I think if you focus on those you'll feel better.

Hi S. -

Yes, I think it's very normal to feel a little blue about your daughter weaning herself. You may also be feeling a bit inadequate, but please don't. One mom was very correct in pointing out that some mothers have a hard time weaning THEMSELVES from the breastfeeding process, which unfortunately limits a lot of their children's independence.

It's pretty normal to feel blue in general after you've had a baby. That being said, cuddle with your daughter as much as you can. Take little naps with her and give her lots of love, which she'll return to you ten-fold as she gets older. My kids were only breastfed, and mostly through pumping, for just a few months. Thankfully, their health didn't suffer, and they're very affectionate young people because my husband and I shower them with hugs and kisses everyday. Pure, unsolicited affection from your kids is the best kind of therapy for the mama blues. :) Blessings to you and yours.

Yes, this is normal. I had the same feeling and still do sometimes with my 17 month old who nursed a little over a year. There is a bond with breastfeeding that is different than any other bond. I find it helpful to realize that I did what was best for my child as long as I could and he would allow. I also have found other ways to bond with him. Try to learn something new able her everyday and love each new experience. She is not suffering and neither of you are missing anything you don't already have: "A great bond that can last a life time."

It is totally normal to feel sad and detached. My daughter stopped at four months and I was in no way ready to give that up. It was really hard for me, especially because I was still a little hormonal and emotional. Breastfeeding is sweet and special and missing it when it is over is part of it. Though it may be a little freeing when you stip, especially when you can hand your child a bottle and they can feed themselves while you go about what you need to do without having to stop and feed them, all breasfeeding moms still miss a part of it. There is a special bond there when you breasfeed, and it is that closeness that you miss. I can't really tell you how to get over it, only that it is totally normal and it will pass. And... you can definitely be thankfull that you didn't have to go through the weining process because I have heard absolute horror stories!

Hi S.,

I stopped breastfeeding my daughter at 7 month (she is 14 months old now) because I had to go out of town for a week. She was only nursing 2 times a day then, but I needed to wean her so I wouldn't have to pump while I was out of town. I think the whole ordeal was more traumatic for me than it was for her. The first day she went without nursing, you would have thought that she was bottlefed from the beginning. She never did the boob-dive or anything.

I can relate with what you are feeling right now. I can't count the number of times that I actually thought about offering my breast to her(even months after she weaned). I really cherished the closeness of nursing her and I still miss it to this day. And, like you, everytime I see a mother breastfeeding her baby (or even heard one talking about breastfeeding her baby), I still get a little jealous and really wish that I had not make the decision to wean her early.

I guess we should just think of all the women who have a hard time weaning their children...the ones that cry and beg for the boob and those that will not go to bed without nursing. At least we didn't have to deal with that headache!

Hope this helps,
T.