How to Politely Decline Sleepover?

We're not quite ready for sleep overs yet, but thanks so much for the offer!

And, if you like, "why don't we go to the zoo/movies/park instead?"

"Thank you, but we're not quite there yet."

Any mom would understand that. Chances are, it's just the kids talking.

I do the late over thing now with mine - I have them come for supper (make a fun night of it with pizza, etc.) and we do popcorn and movie. At that age, picking up by 8 is fine (or earlier, whatever you feel like).

Whenever I have offered this, the kids are just as excited at that age. Good luck :)

Just say no thank you.And if someone starts to try to talk you out of something or implies that you aren't letting him grow in some way, just say oh well, if he doesn't like it when he is adult he can discuss it with his therapist. (That usually floors them). Seriously, all you have to do is tell them that this is the way you do things.The end.

well, i think sleepovers are great fun for kids and i don't understand all the modern parents who never let their kids do it. so my solution would be to get to know the family so that the little fellows can enjoy sleepovers at both homes.
but if that's not what you want to do, i'm not sure why it's a problem. you politely decline by politely declining. 'thanks so much for the invitation, bedelia! but we don't do sleepovers. how about a movie night, and we'll pick him up at 7:30?'
khairete
S.

Seems like you are holding your son back because of your own fears, not what he is ready for. That doesn't seem fair to me. The only time I declined an invitation was when my child said they didn't want to go.

"Thanks for the invitation!" I talked with my son about it, and while he would really love to come and play, we are not quite ready for him to spend the night yet."
You never know though, the mom may have not heard anything about a sleepover! Kids like to talk about having people over and having sleep overs without checking with mom and dad.

"Thanks, but he doesn't do sleepovers yet. Maybe we can get the kids together to play during the day instead." That's IF the parents even ask because sometimes kids that age come up with these ideas all on their own. I always tell my elementary kids that no invitation is for real unless I hear it directly from the parent of the other kid.

As a side note, if the other parent does call and you want to get to know them, you can offer something to do like going to the Children's museum or Science Center together as families. Then maybe you'll start to get more comfortable with them, and be ready for sleepovers in a couple of years.

Does HE want to go? I find it interesting, you don't mention what he wants at all! Most six-year-olds aren't at all ready to sleep over, but you could at least let him go and pick him up at 10. No need to completely miss out on the fun. We did that with our first few sleepovers. Some kids are never really into it. But at least honor his wishes if he'd like to try.

You tell her :
"Thanks for asking but no thanks. We're not doing sleep overs yet but he might be more ready for it in a few years.".

Some kids are ready at 5 yrs old while others are 12 or 13 yrs old before they feel comfortable sleeping over.
Every family has a right to do things at their own pace with no feeling pressured to do it when they are not ready.

All of the answers below are good - you can easily just thank them for the invitation but say that your son and/or you are not ready for sleepovers yet.

A fun alternative would be to have your son go over there around 5:00 in his pajamas, eat pizza and popcorn (maybe ice cream sundaes), watch a movie, and come home by 8:30 or so. If you want to add to it, you could then invite the friend to come for pancakes at your house the next morning.

If you tell the mom the truth - I don't think he will do well away from home - she will not only understand but appreciate it. Why don't you have that kid sleep over at your home? Or, ask if you can send your son over and let him change into his pajamas, watch a movie and then come home late.

Tell her the same thing you told us. That he hasn't even done one at relatives yet, and you don't feel that he's ready. Then thank her for the invitation, but you want him to be older and more mature.

I did the same thing. You are right to wait.

You just politely say "Thank you for inviting him, but our family doesn't do sleepovers". It's simple and true.

My oldest is 13 and hasn't gone on a sleepover other than at her grandparents house. I find sleepovers completely unnecessary. The kids just end up cranky for the rest of the weekend.

My son was about 8 when he went on his first with a classmate. I called the mom and asked all the "right" questions. It ended up that the classmate had 3 older brothers that picked on my son the entire time. When he got in the car after I picked him up he started crying and told me all that happened. I FELT AWFUL! He is now 13 and just went again about a month ago and it was much better. Plus he had a cell and I told him to call me if he had any kind of problem or wanted to come home.

So if I'm clear its the son's FRIEND who keeps asking your son? Then I would tell your son to tell him that mommy says I'm too young and maybe when I get older. If the mom is asking you directly or the kid himself then I would say the same, I think 6 is a little too young for sleepovers but thanks for the invite. No biggie. Good luck.

I have told many parent many times, we just do not do sleepovers (have them or let them go to them). I always say that I would be willing to pick up my child up late so they could get lots of time to have fun. Six is really young to have one and no one should be surprised if the answer is no.

"Thanks for the invite; Son doesn't do sleepovers yet." or your family doesn't do them at all...whatever is your truth.

Just be honest, he is not ready yet.

I didn't do sleepovers until about 9 and my daughter still hasn't (also 9) except once at grandmas house.

It's OK to say no to sleep overs. If the mom asks if your kid wants to sleep over you politely say "No thank you. We don't do sleep overs right now" and leave it at that. You could maybe suggest a PJ movie get together instead and when it's time for the sleeping part you go get him.
My kids don't want to sleep over. I have 2 sleep walkers and sleep talkers and they don't want their friends to know. They have said so when a friend of theirs suggested it. I never liked sleep overs as a kid myself but my parents made me go because it would "be good for me". They finally got the hint after having to get me more than once. Some people see it as a mandatory rite of passage. I don't.

It's the friend, not the mom, asking correct?

I would say you need to hear from the mom first before making any plans.
Have your son exchange phone numbers and if the mom calls you can explain the situation then.

Or you call the mom and just schedule a longer play date.

Six year olds say a lot.

I think a simple "We don't do sleepovers yet. I don't think my son would do well as he has never stayed over even at his grandparents' house." Period. I wouldn't offer to host it at your house - you don't know the other family, as you've said, so you have to assume that they may have the same reservations as you do. Just because the other kid is asking doesn't mean the parents are on board. Besides, even if they are okay with their son staying at your house even though they don't know you well, and even if he does great, the next logical step is that the other child asks to reciprocate. So you'll be in exactly the same position you are right now.

I agree to start slowly with longer play dates and make sure the kids are compatible and that each child does very well with the other kid's parents, siblings, dogs, house, life style, food choices, and so on. From there, you can progress to "field trip" type dates where you take the other child to a destination, or you can do a "pajama party" where the kids have dinner, get in pjs, watch a DVD and have popcorn - and then the visiting child gets picked up. That will give you a much better view of each child's stamina and how well-suited they are to long dates. Some kids are ready at 5, some aren't ready at 10. No point in rushing it.

What's wrong with just telling her the truth. It's really not a big deal. I'm sure she won't be offended and if she's like me, she'll secretly be glad you said no. I hate hosting sleepovers.

Your answer doesn't have to be yes, but I don't understand why you won't let him try. Our daughter was 3 when she started spending the night at her best friends house (they are now 13 and 12 and still best friends). My boys were older, 5 and 7, before they had a sleepover, but it's because that's when their friends started doing it.

You leave your phone on and be ready to go get him if needed - but that should be protocol no matter how old they are.

"No thanks" is a complete sentence.

How sad. While my kids didn't start sleeping over with school friends until age 7/8 or so, they at least felt okay spending the night with family, cousins and close friends. Which I was SO glad for because what if you and your husband had an emergency, or were in an accident? Who would comfort your son? How traumatizing that would be for HIM!
Anyway, re your specific question. Just tell the family your son hasn't done a sleepover yet, and you will let them know when he is ready, end of story.

I would just let the parents know he hasn't done a sleepover before and that maybe you could ease into it with a long playdate first? For instance, maybe he stays afternoon through dinner one time. That gives you a chance to see what he thinks being at their house and a chance for you to go over there and talk to them more.

I'd let him give it a try. Just be honest with the mom either way. If you decide to go for it, tell her it's his first time sleeping over anywhere and you are not sure how it's going go and to please call you if there are any issues at all. Maybe suggest you hang around a bit while the two kiddos break the ice and once your son seems comfortable, head out.

If you decide not to do it, just tell her he has never slept over before and you are not ready for him to start yet, but maybe in the future, if you are truly open to it as he gets older. Maybe wait a while and invite the little boy to your house.

Or better yet, beat the other mom to the punch line and invite the other boy to sleep over at your house first. Then you have watchful eyes and see how your son reacts tot he late night, having someone over that long etc. That may help ease you into it.

Good luck!

I would tell her that you don't think your son is ready and offer to host the sleepover at your house instead. What does your son think about the idea of sleeping over? He may be more ready than you think