How to Help Toddler Deal with New Sister

Hi S.

It is tough for the siblings when a new baby comes home. I do agree that you can't let discipline go, you should have the same rules, and enforce them the same way now. We use time out as our main "punishment."
But, as hard as it is taking care of the new one, just try to make sure your oldest is included in everything that he/she wants to be. Make room on your lap for him too, even when feeding. Ask him to hold the new diaper while you change the baby and give him plenty of opportunity to kiss and hug and cuddle with the new baby. Tell him what a good big brother he is. This too will pass. My oldest was just about the same age when his sister was born and he got bored with the new baby rather quickly. Now, when number 3 came along 15 months later, I had 2 clingy older guys to tend with. You will all get through this, I promise!

go buy him a big bro shirt and make a big deal of it. Try as much as possible to not change his routine. This is all brand new to him and you also and the first few weeks will be rough for all to adjust to new baby. Have him help with her. Also put him on the floor his legs spread apart and put the baby in between his legs with her head resting on one so he can hold her.

A three year olds job is to test you every waking moment of every day. I don't believe that yelling is the answer, I do believe that a warning and a follow thru is the answer. Just remember that a 3 year old is going to test you ever day to get your attention, they want to be a baby but they want their independence also. One of many confusing times in a child's life. Give him an "important" job for him to do for you every day. Something that just he can do. Praise him for doing it. Something like folding clothes or counting diapers...just something. If you give a child a sense of imporance and they will be a happier child and less of an attention seeker. Stay stong, it is a 3 yo's job to test you every minute.

Hi S.,

Your son is regressing to be like the baby.

There is no need to punish him. Draw him in to help you with the baby. Let him hold the baby and whatever is necessary to help him feel like a big brother.

Good luck. D.

Congratulations :) I think you need to over emphasize the attention on your son for now. When he does something good, get very excited. I would also try to find plenty of things for him to do. Ask him to bring you the babies diaper, pacifier...something...and then tell him what an amazing help he is. Don't worry, this stage will pass before you know it and the two of them will be getting into sneaky trouble together :)

Try assigning simple tasks that allow him to be part of the care process. One of the things that my oldest daughter used to do was to put the dirty diapers in the diaper genie (within reason, of course, no gross ones!). I was suprised at how well doing this helped her adjust. Granted, she was 3.5 yrs old when her sister was born, but some of my friends have had their younger children help pick out clothes for the baby, stack diapers, etc. Congrats and Good Luck with everything!