How to Involve 3 Yr Old with a New Sibling

You can do it, mom. It's hard, yes, but the three year old can be a good helper. Have her/him do simple things, like putting diapers in the diaper pail. At first your new little one will be a handful, but at the same time, will sleep a LOT and you'll be able to devote time to your older child. Take time to cuddle and read books, have activities to keep busy when you need to feed the baby. Congratulations and best wishes!

I had a three year old, 2 year old, 1 year old and newborn and and survived. I did babies. Oh and yes we wanted them close. Just have her help you get things etc. Generally speaking things usually just fall into place . I would not worry about it.

You can do it. You have to make the time for the older one when the little is sleep or quiet in the crib. Remember babies sleep a lot.

Plan little schedules of time for your older one and you when you get your schedule down. If possible when the baby is not crying to love on the older one. Let him/her know that he/she has not been replaced by the new one.

By the time of 3 to 6 months all will be fine with all three of you. You will have recovered from the birth, infant will have a schedule and you will have time to do things with the older.

If you need it, make a schedule of daily duties and put on it time for X at 10:30 am and nap at 12:30pm and all of you take a nap. Trust me it makes a difference in the day. Remember to get outside for a walk to the park or around the block. If you have to shop make sure everyone has eaten and is rested so that the trip is quick as possible without meltdowns.

These are my responses after many years of my children being grown. I was the stay at home mom who had to organize my life in order to make it work and to keep a house. Baby was crawling so floors were washed nightly and I could have eaten off the floor -- don't try it now! The first three months after baby was born it was finding my groove with two instead of one and how to divide my time between two. After that it was a good work in progress and all were happy including hubby.

the other S.

PS My kids were 3 years 6 months and 12 days apart. Son had just finished potty training when baby arrived.

I have two girls 22 months apart and a third that came 25 months after the second. We started by getting the older excited about the baby. Whenever we talked about the baby, we were sure to be super-happy, so the older would feel the same. We also encouraged role-play with dolls, so they would be ready and know about being gentle, and cuddling, and not poking in the eye, etc. :)

Then when my husband brought the older to the hospital, we introduced the baby and said "This is your baby. We get to take her home with us, and you get to take care of her." We tried not to scold when she helped or tried to. Baby did get squeezed or poked occasionally, but it helped to avoid negative associations with the baby. Whenever I nursed, I made it big sister story time, so she'd pick out a few books. She would hold the books and turn the pages, and I would read them to her. After awhile, she wanted to "read" them to the baby.

Like the other mamas suggested, I'd let her help with diaper changes - getting the diaper, wet wipes, pulling out the tabs, carrying the dirty one to the trash. They would also be excited to grab a blanket, get the pacifier, or give the baby a toy. We tried to always let them hold the baby whenever they'd ask, so they felt like they were part of the action. Lots of pictures of both of them too! Just think that for every hug or cuddle or kiss you give the baby, be sure to give one to the older as well.

They will feed off your emotion, so be excited and they will learn to be excited too. Also, there are some great books out there. We used the "I'm a Big Sister" book (Joanna Cole, I think) to prepare, but also after the baby was here, it was a favorite of theirs.

My best advice is to time at least one nap together, so everyone is down at once. You can nap or clean or do whatever you want with both of them sleeping. :) About 6 days out of 7, I get all three of mine asleep at once. It's heavenly.

My son (who's 5) was almost 3 (2 years and 10 months) when my daughter was born and it was tricky but once you establish a routine, it becomes very manageable. I had my son be my helper and praised him constantly about what a good big brother he was and we did lots of high fives and 'you make mommy so happy' comments (praises go along way, don't be afraid to overdo it. The hard part for me was my son had zero interest in his new sister at all. She might as well been invisible. One of the moms on here gave me some excellent advice to get him interested and it worked great. I gave my daughter a 'voice', so to speak. So, say my son had a toy, I would say in a cute little voice (speaking for my daughter), 'ooh, can I see that too?' and kinda hold a little conversation for her with him. And my son would go and talk back to his lil sis as though she were really speaking to him. So, that all helped. But you would be surprised at how much little kids want to be helpers. oh, and if you have a baby sling, you can 'wear' the little one around and you can be a bit more mobile with the older one.

I understand your concern, be confident that as time goes on you will quickly get the hang of managing the 2. The 'jobs' my 3 year old enjoy/enjoyed most were helping 'change the diapers' (fastening the diaper straps) and 'cheering the baby up' when the baby would cry by bringing toys or gently loving on the baby. My biggest piece of advice is not forgetting your 3 year old is still your baby too. I would rock them together, steal moments where I would read to my 'baby girl' when the infant was sleeping to remind her that she is still just as important. Congratulations and good luck!