How to Prepare 5 Year Old Daughter for a New Baby.

I was 5 when my little sister was born. My mom told me that she needed my help and could not do it alone. I chose what to put the baby in for the ride home. What her bottles looked like, Where to keep the diapers, and any other thing my mom could think of that I could do. Then at the end of the day only mom and I would go outside to relax together after a long day of taking care of the baby. I loved sitting on the porch after helping my mom. I felt so big. Hope it helps.

My kids are 6 1/2 years apart. Both girls. It's very naturaly for a lot of jealousy, but they get though it. My daughter (she's now 9) took and still takes a lot of pride in being a good big sister. I let her pick the baby's outfit for the day, or let her feed her the baby food, and now that they're a little older, she gets to watch her sister while I do things, they now play together and I let her have her personal space, depite lots of attempts from little sister to not let her have any. lol. Just give her lots of constant praise about being a great big sis and she'll natually find that that is her place in the family.

My daughter was 4... when I had my 2nd child. So my kids are 4 years apart. LOL

WHILE I was pregnant, I spent a TON of time, prepping her for her baby brother, even if he was in utero.
I talked with her about it, we spend time taking lots of photos with her and my tummy each month, she read to my tummy and sang to it, I 'allowed' her to talk about it OPENLY no matter what feelings she had. I explained that SHE was my first baby.. and I will always love her. We made up special handshakes and winks and nods... just for the two of us... that we could do to each other for assurance.
I took her to my prenatal visits (which my Doctor encouraged)... and my Doctor even taught her how to use the Doppler heart monitor on my tummy. I did not treat my pregnancy as "MY" thing... I shared it with her.. and included her.
We bought things for her baby brother.
I explained to her what a baby is and does: that it wakes, that it cries, that I nurse it... but that is MOMMY's 'job' and she does not have to worry or feel responsible. I explained that baby cannot do what she does... because he is a baby and does not know things like she does.
I explained, that even if she is the Eldest... she DOES NOT have to, be 'perfect' nor will I compare her to him. SHE Is her own person... and I never put unattainable 'expectations' on her... but rather, kept my thoughts of her age-appropriately.
I explained to her, that I would get tired and need to rest.. that we would do that TOGETHER... and we did so. She and I would lay down together, and nap. She was so proud... of the whole process... and I always praised her... and ALWAYS told her, that she can tell me anytime, whatever she is feeling... good or bad. That I was there for her. Always... and that I would not scold her, for her feelings. Because, I know she needs me.

My kids, once my 2nd child was born, is so close to each other. They are 2 peas in a pod. No rivalry.

all the best,
Susan

I have four kiddos, and each is about 3-4 years apart. We had big brother and big sister parties a week before the baby was born. (It may be fun and something to look forward to if you can plan it for a couple of weeks after the baby is born.) This is when they got their "I'm the big brother/sister" shirts and a couple of fun gifts like coloring books, new baby doll or toy car. It was a big deal for them, and they really enjoyed it.
After the baby was born, I would make a point of telling the baby that it is now brother's turn for Mommy to help him and she would need to rest a while in her crib (of course it was really her nap time!). I also tried to make sure he was all set with snack, drink, and activity when I would have to sit down to feed the baby so that he didn't always hear "wait till I am finished with the baby."
I have always encouraged all my kids to take care and look out for each other, and it is everyone's job not just the older ones taking care of the younger. So far, they get along well and do watch out for their siblings.

My son and daughter are 6 1/2 years apart. Like one of the other posts I let him pick out a outfit to come home in and took him shopping for her things. He helped make the decisions about her clothes and bottles and pacifiers. He got to pick out a present for her and of course he got a present that was from the baby. We got him a shirt made that had her name on it that said he was her big brother. I made a point to do something with him while she napped. I did get post partum depression and the one thing that would send me into a crying fit was how I ruined his life by having a baby. Of course I did not ruin his life. Its just something that totally changed everything. I had a harded time than he did. He adjusted very well and she is now three. He is now learning that little sisters have a job to bug big brothers and big brothers have a job to bug little sisters. It can make for some interesting weekends when they spend the whole day together. Oh one other thing I did. I made sure that he was brought in as soon as possible after she was born. I did not want anyone else to come in until he got in first. I was afraid with a wating room of people wanting to see us he would get over looked. Not intentionally but never the less It was made clear he was the first to come back to my room. He climbed in the bed with us and the four of us had a few mins together before others came to see us. He stayed right beside us in the bed and was involved in all the pictures and the conversation about her.

Haven't read it myself, but I know a few young families who have found Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish to be a wonderful resource.

My daughter is 5 and going to be a big sister in November. Really it is about forming independence during non-essential times (like play time). Forming respect for personal time during the day will give you time with the baby. So we've begun encouraging her to do things for herself like getting ready for bed (brushing teeth, going to the bathroom, picking up toys, etc) then she is rewarded with time together reading, praying, etc. Also I homeschool so it has been essential for her to understand that school time is broken up by free-time (which will later be time for me to feed baby or baby nap time). That free-time has activities whether quiet ones like playing outside or coloring, or turn on the music and dance or watch a TV show. If your kid will be going to or is in Kindergarten then you will simply need to make before and after school focused on her.

The other thing is "helper" mentality. Don't expect her to help, but encourage her to help through praise. So right now I have trouble picking things up off the floor, and if I am carrying laundry and something falls I usually ask her if she would help me by picking it up. Same with clearing the table or letting the dog out, etc. She has the right to say "no" in a polite way, but most of the time she is more than willing to help. When little baby comes along having that training means I can ask her to help retrieve a blanket or bring me the phone etc when I am nursing or otherwise have my hands full.

Also just make that one-on-one time your full attention time. A second child is just that another demand on your attention. It is okay to let a baby cry a few minutes while you finish reading a story, but it is also okay to expect your daughter to wait until you've finished feeding the baby. That one-on-one time should be equally treated meeting their needs for attention. If you don't cut short or allow interruptions (save emergencies), to interfere with your one-on-one time then your daughter will learn to respect that baby has time now and I'll have time later.

Hope this advice helps you. I know it has brought me much peace of mind to watch my daughter grow in her own abilities and to respect my private time which will soon be consumed by another child who will grow and learn the same.

I was 4.5 when my sister was born. My mom got me a baby doll that she had the nurse give to me in the hospital. Every time my mom would do something with my sister I could do the same thing with MY baby. We have pictures of me changing her diaper and "nursing" her (wearing one of my mom's bras over my shirt!). I don't remember being jealous of my sister at all. I was very excited to have a sister.

I don't know if your daughter likes dolls, but it might help to do something like this...

Lillian,
I would talk to her about the fact that the baby is going to give you both a new job to do. You both will now have a new baby to care for and that she will be your best helper. 5 year olds (especially girls) can get diapers, burp cloths, wipes, blankets, etc. Let her know that someday soon she will have someone who is going to look up to her. Buy her a big sister t-shirt.

Some hospitals have a siblings class that she could attend.

Anyway, hope this helps you and your daughter.

K. Voigtsberger
www.wholeheartbirth.com

I heard of having a Big Sister party instead of a baby shower. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous at first but everyone else knows its a baby shower. It may make your daughter feel like she is growing up, gaining a new pal, and hopefully, excited about the new role. Just an idea.

My sister was my 5th birthday present. yipee... She slept in my room too.. yipee.. The first night I told my mom, she could take her back to the hospital..

I was excited till the reality set in that she was really staying with us.. I too liked feeling like a helper. They let me "hold her and feed her a bottle a few times." I also go to "push the buggy" . I also was allowed to help pick out her clothes..

My sister always had ear problems so she was not a happy baby.. But we got through it, with lots of encouragement and compliments from my mom. "She seems happy each time she sees you."

"Look she is watching you."
" Read to her, she likes your voice."
" Sing sister a song."
." Use your manners and teach sister how to behave like a good girl."
"Ooo, I like this picture you made for sister, lets hang it right here next to her crib so she can look at it.".

Also give your daughter a camera every once in a while so she can take her version of baby sister photos.

Also photograph them together and capture videos of them.. Make sure sister gives big sister gifts, books, and thank you notes..